Bragging vs. honest celebrating

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If social media posting is your thing, I think May 1 commitment day is okay. Move in day even better.

Not the minute you get the news and your kids
Peer group got bad news.

I think this is right. If you post to social media about kids stuff in general (to what I assume/hope is a carefully curated list of friends) then it's totally fine to say "We have a new Terp/Banana Slug/Tree in the house!" when they've made their final decision.
Posting every acceptance is just tacky and crappy.

[Anonymous]

I have a friend who videotaped and posted her DD seeing her Harvard acceptance for the first time, including the screaming, cry, hugging. It felt...weird. Racked up hundreds of likes and congrats, though.

[Anonymous]

We celebrated by cooking DS's favorite dinner and having a small cake that said congrats. Grandpa came for dinner. Nobody was told via social media. I only told my best friend in Denmark. That's how we honestly celebrated without bragging.

[Anonymous]

My kid was on the other side of the planet when she got her HYP acceptance, I think she updated Instagram right away under her name and that was it. I was at work when she texted me and was literally walking in to see a patient so I told the patient why I had such a big smile and then I went home and had a beer. Texted the grandparents I'm sure. That was it. Definitely no social media bragging. She's a junior now and I still have no merch but do have a car sticker.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid was on the other side of the planet when she got her HYP acceptance, I think she updated Instagram right away under her name and that was it. I was at work when she texted me and was literally walking in to see a patient so I told the patient why I had such a big smile and then I went home and had a beer. Texted the grandparents I'm sure. That was it. Definitely no social media bragging. She's a junior now and I still have no merch but do have a car sticker.

You updated her Instagram with her acceptance?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid was on the other side of the planet when she got her HYP acceptance, I think she updated Instagram right away under her name and that was it. I was at work when she texted me and was literally walking in to see a patient so I told the patient why I had such a big smile and then I went home and had a beer. Texted the grandparents I'm sure. That was it. Definitely no social media bragging. She's a junior now and I still have no merch but do have a car sticker.

You updated her Instagram with her acceptance?!

well no of course not, she updated it herself (you know the spot under their name where they put location, school etc)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a very fraught and emotional time for seniors and their parents. While one kid can be over the moon elated, there are a few who will be devastated. For acquaintances, wait until the news find its way to you (via social media, the grapevine or the student wears the college’s sweatshirt). If your friend wants to tell you where their kid was accepted, they will let you know. We didn’t really CELEBRATE entrance to medical school. I hugged him and told him I was thrilled for him.

I know the kids are proud of their achievements, but what went on at my child's Montgomery County "W" school was completely damaging to their psyche, which we try to build. Kids constantly chirping on which school is good and which are not (anything over a 50 percent acceptance rate is apparently no good), wearing the MIchigan sweatshirts to school daily boasting of acceptance, same with Ivies.

So glad we are out of that hellhole. It was so damaging. The boasting and bragging. YOu can't stop it and I don't know if it is going on in other areas. And the instagram junk. Kid got into a top 30 public undersity and was too "embarrassed" to tell anyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid was on the other side of the planet when she got her HYP acceptance, I think she updated Instagram right away under her name and that was it. I was at work when she texted me and was literally walking in to see a patient so I told the patient why I had such a big smile and then I went home and had a beer. Texted the grandparents I'm sure. That was it. Definitely no social media bragging. She's a junior now and I still have no merch but do have a car sticker.

You updated her Instagram with her acceptance?!

well no of course not, she updated it herself (you know the spot under their name where they put location, school etc)

Holy cow, I misread. Sorry about that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend who videotaped and posted her DD seeing her Harvard acceptance for the first time, including the screaming, cry, hugging. It felt...weird. Racked up hundreds of likes and congrats, though.

Gross

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If social media posting is your thing, I think May 1 commitment day is okay. Move in day even better.

Not the minute you get the news and your kids
Peer group got bad news.

This is good advice. May 1 is a day that a lot of kid will share the news, so if there are families or kids who are disappointed or sensitive to it, they can prepare for it and avoid as needed. Same with move in.

I think you want to avoid contributing to a scenario where kids or their parents post as they get letters, and all of senior year turns into a long process of watching your peers celebrate acceptance to schools while you are dealing with rejections or waitlists, or get accepted to a school you aren't enthusiastic about. Yes, that's life, but social media puts a spotlight on it. Why make it harder on those kids than it already is? Take your kid out to a special dinner and celebrate with family and tell them how proud you are. Then remind them that not all their friends may be in the same boat, and to be thoughtful about their behavior. Good life lesson for everyone, honestly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend who videotaped and posted her DD seeing her Harvard acceptance for the first time, including the screaming, cry, hugging. It felt...weird. Racked up hundreds of likes and congrats, though.

Of course it did. Would love to know what percent of those likes and congratulations were offered begrudgingly, with snarky comments to others, out of an effort to appear happy when actually devastated, etc.

Likes and social media comments mean nothing. They are as much a performance as the posts themselves.

[Anonymous]

Bragging isn’t cool, but it’s sad - and a tell of the times - that a great achievement can’t be shared. Nobel Prize winners are announced to the world, not in the shadow of night with a whisper in the winner’s ear. Selective colleges don’t give participation trophies, and perhaps that’s the problem. Maybe Ivy rejects should list their acceptance like this: Attending WashU, but my grades and SAT qualified me for HYPSM!

[Anonymous]

I have zero issues with kids or parents posting about where they have decided to go. Just don't post about acceptances if it is not the one acceptance your kid has mutually accepted! My kids have a few years yet, but I imagine I will just wait for people to ask and eventually post a photo from move-in day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If social media posting is your thing, I think May 1 commitment day is okay. Move in day even better.

Not the minute you get the news and your kids
Peer group got bad news.

I like this- post it on move in day.

[Anonymous]

I love reading/seeing where the kids are going. Obviously I’m in the minority, but I think it’s great. A kid doesn’t get into college on their own. There’s a lot of years of family support behind that admission letter.

The next time I see the kid or their parents I like to offer congratulations, hear about their next big adventure, talk about what they will do at school. But I feel the same way if you post your kid got into Frostburg, George Mason, cosmetology school, joined the carpenters apprentice program, or HYP.

I’m truly happy for your kids success and moving onto the next phase of life.