Bragging vs. honest celebrating

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not sharing where you're going to college is like announcing that you're getting married but not sharing the groom for fear other will be jealous. It's just bizarre behavior.

You either don't post any info at all or tell people you're excited to marry Bob. They congratulate you. Boom. Done.

Agree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not sharing where you're going to college is like announcing that you're getting married but not sharing the groom for fear other will be jealous. It's just bizarre behavior.

You either don't post any info at all or tell people you're excited to marry Bob. They congratulate you. Boom. Done.

But in the college context it’s more like posting that your child is marrying Bob. Skip it and post a nice family move-in photo if you must.

[Anonymous]

So parents are not allowed to celebrate anything now?

[Anonymous]

"It sends a weird message to kids when we need them to get admitted to a college that is very difficult to get into. The emphasis should be on supporting them as they transition to college, not on the fact that they "won" a spot somewhere selective, or worse, pretending that they did when they didn't."

What is "high horse" about this statement? Why make this time all about whether or not a kid did something worthy of congratulations? Everyone turns 18 eventually, most around here graduate from high school, and most move away to college. You can mark that moment without making it about an accomplishment.

Do you also congratulate kids for finishing fifth grade at their elementary school and starting middle school?

My kid has special needs. These kids are the last ones who want everyone focused on congratulating kids for getting into selective colleges. Can't you see that this just makes the kids going to regular old average colleges feel bad? Just be happy for them as they transition to the next big phase of life and stop making everything a competition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is there anyone on here who agrees posting where your kid got in is ok AND they don’t post many of their kids’ accomplishments?

From these responses, I guess there are two camps:

1. People who think it’s great to celebrate big and little accomplishments and if the reader or hearer doesn’t like it, too bad.

2. People who think it’s braggy to post accomplishments because people don’t want to hear about it and all people close enough to you will already know or soon know where your child is going (from conversations where it naturally comes up, HS announces it, from other friends, etc.)

I’d nuance camp one. Most don’t think bragging is OK. But simply announcing your child’s outcome is fine: “Larla got good news from Yale today!”

But WHY when you know others didn’t and are hurting? Can’t you be happy privately at least until the sting wears off for other families? Karla has the entire rest of her life to mention it in conversation. This is needless.

[Anonymous]

Once it’s posted somewhere - whether on social media or a bumper sticker - it’s officially bragging. Why? Because the intended audience by definition goes beyond anyone who gives AF.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is there anyone on here who agrees posting where your kid got in is ok AND they don’t post many of their kids’ accomplishments?

From these responses, I guess there are two camps:

1. People who think it’s great to celebrate big and little accomplishments and if the reader or hearer doesn’t like it, too bad.

2. People who think it’s braggy to post accomplishments because people don’t want to hear about it and all people close enough to you will already know or soon know where your child is going (from conversations where it naturally comes up, HS announces it, from other friends, etc.)

I’d nuance camp one. Most don’t think bragging is OK. But simply announcing your child’s outcome is fine: “Larla got good news from Yale today!”

But WHY when you know others didn’t and are hurting? Can’t you be happy privately at least until the sting wears off for other families? Karla has the entire rest of her life to mention it in conversation. This is needless.

I am hurting every time I see this guy take his McLaren to a Wawa to get snacks. Such is life.
Do I think 'dang must be nice and I wish....' Sure. Do I let it eat me up. Nope.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You celebrate in your house and with your immediate family and maybe with some close friends (if and only if they do not have kids who are around the same age). Beyond that, I typically consider it to be bragging. Think why you are sharing the news.

Helpful, thanks. But I'm someone who's curious where friends' kids are going and would like to celebrate with them. Am I in the minority?

No, you are nosy who tries to pass off your nosiness as good hearted interest and curiosity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend who videotaped and posted her DD seeing her Harvard acceptance for the first time, including the screaming, cry, hugging. It felt...weird. Racked up hundreds of likes and congrats, though.

Barf.

And no, before anyone bothers, I’m not “jealous.” I’m an Ivy League grad myself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You celebrate in your house and with your immediate family and maybe with some close friends (if and only if they do not have kids who are around the same age). Beyond that, I typically consider it to be bragging. Think why you are sharing the news.

Helpful, thanks. But I'm someone who's curious where friends' kids are going and would like to celebrate with them. Am I in the minority?

No, you are nosy who tries to pass off your nosiness as good hearted interest and curiosity.

No, actually, it's that I have no life, am a total failure, and it honestly makes me happy to see kids succeeding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"It sends a weird message to kids when we need them to get admitted to a college that is very difficult to get into. The emphasis should be on supporting them as they transition to college, not on the fact that they "won" a spot somewhere selective, or worse, pretending that they did when they didn't."

What is "high horse" about this statement? Why make this time all about whether or not a kid did something worthy of congratulations? Everyone turns 18 eventually, most around here graduate from high school, and most move away to college. You can mark that moment without making it about an accomplishment.

Do you also congratulate kids for finishing fifth grade at their elementary school and starting middle school?

My kid has special needs. These kids are the last ones who want everyone focused on congratulating kids for getting into selective colleges. Can't you see that this just makes the kids going to regular old average colleges feel bad? Just be happy for them as they transition to the next big phase of life and stop making everything a competition.

This isn't comprehensible. I don't know what you're trying to say?!?!

And yes I did congratulate my kids for finishing 5th grade. They worked hard all year and I was proud of how much they'd grown and learned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We're waiting on decisions and aren't the selective schools types anyway, so this is a very academic question - but where's the line? We're not really HYP people, but if DS really wanted to go and got in, I would be over the moon for him. Same for his high reaches that probably aren't impressive to anyone here. Just curious.

No need to share these kinds of news with anyone but your nearest family members. That is the line. If people ask then tell them. Otherwise, there is zero reason to share anything that can be considered braggy.

PP here. I think families should be able to celebrate in any way they choose. You don't have to be happy for them, just don't act out and be a petulant child about it.

Then you miss the point that others may not be celebrating the news they’ve received. While you’re happily sharing, you could be purposefully causing others pain, discomfort, etc. why would anyone do that? If you and your neighbor were both awaiting biopsy results, would you celebrate in any way you chose…including in front of your neighbor who either found out his results or was still waiting for them?

Either you get it or you don’t.

They are not thinking about you - they are happy for their kid and celebrating their kid. It has nothing to do with you.

I know people who celebrate any school - and that is great! They should be celebrating their kid!

Some of you parents are super twisted and have issues that have nothing to do with your kids, at all.

Nobody said they can’t “celebrate their kid.” Celebrate away. If you need public or social media attention for it, you’re pathetic. Shrug.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is there anyone on here who agrees posting where your kid got in is ok AND they don’t post many of their kids’ accomplishments?

From these responses, I guess there are two camps:

1. People who think it’s great to celebrate big and little accomplishments and if the reader or hearer doesn’t like it, too bad.

2. People who think it’s braggy to post accomplishments because people don’t want to hear about it and all people close enough to you will already know or soon know where your child is going (from conversations where it naturally comes up, HS announces it, from other friends, etc.)

I’d nuance camp one. Most don’t think bragging is OK. But simply announcing your child’s outcome is fine: “Larla got good news from Yale today!”

But WHY when you know others didn’t and are hurting? Can’t you be happy privately at least until the sting wears off for other families? Karla has the entire rest of her life to mention it in conversation. This is needless.

You need therapy. Yale isn't all that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The high school newspaper at my daughter's MC school at the end of the year lists what schools everyone is attending. The cat will be out of the bag eventually.

I could care less what schools other kids are attending. I just want my daughter to find the school that is the right fit for her.

Key words bolded.

[Anonymous]

Posting once with the final decision or move in is news.

Posting weekly or monthly and working it in everywhere is bragging. No kidding someone posted first day of school photos of their kid at Harvard senior year. And if one woman doesn’t work Northwestern into a post on a weekly basis, send the EMTs, she must be unconscious.