Bragging vs. honest celebrating

[Anonymous]

We're waiting on decisions and aren't the selective schools types anyway, so this is a very academic question - but where's the line? We're not really HYP people, but if DS really wanted to go and got in, I would be over the moon for him. Same for his high reaches that probably aren't impressive to anyone here. Just curious.

[Anonymous]

You celebrate in your house and with your immediate family and maybe with some close friends (if and only if they do not have kids who are around the same age). Beyond that, I typically consider it to be bragging. Think why you are sharing the news.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You celebrate in your house and with your immediate family and maybe with some close friends (if and only if they do not have kids who are around the same age). Beyond that, I typically consider it to be bragging. Think why you are sharing the news.

Helpful, thanks. But I'm someone who's curious where friends' kids are going and would like to celebrate with them. Am I in the minority?

[Anonymous]

I think the only people who can get away with doing it loudly are special needs kids who overcame lots of challenges and managed to get into random state tech college. Or a kid from a very low income family who managed to get a spot at one of the less selective meets need schools like Syracuse, where they can actually afford to attend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You celebrate in your house and with your immediate family and maybe with some close friends (if and only if they do not have kids who are around the same age). Beyond that, I typically consider it to be bragging. Think why you are sharing the news.

Helpful, thanks. But I'm someone who's curious where friends' kids are going and would like to celebrate with them. Am I in the minority?

NP. Yes. Most people find the social media admissions posts very tacky, unless there is a very good reason (e.g a kid who had cancer in high school and yet still managed to get into college).

You can celebrate admissions without knowing the schools. You’ll find out where they go in a few short months.

[Anonymous]

I am not sure what you are asking?

Are you talking about calling or texting friends to tell them where your kid is going without being asked? Don't do this.

Are you talking about answering their question if they ask? Do this.

Are you talking about posting on social media? My thinking on that is a post at college drop-off in August is acceptable. Anything else is cringey.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You celebrate in your house and with your immediate family and maybe with some close friends (if and only if they do not have kids who are around the same age). Beyond that, I typically consider it to be bragging. Think why you are sharing the news.

Helpful, thanks. But I'm someone who's curious where friends' kids are going and would like to celebrate with them. Am I in the minority?

NP. Yes. Most people find the social media admissions posts very tacky, unless there is a very good reason (e.g a kid who had cancer in high school and yet still managed to get into college).

You can celebrate admissions without knowing the schools. You’ll find out where they go in a few short months.

Exactly. It will come up in conversation at some point.

[Anonymous]

Unfortunately, there is a scarcity mentality about this sort of thing that makes it hard to not compare your kids' outcomes with others'. Even if your cousin applied 4 years ago, you'll still be resentful that they got in as a legacy to the school your entire family attended but your DC didn't. Or you'll be resentful that your neighbor in MD can afford to take up Penn State on their offer but you can't.

[Anonymous]

If social media posting is your thing, I think May 1 commitment day is okay. Move in day even better.

Not the minute you get the news and your kids
Peer group got bad news.

[Anonymous]

This is a very fraught and emotional time for seniors and their parents. While one kid can be over the moon elated, there are a few who will be devastated. For acquaintances, wait until the news find its way to you (via social media, the grapevine or the student wears the college’s sweatshirt). If your friend wants to tell you where their kid was accepted, they will let you know. We didn’t really CELEBRATE entrance to medical school. I hugged him and told him I was thrilled for him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If social media posting is your thing, I think May 1 commitment day is okay. Move in day even better.

Not the minute you get the news and your kids
Peer group got bad news.

I like this answer a lot. Thanks.

- OP

[Anonymous]

On social media, wait until move-in day.

In your personal life, tell people who specifically ask.

[Anonymous]

My son was admitted to Cornell ED and was over the moon excited—as were we. It was his absolute dream, although we tried to mange expectations. Not HYP, but still a coveted admit at his HS.

He was VERY low key at school and didn’t bring it up. He was a 2020 HS grad so things started coming apart in that spring. It didn’t seem right to highlight it when so many people were struggling. He didn’t want anyone to feel bad as his friends were rejected from their first choices.

People knew at school because he checked his decision when he was with a few of his friends (at their prodding). I did not post on Facebook (not really my thing anyways). And I did not initiate the college discussion with other parents. We celebrated as a family.

I know people are different and some like to shout from the treetops about their kids. That is fine, but we are just low key.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If social media posting is your thing, I think May 1 commitment day is okay. Move in day even better.

Not the minute you get the news and your kids
Peer group got bad news.

I like this answer a lot. Thanks.

- OP

Move in day is probably safest because things can and do change over the summer.

[Anonymous]

When everything shut down for Covid it looked like DD would be at UMD. Then she got off a waitlist at an ivy. Most of my coworkers probably still think she went to UMD. If ti does not come up it does not need to be an announcement.