How do I find decent UMC guys to date?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Paris Hilton just got married at 40 to an affluent guy.

Yeah but he has a kid from a previous relationship that he's refused to raise so he's a bad guy.

That kind of equals them though. She has had a dirty past with the sex vid and all.

She’s a frickin’ heiress herself. That’s a little different and shows you the rich marry their own.

Never married Amber from Rockville at 40 is not marrying a Carter Reum.

Yes. The Hilton’s and Reums are longtime family friends and tgey had known each other for over 15 years when they started dating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH is this. UMC, he has some inherited family $$$ that is coming. He’s an engaged father, has a good job, 6’3” etc. Here’s my take, if the guys falling into this category aren’t complete tools, they’re totally off the market by the time they’re 30. We started dating when he was 26 and I was 34. All of his similar friends that are decent looking were already in relationships when we met or in serious relationships that led to marriage within two months of me meeting him. I’m now 35, and he’s almost 38. His only single friend left is lazy, short, gotten overweight, and not good looking.

Yep. They’re all taken by now.

Good advice. And you started dating him when you were 34. So the takeaway is: date younger! I do think men like to be in a relationship more than women (statistics back that up) so they tend to settle down earlier. A lot of women want to be wild until mid 30s, and they may be top quality women, but didn't want kids or anything earlier. Men seem to figure out what they want way earlier, IME

[Anonymous]

Man here and BigLaw partner, age 38 and I see this among several female associates in their late 20s and early 30s.

I know zero never married, "eligible" men in this age range and I know a lot of men.

I put eligible in quotes because I do know some men who are single but don't fit the criteria of UMC and hyper educated and and attractive.

Agree with some others that if you expand your criteria to contractors and men with trades, you will find a bigger pool. They are often as or more financially successful.

I would also be cautious of divorced men with children but divorced men without children are definitely worth looking at.

Only other advice is I would make this a big priority now. Assuming you want a husband and kids. The dating market is still decent for you but it gets very bleak by mid 30s.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

I do know some attractive single umc men in their 30s but by and large they have pretty big issues of some sort that keeps them from commitment and are not going to be “changed” by some girl lol (the naive ones always think they can lol)

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Op what are you like? How old are you? Where do you live?

I’m 31F, white, fit, living in DC working as a fed.

Did you have umc track boys dating you in hs, college or in your twenties?

What are the types of guys you got from 16-30?

Lots of different types. I did go through a bad boy phase in college for a bit but I’ve dated the introverted nerdy guys as well.

So basically UMC-tracked boys did not date you and you yourself are not UMC-tracked?

I think that certain type of guys are UMC-tracked and good DH material. They also do not have a protector mentality and are attracted to low-drama, UMC-tracked, emotionally stable, mature, good looking and healthy girls. It may sound very vanilla but that's the truth.

Op does not sound like she grew up umc, otherwise she would also lean on her childhood or parental network as well.

Are you trying to jump up above your station op?

It's possible OP does not live where she grew up. You make it sound like all the UMC are inbred like the Royals.

No, but if you grew up in a tier 1 or 2 city in a umc setting, attend a university popular with your peers, even if you move to a completely new city far away you end up in similar social circles.

People who say grow up in Seattle, attend lakeside, go to vassar, then move to dc are not suddenly finding themselves completely lost and wondering where “their people” are.

But PP mentions parental and childhood networks which would be wherever she grew up which may not be where she currently lives, not current networks of friends or coworkers.

Parental and childhood networks are relevant because if you are “a catch” when you go back home for the holidays, your family and friends will try to set you up with eligible peers even if they are in a different tier 1/2 city.

In 2021 dating is geographically broad but narrow in class. It’s the opposite of even as late as the 90s.

Do you really think that desirable men want to date someone a flight of 4 hour drive away and not have regular sex just because Aunt Larla can vouch for their background?

If OP is a catch as she thinks she is, pressionar men under 40 that are looking for a serious relationship,in areas of terrible gender ratios, (like sf and Seattle and Denver) will absolutely be open to this to start with.

Dating has changed so much even over that last 5 years. Millennials are moving to becoming elder millennials and a lot of them are single and looking and prefer to cast their geographic net wide instead of their class net wide.

[Anonymous]

Lol so op wants a tall guy with a masters who makes over 175k that want kids.

Yeah, those get harder to find by mid 30s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op what are you like? How old are you? Where do you live?

I’m 31F, white, fit, living in DC working as a fed.

Did you have umc track boys dating you in hs, college or in your twenties?

What are the types of guys you got from 16-30?

Lots of different types. I did go through a bad boy phase in college for a bit but I’ve dated the introverted nerdy guys as well.

So basically UMC-tracked boys did not date you and you yourself are not UMC-tracked?

I think that certain type of guys are UMC-tracked and good DH material. They also do not have a protector mentality and are attracted to low-drama, UMC-tracked, emotionally stable, mature, good looking and healthy girls. It may sound very vanilla but that's the truth.

What the f**k is UMC-tracked? I grew up in a UMC family. My siblings and I are all UMC as well. It's the upbringing and education that brought that about. If your were UMC growing up, you'll probably be UMC as well.

It's the biggest predictor, but probably is a stretch. It doesn't take much to slip down to middle class.

Yep — especially in the US.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op what are you like? How old are you? Where do you live?

I’m 31F, white, fit, living in DC working as a fed.

Did you have umc track boys dating you in hs, college or in your twenties?

What are the types of guys you got from 16-30?

Lots of different types. I did go through a bad boy phase in college for a bit but I’ve dated the introverted nerdy guys as well.

So basically UMC-tracked boys did not date you and you yourself are not UMC-tracked?

I think that certain type of guys are UMC-tracked and good DH material. They also do not have a protector mentality and are attracted to low-drama, UMC-tracked, emotionally stable, mature, good looking and healthy girls. It may sound very vanilla but that's the truth.

Op does not sound like she grew up umc, otherwise she would also lean on her childhood or parental network as well.

Are you trying to jump up above your station op?

It's possible OP does not live where she grew up. You make it sound like all the UMC are inbred like the Royals.

No, but if you grew up in a tier 1 or 2 city in a umc setting, attend a university popular with your peers, even if you move to a completely new city far away you end up in similar social circles.

People who say grow up in Seattle, attend lakeside, go to vassar, then move to dc are not suddenly finding themselves completely lost and wondering where “their people” are.

But PP mentions parental and childhood networks which would be wherever she grew up which may not be where she currently lives, not current networks of friends or coworkers.

Parental and childhood networks are relevant because if you are “a catch” when you go back home for the holidays, your family and friends will try to set you up with eligible peers even if they are in a different tier 1/2 city.

In 2021 dating is geographically broad but narrow in class. It’s the opposite of even as late as the 90s.

Do you really think that desirable men want to date someone a flight of 4 hour drive away and not have regular sex just because Aunt Larla can vouch for their background?

If OP is a catch as she thinks she is, pressionar men under 40 that are looking for a serious relationship,in areas of terrible gender ratios, (like sf and Seattle and Denver) will absolutely be open to this to start with.

Dating has changed so much even over that last 5 years. Millennials are moving to becoming elder millennials and a lot of them are single and looking and prefer to cast their geographic net wide instead of their class net wide.

SF and Seattle have terrible gender ratios but the men op describes still get snapped up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Man here and BigLaw partner, age 38 and I see this among several female associates in their late 20s and early 30s.

I know zero never married, "eligible" men in this age range and I know a lot of men.

I put eligible in quotes because I do know some men who are single but don't fit the criteria of UMC and hyper educated and and attractive.

Agree with some others that if you expand your criteria to contractors and men with trades, you will find a bigger pool. They are often as or more financially successful.

I would also be cautious of divorced men with children but divorced men without children are definitely worth looking at.

Only other advice is I would make this a big priority now. Assuming you want a husband and kids. The dating market is still decent for you but it gets very bleak by mid 30s.

Good luck!

Exactly.

If OP is willing to date under 5’9 and south or East Asian, she will find 10 guys fitting all the other criteria tomorrow.

Otherwise she will have to give on one of the attributes. Blue collar, but with money and preferred race/height.

White collar, educated (even with multiple degrees from good schools) and prefered race but underemployed
….. someone who liked and did well in school but not ambitious and working in low pay but competitive jobs like journalism/think tank etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly I dont know either. I'm a very attractive woman, early 30s, hang out in upscale places, live in an upscale building, and I have a super hard time meeting eligible men. I think p*rn and video games have done a number on men and so many young guys are just... losers.

I'm gonna date for a few more years and possible find a sp**m donor, or else pick up some hot young guy and make him into a househusband, lol. It's not ideal but it is what it is. If you look at the statistics you can see birth rates are plummeting, marriage rates are falling, etc. Men arent going to college or getting jobs.

So either you get lucky and find a man youre compatible with or I guess you do things alone. I'm also open to dating men from other cultures (specifically european or east asian, because that's what I'm attracted to) who seem much more marriage minded.

it's mostly a waste of time in the USA, and I think you see higher numbers of male virgins and incels than ever before. It's just a disaster for men out there.

So I think a lot more women will just raise kids on their own. Theyve been doing it in the black community for a long time. I think that will start spreading across all demographics, and oh well. It's really not that awful when you think about it. I'm mentally and financially prepared to have and raise kids if that's what happens. C'est la vie!

The men you want are dating younger, hotter versions of you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op what are you like? How old are you? Where do you live?

I’m 31F, white, fit, living in DC working as a fed.

Did you have umc track boys dating you in hs, college or in your twenties?

What are the types of guys you got from 16-30?

Lots of different types. I did go through a bad boy phase in college for a bit but I’ve dated the introverted nerdy guys as well.

So basically UMC-tracked boys did not date you and you yourself are not UMC-tracked?

I think that certain type of guys are UMC-tracked and good DH material. They also do not have a protector mentality and are attracted to low-drama, UMC-tracked, emotionally stable, mature, good looking and healthy girls. It may sound very vanilla but that's the truth.

Op does not sound like she grew up umc, otherwise she would also lean on her childhood or parental network as well.

Are you trying to jump up above your station op?

It's possible OP does not live where she grew up. You make it sound like all the UMC are inbred like the Royals.

No, but if you grew up in a tier 1 or 2 city in a umc setting, attend a university popular with your peers, even if you move to a completely new city far away you end up in similar social circles.

People who say grow up in Seattle, attend lakeside, go to vassar, then move to dc are not suddenly finding themselves completely lost and wondering where “their people” are.

But PP mentions parental and childhood networks which would be wherever she grew up which may not be where she currently lives, not current networks of friends or coworkers.

Parental and childhood networks are relevant because if you are “a catch” when you go back home for the holidays, your family and friends will try to set you up with eligible peers even if they are in a different tier 1/2 city.

In 2021 dating is geographically broad but narrow in class. It’s the opposite of even as late as the 90s.

Do you really think that desirable men want to date someone a flight of 4 hour drive away and not have regular sex just because Aunt Larla can vouch for their background?

If OP is a catch as she thinks she is, pressionar men under 40 that are looking for a serious relationship,in areas of terrible gender ratios, (like sf and Seattle and Denver) will absolutely be open to this to start with.

Dating has changed so much even over that last 5 years. Millennials are moving to becoming elder millennials and a lot of them are single and looking and prefer to cast their geographic net wide instead of their class net wide.

SF and Seattle have terrible gender ratios but the men op describes still get snapped up.

dunno — I can think of a number or single never married guys making 250k a year base at FAANG right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly I dont know either. I'm a very attractive woman, early 30s, hang out in upscale places, live in an upscale building, and I have a super hard time meeting eligible men. I think p*rn and video games have done a number on men and so many young guys are just... losers.

I'm gonna date for a few more years and possible find a sp**m donor, or else pick up some hot young guy and make him into a househusband, lol. It's not ideal but it is what it is. If you look at the statistics you can see birth rates are plummeting, marriage rates are falling, etc. Men arent going to college or getting jobs.

So either you get lucky and find a man youre compatible with or I guess you do things alone. I'm also open to dating men from other cultures (specifically european or east asian, because that's what I'm attracted to) who seem much more marriage minded.

it's mostly a waste of time in the USA, and I think you see higher numbers of male virgins and incels than ever before. It's just a disaster for men out there.

So I think a lot more women will just raise kids on their own. Theyve been doing it in the black community for a long time. I think that will start spreading across all demographics, and oh well. It's really not that awful when you think about it. I'm mentally and financially prepared to have and raise kids if that's what happens. C'est la vie!

The men you want are dating younger, hotter versions of you.

None of the men I've ever had crushes on ended up with a younger woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH is this. UMC, he has some inherited family $$$ that is coming. He’s an engaged father, has a good job, 6’3” etc. Here’s my take, if the guys falling into this category aren’t complete tools, they’re totally off the market by the time they’re 30. We started dating when he was 26 and I was 34. All of his similar friends that are decent looking were already in relationships when we met or in serious relationships that led to marriage within two months of me meeting him. I’m now 35, and he’s almost 38. His only single friend left is lazy, short, gotten overweight, and not good looking.

Yep. They’re all taken by now.

Good advice. And you started dating him when you were 34. So the takeaway is: date younger! I do think men like to be in a relationship more than women (statistics back that up) so they tend to settle down earlier. A lot of women want to be wild until mid 30s, and they may be top quality women, but didn't want kids or anything earlier. Men seem to figure out what they want way earlier, IME

+1 Date younger

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op what are you like? How old are you? Where do you live?

I’m 31F, white, fit, living in DC working as a fed.

Did you have umc track boys dating you in hs, college or in your twenties?

What are the types of guys you got from 16-30?

Lots of different types. I did go through a bad boy phase in college for a bit but I’ve dated the introverted nerdy guys as well.

So basically UMC-tracked boys did not date you and you yourself are not UMC-tracked?

I think that certain type of guys are UMC-tracked and good DH material. They also do not have a protector mentality and are attracted to low-drama, UMC-tracked, emotionally stable, mature, good looking and healthy girls. It may sound very vanilla but that's the truth.

Op does not sound like she grew up umc, otherwise she would also lean on her childhood or parental network as well.

Are you trying to jump up above your station op?

It's possible OP does not live where she grew up. You make it sound like all the UMC are inbred like the Royals.

No, but if you grew up in a tier 1 or 2 city in a umc setting, attend a university popular with your peers, even if you move to a completely new city far away you end up in similar social circles.

People who say grow up in Seattle, attend lakeside, go to vassar, then move to dc are not suddenly finding themselves completely lost and wondering where “their people” are.

But PP mentions parental and childhood networks which would be wherever she grew up which may not be where she currently lives, not current networks of friends or coworkers.

Parental and childhood networks are relevant because if you are “a catch” when you go back home for the holidays, your family and friends will try to set you up with eligible peers even if they are in a different tier 1/2 city.

In 2021 dating is geographically broad but narrow in class. It’s the opposite of even as late as the 90s.

Do you really think that desirable men want to date someone a flight of 4 hour drive away and not have regular sex just because Aunt Larla can vouch for their background?

If OP is a catch as she thinks she is, pressionar men under 40 that are looking for a serious relationship,in areas of terrible gender ratios, (like sf and Seattle and Denver) will absolutely be open to this to start with.

Dating has changed so much even over that last 5 years. Millennials are moving to becoming elder millennials and a lot of them are single and looking and prefer to cast their geographic net wide instead of their class net wide.

SF and Seattle have terrible gender ratios but the men op describes still get snapped up.

dunno — I can think of a number or single never married guys making 250k a year base at FAANG right now.

The ones not taken have some major issues in general.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly I dont know either. I'm a very attractive woman, early 30s, hang out in upscale places, live in an upscale building, and I have a super hard time meeting eligible men. I think p*rn and video games have done a number on men and so many young guys are just... losers.

I'm gonna date for a few more years and possible find a sp**m donor, or else pick up some hot young guy and make him into a househusband, lol. It's not ideal but it is what it is. If you look at the statistics you can see birth rates are plummeting, marriage rates are falling, etc. Men arent going to college or getting jobs.

So either you get lucky and find a man youre compatible with or I guess you do things alone. I'm also open to dating men from other cultures (specifically european or east asian, because that's what I'm attracted to) who seem much more marriage minded.

it's mostly a waste of time in the USA, and I think you see higher numbers of male virgins and incels than ever before. It's just a disaster for men out there.

So I think a lot more women will just raise kids on their own. Theyve been doing it in the black community for a long time. I think that will start spreading across all demographics, and oh well. It's really not that awful when you think about it. I'm mentally and financially prepared to have and raise kids if that's what happens. C'est la vie!

The men you want are dating younger, hotter versions of you.

There is no "younger, hotter" version of a person. If the PP is attractive, they'll have their own unique look that you cant just easily find a replacement for.