How do I find decent UMC guys to date?

[Anonymous]

This thread is like 98% terribly written fiction.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My comment got jumbled up in replies, here it is. I commented on poster who told OP to pivot to men with good but not UMC jobs:

This is excellent advice and it’s exactly what I did as a single 30 year old in DC a few years ago. The white collar professional guys kept rejecting me so I married a man who works in IT but who I could tell had potential (we are both immigrants but he was much more recent). I married him and he has more than doubled his salary. You need to settle OP. Your friends won’t tell you this, mine sure didn’t, but I knew the truth and telling myself that the doctors and engineers who didn’t go for me didn’t represent anything would have been incredibly short sighted on my part.

This is great advice. Indian PP here as well. I, too, wanted to marry the UMC doctor or lawyer with the Princeton degree. For some reason, they never showed interest in dating me even though I went to college and high school with guys like that. I was an immigrant and perhaps did not fit what they wanted in a wife ( even though plenty of Indian women marry guys like that- white or Indian). My husband is more of a creative, entrepreneur type even though he also has 2 degrees from Georgetown. He ended up starting a consulting business and is doing very well.

Sometimes broadening what you are looking for helps. Think of Charlotte from SATC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh God. The insane "high value" nut found this threat.

“High value” is a common phrase used by women nowadays. Women know exactly what it means, it’s not an unusual term, even if you may be out of it.

I'm a 33 year old married, thin, pretty, white lawyer. Undergrad at Vanderbilt followed by Georgetown law. My DH is a partner at another firm. I've never heard that phrase anywhere but from you. Because you're a freak. And I'd bet single and childless too.

Who cares? You being culturally out of it and clueless is not my problem. You seem like a freak to me by your need to interject long, irrelevant descriptions of yourself. Move it along, grandma!

[Anonymous]

I have advised my single DD (early 20s) to build her career and education first and also pay attention to grooming and fitness. The truth is that after college or grad school, it is very hard to meet people who are your age and similar in SES and education to you.

If you are out of that stage then you need to have a plan. Just like the AA poster did. Do the meetups, show up for stuff, connect with your friends and professional contacts. Finally, here is the advice I gave to my DD - freeze your eggs at some point...so that you are not desperate and can actually have your kids as a successful single woman. My DD knows that when she turns 25, I will also start looking for "suitable boys" for her and she will have to at least meet them once. Arranged marriages are common in our culture but I won't expect my DD to accept that completely. She can continue to date etc, but she knows that her parents will also be looking at prospective grooms and they will be in the mix of people she will date. I don't expect her to marry before 28 and I certainly don't think she should have kids until she is in her 30s even if she is married. But without a plan she will just flounder around. I see too many people going via Tinder, Bumble, Match.com, shaadi.com etc. So frankly, mom and dad also looking for good matches is not terrible idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh God. The insane "high value" nut found this threat.

“High value” is a common phrase used by women nowadays. Women know exactly what it means, it’s not an unusual term, even if you may be out of it.

I'm a 33 year old married, thin, pretty, white lawyer. Undergrad at Vanderbilt followed by Georgetown law. My DH is a partner at another firm. I've never heard that phrase anywhere but from you. Because you're a freak. And I'd bet single and childless too.

Who cares? You being culturally out of it and clueless is not my problem. You seem like a freak to me by your need to interject long, irrelevant descriptions of yourself. Move it along, grandma!

Notice no denial of single and childless status.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh God. The insane "high value" nut found this threat.

“High value” is a common phrase used by women nowadays. Women know exactly what it means, it’s not an unusual term, even if you may be out of it.

I'm a 33 year old married, thin, pretty, white lawyer. Undergrad at Vanderbilt followed by Georgetown law. My DH is a partner at another firm. I've never heard that phrase anywhere but from you. Because you're a freak. And I'd bet single and childless too.

Who cares? You being culturally out of it and clueless is not my problem. You seem like a freak to me by your need to interject long, irrelevant descriptions of yourself. Move it along, grandma!

Notice no denial of single and childless status.

I am a different poster but you seriously are a deranged, cruel weirdo. Probably miserable too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh God. The insane "high value" nut found this threat.

“High value” is a common phrase used by women nowadays. Women know exactly what it means, it’s not an unusual term, even if you may be out of it.

I'm a 33 year old married, thin, pretty, white lawyer. Undergrad at Vanderbilt followed by Georgetown law. My DH is a partner at another firm. I've never heard that phrase anywhere but from you. Because you're a freak. And I'd bet single and childless too.

Who cares? You being culturally out of it and clueless is not my problem. You seem like a freak to me by your need to interject long, irrelevant descriptions of yourself. Move it along, grandma!

Notice no denial of single and childless status.

Lol. I’m neither but also don’t feel the need to spew every detail on my life on an anonymous board where it’s not relevant. I guess someone isn’t getting enough attention/admiration in real life? 🤣

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you were hot and very desirable, the guys would find you.

I’m from ny and went to school in Boston. I met guys everywhere - standing outside, grocery store, bars, elevators, work, friends of friends, etc.

I met my DH at a conference I attended. He didn’t actually attend the conference. He was just meeting an old friend.

I missed the whole dating app scene. I can’t help but think that good old fashioned meeting in real life is better.

I have 3 kids. Youngest is a girl. She knows so many boys already. I was just telling DH she will have so many good dating/marrying options.

God you are obnoxious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh God. The insane "high value" nut found this threat.

“High value” is a common phrase used by women nowadays. Women know exactly what it means, it’s not an unusual term, even if you may be out of it.

I'm a 33 year old married, thin, pretty, white lawyer. Undergrad at Vanderbilt followed by Georgetown law. My DH is a partner at another firm. I've never heard that phrase anywhere but from you. Because you're a freak. And I'd bet single and childless too.

Who cares? You being culturally out of it and clueless is not my problem. You seem like a freak to me by your need to interject long, irrelevant descriptions of yourself. Move it along, grandma!

Notice no denial of single and childless status.

I am a different poster but you seriously are a deranged, cruel weirdo. Probably miserable too.

I think (hope?) it’s the MRA troll LARPing as a woman. The whole “I am a white Vanderbilt grad” is just too cringe and textbook Karen-y to be real

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have advised my single DD (early 20s) to build her career and education first and also pay attention to grooming and fitness. The truth is that after college or grad school, it is very hard to meet people who are your age and similar in SES and education to you.

If you are out of that stage then you need to have a plan. Just like the AA poster did. Do the meetups, show up for stuff, connect with your friends and professional contacts. Finally, here is the advice I gave to my DD - freeze your eggs at some point...so that you are not desperate and can actually have your kids as a successful single woman. My DD knows that when she turns 25, I will also start looking for "suitable boys" for her and she will have to at least meet them once. Arranged marriages are common in our culture but I won't expect my DD to accept that completely. She can continue to date etc, but she knows that her parents will also be looking at prospective grooms and they will be in the mix of people she will date. I don't expect her to marry before 28 and I certainly don't think she should have kids until she is in her 30s even if she is married. But without a plan she will just flounder around. I see too many people going via Tinder, Bumble, Match.com, shaadi.com etc. So frankly, mom and dad also looking for good matches is not terrible idea.

This is very smart. You are correct, it is hard to stay within UMC social circle after you graduate college and until you find another UMC person to marry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh God. The insane "high value" nut found this threat.

“High value” is a common phrase used by women nowadays. Women know exactly what it means, it’s not an unusual term, even if you may be out of it.

I'm a 33 year old married, thin, pretty, white lawyer. Undergrad at Vanderbilt followed by Georgetown law. My DH is a partner at another firm. I've never heard that phrase anywhere but from you. Because you're a freak. And I'd bet single and childless too.

I’m a 33 year old engaged, thin, pretty white woman working in finance. Undergrad at Princeton followed by Wharton MBA. My DH is a big law lawyer. I’ve heard this term thrown around everywhere. For at least the past three years. Maybe you need to read more?

[Anonymous]

I married the man I loved and that loved me. He just happened to be a doctor.

Lots of men who have just jobs, as the OP put it, make good money. I think it’s narcissistic to search for a spouse based on $$$$$.

[Anonymous]

Get your nursing degree. Plenty of single 40something Drs looking for wife #2

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh God. The insane "high value" nut found this threat.

“High value” is a common phrase used by women nowadays. Women know exactly what it means, it’s not an unusual term, even if you may be out of it.

I'm a 33 year old married, thin, pretty, white lawyer. Undergrad at Vanderbilt followed by Georgetown law. My DH is a partner at another firm. I've never heard that phrase anywhere but from you. Because you're a freak. And I'd bet single and childless too.

I’m a 33 year old engaged, thin, pretty white woman working in finance. Undergrad at Princeton followed by Wharton MBA. My DH is a big law lawyer. I’ve heard this term thrown around everywhere. For at least the past three years. Maybe you need to read more?

Couldn't get in to Duke, huh?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh God. The insane "high value" nut found this threat.

“High value” is a common phrase used by women nowadays. Women know exactly what it means, it’s not an unusual term, even if you may be out of it.

I'm a 33 year old married, thin, pretty, white lawyer. Undergrad at Vanderbilt followed by Georgetown law. My DH is a partner at another firm. I've never heard that phrase anywhere but from you. Because you're a freak. And I'd bet single and childless too.

I’m a 33 year old engaged, thin, pretty white woman working in finance. Undergrad at Princeton followed by Wharton MBA. My DH is a big law lawyer. I’ve heard this term thrown around everywhere. For at least the past three years. Maybe you need to read more?

Couldn't get in to Duke, huh?

Omg, delusional Vanderbilt PP, just stop! No one on this planet thinks Vanderbilt (or duke) is better than Princeton. Give it up. You lost at the game you started. Go lick your wounds in private before you make Vanderbilt look even worse than you already have