Wife backing out on having kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you guys still having sex? Maybe an accident will happen. Don’t give up.

That’s a great plan…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like she doesn’t want to lose you because she most likely knows not having children is a dealbreaker for you. Definitely not going to be making any babies if she’s sleeping in the guest room. You know what you need to do yet you still haven’t left. My guess is she’s hot, successful, and you'll stay with her despite not being fulfilled because you don’t think you’ll ever find anyone else like her. Same reason why she keeps you on the hook. She doesn’t want to lose you either.

I’m shocked by the posts inciting OP to divorce his wife just because she doesn’t want children. It’s not 1995 Bosnia people. A woman can choose to not have children. Shake my head at some of the misogyny on this thread. Go read the Handmaids Tale before you condemn a woman for not having kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like she doesn’t want to lose you because she most likely knows not having children is a dealbreaker for you. Definitely not going to be making any babies if she’s sleeping in the guest room. You know what you need to do yet you still haven’t left. My guess is she’s hot, successful, and you'll stay with her despite not being fulfilled because you don’t think you’ll ever find anyone else like her. Same reason why she keeps you on the hook. She doesn’t want to lose you either.

I’m shocked by the posts inciting OP to divorce his wife just because she doesn’t want children. It’s not 1995 Bosnia people. A woman can choose to not have children. Shake my head at some of the misogyny on this thread. Go read the Handmaids Tale before you condemn a woman for not having kids.

You’re delusional. Can you stop using big words when you don’t know the definition? It’s not misogynistic to divorce someone if you want kids and they don’t. I bet women on this thread would be bashing the husband and saying he tricked her if OP was a woman. A woman can choose not to have children, but a man can also choose to leave a relationship if said woman doesn’t want kids and he does. OP staying in a childless marriage when he wants kids will just cause resent and issues later on. It’s not selfish. They’re no longer compatible.

Also, OP isn’t demanding all women have kids or that his wife have kids because she’s a woman. He wants a partner who wants kids and she was happy to have kids until she changed her mind. OPs wife is allowed to change her mind, but OP is allowed to leave the marriage and seek a partner who wants the same things in life.

None of this misogyny. Stop using these women because all of them have lost their real definition when it’s thrown around by women like you who have no real idea what misogyny actually is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like she doesn’t want to lose you because she most likely knows not having children is a dealbreaker for you. Definitely not going to be making any babies if she’s sleeping in the guest room. You know what you need to do yet you still haven’t left. My guess is she’s hot, successful, and you'll stay with her despite not being fulfilled because you don’t think you’ll ever find anyone else like her. Same reason why she keeps you on the hook. She doesn’t want to lose you either.

I’m shocked by the posts inciting OP to divorce his wife just because she doesn’t want children. It’s not 1995 Bosnia people. A woman can choose to not have children. Shake my head at some of the misogyny on this thread. Go read the Handmaids Tale before you condemn a woman for not having kids.

You’re delusional. Can you stop using big words when you don’t know the definition? It’s not misogynistic to divorce someone if you want kids and they don’t. I bet women on this thread would be bashing the husband and saying he tricked her if OP was a woman. A woman can choose not to have children, but a man can also choose to leave a relationship if said woman doesn’t want kids and he does. OP staying in a childless marriage when he wants kids will just cause resent and issues later on. It’s not selfish. They’re no longer compatible.

Also, OP isn’t demanding all women have kids or that his wife have kids because she’s a woman. He wants a partner who wants kids and she was happy to have kids until she changed her mind. OPs wife is allowed to change her mind, but OP is allowed to leave the marriage and seek a partner who wants the same things in life.

None of this misogyny. Stop using these women because all of them have lost their real definition when it’s thrown around by women like you who have no real idea what misogyny actually is.

* words.

All these words have lost their true meaning thanks to people like you who casually throw them around to make a weak point.

[Anonymous]

She is planning to divorce you. Read the tea leaves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not sure it's a good sign you are arguing about this to the point of sleeping in different rooms when you discuss it.

I think it's fair to ask for a timeline from her. Not a "let's discuss in 6 months" thing. But when she reasonably thinks this would fit into your (her?) lives.

But the intensity of this discussion feels like it's gotten too big. I'd suggest a neutral 3rd party, aka: therapist.

And it may be time to start contemplating what you want your life to look like if she decides she does not want children. Do you stay? Do you go?

Therapy can go on for years. In your case OP, therapy would only serve your wife’s goal here: delay long enough until biology prevents you from being a dad.

Divorce your wife if you are serious about becoming a dad. Your current wife’s actions have been crystal clear on her intentions. She will not change, sorry.

Time for you act.

This exactly. She either lied or flipped.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She is planning to divorce you. Read the tea leaves.

Is she really picking up extra shifts or is she already seeing someone else..

[Anonymous]

glad to see a woman putting her career first! Let her live her dreams. After all, you'll probably leave her to be the parent 90 percent of the time.

If no kids are a deal breaker for you, divorce is an option.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Her actions have already proved she's not interested in parenting. What's therapy for?

+1

This would be a dealbreaker for me.

At 33 you can divorce and start again. Wait a few years and it gets much harder.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Her actions have already proved she's not interested in parenting. What's therapy for?

+1

This would be a dealbreaker for me.

At 33 you can divorce and start again. Wait a few years and it gets much harder.

He can divorce, but there are no guarantees he will meet someone else and have kids. I am not saying he should stay with his wife if she truly doesn’t want to have kids (which I’m not convinced is the case), but I think it’s worth OP considering whether he will still be glad he divorced his wife if he never has kids with anyone.

[Anonymous]

I think most woman still want to have children with a decent husband. OP should have no problem finding one of them.

[Anonymous]

Take it to couples therapy and get the truth.

[Anonymous]

I think a common thing people go through prior to having children is that they always think there will be the “right time” to have them.

Like when their jobs get less stressful, or they earn a certain amount of money, etc.
In their minds - they think the “perfect” time is coming any day now.

Yet truth be told, there is never that perfect time frame.
Because life in itself is never perfect.

I say if she doesn’t concede a little by now, than it may be worth it to move on + find a woman who does not harbor excuses for not starting a family.

Wishing you all the best‼️

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like she doesn’t want to lose you because she most likely knows not having children is a dealbreaker for you. Definitely not going to be making any babies if she’s sleeping in the guest room. You know what you need to do yet you still haven’t left. My guess is she’s hot, successful, and you'll stay with her despite not being fulfilled because you don’t think you’ll ever find anyone else like her. Same reason why she keeps you on the hook. She doesn’t want to lose you either.

I’m shocked by the posts inciting OP to divorce his wife just because she doesn’t want children. It’s not 1995 Bosnia people. A woman can choose to not have children. Shake my head at some of the misogyny on this thread. Go read the Handmaids Tale before you condemn a woman for not having kids.

They agreed they were having kids. He wants to be a father. If he can’t be a father with her, he can be with someone else.

“Handmaid’s Tale,” my rear end.

[Anonymous]

Are you ready to be a single dad? Offer her to disappear out of your and your kids life if the family life does not work for her. You can handle out the terms befor having a baby.