He's in a relationship...so what's his intention when he flirts?
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Anonymous
No, actually I just captured exactly what you wrote in a more succinct way. |
Anonymous
Sounds like 50 Shades of Crazy |
Anonymous
Nope! Normal sexuality is what it's called. I am certifiably sane. I will ignore trolls in this thread. If anyone else wants to weigh in on what I should do, or what his intentions are, I'd love to read what you have to say. If you think I'm crazy or an attention seeker, then please no need to join in this thread. |
Anonymous
You’ve already been given several options, so what more do you want? You obviously want his attention and ours. |
Anonymous
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"You obviously want his attention and ours."
What I want is to poll multiple people on what they think so I get the best advice on how to move this forward. |
Anonymous
You were given clear advice, including specific language with 7:39’s post. If anyone is a troll here, it’s you, OP. |
Anonymous
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Anonymous
‘ YOU’VE RECEIVED ADVICE FROM MULTIPLE PEOPLE. ARE YOU REALLY THAT DENSE, or DO YOU JUST NEED A LOT OF ATTENTION? I’M THINKING IT’S THE LATTER. HERE IS A SAMPLING OF THE ADVICE YOU'VE RECEIVED: Creepy! Stay away from and tell him is behavior is extremely inappropriate! His ego needs regular fluffing. Please distance yourself. He’s a weirdo. This is innapropiate for someone who works with you and, of course, for someone in a relationship. He's a hunter. He just wants to see if he can catch you because the hunt gives him a thrill. Propose marriage to him in a crazy way, and he'll leave you alone Obviously he wants some and obviously you enjoy it so he's continuing to do things and escalating. He isn't married, so just get it over with and get it on and see if it is something that has any traction. Men like attention. That's what he's getting out of flirting with you. You mentioned that his behavior is escalating. If I were you, I wouldn’t be alone with him or encourage him in any way. He sounds predatory. If you’re as naive as you seem, he might be ‘grooming’ you. Spelling it out for you: he’s an asshole. Avoid him like the Zika virus. If he persists, tell him to eff off. If that doesn’t work, complain to HR. The longer you leave this, the harder it will be for you, especially if others have noticed this flirting. OP seriously, what is wrong with you? ALL OF HIS BEHAVIOR IS PREDATORY! You sound like a child demanding cookies. His behavior is certainly inappropriate, and OP would clearly see that if she found him unattractive or didn’t want the attention. Basically he’s a scum bag who is in a committed relationship and is testing the waters with you to see if you are receptive. Guy here - geez, he's totally picked up on your attraction towards him. He also knows that since you have not rebuffed his playful advances/flirts = you're game to see where this leads. He's definitely playing the long game with you, slowly reeling you in and by all accounts, you are willingly do that. It's totally up to you, not him, what happens next. He's a flirt who will always require attention and adoration from women, regardless of the woman he is dating/living with/married to ... Inappropriate, creepy and he probably gets an ego boost from it. So OP, you turn the conversation back to his girlfriend if he compliments you to signal, stop the bs, you have a girlfriend. You step away and give the non verbal cues for him to give you space, like he moves over your shoulder, you move your chair so he has space or ask him pull up the chair instead. If you’ve given a non verbal cue that he is not getting, then go direct and say, I need more personal space when I am working, it’s uncomfortable having someone over my shoulder. Basically, treat the situation as you would for a guy you either aren’t attracted to or that you wouldn’t want either him or other people to get the wrong idea about the two of you. OP - unimportant to know his intentions. It's a waste of your time. You need to be looking for a quality man. And he's not it. He's not-man-enough to ask you out definitively, or be genuine. And I'm surprised you are making time for this silliness. So you’ve had 5 pages of answers including he’s a creep, he’s being inappropriate at work, he likes to stroke his ego, he’s a jackass for flirting with someone when he has a girlfriend and he might be Joe Biden. None of those things lead to an amazing relationship, long or short term, with you. So using your adult 34 year old brain, what’s your thinking about what your next step might be? You could just try being an adult...and communicating: “Bob, what’s going on? You’re very flirtatious and touchy with me. I admit that I like the attention a lot. But my understanding is that you have a girlfriend. And we’re at work. So again, what’s going on?” |
Anonymous
| OP, he sounds hot and fun. This will end disastrously. |
Anonymous
+1 We are talking going down with large flames here. If you are this emotionally involved already, what happens when he turns his attentions to someone else? When he starts ignoring you and moves onto the next new person with a clipboard in their lap? You’re not going to like it. |
Anonymous
Is that Joe? |
Anonymous
You’re a little late to the game, PP. Joe Biden reference was already made hours ago on the first page. |
Anonymous
Ok OP I'll work with you here. I think I get you. I'm the poster from 4/4 10:06 You are passive and a bit shy to flirt back but not shutting him down. Seems like he gets you too. You don't want him to stop, that's clear to him (and me). You want him to initiate more than this flirty banter because that turns you on (nothing wrong with this). You're a "good girl", probably raised this way culturally/religiously (that's ok). You're fantasizing about being intimate with him (you have a pulse girl). Your " good girl" values or guilt are questioning his intentions (normal). You won't know what his intentions are unless you ask him if he is still in a relationship. In order for this to happen, you need to have an actual conversation. This probably can't happen at work. Here's options: 1. Ask him to have coffee with you because see #2 2. He's not going to catch the elevator door and come in to passionately kiss you (as hot as this fantasy is) 3. He's probably enjoying the sexual tension that he's building in you (he sees it and it's making him crazy) 4. Play the game better than him. Build up your confidence at home, alone, fantasizing about him and think about that the next time he's teasing you (because that's what he's doing). You know what you need to do in a subtle way to react to his touch or gaze. Breathy voice, touch him back, maybe close your eyes when he touches you. 5. Play him...he'll make that next move if you can hold out longer than him. 6. Most importantly, are you absolutely sure you are DTF only? 7. If so, proceed with 1-6 because the sex will be over the top and he may fall deeply in love with you for beating him at his game. You've got this! Add a little something to the mix, every single time. Look hot, be hot and rock his world. Have fun!!! |
Anonymous
FIFY |
Anonymous
| Did OP really say she’s 34 years old?! And playing along with this BS? I had assumed she was 22. |