He's in a relationship...so what's his intention when he flirts?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did OP really say she’s 34 years old?! And playing along with this BS? I had assumed she was 22.

I’m calling BS on some details!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did OP really say she’s 34 years old?! And playing along with this BS? I had assumed she was 22.

I’m calling BS on some details!

Page 2, post at 7:46
Yes, I'm not going to lie, I am crazy attracted to him. However, I haven't gone out of my way to flirt with him because I am not a particularly flirty person. I'm 34.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He wants to have sex with you. Perhaps on a regular basis.

I guess I’d be okay with that

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Obviously he wants some and obviously you enjoy it so he's continuing to do things and escalating. He isn't married, so just get it over with and get it on and see if it is something that has any traction.

Just bang. Then regroup. I hate it when friends talk about their office crushes... how it’s soo forbidden, hot, dangerous ect. Especially if no kids are involved I encourage them to go for it- mostly so I can stop the awful conversations.

[Anonymous]

Does he act like this around others?
If so - he must be really insecure.

If not - he obviously likes you and is hoping that you do too.

[Anonymous]

But still sounds insecure.

[Anonymous]

You know what OP, go for it. Sleep with him behind his girlfriends back. He can pump and dump.

If for some reason he leaves his girlfriend and starts dating you, then wow, do you really think you can trust him. Next thing that comes along that smiles nicely to him will also be in bed with him.

Either way, going any where near him shows a complete lack of respect for yourself. That's where you should start, working on your self esteem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He wants to have sex with you. Perhaps on a regular basis.

I guess I’d be okay with that

Wow. You have zero self esteem. Hindsight will explain this.


Please want more for yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:...And I'm surprised you are making time for this silliness.

Well, the problem is that he has gotten my attention and I have developed quite a crush on him. So I guess I am wondering where he is coming from and what he is thinking and hoping for when it comes to me.

You’re not the only one.

[Anonymous]

Ok OP I'll work with you here. I think I get you. I'm the poster from 4/4 10:06

You are passive and a bit shy to flirt back but not shutting him down. Seems like he gets you too. You don't want him to stop, that's clear to him (and me). You want him to initiate more than this flirty banter because that turns you on (nothing wrong with this). You're a "good girl", probably raised this way culturally/religiously (that's ok).
You're fantasizing about being intimate with him (you have a pulse girl). Your " good girl" values or guilt are questioning his intentions (normal). You won't know what his intentions are unless you ask him if he is still in a relationship. In order for this to happen, you need to have an actual conversation. This probably can't happen at work. Here's options:

1. Ask him to have coffee with you because see #2
2. He's not going to catch the elevator door and come in to passionately kiss you (as hot as this fantasy is)
3. He's probably enjoying the sexual tension that he's building in you (he sees it and it's making him crazy)
4. Play the game better than him. Build up your confidence at home, alone, fantasizing about him and think about that the next time he's teasing you (because that's what he's doing). You know what you need to do in a subtle way to react to his touch or gaze. Breathy voice, touch him back, maybe close your eyes when he touches you.
5. Play him...he'll make that next move if you can hold out longer than him.
6. Most importantly, are you absolutely sure you are DTF only?
7. If so, proceed with 1-6 because the sex will be over the top and he may fall deeply in love with you for beating him at his game.

You've got this! Add a little something to the mix, every single time. Look hot, be hot and rock his world. Have fun!!!

THANK YOU for the great advice! I feel like you really got where I was coming from. Yes, I was raised to be this way but I guess I have to push through if I want to make my intentions knows. Thanks again, I think you gave great advice.

[Anonymous]

God, I hate guys who give mixed messages like that. It took me a while in my 20s before I figured it out for the complete bullshit that it is. So devious and so manipulative!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I'm not going to lie, I am crazy attracted to him. However, I haven't gone out of my way to flirt with him because I am not a particularly flirty person. I'm 34.

Is he looking for a side piece? What sort of signal is he hoping for? I'm not exactly wise to the ways of the world.

His behavior has been escalating but he hasn't asked for my number or suggested we get together or anything (not saying it would be right just stating the facts).

He might run away once you express interest but even if something happens he will not be available to you. He will flirt with other women in the same way.

OP, you should think about why you're attracted to this guy. Obviously you're attracted to him because he's flirting with you. But I suspect based on what you said that you're also attracted to unavailable men. This guy is an unavailable man. He'll flirt with you to get your attention and stroke his ego but he's not going to be there when you need him. He's a user.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He wants to have sex with you. Perhaps on a regular basis.

Is that pretty much for certain? Because I fantasize about having sex with him ALL of the time. However, I want him to be the aggressor.

I only feel sexy if the man is aggressive and just has to have me. Otherwise I hold back and I feel shy and reserved. But if he is aggressive it just turns me on so much. That's the problem here. I don't know what sign he wants from me but I want some more undeniable signs from him. I do make eyes at him, but because I am shy I'm not sure how obvious I am being.

I wish he would just wait for a private moment, corner me and kiss me! I wish he would grab me and objectify me a bit and order me arund. That would turn me on so much! Not waiting for a green light, but assuming that I want him...because I do.

Maybe it's bad but I love the attention. I hope he is not just playing around and passing the time but really wants me. (Maybe he's broken up with his girlfriend? But I don't want to ask because I don't want to show that much interest)

Oh man, he's working you over good! You're falling for this, hook, line, and sinker.

[Anonymous]

You sound like a dumb and horny 16 year old girl. He’s probably making fun of you behind your back for being so stupid and desperate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:God, I hate guys who give mixed messages like that. It took me a while in my 20s before I figured it out for the complete bullshit that it is. So devious and so manipulative!

Aces. Intrigue!