He's in a relationship...so what's his intention when he flirts?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I’m surprised that you’re so naive at 34, but maybe you’v lead a very sheltered life.

I'm definitely bit sheltered, but more than that, I don't like to assume anything. I'm one of these people you have to spell things out for. I thought he was probably flirting, and probably attracted to me, but this guy is GOOD. Everything thing he does is right on that edge where it is plausibly deniable. Like, pointing at the clipboard. Yes, he was in my personal space but maybe he was just pointing at the text, you know what I mean?

There is nothing direct and specific for me to respond to, and he never says in words what he is thinking, other than saying he enjoys my company and things like that. I suppose I wouldn't want to say something more direct and have him deny that he mean anything all along.

Spelling it out for you: he’s an asshole. Avoid him like the Zika virus. If he persists, tell him to eff off. If that doesn’t work, complain to HR. The longer you leave this, the harder it will be for you, especially if others have noticed this flirting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:His ego needs regular fluffing. Please distance yourself.

+1

Nailed it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I’m surprised that you’re so naive at 34, but maybe you’v lead a very sheltered life.

I'm definitely bit sheltered, but more than that, I don't like to assume anything. I'm one of these people you have to spell things out for. I thought he was probably flirting, and probably attracted to me, but this guy is GOOD. Everything thing he does is right on that edge where it is plausibly deniable. Like, pointing at the clipboard. Yes, he was in my personal space but maybe he was just pointing at the text, you know what I mean?

There is nothing direct and specific for me to respond to, and he never says in words what he is thinking, other than saying he enjoys my company and things like that. I suppose I wouldn't want to say something more direct and have him deny that he mean anything all along.

Spelling it out for you: he’s an asshole. Avoid him like the Zika virus. If he persists, tell him to eff off. If that doesn’t work, complain to HR. The longer you leave this, the harder it will be for you, especially if others have noticed this flirting.

+1

Completely inappropriate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He's a hunter. He just wants to see if he can catch you because the hunt gives him a thrill. Propose marriage to him in a crazy way, and he'll leave you alone.

+1

He will do it to you if he "catches" you, OP.

[Anonymous]

He sounds predatory. If you’re as naive as you seem, he might be ‘grooming’ you.

What are signs he might be predatory? I will keep an eye out for this, but like I said, I am attracted and I like his attention, at least at the moment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

He sounds predatory. If you’re as naive as you seem, he might be ‘grooming’ you.

What are signs he might be predatory? I will keep an eye out for this, but like I said, I am attracted and I like his attention, at least at the moment.

OP seriously, what is wrong with you? ALL OF HIS BEHAVIOR IS PREDATORY! You sound like a child demanding cookies.

[Anonymous]

His behavior is certainly inappropriate, and OP would clearly see that if she found him unattractive or didn’t want the attention. Basically he’s a scum bag who is in a committed relationship and is testing the waters with you to see if you are receptive.

[Anonymous]

How old is the guy? Is the relationship he's in new or years+?

[Anonymous]

He's in his 30s. I don't know much about his relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He's in his 30s. I don't know much about his relationship.

His relationship doesn't even matter. He's being inappropriate TO YOU. I know you are f'ing turned on by his attention, but step back a moment and look at this situation as if your role was filled by a friend of yours. Looks creepy and gross, doesn't it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I'm not going to lie, I am crazy attracted to him. However, I haven't gone out of my way to flirt with him because I am not a particularly flirty person. I'm 34.

Is he looking for a side piece? What sort of signal is he hoping for? I'm not exactly wise to the ways of the world.

His behavior has been escalating but he hasn't asked for my number or suggested we get together or anything (not saying it would be right just stating the facts).

You may say you're innocent, however, I find it hard to believe this guy would be so blatantly inappropriate if he wasn't getting a vibe from you. If your being coy about it without correcting his behavior or physically distancing yourself when he does this, then that's the vibe you're giving him...you're receptive to his advances. Own it. No need to flirt if it's not your thing, just tell him you're DTF and go for it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Creepy! Stay away from and tell him is behavior is extremely inappropriate!

Agree. And it's cheating on his gf.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I'm not going to lie, I am crazy attracted to him. However, I haven't gone out of my way to flirt with him because I am not a particularly flirty person. I'm 34.

Is he looking for a side piece? What sort of signal is he hoping for? I'm not exactly wise to the ways of the world.

His behavior has been escalating but he hasn't asked for my number or suggested we get together or anything (not saying it would be right just stating the facts).

Guy here - geez, he's totally picked up on your attraction towards him. He also knows that since you have not rebuffed his playful advances/flirts = you're game to see where this leads. He's definitely playing the long game with you, slowly reeling you in and by all accounts, you are willingly do that.

It's totally up to you, not him, what happens next.

[Anonymous]

He’s not married. Go for it. Sounds like a great FWB. Just use protection and don’t expect any commitment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve never heard of “elevator eyes.” Off to google it.

Report back.