He's in a relationship...so what's his intention when he flirts?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Ok OP I'll work with you here. I think I get you. I'm the poster from 4/4 10:06

You are passive and a bit shy to flirt back but not shutting him down. Seems like he gets you too. You don't want him to stop, that's clear to him (and me). You want him to initiate more than this flirty banter because that turns you on (nothing wrong with this). You're a "good girl", probably raised this way culturally/religiously (that's ok).
You're fantasizing about being intimate with him (you have a pulse girl). Your " good girl" values or guilt are questioning his intentions (normal). You won't know what his intentions are unless you ask him if he is still in a relationship. In order for this to happen, you need to have an actual conversation. This probably can't happen at work. Here's options:

1. Ask him to have coffee with you because see #2
2. He's not going to catch the elevator door and come in to passionately kiss you (as hot as this fantasy is)
3. He's probably enjoying the sexual tension that he's building in you (he sees it and it's making him crazy)
4. Play the game better than him. Build up your confidence at home, alone, fantasizing about him and think about that the next time he's teasing you (because that's what he's doing). You know what you need to do in a subtle way to react to his touch or gaze. Breathy voice, touch him back, maybe close your eyes when he touches you.
5. Play him...he'll make that next move if you can hold out longer than him.
6. Most importantly, are you absolutely sure you are DTF only?
7. If so, proceed with 1-6 because the sex will be over the top and he may fall deeply in love with you for beating him at his game.

You've got this! Add a little something to the mix, every single time. Look hot, be hot and rock his world. Have fun!!!

THANK YOU for the great advice! I feel like you really got where I was coming from. Yes, I was raised to be this way but I guess I have to push through if I want to make my intentions knows. Thanks again, I think you gave great advice.

Girl. Get some confidence. Not for this stupid scenario or lame ass office predator, but someone that can show interest in a healthy and real way. You want to believe he’s into you, he’s not. You are definitely being made fun of to his buddies at happy hour.

[Anonymous]

You are seeing stuff that isn’t there. Being shy makes dating challenging, but the dude is playing you. Effortlessly. Solely to his own advantage. You will be tossed aside, maybe for the person at the desk next to you.

[Anonymous]

Op, if you really want to bang a creepy co-worker who is dating someone else, go right ahead. You don't need anyone's permission.

The aftermath will make a good thread too.

[Anonymous]

OP it's 04/08/2019 10:20 that your replied to. The other posters need to unclench. It's very clear what you want to do with this guy...so allow yourself to do it! As I already said, do not commit to steps 1-7 if you can't emotionally handle the aftermath. Have no expectations, squelch all neediness (except what you want him to do for you). No expectations for after sex text. Plan to go into it for the amazing fantasy (which is the only vibe I got from your "just want him to be the aggressor and take me" post).

Protect your heart, let go of your inhibitions and get to it (safely). This guy would not be giving you this kind of attention if you weren't beautiful. He may chase you later with other intentions, assuming he's not married or otherwise committed. Find the right moment and ask. If not, then right after a passionate first kiss, ask him! If he admits to a gf, gently kiss him and tell him, "that's too bad, it would have been incredible". And, don't look back.....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP it's 04/08/2019 10:20 that your replied to. The other posters need to unclench. It's very clear what you want to do with this guy...so allow yourself to do it! As I already said, do not commit to steps 1-7 if you can't emotionally handle the aftermath. Have no expectations, squelch all neediness (except what you want him to do for you). No expectations for after sex text. Plan to go into it for the amazing fantasy (which is the only vibe I got from your "just want him to be the aggressor and take me" post).

Protect your heart, let go of your inhibitions and get to it (safely). This guy would not be giving you this kind of attention if you weren't beautiful. He may chase you later with other intentions, assuming he's not married or otherwise committed. Find the right moment and ask. If not, then right after a passionate first kiss, ask him! If he admits to a gf, gently kiss him and tell him, "that's too bad, it would have been incredible". And, don't look back.....

That is hot. What would you advise if he was married?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:His ego needs regular fluffing. Please distance yourself.

This. He’s insecure.

[Anonymous]

bump

[Anonymous]

Stay away OP. I was in this exact same situation with a guy friend in grad school. I mean, you could have cut the sexual tension with a knife. He did eventually break up with his girlfriend, and when he did, I was his first call. I was so on love with him and I had wanted him for so long that I immediately gave in. We had sex a couple of times and it was great, but after he had “had” me, he couldn’t have been more done with me. He was as cold as ice to me, wouldn’t talk to me and treated me like a one night stand he picked up in a bar rather than someone he had been friends with. Then, after I confronted him about his awful treatment of me, he lost his shit and talked trash about me to our other friends. The guy you are describing sounds exactly like him, and you will end up heartbroken when he either goes back to his girlfriend or drops you for his next conquest. Reading between the lines I can tell that you have real feelings for him and that a one time hook up will not be satisfactory to you. So please protect your heart and move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP it's 04/08/2019 10:20 that your replied to. The other posters need to unclench. It's very clear what you want to do with this guy...so allow yourself to do it! As I already said, do not commit to steps 1-7 if you can't emotionally handle the aftermath. Have no expectations, squelch all neediness (except what you want him to do for you). No expectations for after sex text. Plan to go into it for the amazing fantasy (which is the only vibe I got from your "just want him to be the aggressor and take me" post)
Protect your heart, let go of your inhibitions and get to it (safely). This guy would not be giving you this kind of attention if you weren't beautiful. He may chase you later with other intentions, assuming he's not married or otherwise committed. Find the right moment and ask. If not, then right after a passionate first kiss, ask him! If he admits to a gf, gently kiss him and tell him, "that's too bad, it would have been incredible". And, don't look back.....

Are you a sociopath? This girl is not equipped to do any of that. Even if/when she sleeps with this guy she’s toast, and it will scar.

[Anonymous]

OP, hate to tell you, this guy is only grooming his ego. Find someone who isn't taken. Is there a reason why you can not do that?