Breaking up after she was a drunken embarrassment at a wedding?

[Anonymous]

Plenty of choices. Find a more suitable choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm glad I come from a WASP family. If someone gets too drunk everyone does their best to kind of look away and brush over it. Unless it was a pattern I wouldn't really care. Sometimes you just drink too much and get too wild. Oh well.

I agree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Meh, we've all been there. Give her benefit of doubt if everything else is going well. weddings are emotional.

I assume her entire extended family assumes she cheats on me, no?

No, they'll assume she was wasted drunk - that's all. If everything else in your relationship is good, it seems extreme to break up with her over this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's dating. That's what dating is for. You learn about the other person. No reason you need to choose this person as your favorite, your best match.

Her parents think or hope I'm proposing soon.

I'm sure they'll get over their disappointment quickly when they find out your reasoning for breaking up with her was she got drunk once.

+1. You don't sound like the kind of person who is cut out for marriage, honestly. Life is long and no one is perfect; and in the grand scheme one drunken fool night is pretttty darn harmless.

+2. Marriage is a long road and both parties will INEVITABLY f*ck up many times. It may not be getting sloppy drunk at a wedding but sooner or later, you'll show your @ss. If you're going to cut and run the first time your partner screws up, don't get married ever.

+3. She got drunk and embarrassed herself. She didn't cheat on you or lie or hurt others. AND she apologized. In a serious adult relationship, that is called No Big Deal

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm glad I come from a WASP family. If someone gets too drunk everyone does their best to kind of look away and brush over it. Unless it was a pattern I wouldn't really care. Sometimes you just drink too much and get too wild. Oh well.

I agree.

+1

Honestly what you've described sounds like an average family gathering for us. And we are a very classy bunch- but we like to drink. If you can't hang though- then cut her loose now, OP- let her find someone who can. Cause you sound like a stick in the mud

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thank goodness it was her family. What do they think? Is this par for the course?

Anyway, I would not pursue this relationship.

Amazing family. All of them love me, except for brother (something she denies).

Brother's wedding breaks up his sister's relationship, then his best friend really moves in, and he and the sister end up marrying each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thank goodness it was her family. What do they think? Is this par for the course?

Anyway, I would not pursue this relationship.

Amazing family. All of them love me, except for brother (something she denies).

Brother's wedding breaks up his sister's relationship, then his best friend really moves in, and he and the sister end up marrying each other.

Amazing scheme on the part of the brother. Well done, man! Executed flawless.

Sorry, OP- you have now become a side plot in a rom com.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, you are allowed a preference. That's what dating is for. You owe no one a reason.

This is true. I think OP is more concerned about being embarrassed but the real concern is her blacking out/not remembering. I'd put a pause on it at least. We've all done stupid things but they still have consequences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Immediate dump.

Am I wrong for thinking all blowback will be either:

"He broke up with me for being drunk at my only sibling's wedding."
= I'm a control freak.

or

"He broke up with me for DANCING with my brother's best friend I've known for years."
= I'm an insecure control freak.

OP is this you? You care FAR too much about what other people think about you. Go ahead and break up with her -- it's your right -- but do some thinking about how to get more comfortable in your own skin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's dating. That's what dating is for. You learn about the other person. No reason you need to choose this person as your favorite, your best match.

Her parents think or hope I'm proposing soon.

I'm sure they'll get over their disappointment quickly when they find out your reasoning for breaking up with her was she got drunk once.

+1. You don't sound like the kind of person who is cut out for marriage, honestly. Life is long and no one is perfect; and in the grand scheme one drunken fool night is pretttty darn harmless.

+2. Marriage is a long road and both parties will INEVITABLY f*ck up many times. It may not be getting sloppy drunk at a wedding but sooner or later, you'll show your @ss. If you're going to cut and run the first time your partner screws up, don't get married ever.

+3. She got drunk and embarrassed herself. She didn't cheat on you or lie or hurt others. AND she apologized. In a serious adult relationship, that is called No Big Deal

If she got drunk and grabbed the mic and professed her undying love for her brothers friend, and then took off her dress and jumped in the fountain, yes, break up. Getting drunk and grinding on a groomsman? And you're thinking of dumping her for THAT?? Do her a favor and move on. You'll be single forever if you never allow anyone to make a minor mistake.

At 27 I was drunk a lot and it was awesome.

[Anonymous]

Meh, I'm going to support OP here. At 20, sure. But by 27, the women who were getting black out drunk and crying (and btw, the crying for me is the big kicked -- not the grinding) were a whole lot of disaster. We were all drinking and partying a lot at 27 still, but there were only one or two people who still periodically got problematically drunk, and at 45 they are all still disasters. Heavy drinkers, cheaters, divorced, can't hold a good job. It's one thing to get accidentally way too drunk at 27. It's another thing to be the black out drunk crying girl at 27. Two totally different categories.

It is also a huge red flag to me that you're so lukewarm about this girl that you are considering breaking up with her based on this one event (which, incidentally, i think you should do) but her parents are at the point where they think you're about to propose. And your girlfriend is clearly not feeling stable with you or she wouldn't be getting blackout crying drunk. I have known many relationships that evolved into marriage with these exact facts (gf is sort of into guy but REALLY into the idea of marriage; parents are pushing marriage 6 months into relationship because ANY guy with good job and pedigree will do; guy is ready for marriage but isn't head over heels for this particular girl). They are shitty marriages 20 years later.

In sum, if this relationship was meant to be: (1) she wouldn't have been so down on her life that she got black out drunk crying; and (2) you wouldn't be questioning breaking up with her.

It's a circular issue: You are kind of a jerk for wanting to break up with her for getting drunk once. But she's kind of a bad match for you if she's in a mental place where she's getting drunk like that.

[Anonymous]

Break up with her.

Not because of the behavior itself, but how you are reacting to it. If it's bothering you this much then, yes, you should break up with her because either a) you aren't compatible b) you want to break up with her for some other reason and you're conflating this into the excuse.

[Anonymous]

The grinding would be the deal breaker for me. I'm 40. I can't remember the last time I was blackout drunk, but I have been so drunk I puked a couple times since my college years. I can't say it happened, but I could see myself getting overly emotional at a family event. Wouldn't take much though. I would actually be inclined to say to cut her a break, keeping in the back of your mind that this is a "no second chance" type of thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm glad I come from a WASP family. If someone gets too drunk everyone does their best to kind of look away and brush over it. Unless it was a pattern I wouldn't really care. Sometimes you just drink too much and get too wild. Oh well.

I agree.

+1

Honestly what you've described sounds like an average family gathering for us. And we are a very classy bunch- but we like to drink. If you can't hang though- then cut her loose now, OP- let her find someone who can. Cause you sound like a stick in the mud

FYI, you are NOT a very classy bunch if that is what your average family gathering is like.

[Anonymous]

You obviously think you're better than her and are repulsed by her behavior. Just break it off . This is just the final straw, sounds like you didn't really like her anyway