Breaking up after she was a drunken embarrassment at a wedding?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At 27 she's old enough to know better. It's hard to say unless you're the one in the situation but I'd probably leave.

I agree.

And I say that as someone who, at 27, would probably have done what the girlfriend did, gotten wicked drunk at the wedding, tried to play it off as no biggie, then tearfully apologized about it. I look back on the behavior now and realize how unhealthy and embarrassing it was and how depressed I was.

[Anonymous]

Dump. How would you feel if you were married and your wife got blackout drunk and was grinding another man in public?

She's 27 and should be way past this type of behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Meh, we've all been there. Give her benefit of doubt if everything else is going well. weddings are emotional.

I assume her entire extended family assumes she cheats on me, no?

You seem way more concerned with how you are perceived. Seems to me you view your girlfriend less as an individual, and more as, "how can this person make me look good"? On that basis alone you should break up with her because you have issues with women and hopefully she can find someone who values her for more than that.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Meh, we've all been there. Give her benefit of doubt if everything else is going well. weddings are emotional.

No. No, we haven't "all" been there. In my entire life, on BOTH sides of my VERY large family, only ONCE did someone get drunk. All the uncles pulled together and escorted him out of the bat mitzvah and the aunts comforted his crying wife in the bathroom, before having her drive the drunk guy home. That's FOUR DECADES.

Not everyone gets sloppy or drunk.

Yes they do, just not around you.

Yep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Immediate dump.

Am I wrong for thinking all blowback will be either:

"He broke up with me for being drunk at my only sibling's wedding."
= I'm a control freak.

or

"He broke up with me for DANCING with my brother's best friend I've known for years."
= I'm an insecure control freak.

[Anonymous]

If you sont like this break up with her. It doesnt matter what we think we dont have to date her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She sounds like fun. If you break up with her send me her number.

Seriously

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How did her family members react? Were her parents embarrassed?

Yes, her parents are teetotalers.

Ohhh, total red flag. Her parents are probably teetotalers because the grandparents are drunks. It's only a guess but this increases the likelihood that she's an addict of some sort. You want to know that her close family members can drink normally - not that they don't drink at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Meh, we've all been there. Give her benefit of doubt if everything else is going well. weddings are emotional.

No I've never gotten black out drunk and humped someone ever, nevermind at a sibling's wedding.

This person is damn near 30 way past the time for this kind of behavior to be ignored.

Dump her OP!

I guess you never went to college.

What a bunch of nerds.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP you sound super judgmental, and for that reason you should dump her. But also stop to consider whether being judgmental about your girlfriends' foibles is a pattern with you. Yes, getting sloppy drunk at a wedding can be embarassing .... but also totally common! Your reaction of being embarrassed is not the only possible reaction. Some boyfriends would have been:

a) amused, and joked with her about it later
b) drunk too and joined in with the fun
c) protective, and tried to get her to drink some water so she didn't over do it
d) worried, if she genuinely had an alcohol problem.

But you instead are supercilious and embarrassed. That says a LOT more about you than her.

Of course, maybe she does have a drinking problem -- that is a whole separate issue. But I don't see anything in your email that evinces concern that she has a drinking problem, just embarrassment. Which is yours to own. I had a boyfriend with a drinking problem once, and the one night I saw him lose control I was worried out of my mind for him. Embarrassment was not what I felt, at all.

or option (e) understanding, that it was a one off and emotional day, and she was probably already embarrassed and there's no need to pile on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Meh, we've all been there. Give her benefit of doubt if everything else is going well. weddings are emotional.

+1

+2

[Anonymous]

Being drunk is no excuse to grind on another man in public.

If she cannot control herself while inebriated than she had no business drinking.

Period.

I would break up w/her based on her humiliating me in public plus her irrelevant behavior.

[Anonymous]

If this is the only time she's ever gotten drunk I'd cut her some slack but let her know how I'd felt. Weddings can get crazy and its very easy for a light drinker to get caught up in all the toasts and celebrating. The groomsman is a pig but so be it. Once she was smashed or getting smashed why didn't you step in and get her out of there? You should have stepped in at some point.

If it's happened before I'd move on.

[Anonymous]

*irresponsible

[Anonymous]

Did you start dating in the last few months? Does this make you wonder if she just dated you bc she needed a date for her brother's wedding? I can't imagine dancing like that with another man when I had a date I genuinely liked with me.