Weigh in on this parenting diagreement

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So many cold selfish parents out there.

So many over coddling parents out there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many cold selfish parents out there.

So many over coddling parents out there.

And you wonder why your kids will end up in therapy and throw you in a nursing home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think that you have to consider how you would like to be treated and treat your children that way.

So many times people act like tweens and teens are from a different planet. If it were you being dropped off so early would you like it? When you are in the nursing home, will you mind waiting in the foyer to be picked up (in your wheelchair) for over 2 hours to suit someone else?

What exactly is it that you husband is trying to teach your son? That he better get used to getting the short stick in the family? I just don't get these other parent's comments.

.

THANK YOU!!!!
That's how I view it, I would hate to wait around like that.

He's trying to teach his son that the world doesn't revolve around him.

We as parents are not really doing them a favor by being "considerate" all the time. I put "considerate" in quotes because there is a line between being "considerate" and spoiling your kids, or treating them like they are fragile and can't have any hardships in their lives. We are constantly removing any tiny hardships that comes across their paths. It's making these kids not able to handle any inconvenience, small or large.

I tell my kids I won't drive them to school even though it's really close by, that they can take the school bus, even though that takes longer because 1. why add to the congestion around here 2. why use gas when I don't need to 3. every time we get in the car we add to the air pollution

In the grand scheme of things, this isn't a huge issue, and that's probably why OP's husband doesn't care one way or the other. But, I think we are catering to our kids too much sometimes.

Actually, this is a new method of parenting that's used in conjunction with helicopter parenting and even more damaging. It's called Snowplow parenting. You plow the road in front of your kids so they never encounter any obstacles or challenges -- you just smooth everything out and make their lives as easy as possible.

Then you wonder why they fail as adults and crumple at the first sign of resistance. Because they never learned how to deal with any hardship, even one as small as being mildly inconvenienced for a year by having to go to school early and play computer games there instead of at home. Gasp, I don't know how any mother would ever subject their child to such cruelty!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many cold selfish parents out there.

So many over coddling parents out there.

And you wonder why your kids will end up in therapy and throw you in a nursing home.

At least my kid's not going to commit suicide when he goes off to college and isn't coddled and has a mental breakdown. So, you know, having an alive kid is not so bad even if I'm in an old folks' home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many cold selfish parents out there.

So many over coddling parents out there.

And you wonder why your kids will end up in therapy and throw you in a nursing home.

At least my kid's not going to commit suicide when he goes off to college and isn't coddled and has a mental breakdown. So, you know, having an alive kid is not so bad even if I'm in an old folks' home.

This thread took a really weird turn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many cold selfish parents out there.

So many over coddling parents out there.

And you wonder why your kids will end up in therapy and throw you in a nursing home.

At least my kid's not going to commit suicide when he goes off to college and isn't coddled and has a mental breakdown. So, you know, having an alive kid is not so bad even if I'm in an old folks' home.

Your kid will commit suicide because his mom treats him like he doesn't matter, at least my kid knows he is loved and I will do anything for him.
You are a very disgusting person.
Ask yourself why you are so upset that I prioitize my kid.

[Anonymous]

*prioritize

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many cold selfish parents out there.

So many over coddling parents out there.

And you wonder why your kids will end up in therapy and throw you in a nursing home.

You're teaching your kids that the world revolves around them. Do you honestly think they're going to lift a finger to help you when you're finally unable to wipe their butts for them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many cold selfish parents out there.

So many over coddling parents out there.

And you wonder why your kids will end up in therapy and throw you in a nursing home.

At least my kid's not going to commit suicide when he goes off to college and isn't coddled and has a mental breakdown. So, you know, having an alive kid is not so bad even if I'm in an old folks' home.

Your kid will commit suicide because his mom treats him like he doesn't matter, at least my kid knows he is loved and I will do anything for him.
You are a very disgusting person.
Ask yourself why you are so upset that I prioitize my kid.

what the fuck is wrong with you people? the op asked a simple question about a carpool and you guys need to turn it into your children killing themselves?

[Anonymous]

Team Dad.

My kids have sports and if one has practice and the other doesn't... they both get picked up at the same time.

Same for games, away games, sometimes I don't get them until 8pm, if I can't go to the game.

Even in middle school they got out at 3 and i picked them up at 4, they played Basketball, read, did homework.

When I am older I will not expect my kids to waste 15 hours of their life every week driving me around. I will take UBER, a cab, etc. I will hire a home nurse, I will NOT be a burden to my kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many cold selfish parents out there.

So many over coddling parents out there.

And you wonder why your kids will end up in therapy and throw you in a nursing home.

PP, if you think that over coddling your teen kids will mean that they will love you more and take care of you in your old age, you are sadly mistaken. Or perhaps you are wanting to keep that leash on your child close even into adulthood so that they will always be dependent on mommy and daddy.

If you think that making your 17 yr old boy spend a couple of hours a day in a private school, where I'm assuming is very nice, has a soda and snack machine, maybe even lounge chairs, and in a nice area where he can walk around, or do HW in a very nice library, is cold parenting .. then you need some serious therapy or parenting classes.

If this was a not so great public school, in a sketchy area, I might agree with OP. But, I am assuming, since this is a private school, the digs are super nice. I don't feel sorry for him for having to spend a couple of hours in there doing HW (which needs to be done anyways), snacking, playing on the computer/smartphone, maybe hanging out with other kids. It's much better for kids to spend time where there are peers around, rather than at home with mommy.

I think moms do tend to coddle their kids more than dads, hence the differing opinions by OP and her DH. Does OP think her DH is cold and selfish for thinking their 17 yr old DS will be fine spending a couple of hours at his private school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many cold selfish parents out there.

So many over coddling parents out there.

And you wonder why your kids will end up in therapy and throw you in a nursing home.

PP, if you think that over coddling your teen kids will mean that they will love you more and take care of you in your old age, you are sadly mistaken. Or perhaps you are wanting to keep that leash on your child close even into adulthood so that they will always be dependent on mommy and daddy.

If you think that making your 17 yr old boy spend a couple of hours a day in a private school, where I'm assuming is very nice, has a soda and snack machine, maybe even lounge chairs, and in a nice area where he can walk around, or do HW in a very nice library, is cold parenting .. then you need some serious therapy or parenting classes.

If this was a not so great public school, in a sketchy area, I might agree with OP. But, I am assuming, since this is a private school, the digs are super nice. I don't feel sorry for him for having to spend a couple of hours in there doing HW (which needs to be done anyways), snacking, playing on the computer/smartphone, maybe hanging out with other kids. It's much better for kids to spend time where there are peers around, rather than at home with mommy.

I think moms do tend to coddle their kids more than dads, hence the differing opinions by OP and her DH. Does OP think her DH is cold and selfish for thinking their 17 yr old DS will be fine spending a couple of hours at his private school?

He just turned 16. Yes, I do think dh is being cold and selfish. Uncharacteristically so.

[Anonymous]

I'm assuming everyone who thinks the 16 year old should wait would be perfectly content being dropped off at work 2 hours early (or late!) and occupying yourself? Any lesson he is learning is one we should have already learned, so no problem, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm assuming everyone who thinks the 16 year old should wait would be perfectly content being dropped off at work 2 hours early (or late!) and occupying yourself? Any lesson he is learning is one we should have already learned, so no problem, right?

The needs of the parents is the only thing that matters to this bunch.

[Anonymous]

You know there are elementary school kids who go to before care and are at school for more than hour before it starts.
Wow -- you are tripping over a 16 yr. old trying to figure out what to do with 2 hours of his day?
This cannot be real!