Weigh in on this parenting diagreement

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get the 16-year-old a driver's license and a car and let him take care of himself.

Both of you are trying to helicopter and micromanage his life, and he's old enough to start contributing and controlling some aspects of his own life.

Driving would not address this issue. There is graduated licensing where i live and you need a licensed adult with you for the first year and cant drive on highways. He would need to take the highway. Also, my sister is paying several thousands to add her teen onto car insurance.

So it's too hard to have him be independent, so you'll keep doing this for him? Good insight into what's going wrong with younger generations.

(And if you don't live in the DC region, why don't you post on a forum where people know your state's draconian laws?)

I never asked people to weigh in on driving options. I asked where people stood on separate drop offs.
This has nothing to do with teen driving.
His schedule wont always be like this.

No wonder you can't resolve this issue with your DH. You're not bright enough to understand there are more than two options here, and that neither of the two options you are considering are very good. Your idea is the worst of all, however.

Lol, I never said I cant resolve it. We just had differing opinions. That's what makes our marriage of 22 years so strong.

Yeah, "LOL" you're such an inspiration to all the dimwitted helicopter moms out there in flyover country.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is there no public transport? The 16 year old can easily take the metro or bus.

I looked into that. He would have to take a bus from our home to the train station. Then take the train to that city. Then take the bus from the train station to school.
As he would have to wait for buses/ train, he wouldn't save much time.

Obviously i looked into all these alternatives and narrowed it down to the situation in the OP.

Exactly how far is this school from your home? It sounds like a monstrous waste of gas for you to basically follow your DH into the city and return home just so your kid doesn't have to wake up before 10.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1. Carpool with another family in the school and trade off days.
2. He rides with an older friend who already has a license.
3. He gets a license and starts driving himself at some point in the year so he's only there early for a while.
4. Use Uber, Sidecar, etc.
5. Trade off with DH so you take him sometimes and he takes him sometimes.

#3 would be a huge expense too for a short term scheduling conflict.
I looked into a taxi, was hugely expensive.
#5 wont work as dh is already dropping our other child off earlier then heading to work. His job is not as flexible.

Some of the other ideas I could look into but we are in the next city over and most others are not. Also, most kids have a different schedule, though not all kids.

It's a small school.

[Anonymous]

I'm also team DH. My senior yr I had no classes until 10 but the last commuter bus near my high school was at 8. The alternative was a 7 mile hike. It taught me how to manage "free" blocks of time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are a helicopter parent.

Two drop offs? Wow.

Driving your kid to school makes you a helicopter parent? I don't think so.

Driving your kid separately so he doesn't have to spend a bit of extra time at school because "OH NO" he is to special and needs to be home with mommy.

Yeah, helicopter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is there no public transport? The 16 year old can easily take the metro or bus.

I looked into that. He would have to take a bus from our home to the train station. Then take the train to that city. Then take the bus from the train station to school.
As he would have to wait for buses/ train, he wouldn't save much time.

Obviously i looked into all these alternatives and narrowed it down to the situation in the OP.

Exactly how far is this school from your home? It sounds like a monstrous waste of gas for you to basically follow your DH into the city and return home just so your kid doesn't have to wake up before 10.

15 miles

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are a helicopter parent.

Two drop offs? Wow.

Driving your kid to school makes you a helicopter parent? I don't think so.

Driving your kid separately so he doesn't have to spend a bit of extra time at school because "OH NO" he is to special and needs to be home with mommy.

Yeah, helicopter.

15 hours a week is not a "bit" of time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are a helicopter parent.

Two drop offs? Wow.

Driving your kid to school makes you a helicopter parent? I don't think so.

Driving your kid separately so he doesn't have to spend a bit of extra time at school because "OH NO" he is to special and needs to be home with mommy.

Yeah, helicopter.

+1

Let him learn how to manage his time. If he's 16, he'll be in college in 2 years (3 if you redshirted him, which you probably did) and he will need to know this crucial skill.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are a helicopter parent.

Two drop offs? Wow.

Driving your kid to school makes you a helicopter parent? I don't think so.

Driving your kid separately so he doesn't have to spend a bit of extra time at school because "OH NO" he is to special and needs to be home with mommy.

Yeah, helicopter.

15 hours a week is not a "bit" of time.

You're right. It's the perfect amount of time for him to work on homework and school work in a quiet environment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are a helicopter parent.

Two drop offs? Wow.

Driving your kid to school makes you a helicopter parent? I don't think so.

Driving your kid separately so he doesn't have to spend a bit of extra time at school because "OH NO" he is to special and needs to be home with mommy.

Yeah, helicopter.

You sound bitter and angry. Jealous your job is not flexible? Or that you don't prioitize your children?

[Anonymous]

I would explain it to my child that this is part of going to a private school with small class sizes and schedules that allow going in later in the day (explaining how the local public high school would involve taking the bus and arriving at 730 am with classes all day, or whatever the local school does)

And have him begin to manage his time as a way of progressing him towards the ultimate goal of said private school and my parenting in general, which is college and an independent functioning adult.

I would frame it as Step 1 into becoming an adult: figure out what to do productively for a couple hours in the morning on a school campus.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are a helicopter parent.

Two drop offs? Wow.

Driving your kid to school makes you a helicopter parent? I don't think so.

Driving your kid separately so he doesn't have to spend a bit of extra time at school because "OH NO" he is to special and needs to be home with mommy.

Yeah, helicopter.

+1

Let him learn how to manage his time. If he's 16, he'll be in college in 2 years (3 if you redshirted him, which you probably did) and he will need to know this crucial skill.

Nope, he just turned 16 at the end of August. We don't redshirt here.

[Anonymous]

I think that you have to consider how you would like to be treated and treat your children that way.

So many times people act like tweens and teens are from a different planet. If it were you being dropped off so early would you like it? When you are in the nursing home, will you mind waiting in the foyer to be picked up (in your wheelchair) for over 2 hours to suit someone else?

What exactly is it that you husband is trying to teach your son? That he better get used to getting the short stick in the family? I just don't get these other parent's comments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would explain it to my child that this is part of going to a private school with small class sizes and schedules that allow going in later in the day (explaining how the local public high school would involve taking the bus and arriving at 730 am with classes all day, or whatever the local school does)

And have him begin to manage his time as a way of progressing him towards the ultimate goal of said private school and my parenting in general, which is college and an independent functioning adult.

I would frame it as Step 1 into becoming an adult: figure out what to do productively for a couple hours in the morning on a school campus.

You are right. My son has not expressed any problem with it besides a bit of an eyeroll about it. He is not complaining at all. It's me who thinks it's ridiculous to wait around so long.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think that you have to consider how you would like to be treated and treat your children that way.

So many times people act like tweens and teens are from a different planet. If it were you being dropped off so early would you like it? When you are in the nursing home, will you mind waiting in the foyer to be picked up (in your wheelchair) for over 2 hours to suit someone else?

What exactly is it that you husband is trying to teach your son? That he better get used to getting the short stick in the family? I just don't get these other parent's comments.

.

THANK YOU!!!!
That's how I view it, I would hate to wait around like that.