Weigh in on this parenting diagreement

[Anonymous]

I make my kid in HS take public transportation. He is normally 30 minutes early to school. Also no work on my part.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I make my kid in HS take public transportation. He is normally 30 minutes early to school. Also no work on my part.

Dumbest post.
How does this help OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Husband and I have differing opinions, please weigh in.

Background:

I have two teen boys in high school. Dh does the morning drop offs. I do the pickups. There is no busing as they go to school in the next town, private school. The kid's schedules do not mesh with each other this term. School starts at 8:40 for the one and at 1100 for the other? Dh drops off at 8:15 or 8:30, so he can get to work. Assuming no traffic, it is a 22 min drive each way. My 16 year old does not have class untill 1100. Dh wants to drop him off at the usual time and have ds do school work daily before class.
That is 2.5-2.75 hours a day he will be stuck at school.

I work a very flexible part time job. I could drop older ds off for 1100. Dh thinks i am crazy to waste 45 min a day doing this. I though of maybe doing this 2-3 days a week. Dh says he would have had to wait at school when he was a kid and he shouldnt cater to the kids.

Note, he is okay with whatever i decide to do. I just think he is being a jerk. He thinks I'm too soft. But why make my teen's life harder?
Please weigh in.

I agree with you. He's being a jerk.

Also, he's showing very poor foresight. Don't teach kids of any age that it's a good thing to make people's life harder - they'll learn and you know, your husband will get old. Why twist yourself into a pretzel and incour into expenses to provide top-notch care when so-so care will keep the old man alive and it's not outright abusive?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would be on team DH, but your DH shouldn't decide how you spend (waste) your time, so if you are free to drive your son, go for it.

How did your son manage that schedule?

Amen to the bolded.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are a helicopter parent.

Two drop offs? Wow.

Driving your kid to school makes you a helicopter parent? I don't think so.

Of course it doesn't. Ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would think he could easily use those two morning hours to finish homework and study for tests. If you drive him, those hours will be spent in bed.

Not necessarily. And if they are, it's a sign his body needs the rest.

Also, the flip coin of your reasoning is that the 2 morning hours might be spent falling in with a bad crowd at school. I would not want to risk that. Call me a helicopter parent if you wish, I don't care in the least.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No strict parent would even contemplate driving a kid 45 minutes to school just so he doesn't have to figure out how to spend 2 hours in the morning.

You want to be the cool one.

Op here, how is this for strict, *I* am the big bad mom who isn't letting him get his driver's license because among other reasons, 16 is too young. LOL, yes I want to be the cool mom. Ha ha.

This and you driving 1.5 hours for eyebrow waxing changes my opinion.

Not letting him get a drivers license is infantilizing him unless there is some established reason. And, the license and car could solve this whole problem also. That you have enough free time for 1.5 hours on eyebrow waxing makes me think that the reason driving midday isn't a problem for you is because you've got nothing going on in your life. I could drive my kid midday, but it would mean an interruption from this or a postponement of that, whereas for you it seems like the entire day is empty, leaving you plenty of time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No strict parent would even contemplate driving a kid 45 minutes to school just so he doesn't have to figure out how to spend 2 hours in the morning.

You want to be the cool one.

Op here, how is this for strict, *I* am the big bad mom who isn't letting him get his driver's license because among other reasons, 16 is too young. LOL, yes I want to be the cool mom. Ha ha.

This and you driving 1.5 hours for eyebrow waxing changes my opinion.

Not letting him get a drivers license is infantilizing him unless there is some established reason. And, the license and car could solve this whole problem also. That you have enough free time for 1.5 hours on eyebrow waxing makes me think that the reason driving midday isn't a problem for you is because you've got nothing going on in your life. I could drive my kid midday, but it would mean an interruption from this or a postponement of that, whereas for you it seems like the entire day is empty, leaving you plenty of time.

depends which post you go by. she may just be able to "squeeze it in."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would think he could easily use those two morning hours to finish homework and study for tests. If you drive him, those hours will be spent in bed.

Not necessarily. And if they are, it's a sign his body needs the rest.

Also, the flip coin of your reasoning is that the 2 morning hours might be spent falling in with a bad crowd at school. I would not want to risk that. Call me a helicopter parent if you wish, I don't care in the least.

yes, because the "bad crowd" likes to get up early and hang out on the school campus surrounded by teachers and administrators. good call.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think that you have to consider how you would like to be treated and treat your children that way.

So many times people act like tweens and teens are from a different planet. If it were you being dropped off so early would you like it? When you are in the nursing home, will you mind waiting in the foyer to be picked up (in your wheelchair) for over 2 hours to suit someone else?

What exactly is it that you husband is trying to teach your son? That he better get used to getting the short stick in the family? I just don't get these other parent's comments.

.

THANK YOU!!!!
That's how I view it, I would hate to wait around like that.

That's right! Turn your son into a pampered princess because that's how you want to be treated!

Take him out for a pedicure and some wine, too. After all, it's how you would like to be treated, right? No need to think about his development as a person or learning how to deal with less-than-desirable circumstances or overcome obstacles when we can just be caving in to hedonism all the time!

How about the other option, that behaving as a considerate person towards your children, sets the example for them to be considerate towards others. And what development are you talking about anyway? Do you actually think that making a teen wait at school is character building? You sound like a very nasty person. I hope they make you wait at the nursing home ALL DAY because that's the way you taught your children to treat people.

THE BOLDED!

[Anonymous]

How about the other option, that behaving as a considerate person towards your children, sets the example for them to be considerate towards others. And what development are you talking about anyway? Do you actually think that making a teen wait at school is character building? You sound like a very nasty person. I hope they make you wait at the nursing home ALL DAY because that's the way you taught your children to treat people.

THE BOLDED!

Exactly! I think OP had it right - pick a couple of days a week to take him in at 11:00. Keep it somewhat flexible in case something comes up for either of your - work stuff/conference calls or the son wanting some extra time at school for an assignment, etc. OP can pick up a coffee or some lunch on her way home and listen to an audio book - ahhh, the luxury.