Weigh in on this parenting diagreement

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is the schedule this way? Was it bad luck or something the 11:00 teen wanted? If you don't drop him off at his time, then every other persons schedule in the family is more important. I would hate to waste hours like that. But is he doing work that he needs to do or reading, something helpful? There's no carpool available to minimize it? I'd probably do it if I had the time to spare.

Its just how the schedule fell this term.
I dont think he will use his time wisely at school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't want to commit to doing the drive in the middle of the day -- seriously disruptive -- but I would tell my son that I will try to drive him a couple times a week, but no promises. I don't think a teen having to entertain himself/get school work done at school for a few hours is such a hardship. Or, he can get his own ride to school -- public bus, friend.

That sounds fair. I have days off during the week. I find it crazy that dh thinks i should sit at home instead of drive ds in at 1100. Why wouldnt I drive him if I am home anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would think he could easily use those two morning hours to finish homework and study for tests. If you drive him, those hours will be spent in bed.

He will probably play video games on his computer.

[Anonymous]

What would he be doing at school vs. what would he be doing at home? Seems like prime homework time to me. If he'd be doing homework at home, he can do homework in the library at school. If he'd be watching tv and playing video games at home, then no way would I be going out of my way to cater to that. So I'm with your DH. Plus, with his homework out of the way in the mornings, his afternoons/evenings should be totally free.

And sorry, what 16 year old starts school at 11? That's seriously bizarre.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm wondering how a 16 yo doesn't have class until 11am? How late does his school day go?

4pm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is the schedule this way? Was it bad luck or something the 11:00 teen wanted? If you don't drop him off at his time, then every other persons schedule in the family is more important. I would hate to waste hours like that. But is he doing work that he needs to do or reading, something helpful? There's no carpool available to minimize it? I'd probably do it if I had the time to spare.

Its just how the schedule fell this term.
I dont think he will use his time wisely at school.

Sounds like he won't use it wisely at home either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is the schedule this way? Was it bad luck or something the 11:00 teen wanted? If you don't drop him off at his time, then every other persons schedule in the family is more important. I would hate to waste hours like that. But is he doing work that he needs to do or reading, something helpful? There's no carpool available to minimize it? I'd probably do it if I had the time to spare.

Its just how the schedule fell this term.
I dont think he will use his time wisely at school.

Sounds like he won't use it wisely at home either.

At home, i would make him do his work.

[Anonymous]

Is there no public transport? The 16 year old can easily take the metro or bus.

[Anonymous]

I actually had a very similar schedule to this for two semesters during high school (I went to a private school). I got dropped off on my dad's way to work at about 8am and initially I spent those 3 hours goofing around and doing nothing or napping but within a few weeks I realized how awesome it was to have 3 full hours every morning to do my homework before friends/sports/etc got in the way. I'd still send him to school early

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get the 16-year-old a driver's license and a car and let him take care of himself.

Both of you are trying to helicopter and micromanage his life, and he's old enough to start contributing and controlling some aspects of his own life.

Driving would not address this issue. There is graduated licensing where i live and you need a licensed adult with you for the first year and cant drive on highways. He would need to take the highway. Also, my sister is paying several thousands to add her teen onto car insurance.

So it's too hard to have him be independent, so you'll keep doing this for him? Good insight into what's going wrong with younger generations.

(And if you don't live in the DC region, why don't you post on a forum where people know your state's draconian laws?)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get the 16-year-old a driver's license and a car and let him take care of himself.

Both of you are trying to helicopter and micromanage his life, and he's old enough to start contributing and controlling some aspects of his own life.

Driving would not address this issue. There is graduated licensing where i live and you need a licensed adult with you for the first year and cant drive on highways. He would need to take the highway. Also, my sister is paying several thousands to add her teen onto car insurance.

So it's too hard to have him be independent, so you'll keep doing this for him? Good insight into what's going wrong with younger generations.

(And if you don't live in the DC region, why don't you post on a forum where people know your state's draconian laws?)

I never asked people to weigh in on driving options. I asked where people stood on separate drop offs.
This has nothing to do with teen driving.
His schedule wont always be like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get the 16-year-old a driver's license and a car and let him take care of himself.

Both of you are trying to helicopter and micromanage his life, and he's old enough to start contributing and controlling some aspects of his own life.

Driving would not address this issue. There is graduated licensing where i live and you need a licensed adult with you for the first year and cant drive on highways. He would need to take the highway. Also, my sister is paying several thousands to add her teen onto car insurance.

So it's too hard to have him be independent, so you'll keep doing this for him? Good insight into what's going wrong with younger generations.

(And if you don't live in the DC region, why don't you post on a forum where people know your state's draconian laws?)

I never asked people to weigh in on driving options. I asked where people stood on separate drop offs.
This has nothing to do with teen driving.
His schedule wont always be like this.

No wonder you can't resolve this issue with your DH. You're not bright enough to understand there are more than two options here, and that neither of the two options you are considering are very good. Your idea is the worst of all, however.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is there no public transport? The 16 year old can easily take the metro or bus.

I looked into that. He would have to take a bus from our home to the train station. Then take the train to that city. Then take the bus from the train station to school.
As he would have to wait for buses/ train, he wouldn't save much time.

Obviously i looked into all these alternatives and narrowed it down to the situation in the OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get the 16-year-old a driver's license and a car and let him take care of himself.

Both of you are trying to helicopter and micromanage his life, and he's old enough to start contributing and controlling some aspects of his own life.

Driving would not address this issue. There is graduated licensing where i live and you need a licensed adult with you for the first year and cant drive on highways. He would need to take the highway. Also, my sister is paying several thousands to add her teen onto car insurance.

So it's too hard to have him be independent, so you'll keep doing this for him? Good insight into what's going wrong with younger generations.

(And if you don't live in the DC region, why don't you post on a forum where people know your state's draconian laws?)

I never asked people to weigh in on driving options. I asked where people stood on separate drop offs.
This has nothing to do with teen driving.
His schedule wont always be like this.

No wonder you can't resolve this issue with your DH. You're not bright enough to understand there are more than two options here, and that neither of the two options you are considering are very good. Your idea is the worst of all, however.

Lol, I never said I cant resolve it. We just had differing opinions. That's what makes our marriage of 22 years so strong.

[Anonymous]

1. Carpool with another family in the school and trade off days.
2. He rides with an older friend who already has a license.
3. He gets a license and starts driving himself at some point in the year so he's only there early for a while.
4. Use Uber, Sidecar, etc.
5. Trade off with DH so you take him sometimes and he takes him sometimes.