Weigh in on this parenting diagreement

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm assuming everyone who thinks the 16 year old should wait would be perfectly content being dropped off at work 2 hours early (or late!) and occupying yourself? Any lesson he is learning is one we should have already learned, so no problem, right?

I go to my kids games 1 hour early with nothing to do. Then I sit for another 1/2 hour while they get yelled at by the coach.

I sit at my kids practice for 1.5 hours and drive them 20 minutes each way.

I have adjusted my work schedule for my kids for 19 years.. so yes, I am perfectly content sitting around waiting when it is necessary. My work is closer to my kids school than home, so often I get off but they have practice, or are meeting with a teacher or are playing soccer with the headmaster when i show up... and yes, I have no problem waiting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You know there are elementary school kids who go to before care and are at school for more than hour before it starts.
Wow -- you are tripping over a 16 yr. old trying to figure out what to do with 2 hours of his day?
This cannot be real!

2 hours and 45 minutes. Who is tripping?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:So many cold selfish parents out there.

So many over coddling parents out there.

And you wonder why your kids will end up in therapy and throw you in a nursing home.

PP, if you think that over coddling your teen kids will mean that they will love you more and take care of you in your old age, you are sadly mistaken. Or perhaps you are wanting to keep that leash on your child close even into adulthood so that they will always be dependent on mommy and daddy.

If you think that making your 17 yr old boy spend a couple of hours a day in a private school, where I'm assuming is very nice, has a soda and snack machine, maybe even lounge chairs, and in a nice area where he can walk around, or do HW in a very nice library, is cold parenting .. then you need some serious therapy or parenting classes.

If this was a not so great public school, in a sketchy area, I might agree with OP. But, I am assuming, since this is a private school, the digs are super nice. I don't feel sorry for him for having to spend a couple of hours in there doing HW (which needs to be done anyways), snacking, playing on the computer/smartphone, maybe hanging out with other kids. It's much better for kids to spend time where there are peers around, rather than at home with mommy.

I think moms do tend to coddle their kids more than dads, hence the differing opinions by OP and her DH. Does OP think her DH is cold and selfish for thinking their 17 yr old DS will be fine spending a couple of hours at his private school?

He just turned 16. Yes, I do think dh is being cold and selfish. Uncharacteristically so.

Maybe because your DH realizes it's not cold and selfish?

And does your DH think you are coddling your 16 yr old? I kind of get where you are coming from because I probably coddle my kids way more than my DH does, but I think what you are doing is overkill. Are you proposing to do this regularly? Maybe once a week or so would be a nice thing for your DS, but honestly, if you do this, then perhaps he will expect it to be done regularly. Also, it doesn't sound like your DS is fighting it, so I don't understand why you should do this. Being considerate is opening the door for the person behind you, not going out of your way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm assuming everyone who thinks the 16 year old should wait would be perfectly content being dropped off at work 2 hours early (or late!) and occupying yourself? Any lesson he is learning is one we should have already learned, so no problem, right?

Kids do not equal adults.

[Anonymous]

No way, I'm with your DH all the way. Driving him separately would be a complete waste of time. At 16 he should be responsible enough to use the time wisely. DC #2 has to join me for DC #1's activities and DC #2 does homework while we wait. Time management.

[Anonymous]

Please tell us you are not driving him in a Prius because the irony would be more than I could bear.

Also goes for if you are any type of environmentalist/pollutant/anti chemical in the lawn type person

[Anonymous]

This explains why kids have such a hard time the first semester of college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm assuming everyone who thinks the 16 year old should wait would be perfectly content being dropped off at work 2 hours early (or late!) and occupying yourself? Any lesson he is learning is one we should have already learned, so no problem, right?

He can study for those 2 hrs. It's not like he's sitting there with nothing to do. And I assume he is there till about 2 or 3? So, he's there from 8:30 or so to 3? That's a normal school day for even ES kids. What is so hard about that?

Most work days are from 8 to 5, add in commute, maybe 7 to 6. Add in another 2 hours... ? Totally different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm assuming everyone who thinks the 16 year old should wait would be perfectly content being dropped off at work 2 hours early (or late!) and occupying yourself? Any lesson he is learning is one we should have already learned, so no problem, right?

If I had work I needed to do (like a high school student with homework would), I'd be fine with it. Wouldn't any student have books they're supposed to be reading, papers to work on, or math problems to do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm assuming everyone who thinks the 16 year old should wait would be perfectly content being dropped off at work 2 hours early (or late!) and occupying yourself? Any lesson he is learning is one we should have already learned, so no problem, right?

When I get home from work, I have to cook, clean, take care of kids. So, those 2 hours are precious. What does a 16 yr old boy do with those 2 hours at home? Study, snack, play on the computer/smart phone. He can do the same thing at a cushy private school.

Stop comparing kids to adults. We don't have the same responsibilities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm assuming everyone who thinks the 16 year old should wait would be perfectly content being dropped off at work 2 hours early (or late!) and occupying yourself? Any lesson he is learning is one we should have already learned, so no problem, right?

When I get home from work, I have to cook, clean, take care of kids. So, those 2 hours are precious. What does a 16 yr old boy do with those 2 hours at home? Study, snack, play on the computer/smart phone. He can do the same thing at a cushy private school.

Stop comparing kids to adults. We don't have the same responsibilities.

Stop treating your kids like they are yesterday's left overs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:So many cold selfish parents out there.

So many over coddling parents out there.

And you wonder why your kids will end up in therapy and throw you in a nursing home.

PP, if you think that over coddling your teen kids will mean that they will love you more and take care of you in your old age, you are sadly mistaken. Or perhaps you are wanting to keep that leash on your child close even into adulthood so that they will always be dependent on mommy and daddy.

If you think that making your 17 yr old boy spend a couple of hours a day in a private school, where I'm assuming is very nice, has a soda and snack machine, maybe even lounge chairs, and in a nice area where he can walk around, or do HW in a very nice library, is cold parenting .. then you need some serious therapy or parenting classes.

If this was a not so great public school, in a sketchy area, I might agree with OP. But, I am assuming, since this is a private school, the digs are super nice. I don't feel sorry for him for having to spend a couple of hours in there doing HW (which needs to be done anyways), snacking, playing on the computer/smartphone, maybe hanging out with other kids. It's much better for kids to spend time where there are peers around, rather than at home with mommy.

I think moms do tend to coddle their kids more than dads, hence the differing opinions by OP and her DH. Does OP think her DH is cold and selfish for thinking their 17 yr old DS will be fine spending a couple of hours at his private school?

He just turned 16. Yes, I do think dh is being cold and selfish. Uncharacteristically so.

No, your DH is right. There is no reason whatsoever that your kids can't go to school and do his homework, surf the web, read a book, or hang with his friends.

You're kinda pathetic. Do you still pack his lunchbag?

[Anonymous]

I'm on Team Dad, too. Your son isn't even complaining about this! He can get there early, use the time to study for a test, do his homework, read a book, whatever. I'm sure he has work he can do to fill the time. Probably the same work he'd be doing if he was at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many cold selfish parents out there.

So many over coddling parents out there.

And you wonder why your kids will end up in therapy and throw you in a nursing home.

PP, if you think that over coddling your teen kids will mean that they will love you more and take care of you in your old age, you are sadly mistaken. Or perhaps you are wanting to keep that leash on your child close even into adulthood so that they will always be dependent on mommy and daddy.

If you think that making your 17 yr old boy spend a couple of hours a day in a private school, where I'm assuming is very nice, has a soda and snack machine, maybe even lounge chairs, and in a nice area where he can walk around, or do HW in a very nice library, is cold parenting .. then you need some serious therapy or parenting classes.

If this was a not so great public school, in a sketchy area, I might agree with OP. But, I am assuming, since this is a private school, the digs are super nice. I don't feel sorry for him for having to spend a couple of hours in there doing HW (which needs to be done anyways), snacking, playing on the computer/smartphone, maybe hanging out with other kids. It's much better for kids to spend time where there are peers around, rather than at home with mommy.

I think moms do tend to coddle their kids more than dads, hence the differing opinions by OP and her DH. Does OP think her DH is cold and selfish for thinking their 17 yr old DS will be fine spending a couple of hours at his private school?

He just turned 16. Yes, I do think dh is being cold and selfish. Uncharacteristically so.

No, your DH is right. There is no reason whatsoever that your kids can't go to school and do his homework, surf the web, read a book, or hang with his friends.

You're kinda pathetic. Do you still pack his lunchbag?

Nope, he has been packing his lunch for years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are a helicopter parent.

Two drop offs? Wow.

If you're going try to be hip and use a buzz word might want to learn how to apply it