What makes a guy "creepy?"

[Anonymous]

Biden looks creepy to me in those pictures and, yet, most of those women look like they're having a blast. Which gets back to the subjective nature of creepiness.

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Biden looks creepy to me in those pictures and, yet, most of those women look like they're having a blast. Which gets back to the subjective nature of creepiness.

Eh, I think not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Biden looks creepy to me in those pictures and, yet, most of those women look like they're having a blast. Which gets back to the subjective nature of creepiness.

You are probably a creep. The complete misinterpretation of blatantly obvious social skills is a hallmark of creeps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

No it's not a fact. At all.

Creepy is creepy is creepy. I dont care if it's brad fucking pitt, if someone is not respecting social cues and prioritizing his sexual interest over MY comfort, he is a creep and there is ZERO interest. I have only heard the same sentiment expressed from my friends. No one has time or wants to be around a creep- no matter how pretty they may be.

Well, maybe you're a special fucking snowflake, but the whole point is that Brad Pitt is going to get different social cues in the first five minutes from most women than is slovenly, fat sweatpants guy.

[I'm a NP by the way -- don't want to impugn the PP with my coarse language.]

NP

No doubt about it.

[Anonymous]

Aside from pushy, obnoxious, sexual advances etc. which are obvious and uncalled for, for some men what 'makes' them creepy is the woman's interpretation of the men's acts. If there was consistency it would be easier. But what one accepts another does not. Consider the responses here. One thinks if a man begins a casual conversation it's creepy while another woman doesn't.

And the woman who runs into so many creeps her hair stands on end all day, it's likely you have a problem. Either where your travels take you or your interpretation of creepy. IMO it's more than likely it's your low opinion of men.

Finally, and yes I am a man, I have had women who have engaged in activity that fits what some of you are describing as creepy. But I don't know of a man who would use that term or consider it a big deal unless they shoved the boundaries a lot further than nudging or pushing them slightly. Minor stuff would fall under the category as annoying. Yes, there is a gender difference. But some of what's on here sure doesn't seem threatening and fits more in the annoying, even minor annoyance, rather than creepy make my neck hairs stand up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

No it's not a fact. At all.

Creepy is creepy is creepy. I dont care if it's brad fucking pitt, if someone is not respecting social cues and prioritizing his sexual interest over MY comfort, he is a creep and there is ZERO interest. I have only heard the same sentiment expressed from my friends. No one has time or wants to be around a creep- no matter how pretty they may be.

Well, maybe you're a special fucking snowflake, but the whole point is that Brad Pitt is going to get different social cues in the first five minutes from most women than is slovenly, fat sweatpants guy.

[I'm a NP by the way -- don't want to impugn the PP with my coarse language.]

Take a chill pill bro. You are getting way too heated over this..

Also, accusing women of being a "special snowflake" makes you look like an MRA loser. So... maybe watch that...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lack of boundaries.

If I haven't done something to indicate I want to talk to you, don't unless it's to be courteous or convey necessary information.

Example, on metro.

non-creepy-- your backpack is open and something looks like it will fall out.

creepy-- smile! So, I notice you like the beach, me too (pointing at OBX T-shirt).

Example, in Starbucks

non-creepy-- Looks like they forgot both of our orders. I'm going to check.

creepy-- sit down at my table or ask to do so, unless there are no others and I'm at a big table and it's clear you just want to work.

Example, on the street

creepy-- anything other than "miss, your hair is on fire."

example, at work

non-creepy-- did you have a nice weekend?

creepy-- asking for a date; staring; looming over my desk.

example, Facebook.

non-creepy-- sending friend request if you are a friend of a friend and you often reply to the same friend's postings and "like" one another's comments. If I don't accept the friend request, you drop it.

creepy-- private messaging me to ask about the friend request, trying to talk to me once I've said no, expressing anger and telling me what kind of person I am if I decide not to interact with you.

you crazy, and if the guy was attractive it wouldn't be creepy to you!

Not true. I am a different poster and attractiveness really doesnt matter. Plenty of "attractive" guys are super creepy. It's this inane persecutionist fantasy men have that they can act creepy as hell and when they get called out they can cry that "I guess I'm just not attractive enough to get away with it."

Bitch, please.

I think its ignorant to say your level of attraction to the guy doesn't impact how you initially perceive his creep factor. If a super hot guy approaches you and starts yammering about something stupid you're much more likely to be flattered and engage than if a guy who looks like he lives in his mom's basement and eats pizza for a living approaches you with the same stupid line. Now maybe the super hot guy IS a creep and five minutes into the conversation you realize that and pull away but the reality is that the hot guy gets five minutes the not guy never had a chance at.

That has nothing to do with fantasy. That is reality. And perhaps brings a secondary thing up, in that a guy's physical appearance (not like, hot/not but like, put together, hygenic, not slovenly) has a pretty significant impact on the creep alarm sounding. For example, if you have two guys who are equally creepy and equally attractive but one is in a suit and one is in dirty clothes and looks like he hasn't showered, I would be more likely to write the dirty guy off as creepy first.

"Lives in his basement and eats pizza for a living" is not a measure of attractiveness. That is a personality trait, not a physical characteristic. There's plenty of hot guys that can live in the basement and eat pizza for a living and plenty of ugly guys. Neither of their "creepiness" is determined by how attractive they are, nor by the fact that they live in a basement, though that certainly seems to increase the likelihood.

Maybe there is a correlation between ugly guys and creepiness because attractive people, in general, have been treated better over the course of their life, probably been exposed to more interaction, and will, in general, have better social skills. But then again, there are plenty of dudes like Elliot Rodgers, who was a perfectly attractive guy, definitely more the type to "wear a suit" like you described, instead of a dirty clothes, and drove a BMW. And he still went off the charts on every woman's creep meter.

So no- your assessment is fully incorrect. A creep is a creep is a creep whether they're attractive or even hot, dressed in the nicest clothes or the worst. As human beings we tend to trust those who are clean and take care of themselves more, and people who are attractive more. That goes for ALL human beings, male and female, and statistics back that up. However, that's totally different from classifying someone into the creep group. Any dude, regardless of appearance or background, can choose to respect a woman's social cues and emotions, read them appropriately, and not impose himself on here. And vice versa can happen- in which case, he gets placed into "creep category."

Look, the bottom line is that a really good looking man could do or say something that you might find flattering, where the exact same thing done or said by an unattractive guy would be perceived as creepy.

No one is saying that good looking guys can't be creepy, but there is a sliding scale of creepiness and good looking men will have more leeway than their less attractive brothers. Fact.

No it's not a fact. At all.

Creepy is creepy is creepy. I dont care if it's brad fucking pitt, if someone is not respecting social cues and prioritizing his sexual interest over MY comfort, he is a creep and there is ZERO interest. I have only heard the same sentiment expressed from my friends. No one has time or wants to be around a creep- no matter how pretty they may be.

Oh please. Of course good-looking people (men or women) are going to get more social leeway. You simply look foolish for denying this.

Right, i believe I was the one who stated that earlier.

However, someone being good looking is not an major determiner of creep status. Certainly, most of the "creep defenders" seem to vastly overestimate how much someone's attractiveness plays into their classification as being a creep or not.

Again, Elliot Rodgers is a great example. He's got fantastic bone structure, really a good looking guy. And yet every girl that met him classified him as creep.

That should be proof enough to you that while attractiveness may play a small part in putting off a creep classification, since it helps with all social interactions, it certainly does not play enough of a role to be a part of the discussion of what makes someone a creep, and definitely, DEFINITELY doesnt deserve to be characterized as major determinant of creepiness

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

OMG that poor girl. She's scarred for life now

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lack of boundaries.

If I haven't done something to indicate I want to talk to you, don't unless it's to be courteous or convey necessary information.

Example, on metro.

non-creepy-- your backpack is open and something looks like it will fall out.

creepy-- smile! So, I notice you like the beach, me too (pointing at OBX T-shirt).

Example, in Starbucks

non-creepy-- Looks like they forgot both of our orders. I'm going to check.

creepy-- sit down at my table or ask to do so, unless there are no others and I'm at a big table and it's clear you just want to work.

Example, on the street

creepy-- anything other than "miss, your hair is on fire."

example, at work

non-creepy-- did you have a nice weekend?

creepy-- asking for a date; staring; looming over my desk.

example, Facebook.

non-creepy-- sending friend request if you are a friend of a friend and you often reply to the same friend's postings and "like" one another's comments. If I don't accept the friend request, you drop it.

creepy-- private messaging me to ask about the friend request, trying to talk to me once I've said no, expressing anger and telling me what kind of person I am if I decide not to interact with you.

you crazy, and if the guy was attractive it wouldn't be creepy to you!

Not true. I am a different poster and attractiveness really doesnt matter. Plenty of "attractive" guys are super creepy. It's this inane persecutionist fantasy men have that they can act creepy as hell and when they get called out they can cry that "I guess I'm just not attractive enough to get away with it."

Bitch, please.

I think its ignorant to say your level of attraction to the guy doesn't impact how you initially perceive his creep factor. If a super hot guy approaches you and starts yammering about something stupid you're much more likely to be flattered and engage than if a guy who looks like he lives in his mom's basement and eats pizza for a living approaches you with the same stupid line. Now maybe the super hot guy IS a creep and five minutes into the conversation you realize that and pull away but the reality is that the hot guy gets five minutes the not guy never had a chance at.

That has nothing to do with fantasy. That is reality. And perhaps brings a secondary thing up, in that a guy's physical appearance (not like, hot/not but like, put together, hygenic, not slovenly) has a pretty significant impact on the creep alarm sounding. For example, if you have two guys who are equally creepy and equally attractive but one is in a suit and one is in dirty clothes and looks like he hasn't showered, I would be more likely to write the dirty guy off as creepy first.

"Lives in his basement and eats pizza for a living" is not a measure of attractiveness. That is a personality trait, not a physical characteristic. There's plenty of hot guys that can live in the basement and eat pizza for a living and plenty of ugly guys. Neither of their "creepiness" is determined by how attractive they are, nor by the fact that they live in a basement, though that certainly seems to increase the likelihood.

Maybe there is a correlation between ugly guys and creepiness because attractive people, in general, have been treated better over the course of their life, probably been exposed to more interaction, and will, in general, have better social skills. But then again, there are plenty of dudes like Elliot Rodgers, who was a perfectly attractive guy, definitely more the type to "wear a suit" like you described, instead of a dirty clothes, and drove a BMW. And he still went off the charts on every woman's creep meter.

So no- your assessment is fully incorrect. A creep is a creep is a creep whether they're attractive or even hot, dressed in the nicest clothes or the worst. As human beings we tend to trust those who are clean and take care of themselves more, and people who are attractive more. That goes for ALL human beings, male and female, and statistics back that up. However, that's totally different from classifying someone into the creep group. Any dude, regardless of appearance or background, can choose to respect a woman's social cues and emotions, read them appropriately, and not impose himself on here. And vice versa can happen- in which case, he gets placed into "creep category."

Look, the bottom line is that a really good looking man could do or say something that you might find flattering, where the exact same thing done or said by an unattractive guy would be perceived as creepy.

No one is saying that good looking guys can't be creepy, but there is a sliding scale of creepiness and good looking men will have more leeway than their less attractive brothers. Fact.

No it's not a fact. At all.

Creepy is creepy is creepy. I dont care if it's brad fucking pitt, if someone is not respecting social cues and prioritizing his sexual interest over MY comfort, he is a creep and there is ZERO interest. I have only heard the same sentiment expressed from my friends. No one has time or wants to be around a creep- no matter how pretty they may be.

Oh please. Of course good-looking people (men or women) are going to get more social leeway. You simply look foolish for denying this.

Right, i believe I was the one who stated that earlier.

However, someone being good looking is not an major determiner of creep status. Certainly, most of the "creep defenders" seem to vastly overestimate how much someone's attractiveness plays into their classification as being a creep or not.

Again, Elliot Rodgers is a great example. He's got fantastic bone structure, really a good looking guy. And yet every girl that met him classified him as creep.

That should be proof enough to you that while attractiveness may play a small part in putting off a creep classification, since it helps with all social interactions, it certainly does not play enough of a role to be a part of the discussion of what makes someone a creep, and definitely, DEFINITELY doesnt deserve to be characterized as major determinant of creepiness

If you are the PP who mentioned Elliot Rodgers before than I am the PP who you responded to and completely misinterpreted as 'fully incorrect'. First, I said a guy who LOOKS like he lives in his basement and eats pizza for a living, if you don't get a pretty specific image based on that description than we run in different circles. My entire post was essentially talking about perception. How hot guys will get different signals and therefore end up being labeled creepy less often/less quickly. It's just human nature. I never said hot guys can't be creeps or hot guys can't be creepy, I said that their creep-ness might fly under the radar longer because they are hot. A lot of psychopaths got a lot of women in their grasp because they were good looking and charming and that let them get past the woman's first level creep scan. I don't know who you're really disagreeing with honestly. No one is saying that ugly guys are by definition creepy, if anything I'm saying it kind of sucks for them because a lot of the tools at their disposal to engage with a woman are probably written off as creepy out of the gate because of an initial lack of attraction.

[Anonymous]

^And what I'm telling you is THAT IS NOT TRUE, at least in any meaningful way.

Beyond the slight edge given to ALL attractive people regardless of rape, there is no extra, specific advantage given to attractive men in terms of whether or not they are creepy.

WOmen are fairly good at telling at once whether someone is "creepy". If a man is extremely socially skilled and manages to be a serial killer while flying under the radar, then, by definition of the social perception aspect required for creepy status, he is not creepy. Evil and awful, yes- but not creepy.

You seem to be hung up and upset over the social disadvantages that ugly people (men specifically) face in general. That's fine, and there's room for a thread on that. You are certainly welcome to be passionate on the issue (though it obviously seems that you are a bit overly invested in it, for reasons which we can only guess...), but it's just not relevant in the creepy said.

For the last time: looks do not determine or significantly contribute to someone's classification as "creepy". That has to do with social skills, respect of female boundaries, and awareness of social cues. Those are the determinants.

[Anonymous]

chris coons' daughter - damn, i feel bad for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:chris coons' daughter - damn, i feel bad for her.

Me too. Nasty old man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^And what I'm telling you is THAT IS NOT TRUE, at least in any meaningful way.

Beyond the slight edge given to ALL attractive people regardless of rape, there is no extra, specific advantage given to attractive men in terms of whether or not they are creepy.

WOmen are fairly good at telling at once whether someone is "creepy". If a man is extremely socially skilled and manages to be a serial killer while flying under the radar, then, by definition of the social perception aspect required for creepy status, he is not creepy. Evil and awful, yes- but not creepy.

You seem to be hung up and upset over the social disadvantages that ugly people (men specifically) face in general. That's fine, and there's room for a thread on that. You are certainly welcome to be passionate on the issue (though it obviously seems that you are a bit overly invested in it, for reasons which we can only guess...), but it's just not relevant in the creepy said.

For the last time: looks do not determine or significantly contribute to someone's classification as "creepy". That has to do with social skills, respect of female boundaries, and awareness of social cues. Those are the determinants.

Ok I think you are really just not clued into reality. It is possible that YOU PERSONALLY are super good at looking at all men equitably and parsing out the creepy from the not creepy without being influenced whatsoever by looks but that really just doesn't mesh with reality for me (I am a moderately attractive white female ~30 so this is not some passionate quest to defend ugly nerds or anything). I know for a fact that if a man approached me on the metro and struck up a conversation with me that there are physical characteristics that would lead me to either be flattered and entertain the conversation or to shut down and write him off as a creep. Not proud of it but its true. Doesn't mean the hot guy isn't a creep and that I won't discover that and distance myself shortly, but he has a chance to prove he's not a creep, the other guy never did.

You seem to be focused on determining someone's inner creep soul and saying that's the only relevant issue. How much of a creep they are in their heart of hearts. I think this measurement frequently does not directly correspond to how much of a creep a woman might think he is at any given moment. Plenty of guys are awkward and weird and probably creep a lot of people out but might be great fun loving warm hearted guys when you get to know them. Awareness of social skills and being charming is not correlated to someone's inner soul of creep, as the whole earlier discussion of the ASD community alluded to.

So anyway I stand by my thesis, for some women, initial visual impression absolutely corresponds to initial classification as 'creepy.' Its part of the package. And in fact, initial visual impression can create a sub bias that influences how a woman views that man's social skills, respect of boundaries and awareness of cues.

[Anonymous]

^Well, I have to say, in my group of friends, you would be an anomaly.

My friends arent really impressed by a guy coming up and intruding on conversation, acting awkward, not respecting their space- and appearance has absolutely zero to do with it.

Someone having a cute face, for most women I know, definitely does not absolve them of their responsibility to not impose on women's time and to respect their social cues.

And if they can uphold that responsibility, they are not creepy. If they don't they are.

It's really that simple. I think you're making it way too complicated.