Reply to What makes a guy "creepy?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Lack of boundaries.

If I haven't done something to indicate I want to talk to you, don't unless it's to be courteous or convey necessary information.

[b]Example, on metro[/b].

non-creepy-- your backpack is open and something looks like it will fall out.

creepy-- smile!  So, I notice you like the beach, me too (pointing at OBX T-shirt).

[b]Example, in Starbucks[/b]

non-creepy-- Looks like they forgot both of our orders.  I'm going to check.

creepy-- sit down at my table or ask to do so, unless there are no others and I'm at a big table and it's clear you just want to work.

[b]Example, on the street[/b]

creepy-- anything other than "miss, your hair is on fire."

[b]example, at work[/b]

non-creepy-- did you have a nice weekend?

creepy-- asking for a date; staring; looming over my desk.

[b]example, Facebook. [/b]

non-creepy-- sending friend request if you are a friend of a friend and you often reply to the same friend's postings and "like" one another's comments.  If I don't accept the friend request, you drop it.

creepy-- private messaging me to ask about the friend request, trying to talk to me once I've said no, expressing anger and telling me what kind of person I am if I decide not to interact with you.

[/quote]

you crazy, and if the guy was attractive it wouldn't be creepy to you![/quote]

Not true. I am a different poster and attractiveness really doesnt matter. Plenty of "attractive" guys are super creepy.  It's this inane persecutionist fantasy men have that they can act creepy as hell and when they get called out they can cry that "I guess I'm just not attractive enough to get away with it."

Bitch, please.[/quote]

I think its ignorant to say your level of attraction to the guy doesn't impact how you initially perceive his creep factor. If a super hot guy approaches you and starts yammering about something stupid you're much more likely to be flattered and engage than if a guy who looks like he lives in his mom's basement and eats pizza for a living approaches you with the same stupid line. Now maybe the super hot guy IS a creep and five minutes into the conversation you realize that and pull away but the reality is that the hot guy gets five minutes the not guy never had a chance at.

That has nothing to do with fantasy. That is reality. And perhaps brings a secondary thing up, in that a guy's physical appearance (not like, hot/not but like, put together, hygenic, not slovenly) has a pretty significant impact on the creep alarm sounding. For example, if you have two guys who are equally creepy and equally attractive but one is in a suit and one is in dirty clothes and looks like he hasn't showered, I would be more likely to write the dirty guy off as creepy first. [/quote]

"Lives in his basement and eats pizza for a living" is not a measure of attractiveness.  That is a personality trait, not a physical characteristic.  There's plenty of hot guys that can live in the basement and eat pizza for a living and plenty of ugly guys.  Neither of their "creepiness" is determined by how attractive they are, nor by the fact that they live in a basement, though that certainly seems to increase the likelihood.

Maybe there is a correlation between ugly guys and creepiness because attractive people, in general, have been treated better over the course of their life, probably been exposed to more interaction, and will, in general, have better social skills.  But then again, there are plenty of dudes like Elliot Rodgers, who was a perfectly attractive guy, definitely more the type to "wear a suit" like you described, instead of a dirty clothes, and drove a BMW.  And he still went off the charts on every woman's creep meter.

So no- your assessment is fully incorrect.  A creep is a creep is a creep whether they're attractive or even hot, dressed in the nicest clothes or the worst.  As human beings we tend to trust those who are clean and take care of themselves more, and people who are attractive more.  That goes for ALL human beings, male and female, and statistics back that up.  However, that's totally different from classifying someone into the creep group.  Any dude, regardless of appearance or background, can choose to respect a woman's social cues and emotions, read them appropriately, and not impose himself on here.  And vice versa can happen- in which case, he gets placed into "creep category."[/quote]

Look, the bottom line is that a really good looking man could do or say something that you might find flattering, where the exact same thing done or said by an unattractive guy would be perceived as creepy.

No one is saying that good looking guys can't be creepy, but there is a sliding scale of creepiness and good looking men will have more leeway than their less attractive brothers. Fact.[/quote]

No it's not a fact.  At all.

Creepy is creepy is creepy. I dont care if it's brad fucking pitt, if someone is not respecting social cues and prioritizing his sexual interest over MY comfort, he is  a creep and there is ZERO interest.  I have only heard the same sentiment expressed from my friends.  No one has time or wants to be around a creep- no matter how pretty they may be.[/quote]

Oh please. Of course good-looking people (men or women) are going to get more social leeway. You simply look foolish for denying this.[/quote]

Right, i believe I was the one who stated that earlier.

However, someone being good looking is not an major determiner of creep status.  Certainly, most of the "creep defenders" seem to vastly overestimate how much someone's attractiveness plays into their classification as being a creep or not.

Again, Elliot Rodgers is a great example.  He's got fantastic bone structure, really a good looking guy.  And yet every girl that met him classified him as creep.

That should be proof enough to you that while attractiveness may play a small part in putting off a creep classification, since it helps with all social interactions, it certainly does not play enough of a role to be a part of the discussion of what makes someone a creep, and definitely, DEFINITELY doesnt deserve to be characterized as major determinant of creepiness[/quote]

If you are the PP who mentioned Elliot Rodgers before than I am the PP who you responded to and completely misinterpreted as 'fully incorrect'. First, I said a guy who LOOKS like he lives in his basement and eats pizza for a living, if you don't get a pretty specific image based on that description than we run in different circles. My entire post was essentially talking about perception. How hot guys will get different signals and therefore end up being labeled creepy less often/less quickly. It's just human nature. I never said hot guys can't be creeps or hot guys can't be creepy, I said that their creep-ness might fly under the radar longer because they are hot. A lot of psychopaths got a lot of women in their grasp because they were good looking and charming and that let them get past the woman's first level creep scan. I don't know who you're really disagreeing with honestly. No one is saying that ugly guys are by definition creepy, if anything I'm saying it kind of sucks for them because a lot of the tools at their disposal to engage with a woman are probably written off as creepy out of the gate because of an initial lack of attraction.   [/quote]

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