What makes a guy "creepy?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. It seems to me that creepy is a word for someone that gives you the creepy feeling up and down the spine. And that makes the definition different for everyone.

I was asking, not because I am on the spectrum, but rather I keep hearing the term creepy, and was curious as to what makes people creepy. For me, it was the person that kept randomly showing up where I was. After a while, it was clear that she was stalking me. But, as a guy, I am in a better position to defend myself (physically) if required (and assuming weapons are not involved).

No. It's often not that dramatic. No hairs on the back of my neck need to be standing up for me to recognize and be annoyed by creepy behavior.

[Anonymous]

If he prioritizes his own interests (particularly sexual) over a woman's level of comfort, sense of safety, and personal feelings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. It seems to me that creepy is a word for someone that gives you the creepy feeling up and down the spine. And that makes the definition different for everyone.

I was asking, not because I am on the spectrum, but rather I keep hearing the term creepy, and was curious as to what makes people creepy. For me, it was the person that kept randomly showing up where I was. After a while, it was clear that she was stalking me. But, as a guy, I am in a better position to defend myself (physically) if required (and assuming weapons are not involved).

No. It's often not that dramatic. No hairs on the back of my neck need to be standing up for me to recognize and be annoyed by creepy behavior.

If hairs stood up on the back of my neck for every creeper I encountered on a daily basis they would probably never go down.

I think the same goes for a lot of women, sadly.

[Anonymous]

Creepy is when middle aged male neighbor asks if he can take your six year old female child for a walk in the nearby woods to explore. When you say no he gets angry. When you point out its private property (not the reason I said no) he insists that the law gives him access to the river through any property. The river is not adjacent to the property. This is a person who has boundary issues and doesn't get it.

[Anonymous]

The poster with the list of examples seems very uptight and antisocial to me. Everyone crosses boundaries on occasion but the non creepy ones seem to know when to pull back. It does bother me though that the OP admits to being labeled as creepy in the past but unaware of how he lost that vibe. Then he deflects attention to say he's been stalked by a woman because she was where he was too often? Let me guess. In the cubicle next to him?!?!?

[Anonymous]

So, what I am seeing is, with the exception of 14:29 (definitely creepy), it is up to the recipient. And, in some cases, fungible based on other factors (i.e., he is cute). The common theme is aa disrespect for boundaries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: The poster with the list of examples seems very uptight and antisocial to me. Everyone crosses boundaries on occasion but the non creepy ones seem to know when to pull back. It does bother me though that the OP admits to being labeled as creepy in the past but unaware of how he lost that vibe. Then he deflects attention to say he's been stalked by a woman because she was where he was too often? Let me guess. In the cubicle next to him?!?!?

No -- ran into her 20 times a day around town. She lived across town, and I saw her in front my house, for example. She was not connected to the university, but showed up at the classes I was TA'ing...

[Anonymous]

I think what many people are describing is a sense of entitlement that some men can bring to the table. And I don't mean like alpha dude who thinks can do what he wants (although relevant). It's the guy who feels entitled to touch you, follow you, call you, be near you, and then escalates in anger when he finds his entitlement questioned. I also ascribe this sense of entitlement to guys who lament the "friend zone." they're just SO NICE and such a NICE GUY then why doesnt this girl want to xyz w them (date them, have sex w them). being decent or kind doesn't come hand in hand with a person wanting to have sex w you or be in a romantic relationship. That's creepy entitlement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So, what I am seeing is, with the exception of 14:29 (definitely creepy), it is up to the recipient. And, in some cases, fungible based on other factors (i.e., he is cute). The common theme is aa disrespect for boundaries.

That's not the only common theme. Inability to read cues is a big one, and that's not always the same as disrespecting boundaries. You seem to want to tie this into a sentence and put a bow on it it, but there are nuances here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Creepy is when middle aged male neighbor asks if he can take your six year old female child for a walk in the nearby woods to explore. When you say no he gets angry. When you point out its private property (not the reason I said no) he insists that the law gives him access to the river through any property. The river is not adjacent to the property. This is a person who has boundary issues and doesn't get it.

That's not creepy, that way beyond creepy!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Creepy is when middle aged male neighbor asks if he can take your six year old female child for a walk in the nearby woods to explore. When you say no he gets angry. When you point out its private property (not the reason I said no) he insists that the law gives him access to the river through any property. The river is not adjacent to the property. This is a person who has boundary issues and doesn't get it.

OMG!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Creepy is when middle aged male neighbor asks if he can take your six year old female child for a walk in the nearby woods to explore. When you say no he gets angry. When you point out its private property (not the reason I said no) he insists that the law gives him access to the river through any property. The river is not adjacent to the property. This is a person who has boundary issues and doesn't get it.

...and that is creepy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also a general lack of respect for women, a sense of overall male superiority and dismissiveness towards women in general, other than for sex. A creep has no women in his life that he respects or admires. Enjoys no books written or movies directed by women. Has no real female friends and has a hard time relating to women's life stories and concerns in general.

Claims to struggle to find any woman "smart" enough to date.

Yep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Creepy is when middle aged male neighbor asks if he can take your six year old female child for a walk in the nearby woods to explore. When you say no he gets angry. When you point out its private property (not the reason I said no) he insists that the law gives him access to the river through any property. The river is not adjacent to the property. This is a person who has boundary issues and doesn't get it.

OMG!!!

Seriously I might have called the cops or something even if they couldn't do anything. Eek.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think what many people are describing is a sense of entitlement that some men can bring to the table. And I don't mean like alpha dude who thinks can do what he wants (although relevant). It's the guy who feels entitled to touch you, follow you, call you, be near you, and then escalates in anger when he finds his entitlement questioned. I also ascribe this sense of entitlement to guys who lament the "friend zone." they're just SO NICE and such a NICE GUY then why doesnt this girl want to xyz w them (date them, have sex w them). being decent or kind doesn't come hand in hand with a person wanting to have sex w you or be in a romantic relationship. That's creepy entitlement.

Meh. I don't particularly care for this word.