Sleeping with someone for first time when you're over 50

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Getting std is the least of worries when having sex outside marriage. Accountability in front of God on day of Judgment is the biggest worry

You sound fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most women I've dated over 50 have emphatically not wanted condoms. By "most" I mean almost all.

Many women say sex feels better without a condom, but it's not just that. Many crave the exchange of fluids. It's primal.

They also want their partner to feel good. They want their partner to enjoy being inside them.

I am not going to let you transfer all the germs you have inside of you, for your good time. Sorry, not sorry.

[Anonymous]

Well, over 50
Doesn’t preclude pregnancy, and certainly doesn’t exclude STI/ STD transmission.

[Anonymous]

Here is what all the men’s bravado, and women’s passivity yields:

https://thehill.com/changing-america/well-being/prevention-cures/4564052-stds-have-risen-among-adults-55-and-older-cdc/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men: Use condoms if you want sex.

Women: Wax if you want oral.

Guy here. I’ll eat it all no matter the grooming situation.


But waxed or trimmed is a whole lot nicer.

Please dont eat it until she showed you her herpes and other STDs status. I am now scared even to kiss men from OLD - who knows what they were eating a night before!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:no, he's not going to want to wear a condom and what if he doesn't have any? he'll probably dodge the std talk and try to raw dog you.

Just stop. I am willing to bet you have been married for 20+ years and have no idea what you are talking about.

Having dated in my 50's this is what I have found. Good men, and I assuming you consider your potential partner to be among them, are eager to please. But you need to be clear with your intentions and needs. Don't ambush the guy with your questions without giving him the opportunity to prepare. If you want STD testing before sex, tell him now. You want condoms, have them available and tell him before.

Men are not mind readers.

As far your scars etc., assuming this man is around your same age, he will also have battle scars. We all do, so don't go into this with fear that he is expecting a 20 year old body - he knows how old you are.

Best of luck and keep the communication open, the beauty of dating at this age is that we have a lot of life experience and it comes in handy with sex!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am 55 and married. If I were single and dating at this age, you bet I would continue to use condoms. Anyone who came of age in the 1980s should remember when HIV/AIDS was a death sentence; condoms became a standard part of the sex protocol after that, for almost everyone I know.

Yes, they dulled the sensation a bit -- but they also improved one's staying power. If a fifty-something guy refuses to wear a condom now, it's probably because his equipment no longer works quite as well as it did. Because I guarantee you when he was hooking up with randos he met at parties and bars in the 1990s, he was wearing a jimmy hat when they got down to business.

Why are you commenting on something you know nothing about? I am willing to bet you have a dead bedroom and are bitter that this woman is finding joy and having a second chance at life. GTFO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Asked him to wear a condom and he blocked me. Never heard from him again. Two guys in late 50s wouldn’t wear one.

Guy question: please explain why a guy in 50s would be nervous about performance. I understand in 20s but in 50s I am 100% confident and free. We’ve had a lifetime of experience. I have never felt less inhibited. So surprised that a man would be nervous. What’s there even to perform ? It’s natural. So frustrating as a woman.

You are a horrible person. Here is a news flash, men are people with feelings and emotions too.

DP and a woman.

[Anonymous]

Some of you are so ignorant of sexual health its scary. I took a class in college on sexual health and it was so informative and gave me a life long desire to be aware and educated in this area.

That being said, being healthy doesn’t mean not having sex. Having sex is HEALTHY. It’s what humans are supposed to do. Yes, ideally you find one person to do this with for the rest of your life but that simply doesn’t work out for many people.

Living your life afraid of touching another person is no way to live. Some of you need to have some therapy to work through your fears. Based on this thread you would think that every single person in the DMV is walking around with an STI they just can’t wait to share.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some of you are so ignorant of sexual health its scary. I took a class in college on sexual health and it was so informative and gave me a life long desire to be aware and educated in this area.

That being said, being healthy doesn’t mean not having sex. Having sex is HEALTHY. It’s what humans are supposed to do. Yes, ideally you find one person to do this with for the rest of your life but that simply doesn’t work out for many people.

Living your life afraid of touching another person is no way to live. Some of you need to have some therapy to work through your fears. Based on this thread you would think that every single person in the DMV is walking around with an STI they just can’t wait to share.

What exactly are we ignoring here as part of our sex Ed? That asking for condoms is bad?

[Anonymous]

As a man, I can tell you that so many divorced women post-40 are willing to bang without condoms and just a simple ask of “you’re clean, right?” without actually verifying my STD status by trading results. I insist on confoms and you can see the disappointment in their face.

I have a vasectomy. It’s like nectar to bees - women see it as an invite to disregard condoms from the get-go. They assume that because I am responsible enough to get a vasectomy, I’m also responsible enough to avoid catching an STD.

Ironically, the ones who are relieved about my insistance on condoms are younger women (20s to early 30s). They frequently say that guys their own age pressure them to forego condoms.

If a divorced woman in her 40s-50s is banging a young stud, I can guarantee they are not using condoms. Both groups like to take risks.

[Anonymous]

As a man, I can tell you that so many divorced women post-40 are willing to bang without condoms and just a simple ask of “you’re clean, right?” without actually verifying my STD status by trading results. I insist on confoms and you can see the disappointment in their face.

I have a vasectomy. It’s like nectar to bees - women see it as an invite to disregard condoms from the get-go. They assume that because I am responsible enough to get a vasectomy, I’m also responsible enough to avoid catching an STD.

Snipped man here and this is all true IME.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

As a man, I can tell you that so many divorced women post-40 are willing to bang without condoms and just a simple ask of “you’re clean, right?” without actually verifying my STD status by trading results. I insist on confoms and you can see the disappointment in their face.

I have a vasectomy. It’s like nectar to bees - women see it as an invite to disregard condoms from the get-go. They assume that because I am responsible enough to get a vasectomy, I’m also responsible enough to avoid catching an STD.

Snipped man here and this is all true IME.

As a sterile woman in my 40s I don’t believe it a bit. I still ask for both STD test AND condoms. All my single friends who ate dating /professional high income women in dmv are also using condoms for dating. Of course if exclusivity is confirmed everyone forgoes condoms. I’m told I’m a beauty so maybe men are more amenable to my terms. Or all these women from the apps you bang are desperate single moms waiting for whoever calls them back after a night of unprotected sex. I also never hook up and had sex with only a few men who actually dated me. Not those who invited to hang out at their place on date 2, without an actual date.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

As a man, I can tell you that so many divorced women post-40 are willing to bang without condoms and just a simple ask of “you’re clean, right?” without actually verifying my STD status by trading results. I insist on confoms and you can see the disappointment in their face.

I have a vasectomy. It’s like nectar to bees - women see it as an invite to disregard condoms from the get-go. They assume that because I am responsible enough to get a vasectomy, I’m also responsible enough to avoid catching an STD.

Snipped man here and this is all true IME.

As a sterile woman in my 40s I don’t believe it a bit. I still ask for both STD test AND condoms. All my single friends who ate dating /professional high income women in dmv are also using condoms for dating. Of course if exclusivity is confirmed everyone forgoes condoms. I’m told I’m a beauty so maybe men are more amenable to my terms. Or all these women from the apps you bang are desperate single moms waiting for whoever calls them back after a night of unprotected sex. I also never hook up and had sex with only a few men who actually dated me. Not those who invited to hang out at their place on date 2, without an actual date.

“I’m told I’m a beauty”. Right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

As a man, I can tell you that so many divorced women post-40 are willing to bang without condoms and just a simple ask of “you’re clean, right?” without actually verifying my STD status by trading results. I insist on confoms and you can see the disappointment in their face.

I have a vasectomy. It’s like nectar to bees - women see it as an invite to disregard condoms from the get-go. They assume that because I am responsible enough to get a vasectomy, I’m also responsible enough to avoid catching an STD.

Snipped man here and this is all true IME.

As a sterile woman in my 40s I don’t believe it a bit. I still ask for both STD test AND condoms. All my single friends who ate dating /professional high income women in dmv are also using condoms for dating. Of course if exclusivity is confirmed everyone forgoes condoms. I’m told I’m a beauty so maybe men are more amenable to my terms. Or all these women from the apps you bang are desperate single moms waiting for whoever calls them back after a night of unprotected sex. I also never hook up and had sex with only a few men who actually dated me. Not those who invited to hang out at their place on date 2, without an actual date.

“I’m told I’m a beauty”. Right.

I mean, that’s what men text me after dates. Gorgeous, beauty, pretty..