Sleeping with someone for first time when you're over 50

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Sextriggered is not the same things as sexually transmitted. The difference matters, especially for public health. The former does not have carriers that can be treated to stop spread, because there is no spread. It's not an infectious microbe that moves from person to person.

Sex triggered infections are infections that are more prone to develop after sex, but are not being transmitted from another infected person. They are being triggered by sex with someone who is not themselves infected, but for whom interaction with makes changes in the first person that increases likelihood of infection.

Sex triggered UTI is a classic case -- generally, it's the person's own fecal bacteria that populate in the urinary system, whether because of very fluid-filled and vigorous sex that wicks bacteria from the anus, or from something like vaginal sex after anal sex with the penis carrying the bacteria. HOWEVER, treating the man in this example with antibiotics doesn't prevent anything, because he himself is not actually infected. There is no transmission, just a trigger.

Sexually transmitted infections are when an person infected with a microbe has sex with another person, and that sexual contact moves the infection from the one person to the other. Gonorrhea is a classic example.

In the case of actual [b]transmission[/i], treating the infected partner prevents the spread, because once treated, the microbe cannot move from one person to the other.

Fecal bacteria can absolutely enter penis and be in his semen if he has unprotected anal a lot

Listen, if you get a UTI how are you going to know it’s from fecal matter from your partner having anal sex? Genuine question. And if you are so sure that is what he did to cause it then you probably have bigger issues to discuss than if you should use a condom during sex or not.

[Anonymous]

This thread really has it all!

Fecal bacteria can absolutely enter penis

[Anonymous]

"The bottom line of this thread seems to be that dating after 50 is a real minefield with an STI lurking behind every corner. Therefore, women must have the confidence to demand that their dates practice safe sex, but not have the confidence to post their pictures on DCUM."

Nicely stated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"The bottom line of this thread seems to be that dating after 50 is a real minefield with an STI lurking behind every corner. Therefore, women must have the confidence to demand that their dates practice safe sex, but not have the confidence to post their pictures on DCUM."

Nicely stated.

The STI lurking behind every corner killed me.

[Anonymous]

I have never had a man refuse to wear a condom. If they do, then I am not sleeping with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have never had a man refuse to wear a condom. If they do, then I am not sleeping with them.

Yeah I think this is actually very rare. Even though it’s not “preferred” I don’t really see any man foregoing sex because a condom is requested. That said I did have one instance where the guy said he could not keep an erection with a condom. And I did not believe him for a second. Well, we didn’t have sex because he would go soft every time he tried a condom (went through 4 in the trial and error). And we were like 19 so definitely not an age thing. And I have one friend who told me she dated someone with the same issue. So I do think maybe a very small percentage of men have this issue.

[Anonymous]

You shouldn’t have sex after 50. This is gross. You are acting like a teenager.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You shouldn’t have sex after 50. This is gross. You are acting like a teenager.

Are you kidding me? Do you also think married people shouldn’t be having sex after 50? What is wrong with you? People should be having sex until the day they die if it’s feasible and they are healthy enough for it. Sex keeps you young.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You shouldn’t have sex after 50. This is gross. You are acting like a teenager.

I bet you're a lot of fun at parties

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow this thread got derailed.

Middle-aged man here, who has the snip. I get regularly tested, like every few months. Every middle-aged woman I've been with lately is fine with not using a condom. I also evaluate my risk, so for example I like dating someone in health care as they get tested regularly for all kinds of stuff as part of their job; and also there's some women who haven't been with someone in a long time including since their last test. Then for single mothers, they get tested as part of pregnancy so if she's not had sex since then, she's likely to be clean.

Yes, people can lie about this. For me, it's a risk I'm willing to take after evaluating the level of risk. It's more enjoyable without a condom.

How often do YOU get tested?

I get tested every couple months.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow this thread got derailed.

Middle-aged man here, who has the snip. I get regularly tested, like every few months. Every middle-aged woman I've been with lately is fine with not using a condom. I also evaluate my risk, so for example I like dating someone in health care as they get tested regularly for all kinds of stuff as part of their job; and also there's some women who haven't been with someone in a long time including since their last test. Then for single mothers, they get tested as part of pregnancy so if she's not had sex since then, she's likely to be clean.

Yes, people can lie about this. For me, it's a risk I'm willing to take after evaluating the level of risk. It's more enjoyable without a condom.

How often do YOU get tested?

I get tested every couple months.

Personal question, sorry: is that because you change partners all the time? Just curious how it's done for people who date

[Anonymous]

Drvv

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Sextriggered is not the same things as sexually transmitted. The difference matters, especially for public health. The former does not have carriers that can be treated to stop spread, because there is no spread. It's not an infectious microbe that moves from person to person.

Sex triggered infections are infections that are more prone to develop after sex, but are not being transmitted from another infected person. They are being triggered by sex with someone who is not themselves infected, but for whom interaction with makes changes in the first person that increases likelihood of infection.

Sex triggered UTI is a classic case -- generally, it's the person's own fecal bacteria that populate in the urinary system, whether because of very fluid-filled and vigorous sex that wicks bacteria from the anus, or from something like vaginal sex after anal sex with the penis carrying the bacteria. HOWEVER, treating the man in this example with antibiotics doesn't prevent anything, because he himself is not actually infected. There is no transmission, just a trigger.

Sexually transmitted infections are when an person infected with a microbe has sex with another person, and that sexual contact moves the infection from the one person to the other. Gonorrhea is a classic example.

In the case of actual [b]transmission[/i], treating the infected partner prevents the spread, because once treated, the microbe cannot move from one person to the other.

Fecal bacteria can absolutely enter penis and be in his semen if he has unprotected anal a lot

Listen, if you get a UTI how are you going to know it’s from fecal matter from your partner having anal sex? Genuine question. And if you are so sure that is what he did to cause it then you probably have bigger issues to discuss than if you should use a condom during sex or not.

I definitely started getting UTIs when my exH cheated. Never had it prior, even though we were intimate. When men are not exclusive with women and don't use protection, it transfers infections. Just like in thresomes - infections like BV can be transferred from female to female

[Anonymous]

It's been years since my last BF and we were very sexually active, like 4-5 times per week which is a lot for people in their 40s. Thing is, I haven't had a yeast infection since we broke up and I used to have at least one or two a year. I miss sex sometimes and I miss him sometimes but I never miss those yeast infections.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Sextriggered is not the same things as sexually transmitted. The difference matters, especially for public health. The former does not have carriers that can be treated to stop spread, because there is no spread. It's not an infectious microbe that moves from person to person.

Sex triggered infections are infections that are more prone to develop after sex, but are not being transmitted from another infected person. They are being triggered by sex with someone who is not themselves infected, but for whom interaction with makes changes in the first person that increases likelihood of infection.

Sex triggered UTI is a classic case -- generally, it's the person's own fecal bacteria that populate in the urinary system, whether because of very fluid-filled and vigorous sex that wicks bacteria from the anus, or from something like vaginal sex after anal sex with the penis carrying the bacteria. HOWEVER, treating the man in this example with antibiotics doesn't prevent anything, because he himself is not actually infected. There is no transmission, just a trigger.

Sexually transmitted infections are when an person infected with a microbe has sex with another person, and that sexual contact moves the infection from the one person to the other. Gonorrhea is a classic example.

In the case of actual [b]transmission[/i], treating the infected partner prevents the spread, because once treated, the microbe cannot move from one person to the other.

Fecal bacteria can absolutely enter penis and be in his semen if he has unprotected anal a lot

Listen, if you get a UTI how are you going to know it’s from fecal matter from your partner having anal sex? Genuine question. And if you are so sure that is what he did to cause it then you probably have bigger issues to discuss than if you should use a condom during sex or not.

I definitely started getting UTIs when my exH cheated. Never had it prior, even though we were intimate. When men are not exclusive with women and don't use protection, it transfers infections. Just like in thresomes - infections like BV can be transferred from female to female

K