Sleeping with someone for first time when you're over 50

[Anonymous]

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As a man, I can tell you that so many divorced women post-40 are willing to bang without condoms and just a simple ask of “you’re clean, right?” without actually verifying my STD status by trading results. I insist on confoms and you can see the disappointment in their face.

I have a vasectomy. It’s like nectar to bees - women see it as an invite to disregard condoms from the get-go. They assume that because I am responsible enough to get a vasectomy, I’m also responsible enough to avoid catching an STD.

Snipped man here and this is all true IME.

As a sterile woman in my 40s I don’t believe it a bit. I still ask for both STD test AND condoms. All my single friends who ate dating /professional high income women in dmv are also using condoms for dating. Of course if exclusivity is confirmed everyone forgoes condoms. I’m told I’m a beauty so maybe men are more amenable to my terms. Or all these women from the apps you bang are desperate single moms waiting for whoever calls them back after a night of unprotected sex. I also never hook up and had sex with only a few men who actually dated me. Not those who invited to hang out at their place on date 2, without an actual date.

“I’m told I’m a beauty”. Right.

I mean, that’s what men text me after dates. Gorgeous, beauty, pretty..

👄 💨 🍑

They are trying to finagle an invite to the bedroom. The game is the game.

100%. Men say this to every person they are willing to have sex with. I promise you are reading too much into your status as a “beauty”.

I’m happy to post a bathing suit photo if you explain how - Imgur doesn’t work for me for some reason

We require multiple angles. Upload here:
https://imgbb.com/

Can’t show the full face here but sure, here are some.

https://ibb.co/QnCvK0N
https://ibb.co/FxkbTv3
https://ibb.co/tqdPQBq
https://ibb.co/0qTyLkh
https://ibb.co/PZsBrXd
https://ibb.co/L6z8k1z
https://ibb.co/gvhhHMq

Np early 40s guy here. I’m not very picky at all. You’re at best average, not a ’beauty’

Men underestimate their pickiness and entitlement. This google article below describes how an “average ” 40s women look like in a swimsuit.

https://themomedit.com/swim-shop-online-aerie-review-cute-swimsuits-bikinis-women-over-40-dressingroomselfies-laura/

[Anonymous]

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Never came across anyone who insisted on no protection first time having sex!

I never insist or push at all. But if she's cool with no condoms and I get the impression that she's at all thoughtful about sexual health I'm going for it.

I know it's a risk. Don't care. Hasn't bitten me yet.

Just happily passing around BV and UTIs huh 😒

Please educate yourself:
https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/health-and-wellness/urinary-tract-infections-utis

https://www.cdc.gov/bacterial-vaginosis/about/index.html

E.coli causes UTI so if he goes to a...s often with different women it will pass UTI to partners if he doesn't use condom during vaginal intercourse.

I agree.

This particular situation can cause an infection because literal sh*t can get in your vagina. How could you possibly categorize this as an STI? You could have the exact same outcome in your own bathroom. That being said, actual medicinal journals and medical professionals say it’s not an STI. So just because your opinion is different doesn’t change the fact that it’s not. Absolutely you are entitled to believe what you want but I’ll believe NIH and the CDC.

Isn’t PP’s whole point about wearing condoms and getting STI tested? Condoms would prevent this.

Of course a condom would prevent this. My point is that Pp is going on about how UTIs and BV are STIs which they are not. And she used the example of this as a reason why a UTI is an STD-I was just responding saying what I said because it was a ridiculous comparison. That’s all.

Ok but you realize that this is one of those fights you win in theory only. Not clear at all why you’d keep fighting on whether or not this qualifies as a UTI when condom usage until you are exclusive and tested would prevent a whole host of trouble.

STI not UTI.

My point is that it wouldn’t matter if you were exclusive-you could still get a UTI or BV because they are Not STIs! A woman can get these things for so many reasons. Men don’t get tested for UTIs on an std panel because it’s not an std and the UTI itself is not going to spread. And last time I checked a man can’t get BV because of the absence of an actual vagina so that’s not gonna be tested either. Because BV is caused by a woman’s personal reaction to semen-and has nothing to do with the man having any kind of infection.

Well if my "personal reaction" to your semen is to get BV, you're going to be wearing a condom in any event.

Sure. Have him wear a condom and you get on some anxiety medication asap.

Regardless, you should really look stuff up before you make yourself look stupid.

Charming

I would love to be a fly on the wall when this woman eventually tells some man that she can’t see him anymore because he must be cheating on her because he “gave her” a UTI or BV.

That’s not what anybody said.

It’s actually exactly what she said. “You are just going around spreading UTIs and BV” was her exact comment to someone. She thinks it’s an STI and that the man is getting these from women and spreading it to others. So yeah-that is exactly what she said.

She already clarified what she meant by that. You just need to look in the chain you posted.

No, she didn’t. She stood her ground and refused to believe that they weren’t STI’s even with actual factual information. And you said “that’s not what anybody said” and actually it was so forgive me if I don’t think your reading comprehension is up to par.

I directed you up thread. Someone else said “that’s not what anybody said.” Multiple people disagree with you. How do people think only one person on the internet disagrees with them.

Multiple people disagree that BV and UTIs are not STIs? What is wrong with the education of you people? Do a google search. Look on the CDC website or NIH or do you also disagree with them on this issue? UTIs and BV are not STIs-those are facts not an opinion to be disagreed with.

Is it true that some women get UTIs when you ejaculate in them? If so, it is because the man's sperm has some kind of issue?

I remember I used to get multiple utis when I was with a college boyfriend. I was so frustrated and asked my dr why it just kept happening. And he said “some people just have fluid makeups that don’t mix well with each other”. And it’s never happened with anyone else. So I guess I kind of believe it. It’s all about the ph balance. So many things can Throw it off. Once the ph is off it’s pretty much a recipe for infection.

I was getting it with exH because he was f…g another woman . It stopped after we divorced. Just saying.

Well that’s interesting because it’s not an STI-so he couldn’t get it from the other woman and spread it to you. But ok.

Of course men can pick up fecal bacteria from unprotected anal in his semen. That was already proven above. Agree that BV is not an STD but it doesn’t mean protection is not needed early in dating

[Anonymous]

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Never came across anyone who insisted on no protection first time having sex!

I never insist or push at all. But if she's cool with no condoms and I get the impression that she's at all thoughtful about sexual health I'm going for it.

I know it's a risk. Don't care. Hasn't bitten me yet.

Just happily passing around BV and UTIs huh 😒

Please educate yourself:
https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/health-and-wellness/urinary-tract-infections-utis

https://www.cdc.gov/bacterial-vaginosis/about/index.html

E.coli causes UTI so if he goes to a...s often with different women it will pass UTI to partners if he doesn't use condom during vaginal intercourse.

I agree.

This particular situation can cause an infection because literal sh*t can get in your vagina. How could you possibly categorize this as an STI? You could have the exact same outcome in your own bathroom. That being said, actual medicinal journals and medical professionals say it’s not an STI. So just because your opinion is different doesn’t change the fact that it’s not. Absolutely you are entitled to believe what you want but I’ll believe NIH and the CDC.

Isn’t PP’s whole point about wearing condoms and getting STI tested? Condoms would prevent this.

Of course a condom would prevent this. My point is that Pp is going on about how UTIs and BV are STIs which they are not. And she used the example of this as a reason why a UTI is an STD-I was just responding saying what I said because it was a ridiculous comparison. That’s all.

Ok but you realize that this is one of those fights you win in theory only. Not clear at all why you’d keep fighting on whether or not this qualifies as a UTI when condom usage until you are exclusive and tested would prevent a whole host of trouble.

STI not UTI.

My point is that it wouldn’t matter if you were exclusive-you could still get a UTI or BV because they are Not STIs! A woman can get these things for so many reasons. Men don’t get tested for UTIs on an std panel because it’s not an std and the UTI itself is not going to spread. And last time I checked a man can’t get BV because of the absence of an actual vagina so that’s not gonna be tested either. Because BV is caused by a woman’s personal reaction to semen-and has nothing to do with the man having any kind of infection.

Well if my "personal reaction" to your semen is to get BV, you're going to be wearing a condom in any event.

Sure. Have him wear a condom and you get on some anxiety medication asap.

Regardless, you should really look stuff up before you make yourself look stupid.

Charming

I would love to be a fly on the wall when this woman eventually tells some man that she can’t see him anymore because he must be cheating on her because he “gave her” a UTI or BV.

That’s not what anybody said.

It’s actually exactly what she said. “You are just going around spreading UTIs and BV” was her exact comment to someone. She thinks it’s an STI and that the man is getting these from women and spreading it to others. So yeah-that is exactly what she said.

She already clarified what she meant by that. You just need to look in the chain you posted.

No, she didn’t. She stood her ground and refused to believe that they weren’t STI’s even with actual factual information. And you said “that’s not what anybody said” and actually it was so forgive me if I don’t think your reading comprehension is up to par.

I directed you up thread. Someone else said “that’s not what anybody said.” Multiple people disagree with you. How do people think only one person on the internet disagrees with them.

Multiple people disagree that BV and UTIs are not STIs? What is wrong with the education of you people? Do a google search. Look on the CDC website or NIH or do you also disagree with them on this issue? UTIs and BV are not STIs-those are facts not an opinion to be disagreed with.

Is it true that some women get UTIs when you ejaculate in them? If so, it is because the man's sperm has some kind of issue?

I remember I used to get multiple utis when I was with a college boyfriend. I was so frustrated and asked my dr why it just kept happening. And he said “some people just have fluid makeups that don’t mix well with each other”. And it’s never happened with anyone else. So I guess I kind of believe it. It’s all about the ph balance. So many things can Throw it off. Once the ph is off it’s pretty much a recipe for infection.

I was getting it with exH because he was f…g another woman . It stopped after we divorced. Just saying.

Well that’s interesting because it’s not an STI-so he couldn’t get it from the other woman and spread it to you. But ok.

Of course men can pick up fecal bacteria from unprotected anal in his semen. That was already proven above. Agree that BV is not an STD but it doesn’t mean protection is not needed early in dating

Are these men honestly having unprotected anal and then immediately going to have sex with someone else without even taking a shower? I literally cannot imagine this scenario.

[Anonymous]

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Never came across anyone who insisted on no protection first time having sex!

I never insist or push at all. But if she's cool with no condoms and I get the impression that she's at all thoughtful about sexual health I'm going for it.

I know it's a risk. Don't care. Hasn't bitten me yet.

Just happily passing around BV and UTIs huh 😒

Please educate yourself:
https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/health-and-wellness/urinary-tract-infections-utis

https://www.cdc.gov/bacterial-vaginosis/about/index.html

E.coli causes UTI so if he goes to a...s often with different women it will pass UTI to partners if he doesn't use condom during vaginal intercourse.

I agree.

This particular situation can cause an infection because literal sh*t can get in your vagina. How could you possibly categorize this as an STI? You could have the exact same outcome in your own bathroom. That being said, actual medicinal journals and medical professionals say it’s not an STI. So just because your opinion is different doesn’t change the fact that it’s not. Absolutely you are entitled to believe what you want but I’ll believe NIH and the CDC.

Isn’t PP’s whole point about wearing condoms and getting STI tested? Condoms would prevent this.

Of course a condom would prevent this. My point is that Pp is going on about how UTIs and BV are STIs which they are not. And she used the example of this as a reason why a UTI is an STD-I was just responding saying what I said because it was a ridiculous comparison. That’s all.

Ok but you realize that this is one of those fights you win in theory only. Not clear at all why you’d keep fighting on whether or not this qualifies as a UTI when condom usage until you are exclusive and tested would prevent a whole host of trouble.

STI not UTI.

My point is that it wouldn’t matter if you were exclusive-you could still get a UTI or BV because they are Not STIs! A woman can get these things for so many reasons. Men don’t get tested for UTIs on an std panel because it’s not an std and the UTI itself is not going to spread. And last time I checked a man can’t get BV because of the absence of an actual vagina so that’s not gonna be tested either. Because BV is caused by a woman’s personal reaction to semen-and has nothing to do with the man having any kind of infection.

Well if my "personal reaction" to your semen is to get BV, you're going to be wearing a condom in any event.

Sure. Have him wear a condom and you get on some anxiety medication asap.

Regardless, you should really look stuff up before you make yourself look stupid.

Charming

I would love to be a fly on the wall when this woman eventually tells some man that she can’t see him anymore because he must be cheating on her because he “gave her” a UTI or BV.

That’s not what anybody said.

It’s actually exactly what she said. “You are just going around spreading UTIs and BV” was her exact comment to someone. She thinks it’s an STI and that the man is getting these from women and spreading it to others. So yeah-that is exactly what she said.

She already clarified what she meant by that. You just need to look in the chain you posted.

No, she didn’t. She stood her ground and refused to believe that they weren’t STI’s even with actual factual information. And you said “that’s not what anybody said” and actually it was so forgive me if I don’t think your reading comprehension is up to par.

I directed you up thread. Someone else said “that’s not what anybody said.” Multiple people disagree with you. How do people think only one person on the internet disagrees with them.

Multiple people disagree that BV and UTIs are not STIs? What is wrong with the education of you people? Do a google search. Look on the CDC website or NIH or do you also disagree with them on this issue? UTIs and BV are not STIs-those are facts not an opinion to be disagreed with.

Is it true that some women get UTIs when you ejaculate in them? If so, it is because the man's sperm has some kind of issue?

I remember I used to get multiple utis when I was with a college boyfriend. I was so frustrated and asked my dr why it just kept happening. And he said “some people just have fluid makeups that don’t mix well with each other”. And it’s never happened with anyone else. So I guess I kind of believe it. It’s all about the ph balance. So many things can Throw it off. Once the ph is off it’s pretty much a recipe for infection.

I was getting it with exH because he was f…g another woman . It stopped after we divorced. Just saying.

Well that’s interesting because it’s not an STI-so he couldn’t get it from the other woman and spread it to you. But ok.

Of course men can pick up fecal bacteria from unprotected anal in his semen. That was already proven above. Agree that BV is not an STD but it doesn’t mean protection is not needed early in dating

Are these men honestly having unprotected anal and then immediately going to have sex with someone else without even taking a shower? I literally cannot imagine this scenario.

They do take shower but bacteria lives in semen if they are sheets exposed to unprotected A. Takes antibiotic treatment to get rid of it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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As a man, I can tell you that so many divorced women post-40 are willing to bang without condoms and just a simple ask of “you’re clean, right?” without actually verifying my STD status by trading results. I insist on confoms and you can see the disappointment in their face.

I have a vasectomy. It’s like nectar to bees - women see it as an invite to disregard condoms from the get-go. They assume that because I am responsible enough to get a vasectomy, I’m also responsible enough to avoid catching an STD.

Snipped man here and this is all true IME.

As a sterile woman in my 40s I don’t believe it a bit. I still ask for both STD test AND condoms. All my single friends who ate dating /professional high income women in dmv are also using condoms for dating. Of course if exclusivity is confirmed everyone forgoes condoms. I’m told I’m a beauty so maybe men are more amenable to my terms. Or all these women from the apps you bang are desperate single moms waiting for whoever calls them back after a night of unprotected sex. I also never hook up and had sex with only a few men who actually dated me. Not those who invited to hang out at their place on date 2, without an actual date.

“I’m told I’m a beauty”. Right.

I mean, that’s what men text me after dates. Gorgeous, beauty, pretty..

👄 💨 🍑

They are trying to finagle an invite to the bedroom. The game is the game.

100%. Men say this to every person they are willing to have sex with. I promise you are reading too much into your status as a “beauty”.

I’m happy to post a bathing suit photo if you explain how - Imgur doesn’t work for me for some reason

We require multiple angles. Upload here:
https://imgbb.com/

Can’t show the full face here but sure, here are some.

https://ibb.co/QnCvK0N
https://ibb.co/FxkbTv3
https://ibb.co/tqdPQBq
https://ibb.co/0qTyLkh
https://ibb.co/PZsBrXd
https://ibb.co/L6z8k1z
https://ibb.co/gvhhHMq

Np early 40s guy here. I’m not very picky at all. You’re at best average, not a ’beauty’

Men underestimate their pickiness and entitlement. This google article below describes how an “average ” 40s woman look like in a swimsuit.

https://themomedit.com/swim-shop-online-aerie-review-cute-swimsuits-bikinis-women-over-40-dressingroomselfies-laura/

And one more link on averages: post age 40 an average BMI for a woman in the US is 30

https://www.statista.com/statistics/955068/adult-female-bmi-average-us-by-age/#:~:text=Average%20adult%20female%20BMI%20in,1999%20to%202016%2C%20by%20age&text=This%20statistic%20depicts%20the%20average,30.4%20as%20of%202015%2D2016.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Public Service Announcement: Japanese condoms are much better because they are much thinner. Half the time I can't finish with American brands. Japanese brands almost never have the same frustrating effect.

I have to try them thanks for sharing. Maybe I'm in pre ED phase but I just can't keep an erection with condom or maybe years of no condoms with ex wife is the reason.

A woman here: can you share a link to best Japanese ones? Is there a universal size? I want to buy a pack for my purse but not sure how to go about sizes

I like 0.04 and Wink brand condoms, both made by Okamoto and available on many online sites. I rarely see them in stores.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

As a man, I can tell you that so many divorced women post-40 are willing to bang without condoms and just a simple ask of “you’re clean, right?” without actually verifying my STD status by trading results. I insist on confoms and you can see the disappointment in their face.

I have a vasectomy. It’s like nectar to bees - women see it as an invite to disregard condoms from the get-go. They assume that because I am responsible enough to get a vasectomy, I’m also responsible enough to avoid catching an STD.

Snipped man here and this is all true IME.

As a sterile woman in my 40s I don’t believe it a bit. I still ask for both STD test AND condoms. All my single friends who ate dating /professional high income women in dmv are also using condoms for dating. Of course if exclusivity is confirmed everyone forgoes condoms. I’m told I’m a beauty so maybe men are more amenable to my terms. Or all these women from the apps you bang are desperate single moms waiting for whoever calls them back after a night of unprotected sex. I also never hook up and had sex with only a few men who actually dated me. Not those who invited to hang out at their place on date 2, without an actual date.

“I’m told I’m a beauty”. Right.

I mean, that’s what men text me after dates. Gorgeous, beauty, pretty..

👄 💨 🍑

They are trying to finagle an invite to the bedroom. The game is the game.

100%. Men say this to every person they are willing to have sex with. I promise you are reading too much into your status as a “beauty”.

I’m happy to post a bathing suit photo if you explain how - Imgur doesn’t work for me for some reason

We require multiple angles. Upload here:
https://imgbb.com/

Can’t show the full face here but sure, here are some.

https://ibb.co/QnCvK0N
https://ibb.co/FxkbTv3
https://ibb.co/tqdPQBq
https://ibb.co/0qTyLkh
https://ibb.co/PZsBrXd
https://ibb.co/L6z8k1z
https://ibb.co/gvhhHMq

Np early 40s guy here. I’m not very picky at all. You’re at best average, not a ’beauty’

Men underestimate their pickiness and entitlement. This google article below describes how an “average ” 40s woman look like in a swimsuit.

https://themomedit.com/swim-shop-online-aerie-review-cute-swimsuits-bikinis-women-over-40-dressingroomselfies-laura/

And one more link on averages: post age 40 an average BMI for a woman in the US is 30

https://www.statista.com/statistics/955068/adult-female-bmi-average-us-by-age/#:~:text=Average%20adult%20female%20BMI%20in,1999%20to%202016%2C%20by%20age&text=This%20statistic%20depicts%20the%20average,30.4%20as%20of%202015%2D2016.

:shock:

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

As a man, I can tell you that so many divorced women post-40 are willing to bang without condoms and just a simple ask of “you’re clean, right?” without actually verifying my STD status by trading results. I insist on confoms and you can see the disappointment in their face.

I have a vasectomy. It’s like nectar to bees - women see it as an invite to disregard condoms from the get-go. They assume that because I am responsible enough to get a vasectomy, I’m also responsible enough to avoid catching an STD.

Snipped man here and this is all true IME.

As a sterile woman in my 40s I don’t believe it a bit. I still ask for both STD test AND condoms. All my single friends who ate dating /professional high income women in dmv are also using condoms for dating. Of course if exclusivity is confirmed everyone forgoes condoms. I’m told I’m a beauty so maybe men are more amenable to my terms. Or all these women from the apps you bang are desperate single moms waiting for whoever calls them back after a night of unprotected sex. I also never hook up and had sex with only a few men who actually dated me. Not those who invited to hang out at their place on date 2, without an actual date.

“I’m told I’m a beauty”. Right.

I mean, that’s what men text me after dates. Gorgeous, beauty, pretty..

👄 💨 🍑

They are trying to finagle an invite to the bedroom. The game is the game.

100%. Men say this to every person they are willing to have sex with. I promise you are reading too much into your status as a “beauty”.

I’m happy to post a bathing suit photo if you explain how - Imgur doesn’t work for me for some reason

We require multiple angles. Upload here:
https://imgbb.com/

Can’t show the full face here but sure, here are some.

https://ibb.co/QnCvK0N
https://ibb.co/FxkbTv3
https://ibb.co/tqdPQBq
https://ibb.co/0qTyLkh
https://ibb.co/PZsBrXd
https://ibb.co/L6z8k1z
https://ibb.co/gvhhHMq

Np early 40s guy here. I’m not very picky at all. You’re at best average, not a ’beauty’

Men underestimate their pickiness and entitlement. This google article below describes how an “average ” 40s woman look like in a swimsuit.

https://themomedit.com/swim-shop-online-aerie-review-cute-swimsuits-bikinis-women-over-40-dressingroomselfies-laura/

And one more link on averages: post age 40 an average BMI for a woman in the US is 30

https://www.statista.com/statistics/955068/adult-female-bmi-average-us-by-age/#:~:text=Average%20adult%20female%20BMI%20in,1999%20to%202016%2C%20by%20age&text=This%20statistic%20depicts%20the%20average,30.4%20as%20of%202015%2D2016.

:shock:

Just dry stats :) The woman from the posted gallery is average relative the news anchors, actresses, reality shows participants and Instagram influences he sees in mass media. But in reality the body is very much outside standard relative general US population. So we get it about misogyny that even women in good shape deal with on OLD. A statistically likely fat guy would think a woman of 20-24 BMI is average at best and that he deserves a 20yo top model.

Here’s another gallery of “average looking” women that he uses as his benchmark standard:

https://www.quora.com/Why-do-average-women-feel-beautiful

[Anonymous]

Wow this thread got derailed.

Middle-aged man here, who has the snip. I get regularly tested, like every few months. Every middle-aged woman I've been with lately is fine with not using a condom. I also evaluate my risk, so for example I like dating someone in health care as they get tested regularly for all kinds of stuff as part of their job; and also there's some women who haven't been with someone in a long time including since their last test. Then for single mothers, they get tested as part of pregnancy so if she's not had sex since then, she's likely to be clean.

Yes, people can lie about this. For me, it's a risk I'm willing to take after evaluating the level of risk. It's more enjoyable without a condom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow this thread got derailed.

Middle-aged man here, who has the snip. I get regularly tested, like every few months. Every middle-aged woman I've been with lately is fine with not using a condom. I also evaluate my risk, so for example I like dating someone in health care as they get tested regularly for all kinds of stuff as part of their job; and also there's some women who haven't been with someone in a long time including since their last test. Then for single mothers, they get tested as part of pregnancy so if she's not had sex since then, she's likely to be clean.

Yes, people can lie about this. For me, it's a risk I'm willing to take after evaluating the level of risk. It's more enjoyable without a condom.

Are you testing yourself ? Anyone asked you to share the test ?

[Anonymous]

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Never came across anyone who insisted on no protection first time having sex!

I never insist or push at all. But if she's cool with no condoms and I get the impression that she's at all thoughtful about sexual health I'm going for it.

I know it's a risk. Don't care. Hasn't bitten me yet.

Just happily passing around BV and UTIs huh 😒

Please educate yourself:
https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/health-and-wellness/urinary-tract-infections-utis

https://www.cdc.gov/bacterial-vaginosis/about/index.html

E.coli causes UTI so if he goes to a...s often with different women it will pass UTI to partners if he doesn't use condom during vaginal intercourse.

I agree.

This particular situation can cause an infection because literal sh*t can get in your vagina. How could you possibly categorize this as an STI? You could have the exact same outcome in your own bathroom. That being said, actual medicinal journals and medical professionals say it’s not an STI. So just because your opinion is different doesn’t change the fact that it’s not. Absolutely you are entitled to believe what you want but I’ll believe NIH and the CDC.

Isn’t PP’s whole point about wearing condoms and getting STI tested? Condoms would prevent this.

Of course a condom would prevent this. My point is that Pp is going on about how UTIs and BV are STIs which they are not. And she used the example of this as a reason why a UTI is an STD-I was just responding saying what I said because it was a ridiculous comparison. That’s all.

Ok but you realize that this is one of those fights you win in theory only. Not clear at all why you’d keep fighting on whether or not this qualifies as a UTI when condom usage until you are exclusive and tested would prevent a whole host of trouble.

STI not UTI.

My point is that it wouldn’t matter if you were exclusive-you could still get a UTI or BV because they are Not STIs! A woman can get these things for so many reasons. Men don’t get tested for UTIs on an std panel because it’s not an std and the UTI itself is not going to spread. And last time I checked a man can’t get BV because of the absence of an actual vagina so that’s not gonna be tested either. Because BV is caused by a woman’s personal reaction to semen-and has nothing to do with the man having any kind of infection.

Well if my "personal reaction" to your semen is to get BV, you're going to be wearing a condom in any event.

Sure. Have him wear a condom and you get on some anxiety medication asap.

Regardless, you should really look stuff up before you make yourself look stupid.

Charming

I would love to be a fly on the wall when this woman eventually tells some man that she can’t see him anymore because he must be cheating on her because he “gave her” a UTI or BV.

That’s not what anybody said.

It’s actually exactly what she said. “You are just going around spreading UTIs and BV” was her exact comment to someone. She thinks it’s an STI and that the man is getting these from women and spreading it to others. So yeah-that is exactly what she said.

She already clarified what she meant by that. You just need to look in the chain you posted.

No, she didn’t. She stood her ground and refused to believe that they weren’t STI’s even with actual factual information. And you said “that’s not what anybody said” and actually it was so forgive me if I don’t think your reading comprehension is up to par.

I directed you up thread. Someone else said “that’s not what anybody said.” Multiple people disagree with you. How do people think only one person on the internet disagrees with them.

Multiple people disagree that BV and UTIs are not STIs? What is wrong with the education of you people? Do a google search. Look on the CDC website or NIH or do you also disagree with them on this issue? UTIs and BV are not STIs-those are facts not an opinion to be disagreed with.

Is it true that some women get UTIs when you ejaculate in them? If so, it is because the man's sperm has some kind of issue?

I remember I used to get multiple utis when I was with a college boyfriend. I was so frustrated and asked my dr why it just kept happening. And he said “some people just have fluid makeups that don’t mix well with each other”. And it’s never happened with anyone else. So I guess I kind of believe it. It’s all about the ph balance. So many things can Throw it off. Once the ph is off it’s pretty much a recipe for infection.

I was getting it with exH because he was f…g another woman . It stopped after we divorced. Just saying.

Well that’s interesting because it’s not an STI-so he couldn’t get it from the other woman and spread it to you. But ok.

Of course men can pick up fecal bacteria from unprotected anal in his semen. That was already proven above. Agree that BV is not an STD but it doesn’t mean protection is not needed early in dating

Are these men honestly having unprotected anal and then immediately going to have sex with someone else without even taking a shower? I literally cannot imagine this scenario.

Not to put too fine a point on it, this behavior sounds very gay...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow this thread got derailed.

Middle-aged man here, who has the snip. I get regularly tested, like every few months. Every middle-aged woman I've been with lately is fine with not using a condom. I also evaluate my risk, so for example I like dating someone in health care as they get tested regularly for all kinds of stuff as part of their job; and also there's some women who haven't been with someone in a long time including since their last test. Then for single mothers, they get tested as part of pregnancy so if she's not had sex since then, she's likely to be clean.

Yes, people can lie about this. For me, it's a risk I'm willing to take after evaluating the level of risk. It's more enjoyable without a condom.

How often do YOU get tested?

[Anonymous]

Sextriggered is not the same things as sexually transmitted. The difference matters, especially for public health. The former does not have carriers that can be treated to stop spread, because there is no spread. It's not an infectious microbe that moves from person to person.

Sex triggered infections are infections that are more prone to develop after sex, but are not being transmitted from another infected person. They are being triggered by sex with someone who is not themselves infected, but for whom interaction with makes changes in the first person that increases likelihood of infection.

Sex triggered UTI is a classic case -- generally, it's the person's own fecal bacteria that populate in the urinary system, whether because of very fluid-filled and vigorous sex that wicks bacteria from the anus, or from something like vaginal sex after anal sex with the penis carrying the bacteria. HOWEVER, treating the man in this example with antibiotics doesn't prevent anything, because he himself is not actually infected. There is no transmission, just a trigger.

Sexually transmitted infections are when an person infected with a microbe has sex with another person, and that sexual contact moves the infection from the one person to the other. Gonorrhea is a classic example.

In the case of actual [b]transmission[/i], treating the infected partner prevents the spread, because once treated, the microbe cannot move from one person to the other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Sextriggered is not the same things as sexually transmitted. The difference matters, especially for public health. The former does not have carriers that can be treated to stop spread, because there is no spread. It's not an infectious microbe that moves from person to person.

Sex triggered infections are infections that are more prone to develop after sex, but are not being transmitted from another infected person. They are being triggered by sex with someone who is not themselves infected, but for whom interaction with makes changes in the first person that increases likelihood of infection.

Sex triggered UTI is a classic case -- generally, it's the person's own fecal bacteria that populate in the urinary system, whether because of very fluid-filled and vigorous sex that wicks bacteria from the anus, or from something like vaginal sex after anal sex with the penis carrying the bacteria. HOWEVER, treating the man in this example with antibiotics doesn't prevent anything, because he himself is not actually infected. There is no transmission, just a trigger.

Sexually transmitted infections are when an person infected with a microbe has sex with another person, and that sexual contact moves the infection from the one person to the other. Gonorrhea is a classic example.

In the case of actual [b]transmission[/i], treating the infected partner prevents the spread, because once treated, the microbe cannot move from one person to the other.

Fecal bacteria can absolutely enter penis and be in his semen if he has unprotected anal a lot

[Anonymous]

For those of you who have been following this thread but have not yet read Jeff's summary of it, do yourself a favor.

Nicely done, Jeff!