Sleeping with someone for first time when you're over 50

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not quite over 50 but within a few years of it. ED issues seem to appear in some men in their 40s. I'm a woman and I prefer no condom. To be honest, I've required testing before, but I usually just do a risk assessment, and many of the men I've been with are fairly low risk. Lots of men in my age group are not sleeping around. I'm tested regularly and I have yet to get anything.

Some men will insist on condoms, and that's great. I assume they are the ones that are sleeping around.

I suggest bringing this up before the date, especially if you want to ask for testing. And if a condom is not negotiable for you, that's a perfectly reasonable boundary. But I wouldn't spring it on him in the moment. Mature adults should be able to talk about this ahead of time.

This is insane: I got ureaplasma from first partner post divorce. He used condom but not always. The symptoms were not fun, I must tell you. A high profile attorney who was married for 20 years.

Ureaplasma is present in a good percentage of men and women even if they never had sex at all. That’s why even though it can be spread through sexual contact it’s not considered an STI. something like 60% of women have this-regardless of sexual contact.

You seem to be confused - it’s an STI with painful not possible to ignore signs.I couldn’t pee without sharp pain. Please show your stats source

PP is correct. Anywhere you Google. Start with NIH Journal

“Ureaplasma can also be found in normal, healthy genital tracts. If a colony of Ureaplasma overgrows, it can cause irritation, without there needing to have been any risky behaviour.”

Well, it “outgrew” apparently just as I had a new sex partner. He wasn’t a Ho - I’m just saying men are not tested routinely for many things that can cause issues fig women. And he was using condoms until we both tested (standard panel) and cane off them in 2 months.
I can only imagine what folks that do not use condoms might have !

[Anonymous]

Public Service Announcement: Japanese condoms are much better because they are much thinner. Half the time I can't finish with American brands. Japanese brands almost never have the same frustrating effect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Public Service Announcement: Japanese condoms are much better because they are much thinner. Half the time I can't finish with American brands. Japanese brands almost never have the same frustrating effect.

I have to try them thanks for sharing. Maybe I'm in pre ED phase but I just can't keep an erection with condom or maybe years of no condoms with ex wife is the reason.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t talk about it at all. He wears a condom until you are confident you will be exclusive and then tests beforehand. If he has a problem that’s a red flag.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Public Service Announcement: Japanese condoms are much better because they are much thinner. Half the time I can't finish with American brands. Japanese brands almost never have the same frustrating effect.

I have to try them thanks for sharing. Maybe I'm in pre ED phase but I just can't keep an erection with condom or maybe years of no condoms with ex wife is the reason.

Condoms actually should help staying power not another way around. It’s in your head or maybe you need ED medicine. But keep wearing condoms

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Public Service Announcement: Japanese condoms are much better because they are much thinner. Half the time I can't finish with American brands. Japanese brands almost never have the same frustrating effect.

I have to try them thanks for sharing. Maybe I'm in pre ED phase but I just can't keep an erection with condom or maybe years of no condoms with ex wife is the reason.

A woman here: can you share a link to best Japanese ones? Is there a universal size? I want to buy a pack for my purse but not sure how to go about sizes

[Anonymous]

Guy here. Lelo hex condoms are okay. They’re on Amazon and at Wegmans.

With good lube they’re okay.

The real thing is still 50x better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Guy here. Lelo hex condoms are okay. They’re on Amazon and at Wegmans.

With good lube they’re okay.

The real thing is still 50x better.

Are they Japanese? Standard size for all?

If you want a real thing - commit. You can’t f..k around dozens of women without a condom until you find “the one”. It’s spreading decease

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Guy here. Lelo hex condoms are okay. They’re on Amazon and at Wegmans.

With good lube they’re okay.

The real thing is still 50x better.

Are they Japanese? Standard size for all?

If you want a real thing - commit. You can’t f..k around dozens of women without a condom until you find “the one”. It’s spreading decease

There are two sizes.

[Anonymous]

Men: Use condoms if you want sex.

Women: Wax if you want oral.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm 52 and dating and none of the guys I date ever talk about this stuff. They just assume they can raw dog it like they did with their wives. I wish they were more concerned about it. I wish they just assumed they should use condoms. I would prefer to use them. I still get regular periods, and while pregnancy is unlikely, it's not impossible. The ideal is a guy who's had a vasectomy and hasn't dated a zillion women since his divorce.

It is so weird that you put do not take control over your own risk of infection (including HIV!).

Why do you passively say, “I wish the preferred it, like I do.”

Use your words.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men: Use condoms if you want sex.

Women: Wax if you want oral.

Waxing is a lot less comfortable than condoms!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t talk about it at all. He wears a condom until you are confident you will be exclusive and then tests beforehand. If he has a problem that’s a red flag.

This.

It is the ticket required for admission .

(Should not come as a surprise to a sexually active guy in this day and age.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My sense is that once a woman is 50 and no longer at risk of pregnancy, lots of people want to forego condoms. I don't.

Started seeing someone and we're at the point where we're likely going to sleep together the next time we meet up. What's the protocol for this these days? I've been tested for STDs very recently and have the results on my phone to show him if asked. Can I expect that a man of this generation has also thought to get tested or should I give him a heads up well before our next date?

I imagine that during dinner, before things get physical, I bring it up and do my "disclosures" about my STD status and ask for his. I also want to warn or alert him about some large scars that I have so he isn't wondering or shocked. I would say during this conversation that I want to use condoms until we are ready to both commit to exclusivity.

Does this sound right? Is this when he might tell me that he uses Viagra or that he has trouble with getting or staying there? Do men tell their new partners about this or is this something they just handle on their own?

Anything else?

Candidly, no one uses rubbers. It doesn’t feel good.

You are not having sex with smart, empowered women.

And your practices make you much less appealing to women with options.

(Oh, and they are not called rubbers anymore.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Asked him to wear a condom and he blocked me. Never heard from him again. Two guys in late 50s wouldn’t wear one.

Guy question: please explain why a guy in 50s would be nervous about performance. I understand in 20s but in 50s I am 100% confident and free. We’ve had a lifetime of experience. I have never felt less inhibited. So surprised that a man would be nervous. What’s there even to perform ? It’s natural. So frustrating as a woman.

You dodged a bullet with those guys.

Just shows that they are mixing it up with zero barrier among all of the women they swiped on before you.

No thanks!