Teenage daughter troubles

[Anonymous]

You need to be done. Done.

All the posters saying how the mom raised the daughter all by herself are crazy whack-jobs.

Your daughter is old enough to seek a relationship if she wants to. As other posters said, she is at a selfish age & may mature as she has more life experience. She may reach out to you. She may not.

Regardless, stop being an ATM. Tell the daughter where you are if she wants to talk, but stop sending the money.

It's not like you have to pay for American-priced college if she is going in Germany anyway. She is at no disadvantage.

You have an American family. Lucky you! Focus on them with the understanding that the adult daughter may want to join it one day. (But don't hold your breath).

[Anonymous]

lol @ the one, lonely bitter woman taking the mom's side in this thread. Who hurt you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:lol @ the one, lonely bitter woman taking the mom's side in this thread. Who hurt you?

I'm neither lonely nor bitter. I live with my husband who is an excellent, actual father. I just think it's hilarious how a "dad" who's done exactly the legal minimum can claim to be aggrieved and get automatic "yeah women are always alienating kids" comments. Alienate from what? He lived on another continent. And his complaint isn't that he doesn't see his daughter enough, or know her better, it's that *she* doesn't call *him* on his birthday. Who hurt you to have such low expectations of men?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:lol @ the one, lonely bitter woman taking the mom's side in this thread. Who hurt you?

I'm neither lonely nor bitter. I live with my husband who is an excellent, actual father. I just think it's hilarious how a "dad" who's done exactly the legal minimum can claim to be aggrieved and get automatic "yeah women are always alienating kids" comments. Alienate from what? He lived on another continent. And his complaint isn't that he doesn't see his daughter enough, or know her better, it's that *she* doesn't call *him* on his birthday. Who hurt you to have such low expectations of men?

I'm another pp defending the mother, and not the PP above. Presumably there are others as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:lol @ the one, lonely bitter woman taking the mom's side in this thread. Who hurt you?

I'm neither lonely nor bitter. I live with my husband who is an excellent, actual father. I just think it's hilarious how a "dad" who's done exactly the legal minimum can claim to be aggrieved and get automatic "yeah women are always alienating kids" comments. Alienate from what? He lived on another continent. And his complaint isn't that he doesn't see his daughter enough, or know her better, it's that *she* doesn't call *him* on his birthday. Who hurt you to have such low expectations of men?

OP here I offered to have her live with and to go to high school here. Her mother would not allow it. All visits were surprised. When my daughter came here the mom came too with her brother. I flew multiple times a year.
The mom said in her recent email all troubles started when k remarried and had my daughter. This is not true not fair to blame a baby. I have multiple emails dating back to 2004. Some where she said my daughter doesn't want to speak to me as no Christmas gift arrived on time. Or child support wasn't the amount she wanted. I'm sorry big which 10 year old asks for pay stubs??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:lol @ the one, lonely bitter woman taking the mom's side in this thread. Who hurt you?

I'm neither lonely nor bitter. I live with my husband who is an excellent, actual father. I just think it's hilarious how a "dad" who's done exactly the legal minimum can claim to be aggrieved and get automatic "yeah women are always alienating kids" comments. Alienate from what? He lived on another continent. And his complaint isn't that he doesn't see his daughter enough, or know her better, it's that *she* doesn't call *him* on his birthday. Who hurt you to have such low expectations of men?

OP here I offered to have her live with and to go to high school here. Her mother would not allow it. All visits were surprised. When my daughter came here the mom came too with her brother. I flew multiple times a year.
The mom said in her recent email all troubles started when k remarried and had my daughter. This is not true not fair to blame a baby. I have multiple emails dating back to 2004. Some where she said my daughter doesn't want to speak to me as no Christmas gift arrived on time. Or child support wasn't the amount she wanted. I'm sorry big which 10 year old asks for pay stubs??

*** visits were supervised sorry

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:lol @ the one, lonely bitter woman taking the mom's side in this thread. Who hurt you?

I'm neither lonely nor bitter. I live with my husband who is an excellent, actual father. I just think it's hilarious how a "dad" who's done exactly the legal minimum can claim to be aggrieved and get automatic "yeah women are always alienating kids" comments. Alienate from what? He lived on another continent. And his complaint isn't that he doesn't see his daughter enough, or know her better, it's that *she* doesn't call *him* on his birthday. Who hurt you to have such low expectations of men?

OP here I offered to have her live with and to go to high school here. Her mother would not allow it. All visits were surprised. When my daughter came here the mom came too with her brother. I flew multiple times a year.
The mom said in her recent email all troubles started when k remarried and had my daughter. This is not true not fair to blame a baby. I have multiple emails dating back to 2004. Some where she said my daughter doesn't want to speak to me as no Christmas gift arrived on time. Or child support wasn't the amount she wanted. I'm sorry big which 10 year old asks for pay stubs??

*** visits were supervised sorry

I would also like to add my current wife and daughter had a good relationship. My wife made an effort to get to know her, fly and meet her and when she visited here she took her to do all the activities she wanted

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:lol @ the one, lonely bitter woman taking the mom's side in this thread. Who hurt you?

I'm neither lonely nor bitter. I live with my husband who is an excellent, actual father. I just think it's hilarious how a "dad" who's done exactly the legal minimum can claim to be aggrieved and get automatic "yeah women are always alienating kids" comments. Alienate from what? He lived on another continent. And his complaint isn't that he doesn't see his daughter enough, or know her better, it's that *she* doesn't call *him* on his birthday. Who hurt you to have such low expectations of men?

OP here I offered to have her live with and to go to high school here. Her mother would not allow it. All visits were surprised. When my daughter came here the mom came too with her brother. I flew multiple times a year.
The mom said in her recent email all troubles started when k remarried and had my daughter. This is not true not fair to blame a baby. I have multiple emails dating back to 2004. Some where she said my daughter doesn't want to speak to me as no Christmas gift arrived on time. Or child support wasn't the amount she wanted. I'm sorry big which 10 year old asks for pay stubs??

Not having a gift arrive on time is important to children. They're childish. You blame the MOM for that? Because she was the one explaining it to you in an email? Also, your offer to uproot her and have her attend high school in the US, do you really think a teenager would want to do that? You sound totally unrealistic and willing to blame all of your problems on the mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:lol @ the one, lonely bitter woman taking the mom's side in this thread. Who hurt you?

I'm neither lonely nor bitter. I live with my husband who is an excellent, actual father. I just think it's hilarious how a "dad" who's done exactly the legal minimum can claim to be aggrieved and get automatic "yeah women are always alienating kids" comments. Alienate from what? He lived on another continent. And his complaint isn't that he doesn't see his daughter enough, or know her better, it's that *she* doesn't call *him* on his birthday. Who hurt you to have such low expectations of men?

OP here I offered to have her live with and to go to high school here. Her mother would not allow it. All visits were surprised. When my daughter came here the mom came too with her brother. I flew multiple times a year.
The mom said in her recent email all troubles started when k remarried and had my daughter. This is not true not fair to blame a baby. I have multiple emails dating back to 2004. Some where she said my daughter doesn't want to speak to me as no Christmas gift arrived on time. Or child support wasn't the amount she wanted. I'm sorry big which 10 year old asks for pay stubs??

Not having a gift arrive on time is important to children. They're childish. You blame the MOM for that? Because she was the one explaining it to you in an email? Also, your offer to uproot her and have her attend high school in the US, do you really think a teenager would want to do that? You sound totally unrealistic and willing to blame all of your problems on the mom.

My daughter wanted to have the American high school experience. My ex said no as it would reduce her child support

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:lol @ the one, lonely bitter woman taking the mom's side in this thread. Who hurt you?

I'm neither lonely nor bitter. I live with my husband who is an excellent, actual father. I just think it's hilarious how a "dad" who's done exactly the legal minimum can claim to be aggrieved and get automatic "yeah women are always alienating kids" comments. Alienate from what? He lived on another continent. And his complaint isn't that he doesn't see his daughter enough, or know her better, it's that *she* doesn't call *him* on his birthday. Who hurt you to have such low expectations of men?

OP here I offered to have her live with and to go to high school here. Her mother would not allow it. All visits were surprised. When my daughter came here the mom came too with her brother. I flew multiple times a year.
The mom said in her recent email all troubles started when k remarried and had my daughter. This is not true not fair to blame a baby. I have multiple emails dating back to 2004. Some where she said my daughter doesn't want to speak to me as no Christmas gift arrived on time. Or child support wasn't the amount she wanted. I'm sorry big which 10 year old asks for pay stubs??

Not having a gift arrive on time is important to children. They're childish. You blame the MOM for that? Because she was the one explaining it to you in an email? Also, your offer to uproot her and have her attend high school in the US, do you really think a teenager would want to do that? You sound totally unrealistic and willing to blame all of your problems on the mom.

My daughter wanted to have the American high school experience. My ex said no as it would reduce her child support

LOL I'm sorry to continue making this about the mom, but COME ON. See, you don't understand being a parent, because you've never been one. You imagine her mother doesn't want her to go to another country BECAUSE OF THE CHILD SUPPORT?? Ha ha, how ridiculous. I wouldn't want my kids to go live in another country, either. Then again, I can't imagine moving away from my own children.

Again, you are completely unrealistic about what being a parent means. Imagine if someone suggested your 3 year old daughter move to another country. Presumably with her you can understand the parental bond.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:lol @ the one, lonely bitter woman taking the mom's side in this thread. Who hurt you?

I'm neither lonely nor bitter. I live with my husband who is an excellent, actual father. I just think it's hilarious how a "dad" who's done exactly the legal minimum can claim to be aggrieved and get automatic "yeah women are always alienating kids" comments. Alienate from what? He lived on another continent. And his complaint isn't that he doesn't see his daughter enough, or know her better, it's that *she* doesn't call *him* on his birthday. Who hurt you to have such low expectations of men?

I'm another pp defending the mother, and not the PP above. Presumably there are others as well.

Another one here. I must have missed this. Why doesn't OP live in germany?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:lol @ the one, lonely bitter woman taking the mom's side in this thread. Who hurt you?

I'm neither lonely nor bitter. I live with my husband who is an excellent, actual father. I just think it's hilarious how a "dad" who's done exactly the legal minimum can claim to be aggrieved and get automatic "yeah women are always alienating kids" comments. Alienate from what? He lived on another continent. And his complaint isn't that he doesn't see his daughter enough, or know her better, it's that *she* doesn't call *him* on his birthday. Who hurt you to have such low expectations of men?

OP here I offered to have her live with and to go to high school here. Her mother would not allow it. All visits were surprised. When my daughter came here the mom came too with her brother. I flew multiple times a year.
The mom said in her recent email all troubles started when k remarried and had my daughter. This is not true not fair to blame a baby. I have multiple emails dating back to 2004. Some where she said my daughter doesn't want to speak to me as no Christmas gift arrived on time. Or child support wasn't the amount she wanted. I'm sorry big which 10 year old asks for pay stubs??

Not having a gift arrive on time is important to children. They're childish. You blame the MOM for that? Because she was the one explaining it to you in an email? Also, your offer to uproot her and have her attend high school in the US, do you really think a teenager would want to do that? You sound totally unrealistic and willing to blame all of your problems on the mom.

My daughter wanted to have the American high school experience. My ex said no as it would reduce her child support

LOL I'm sorry to continue making this about the mom, but COME ON. See, you don't understand being a parent, because you've never been one. You imagine her mother doesn't want her to go to another country BECAUSE OF THE CHILD SUPPORT?? Ha ha, how ridiculous. I wouldn't want my kids to go live in another country, either. Then again, I can't imagine moving away from my own children.

Again, you are completely unrealistic about what being a parent means. Imagine if someone suggested your 3 year old daughter move to another country. Presumably with her you can understand the parental bond.

This was for 6 months. The mother was on board and then when I said I would not be paying the child support. She said she would think about it.
We had even discussed public vs private. I have written proof of this conversations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:lol @ the one, lonely bitter woman taking the mom's side in this thread. Who hurt you?

I'm neither lonely nor bitter. I live with my husband who is an excellent, actual father. I just think it's hilarious how a "dad" who's done exactly the legal minimum can claim to be aggrieved and get automatic "yeah women are always alienating kids" comments. Alienate from what? He lived on another continent. And his complaint isn't that he doesn't see his daughter enough, or know her better, it's that *she* doesn't call *him* on his birthday. Who hurt you to have such low expectations of men?

OP here I offered to have her live with and to go to high school here. Her mother would not allow it. All visits were surprised. When my daughter came here the mom came too with her brother. I flew multiple times a year.
The mom said in her recent email all troubles started when k remarried and had my daughter. This is not true not fair to blame a baby. I have multiple emails dating back to 2004. Some where she said my daughter doesn't want to speak to me as no Christmas gift arrived on time. Or child support wasn't the amount she wanted. I'm sorry big which 10 year old asks for pay stubs??

Not having a gift arrive on time is important to children. They're childish. You blame the MOM for that? Because she was the one explaining it to you in an email? Also, your offer to uproot her and have her attend high school in the US, do you really think a teenager would want to do that? You sound totally unrealistic and willing to blame all of your problems on the mom.

My daughter wanted to have the American high school experience. My ex said no as it would reduce her child support

Lol. I won't let my child go to HS an hour away from my house and the only reason your ex-wife doesn't want her kid to move an ocean away is because of the money she would lose. You're full of it dude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:lol @ the one, lonely bitter woman taking the mom's side in this thread. Who hurt you?

I'm neither lonely nor bitter. I live with my husband who is an excellent, actual father. I just think it's hilarious how a "dad" who's done exactly the legal minimum can claim to be aggrieved and get automatic "yeah women are always alienating kids" comments. Alienate from what? He lived on another continent. And his complaint isn't that he doesn't see his daughter enough, or know her better, it's that *she* doesn't call *him* on his birthday. Who hurt you to have such low expectations of men?

I'm another pp defending the mother, and not the PP above. Presumably there are others as well.

Another one here. I must have missed this. Why doesn't OP live in germany?

I'm in an officer in the military was one since before I met the mom

[Anonymous]

Just go to an international / German lawyer and figure out what to do OP.

Your 18 year old dd will have to do what it takes to please her mother, as well as just being a regular 18 year old, and it sounds like her mother wants cash from you and nothing else. Please consult a lawyer to see how long you have to pay and who you have to pay. Nothing else matters.