How to marry a financially compatible man?

[Anonymous]

pump and dump

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like most UMC men will make at least $300k. That should not be hard.

But they have more options than a frumpy and shallow 40-something divorcee.

I am not frumpy or shallow. I dont' have no time to waste. With the right person I would discuss politics, art, music, his interests. But in my experience most local men are pretty shallow and locked inside their federal cubical outlook at life.

That was a different poster who was chiming in. More than one person is telling you that you need to be realistic!

Well, I don't really have expectations of his looks as long as he wears good quality clean attire, height or not having kids. He can be bold with a small belly. These are fixable things. I think that's already a good "compromise" on my part. But he should be someone familiar with world politics, cultural life, well read about history, can distinguish a Japanese garden from Chinese, knows which cutlery to use for different courses at restaurants etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to grow up. I am early 40s divorced with kids. I make double your salary but do not have your wealth. My ex husband makes the same and would not even look at you and he is below the standards you set. You need a reality check. The chances of you finding wealth from a man in a second marriage is less than one percent.

I don’t know how anyone making 600k/year (and 1.2m/year jointly) for years would not have at least $3mm net worth. It means you and your exH were terrible managing your money and assets. I would not want someone who’s wasteful and wouldn’t look at your exH either

I’m talking about salary only in terms of income because that is all we have. I read that OP makes 100k (salary). I am only making 200k for the first time this year. I was making a little over 100 most of my career. My ex husband makes about the same— but with two jobs one being a federal employee. Our total income while married was 250-300 K a year. My ex-husband who earns just under 200k a year would not be interested in you is my point… if someone making that amount of money is not going to be interested in you someone who’s making a lot more money certainly isn’t going to be interested.

You can't tell for your exH who is interesting for him and who's not. Not every 40+ man with children looks for another marriage with kids. My exH prefers dating women his age or slightly younger because the last thing he wants is to deal with a toddler approaching age of 60. But I do agree that my options at 40+ would be more limited than my options at 30+. I can "waive" the height (can be shorter than me), looks (can have a belly as long is not too overweight and is good in bed, doens't need to run every 2 other days etc), no kids requirements.

I am not a trust fund heir. Being the first generation immigrant, I've built my real estate business over 10 years of hard work. In fact, it was "my" business my exH was primarily focused on his corporate career but when I filed for divorce he fought for the business like crazy. Our joint assets were worth around $10mm at the time of divorce, I got slightly less than that after legal fees and had to refinance one of the income properties to keep it. He retained his job 401K, eventually agreeing to "horse traded" assets as he couldn't really focus on the business going forward due to being tied at corporate career.

But I have a very good education (NY Bar) so after divorce I easily secured a position at 100k/year during the pandemic. I don't need to working making W2 salary, my business income would be enough to live rather comfortably. But this extra 100K makes up for the second lost income after divorce. Sorry but your salary of 100K for years even with the recent 200K is just not impressive to me as a female entrepreneur. It's highly insecure to have one source of income and no assets for cushion.

I know because he does not (1) date women who waste money (2) she only actually earns 100k from working. She screams lazy and entitled. He does not waste money. She does. He also will never remarry. He makes less than her “requirements” and still would not give her the time of day.

Which is why I would not be interested in a federal employee who makes 170K without major raise expectations but telling me not to "waste" my own business earned money. And should rather spend it on his kids college account, right?Are you serious? Why would I even marry to someone like your exH?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to grow up. I am early 40s divorced with kids. I make double your salary but do not have your wealth. My ex husband makes the same and would not even look at you and he is below the standards you set. You need a reality check. The chances of you finding wealth from a man in a second marriage is less than one percent.

I don’t know how anyone making 600k/year (and 1.2m/year jointly) for years would not have at least $3mm net worth. It means you and your exH were terrible managing your money and assets. I would not want someone who’s wasteful and wouldn’t look at your exH either

I’m talking about salary only in terms of income because that is all we have. I read that OP makes 100k (salary). I am only making 200k for the first time this year. I was making a little over 100 most of my career. My ex husband makes about the same— but with two jobs one being a federal employee. Our total income while married was 250-300 K a year. My ex-husband who earns just under 200k a year would not be interested in you is my point… if someone making that amount of money is not going to be interested in you someone who’s making a lot more money certainly isn’t going to be interested.

You can't tell for your exH who is interesting for him and who's not. Not every 40+ man with children looks for another marriage with kids. My exH prefers dating women his age or slightly younger because the last thing he wants is to deal with a toddler approaching age of 60. But I do agree that my options at 40+ would be more limited than my options at 30+. I can "waive" the height (can be shorter than me), looks (can have a belly as long is not too overweight and is good in bed, doens't need to run every 2 other days etc), no kids requirements.

I am not a trust fund heir. Being the first generation immigrant, I've built my real estate business over 10 years of hard work. In fact, it was "my" business my exH was primarily focused on his corporate career but when I filed for divorce he fought for the business like crazy. Our joint assets were worth around $10mm at the time of divorce, I got slightly less than that after legal fees and had to refinance one of the income properties to keep it. He retained his job 401K, eventually agreeing to "horse traded" assets as he couldn't really focus on the business going forward due to being tied at corporate career.

But I have a very good education (NY Bar) so after divorce I easily secured a position at 100k/year during the pandemic. I don't need to working making W2 salary, my business income would be enough to live rather comfortably. But this extra 100K makes up for the second lost income after divorce. Sorry but your salary of 100K for years even with the recent 200K is just not impressive to me as a female entrepreneur. It's highly insecure to have one source of income and no assets for cushion.

I know because he does not (1) date women who waste money (2) she only actually earns 100k from working. She screams lazy and entitled. He does not waste money. She does. He also will never remarry. He makes less than her “requirements” and still would not give her the time of day.

You have no clue about money making or respect for entrepreneurship. My business income is official, I have business tax returns. I own and manage my business producing way more wealth and utility for my clients than someone sitting at a federal job. If someone is making a 300K from a corporate position this person is not wealthier or worthy more than I am. I could have easily made way more than 100K in corporate but I don't have time because I have 2 jobs basically.

So you can keep your boring fed job and your exH - neither are within my sphere of interests.

And yes I am European but I do find that Americans claim they are not about money whereby they are ONLY about money. I don't waste my money: I spend them on what's valuable to me: travel, art, charity, business development, sports etc.

All of those things you spend on are wasteful and does not build wealth. Family member who makes way more than you do and would never spend money on that crap. That’s why he has so much money. You would not be attractive to truly wealthy people.

What, a 15/year club membership is a waste for your wealthy relative? I found most of my long term business clients at my country club! Tennis lessons or a pool membership/or a house pool is wasteful, too? I can afford all of it at 350K and still contribute every year around 40K into 401k; have cash several hundred thousand, sitting in CDs for next 24 months waiting for the next good investment come by etc. I don't look to be uber wealthy but getting to 10mm by my age 55 is a set financial personal goal and I am on route there, despite my spending

My family member is already at that level at 40. He would never ever spend 15k a year on a country club membership. Ever. He invests all of his money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I assumed so but OP just confirmed it- she is a first gen immigrant. You are all looking at this through an American lens. OP are you Eastern European by chance?

Yes, i am but what difference does it make?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel like most UMC men will make at least $300k. That should not be hard.

+1

Of course this is possible and not even hard to do. Just screen for jobs. Look for people in finance or tech or BigLaw partners.

The only hindrance is you’re on your forties and men like that may be looking for twenty somethings to have children with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a woman in early 40s, recently divorced. Not looking to remarry immediately, I just date. But if I was to remarry, it would need to be someone "financially compatible". I have a net worth if $3.5mm (primarily real estate trust-like managed arrangement). No financial obligations except for a very small mortgage (net worth counted after mortgage).

My trust makes around 250k/year. I also work full time at a fed contractor making 100K/year at a contracting position. I am not particular career oriented as I already make enough for single lifestyle. Basically it's like having 2 jobs with gross total income 300-350k depending on a year. Ideally I need my future husband in a 300K+ income bracket, to "restore" the lifestyle I had prior to my divorce. I had a comfortable income with exH at 700-$1mm/year. I like traveling to Europe, skiing, nice clothing, restaurants etc. I would want to mix the income which has to be roughly equal, without mixing our pre-marital assets. That way we both could step up our joint lifestyle and afford more as a couple plus benefit on joint taxes (every economist knows "economy of scale" principle). Of course, we could buy another joint property or start some joint business in real estate which I am very familiar with

My partner would need to have a similar life style: e.g. not being cheap, willing to mix incomes but not assets, like art in other words being accustomed to this lifestyle. I can't imagine arguing about things which I can somewhat afford myself already. I am a member of a country club (where everyone seems married); a sport club, travel every season for 2 weeks on average; go out to nice restaurants.

Is it realistic to find a partner like this? How would I "weed out" those under the parameters I am looking for? Are there dating platforms for wealthier people? I am not on any app at the moment, would it be a poor taste to put the requirements on the profile?

It’s not impossible. Look at Lauren Sanchez, she’s 52, dating Bezos, and they seem to be living an extravagant lifestyle together. He could have easily gone for a 24 year old but chose her.

I don’t think you should put your requirements for wealth on profiles, that’s a big turn off. Instead focus on the positives of that - the traveling, art galleries, whatever else you are into that indicates wealth. Then look for the same on men’s profiles.

You might be better off with a matchmaking service. Still use the apps, but try a matchmaker specifically for wealthy people.

OP here, this is the first post that's indeed helpful! Can you recommend a matchmaker? I have pretty wide social circle locally, don't want people to see my online profile. I have Linkedin but no IS and my FB is barely active

I don’t have a recommendation for a math maker, sorry. I’m sure there’s plenty online.

What I would do: back when I was 24 and wanted to break into a specific field that’s very hard to get into, I spend 2 years actively pursuing it. Most people sent out hundreds of applications and resumes, got rejected every time, then gave up. I was very strategic, I did a ton of work to boost my resume, read everything I could online about getting in, did a ton of networking, met all the key players in the field, etc. and not only did a land a job, I landed one of the highest paying ones.

I feel like your circumstances would benefit from a similar approach. Most people are very passive: like the people who just sent out applications, they just sign up for OLD then complain no one is interested. Instead, make yourself irresistible. Hit the gym like it’s your job, hire a stylist to help with your look, get Botox, learn makeup, etc. Then get out there and network nonstop. Go to where these men are - the art galleries, vacation spots, classes, events, etc. It’ll take you awhile to find all the right spots, but keep going and you’ll find them. Plan on spending 2 years working at this as if it were a job. Track what is successful and what is not successful. Expand your network by talking to literally everyone you meet.

It sounds like a lot of work, but it’s not that much considering an extra $500k a year for the next 40 years.

I know people like to sh!t on older women for not being desirable or whatever, but I think that’s crap. We make our own successes and can reach our own goals, but we have to work for it. Don’t let people try to limit you based on your sex and age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to grow up. I am early 40s divorced with kids. I make double your salary but do not have your wealth. My ex husband makes the same and would not even look at you and he is below the standards you set. You need a reality check. The chances of you finding wealth from a man in a second marriage is less than one percent.

I don’t know how anyone making 600k/year (and 1.2m/year jointly) for years would not have at least $3mm net worth. It means you and your exH were terrible managing your money and assets. I would not want someone who’s wasteful and wouldn’t look at your exH either

I’m talking about salary only in terms of income because that is all we have. I read that OP makes 100k (salary). I am only making 200k for the first time this year. I was making a little over 100 most of my career. My ex husband makes about the same— but with two jobs one being a federal employee. Our total income while married was 250-300 K a year. My ex-husband who earns just under 200k a year would not be interested in you is my point… if someone making that amount of money is not going to be interested in you someone who’s making a lot more money certainly isn’t going to be interested.

You can't tell for your exH who is interesting for him and who's not. Not every 40+ man with children looks for another marriage with kids. My exH prefers dating women his age or slightly younger because the last thing he wants is to deal with a toddler approaching age of 60. But I do agree that my options at 40+ would be more limited than my options at 30+. I can "waive" the height (can be shorter than me), looks (can have a belly as long is not too overweight and is good in bed, doens't need to run every 2 other days etc), no kids requirements.

I am not a trust fund heir. Being the first generation immigrant, I've built my real estate business over 10 years of hard work. In fact, it was "my" business my exH was primarily focused on his corporate career but when I filed for divorce he fought for the business like crazy. Our joint assets were worth around $10mm at the time of divorce, I got slightly less than that after legal fees and had to refinance one of the income properties to keep it. He retained his job 401K, eventually agreeing to "horse traded" assets as he couldn't really focus on the business going forward due to being tied at corporate career.

But I have a very good education (NY Bar) so after divorce I easily secured a position at 100k/year during the pandemic. I don't need to working making W2 salary, my business income would be enough to live rather comfortably. But this extra 100K makes up for the second lost income after divorce. Sorry but your salary of 100K for years even with the recent 200K is just not impressive to me as a female entrepreneur. It's highly insecure to have one source of income and no assets for cushion.

I know because he does not (1) date women who waste money (2) she only actually earns 100k from working. She screams lazy and entitled. He does not waste money. She does. He also will never remarry. He makes less than her “requirements” and still would not give her the time of day.

Which is why I would not be interested in a federal employee who makes 170K without major raise expectations but telling me not to "waste" my own business earned money. And should rather spend it on his kids college account, right?Are you serious? Why would I even marry to someone like your exH?

I am saying that if you are not attractive to my ex--who is lowly by your standards--a higher earning man is not going to be interested in you. You can't even get what you are considering to be beneath you.! You need a reality check on what you can attract.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to grow up. I am early 40s divorced with kids. I make double your salary but do not have your wealth. My ex husband makes the same and would not even look at you and he is below the standards you set. You need a reality check. The chances of you finding wealth from a man in a second marriage is less than one percent.

I don’t know how anyone making 600k/year (and 1.2m/year jointly) for years would not have at least $3mm net worth. It means you and your exH were terrible managing your money and assets. I would not want someone who’s wasteful and wouldn’t look at your exH either

I’m talking about salary only in terms of income because that is all we have. I read that OP makes 100k (salary). I am only making 200k for the first time this year. I was making a little over 100 most of my career. My ex husband makes about the same— but with two jobs one being a federal employee. Our total income while married was 250-300 K a year. My ex-husband who earns just under 200k a year would not be interested in you is my point… if someone making that amount of money is not going to be interested in you someone who’s making a lot more money certainly isn’t going to be interested.

You can't tell for your exH who is interesting for him and who's not. Not every 40+ man with children looks for another marriage with kids. My exH prefers dating women his age or slightly younger because the last thing he wants is to deal with a toddler approaching age of 60. But I do agree that my options at 40+ would be more limited than my options at 30+. I can "waive" the height (can be shorter than me), looks (can have a belly as long is not too overweight and is good in bed, doens't need to run every 2 other days etc), no kids requirements.

I am not a trust fund heir. Being the first generation immigrant, I've built my real estate business over 10 years of hard work. In fact, it was "my" business my exH was primarily focused on his corporate career but when I filed for divorce he fought for the business like crazy. Our joint assets were worth around $10mm at the time of divorce, I got slightly less than that after legal fees and had to refinance one of the income properties to keep it. He retained his job 401K, eventually agreeing to "horse traded" assets as he couldn't really focus on the business going forward due to being tied at corporate career.

But I have a very good education (NY Bar) so after divorce I easily secured a position at 100k/year during the pandemic. I don't need to working making W2 salary, my business income would be enough to live rather comfortably. But this extra 100K makes up for the second lost income after divorce. Sorry but your salary of 100K for years even with the recent 200K is just not impressive to me as a female entrepreneur. It's highly insecure to have one source of income and no assets for cushion.

I know because he does not (1) date women who waste money (2) she only actually earns 100k from working. She screams lazy and entitled. He does not waste money. She does. He also will never remarry. He makes less than her “requirements” and still would not give her the time of day.

You have no clue about money making or respect for entrepreneurship. My business income is official, I have business tax returns. I own and manage my business producing way more wealth and utility for my clients than someone sitting at a federal job. If someone is making a 300K from a corporate position this person is not wealthier or worthy more than I am. I could have easily made way more than 100K in corporate but I don't have time because I have 2 jobs basically.

So you can keep your boring fed job and your exH - neither are within my sphere of interests.

And yes I am European but I do find that Americans claim they are not about money whereby they are ONLY about money. I don't waste my money: I spend them on what's valuable to me: travel, art, charity, business development, sports etc.

All of those things you spend on are wasteful and does not build wealth. Family member who makes way more than you do and would never spend money on that crap. That’s why he has so much money. You would not be attractive to truly wealthy people.

What, a 15/year club membership is a waste for your wealthy relative? I found most of my long term business clients at my country club! Tennis lessons or a pool membership/or a house pool is wasteful, too? I can afford all of it at 350K and still contribute every year around 40K into 401k; have cash several hundred thousand, sitting in CDs for next 24 months waiting for the next good investment come by etc. I don't look to be uber wealthy but getting to 10mm by my age 55 is a set financial personal goal and I am on route there, despite my spending

My family member is already at that level at 40. He would never ever spend 15k a year on a country club membership. Ever. He invests all of his money.

I invest all my money as well, but club membership to those with client-oriented income is important. It's a business oriented club for young professionals. I meet there with other entrepreneurs some do investment banking and we exchange ideas. I consider commercial RE direction so it's important to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like most UMC men will make at least $300k. That should not be hard.

+1

Of course this is possible and not even hard to do. Just screen for jobs. Look for people in finance or tech or BigLaw partners.

The only hindrance is you’re on your forties and men like that may be looking for twenty somethings to have children with.

Those man are MARRIED. Or not interested in remarrying at all.

[Anonymous]

Troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to grow up. I am early 40s divorced with kids. I make double your salary but do not have your wealth. My ex husband makes the same and would not even look at you and he is below the standards you set. You need a reality check. The chances of you finding wealth from a man in a second marriage is less than one percent.

I don’t know how anyone making 600k/year (and 1.2m/year jointly) for years would not have at least $3mm net worth. It means you and your exH were terrible managing your money and assets. I would not want someone who’s wasteful and wouldn’t look at your exH either

I’m talking about salary only in terms of income because that is all we have. I read that OP makes 100k (salary). I am only making 200k for the first time this year. I was making a little over 100 most of my career. My ex husband makes about the same— but with two jobs one being a federal employee. Our total income while married was 250-300 K a year. My ex-husband who earns just under 200k a year would not be interested in you is my point… if someone making that amount of money is not going to be interested in you someone who’s making a lot more money certainly isn’t going to be interested.

You can't tell for your exH who is interesting for him and who's not. Not every 40+ man with children looks for another marriage with kids. My exH prefers dating women his age or slightly younger because the last thing he wants is to deal with a toddler approaching age of 60. But I do agree that my options at 40+ would be more limited than my options at 30+. I can "waive" the height (can be shorter than me), looks (can have a belly as long is not too overweight and is good in bed, doens't need to run every 2 other days etc), no kids requirements.

I am not a trust fund heir. Being the first generation immigrant, I've built my real estate business over 10 years of hard work. In fact, it was "my" business my exH was primarily focused on his corporate career but when I filed for divorce he fought for the business like crazy. Our joint assets were worth around $10mm at the time of divorce, I got slightly less than that after legal fees and had to refinance one of the income properties to keep it. He retained his job 401K, eventually agreeing to "horse traded" assets as he couldn't really focus on the business going forward due to being tied at corporate career.

But I have a very good education (NY Bar) so after divorce I easily secured a position at 100k/year during the pandemic. I don't need to working making W2 salary, my business income would be enough to live rather comfortably. But this extra 100K makes up for the second lost income after divorce. Sorry but your salary of 100K for years even with the recent 200K is just not impressive to me as a female entrepreneur. It's highly insecure to have one source of income and no assets for cushion.

I know because he does not (1) date women who waste money (2) she only actually earns 100k from working. She screams lazy and entitled. He does not waste money. She does. He also will never remarry. He makes less than her “requirements” and still would not give her the time of day.

Which is why I would not be interested in a federal employee who makes 170K without major raise expectations but telling me not to "waste" my own business earned money. And should rather spend it on his kids college account, right?Are you serious? Why would I even marry to someone like your exH?

I am saying that if you are not attractive to my ex--who is lowly by your standards--a higher earning man is not going to be interested in you. You can't even get what you are considering to be beneath you.! You need a reality check on what you can attract.

Your ex would not be attractive to me, we would be totally different energy, values and world outlook levels

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a woman in early 40s, recently divorced. Not looking to remarry immediately, I just date. But if I was to remarry, it would need to be someone "financially compatible". I have a net worth if $3.5mm (primarily real estate trust-like managed arrangement). No financial obligations except for a very small mortgage (net worth counted after mortgage).

My trust makes around 250k/year. I also work full time at a fed contractor making 100K/year at a contracting position. I am not particular career oriented as I already make enough for single lifestyle. Basically it's like having 2 jobs with gross total income 300-350k depending on a year. Ideally I need my future husband in a 300K+ income bracket, to "restore" the lifestyle I had prior to my divorce. I had a comfortable income with exH at 700-$1mm/year. I like traveling to Europe, skiing, nice clothing, restaurants etc. I would want to mix the income which has to be roughly equal, without mixing our pre-marital assets. That way we both could step up our joint lifestyle and afford more as a couple plus benefit on joint taxes (every economist knows "economy of scale" principle). Of course, we could buy another joint property or start some joint business in real estate which I am very familiar with

My partner would need to have a similar life style: e.g. not being cheap, willing to mix incomes but not assets, like art in other words being accustomed to this lifestyle. I can't imagine arguing about things which I can somewhat afford myself already. I am a member of a country club (where everyone seems married); a sport club, travel every season for 2 weeks on average; go out to nice restaurants.

Is it realistic to find a partner like this? How would I "weed out" those under the parameters I am looking for? Are there dating platforms for wealthier people? I am not on any app at the moment, would it be a poor taste to put the requirements on the profile?

It’s not impossible. Look at Lauren Sanchez, she’s 52, dating Bezos, and they seem to be living an extravagant lifestyle together. He could have easily gone for a 24 year old but chose her.

I don’t think you should put your requirements for wealth on profiles, that’s a big turn off. Instead focus on the positives of that - the traveling, art galleries, whatever else you are into that indicates wealth. Then look for the same on men’s profiles.

You might be better off with a matchmaking service. Still use the apps, but try a matchmaker specifically for wealthy people.

OP here, this is the first post that's indeed helpful! Can you recommend a matchmaker? I have pretty wide social circle locally, don't want people to see my online profile. I have Linkedin but no IS and my FB is barely active

I don’t have a recommendation for a math maker, sorry. I’m sure there’s plenty online.

What I would do: back when I was 24 and wanted to break into a specific field that’s very hard to get into, I spend 2 years actively pursuing it. Most people sent out hundreds of applications and resumes, got rejected every time, then gave up. I was very strategic, I did a ton of work to boost my resume, read everything I could online about getting in, did a ton of networking, met all the key players in the field, etc. and not only did a land a job, I landed one of the highest paying ones.

I feel like your circumstances would benefit from a similar approach. Most people are very passive: like the people who just sent out applications, they just sign up for OLD then complain no one is interested. Instead, make yourself irresistible. Hit the gym like it’s your job, hire a stylist to help with your look, get Botox, learn makeup, etc. Then get out there and network nonstop. Go to where these men are - the art galleries, vacation spots, classes, events, etc. It’ll take you awhile to find all the right spots, but keep going and you’ll find them. Plan on spending 2 years working at this as if it were a job. Track what is successful and what is not successful. Expand your network by talking to literally everyone you meet.

It sounds like a lot of work, but it’s not that much considering an extra $500k a year for the next 40 years.

I know people like to sh!t on older women for not being desirable or whatever, but I think that’s crap. We make our own successes and can reach our own goals, but we have to work for it. Don’t let people try to limit you based on your sex and age.

OP here. I am a pretty good looking woman, and already dress stylish, make-up etc. My exH married me among other things for superior looks. Two friends of mine re-married in their 40s. Both from Eastern Europe, tall, thin and very beautiful faces divorced women. Both with teenagers. One is marrying a Silicone valley rising star soon, and is herself a successful multi-million business owner. He is slightly younger btw but they plan to adopt or have another child. I know these are real stories based on my female friends' experience, but I just recently divorced and don't know how to thread these new waters yet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a woman in early 40s, recently divorced. Not looking to remarry immediately, I just date. But if I was to remarry, it would need to be someone "financially compatible". I have a net worth if $3.5mm (primarily real estate trust-like managed arrangement). No financial obligations except for a very small mortgage (net worth counted after mortgage).

My trust makes around 250k/year. I also work full time at a fed contractor making 100K/year at a contracting position. I am not particular career oriented as I already make enough for single lifestyle. Basically it's like having 2 jobs with gross total income 300-350k depending on a year. Ideally I need my future husband in a 300K+ income bracket, to "restore" the lifestyle I had prior to my divorce. I had a comfortable income with exH at 700-$1mm/year. I like traveling to Europe, skiing, nice clothing, restaurants etc. I would want to mix the income which has to be roughly equal, without mixing our pre-marital assets. That way we both could step up our joint lifestyle and afford more as a couple plus benefit on joint taxes (every economist knows "economy of scale" principle). Of course, we could buy another joint property or start some joint business in real estate which I am very familiar with

My partner would need to have a similar life style: e.g. not being cheap, willing to mix incomes but not assets, like art in other words being accustomed to this lifestyle. I can't imagine arguing about things which I can somewhat afford myself already. I am a member of a country club (where everyone seems married); a sport club, travel every season for 2 weeks on average; go out to nice restaurants.

Is it realistic to find a partner like this? How would I "weed out" those under the parameters I am looking for? Are there dating platforms for wealthier people? I am not on any app at the moment, would it be a poor taste to put the requirements on the profile?

It’s not impossible. Look at Lauren Sanchez, she’s 52, dating Bezos, and they seem to be living an extravagant lifestyle together. He could have easily gone for a 24 year old but chose her.

I don’t think you should put your requirements for wealth on profiles, that’s a big turn off. Instead focus on the positives of that - the traveling, art galleries, whatever else you are into that indicates wealth. Then look for the same on men’s profiles.

You might be better off with a matchmaking service. Still use the apps, but try a matchmaker specifically for wealthy people.

OP here, this is the first post that's indeed helpful! Can you recommend a matchmaker? I have pretty wide social circle locally, don't want people to see my online profile. I have Linkedin but no IS and my FB is barely active

I don’t have a recommendation for a math maker, sorry. I’m sure there’s plenty online.

What I would do: back when I was 24 and wanted to break into a specific field that’s very hard to get into, I spend 2 years actively pursuing it. Most people sent out hundreds of applications and resumes, got rejected every time, then gave up. I was very strategic, I did a ton of work to boost my resume, read everything I could online about getting in, did a ton of networking, met all the key players in the field, etc. and not only did a land a job, I landed one of the highest paying ones.

I feel like your circumstances would benefit from a similar approach. Most people are very passive: like the people who just sent out applications, they just sign up for OLD then complain no one is interested. Instead, make yourself irresistible. Hit the gym like it’s your job, hire a stylist to help with your look, get Botox, learn makeup, etc. Then get out there and network nonstop. Go to where these men are - the art galleries, vacation spots, classes, events, etc. It’ll take you awhile to find all the right spots, but keep going and you’ll find them. Plan on spending 2 years working at this as if it were a job. Track what is successful and what is not successful. Expand your network by talking to literally everyone you meet.

It sounds like a lot of work, but it’s not that much considering an extra $500k a year for the next 40 years.

I know people like to sh!t on older women for not being desirable or whatever, but I think that’s crap. We make our own successes and can reach our own goals, but we have to work for it. Don’t let people try to limit you based on your sex and age.

OP here. I am a pretty good looking woman, and already dress stylish, make-up etc. My exH married me among other things for superior looks. Two friends of mine re-married in their 40s. Both from Eastern Europe, tall, thin and very beautiful faces divorced women. Both with teenagers. One is marrying a Silicone valley rising star soon, and is herself a successful multi-million business owner. He is slightly younger btw but they plan to adopt or have another child. I know these are real stories based on my female friends' experience, but I just recently divorced and don't know how to thread these new waters yet.

And under "very beautiful" faces I mean Lauren Sanchez types before her botox in her late 30-40s. Or a blond Charlize Theron type with perfect face.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a woman in early 40s, recently divorced. Not looking to remarry immediately, I just date. But if I was to remarry, it would need to be someone "financially compatible". I have a net worth if $3.5mm (primarily real estate trust-like managed arrangement). No financial obligations except for a very small mortgage (net worth counted after mortgage).

My trust makes around 250k/year. I also work full time at a fed contractor making 100K/year at a contracting position. I am not particular career oriented as I already make enough for single lifestyle. Basically it's like having 2 jobs with gross total income 300-350k depending on a year. Ideally I need my future husband in a 300K+ income bracket, to "restore" the lifestyle I had prior to my divorce. I had a comfortable income with exH at 700-$1mm/year. I like traveling to Europe, skiing, nice clothing, restaurants etc. I would want to mix the income which has to be roughly equal, without mixing our pre-marital assets. That way we both could step up our joint lifestyle and afford more as a couple plus benefit on joint taxes (every economist knows "economy of scale" principle). Of course, we could buy another joint property or start some joint business in real estate which I am very familiar with

My partner would need to have a similar life style: e.g. not being cheap, willing to mix incomes but not assets, like art in other words being accustomed to this lifestyle. I can't imagine arguing about things which I can somewhat afford myself already. I am a member of a country club (where everyone seems married); a sport club, travel every season for 2 weeks on average; go out to nice restaurants.

Is it realistic to find a partner like this? How would I "weed out" those under the parameters I am looking for? Are there dating platforms for wealthier people? I am not on any app at the moment, would it be a poor taste to put the requirements on the profile?

It’s not impossible. Look at Lauren Sanchez, she’s 52, dating Bezos, and they seem to be living an extravagant lifestyle together. He could have easily gone for a 24 year old but chose her.

I don’t think you should put your requirements for wealth on profiles, that’s a big turn off. Instead focus on the positives of that - the traveling, art galleries, whatever else you are into that indicates wealth. Then look for the same on men’s profiles.

You might be better off with a matchmaking service. Still use the apps, but try a matchmaker specifically for wealthy people.

OP here, this is the first post that's indeed helpful! Can you recommend a matchmaker? I have pretty wide social circle locally, don't want people to see my online profile. I have Linkedin but no IS and my FB is barely active

I don’t have a recommendation for a math maker, sorry. I’m sure there’s plenty online.

What I would do: back when I was 24 and wanted to break into a specific field that’s very hard to get into, I spend 2 years actively pursuing it. Most people sent out hundreds of applications and resumes, got rejected every time, then gave up. I was very strategic, I did a ton of work to boost my resume, read everything I could online about getting in, did a ton of networking, met all the key players in the field, etc. and not only did a land a job, I landed one of the highest paying ones.

I feel like your circumstances would benefit from a similar approach. Most people are very passive: like the people who just sent out applications, they just sign up for OLD then complain no one is interested. Instead, make yourself irresistible. Hit the gym like it’s your job, hire a stylist to help with your look, get Botox, learn makeup, etc. Then get out there and network nonstop. Go to where these men are - the art galleries, vacation spots, classes, events, etc. It’ll take you awhile to find all the right spots, but keep going and you’ll find them. Plan on spending 2 years working at this as if it were a job. Track what is successful and what is not successful. Expand your network by talking to literally everyone you meet.

It sounds like a lot of work, but it’s not that much considering an extra $500k a year for the next 40 years.

I know people like to sh!t on older women for not being desirable or whatever, but I think that’s crap. We make our own successes and can reach our own goals, but we have to work for it. Don’t let people try to limit you based on your sex and age.

OP here. I am a pretty good looking woman, and already dress stylish, make-up etc. My exH married me among other things for superior looks. Two friends of mine re-married in their 40s. Both from Eastern Europe, tall, thin and very beautiful faces divorced women. Both with teenagers. One is marrying a Silicone valley rising star soon, and is herself a successful multi-million business owner. He is slightly younger btw but they plan to adopt or have another child. I know these are real stories based on my female friends' experience, but I just recently divorced and don't know how to thread these new waters yet.

How close of friends are you? I’d ask them for advice and ask them to start inviting you to events where their husbands will have rich buddies around.