How to marry a financially compatible man?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a woman in early 40s, recently divorced. Not looking to remarry immediately, I just date. But if I was to remarry, it would need to be someone "financially compatible". I have a net worth if $3.5mm (primarily real estate trust-like managed arrangement). No financial obligations except for a very small mortgage (net worth counted after mortgage).

My trust makes around 250k/year. I also work full time at a fed contractor making 100K/year at a contracting position. I am not particular career oriented as I already make enough for single lifestyle. Basically it's like having 2 jobs with gross total income 300-350k depending on a year. Ideally I need my future husband in a 300K+ income bracket, to "restore" the lifestyle I had prior to my divorce. I had a comfortable income with exH at 700-$1mm/year. I like traveling to Europe, skiing, nice clothing, restaurants etc. I would want to mix the income which has to be roughly equal, without mixing our pre-marital assets. That way we both could step up our joint lifestyle and afford more as a couple plus benefit on joint taxes (every economist knows "economy of scale" principle). Of course, we could buy another joint property or start some joint business in real estate which I am very familiar with

My partner would need to have a similar life style: e.g. not being cheap, willing to mix incomes but not assets, like art in other words being accustomed to this lifestyle. I can't imagine arguing about things which I can somewhat afford myself already. I am a member of a country club (where everyone seems married); a sport club, travel every season for 2 weeks on average; go out to nice restaurants.

Is it realistic to find a partner like this? How would I "weed out" those under the parameters I am looking for? Are there dating platforms for wealthier people? I am not on any app at the moment, would it be a poor taste to put the requirements on the profile?

Hi OP. Maybe I’m the only one here but I think you are to be commended for your achievements and also that you should not settle for less than who and what you want. I am also divorced but with none of the education and wealth you possess. I couldn’t be more in awe of what you’ve accomplished and your freedom to do what you want. Good for you!! I don’t know where wealthy people meet since I’m not but I suspect the same way other social groups meet- through families and schools and recreation. A matchmaker doesn’t seem very romantic to me however you don’t seem like someone who will stand around and wait for something good to happen. You are ambitious and make things happen. Have you considered the Bay Area. There are many young female international ambitious entrepreneurs here who think like you do. You’d be very popular here. I think the advice you are getting is yes very American, but beyond that it’s very “east coast”. We are more open minded here! 😉 Best wishes to you and keep it up. I hope my daughters will be as successful as you, although unlikely since I can’t teach them how to do what you’ve done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, there are plenty. You know what you want and you are entitled to your wishes. I wanted a husband with my lifestyle and background (trust fund and lucrative career) and got exactly that. Be open to dating international men - Europeans and Middle Easterners are more old money and generous and know how to appreciate fine things in life. Stay far away from men who grew up poor or middle class - it takes around 2-3 generations for the poverty trauma to go away, so they will feel guilty to spend and enjoy life.

Thank you ! I am researching match makers and international dating sites. Anyone had experience with a certified status on elite singles or similar ?
I grew up in an upper class family in my home country. We were not rich by the US standards, but we’re very well traveled, had culinary classes, instructors for sports and music.
I also noticed wealthy Americans would live in huge mansions and dump shit load of money into home improvements. But they go to cheap vacations, usually “property exchange” with wealthy friends so they don’t have to pay for hotels. Year after year they go to same friends in North Carlina.
My European friends/law partners live in large apartments or townhouses but they rent real experiences for vacations, windsurf or island hop in Italy, visit museums, see different places. What’s in it for me, living rich lifestyle in a mansion with elevators somewhere in Reno NV?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a woman in early 40s, recently divorced. Not looking to remarry immediately, I just date. But if I was to remarry, it would need to be someone "financially compatible". I have a net worth if $3.5mm (primarily real estate trust-like managed arrangement). No financial obligations except for a very small mortgage (net worth counted after mortgage).

My trust makes around 250k/year. I also work full time at a fed contractor making 100K/year at a contracting position. I am not particular career oriented as I already make enough for single lifestyle. Basically it's like having 2 jobs with gross total income 300-350k depending on a year. Ideally I need my future husband in a 300K+ income bracket, to "restore" the lifestyle I had prior to my divorce. I had a comfortable income with exH at 700-$1mm/year. I like traveling to Europe, skiing, nice clothing, restaurants etc. I would want to mix the income which has to be roughly equal, without mixing our pre-marital assets. That way we both could step up our joint lifestyle and afford more as a couple plus benefit on joint taxes (every economist knows "economy of scale" principle). Of course, we could buy another joint property or start some joint business in real estate which I am very familiar with

My partner would need to have a similar life style: e.g. not being cheap, willing to mix incomes but not assets, like art in other words being accustomed to this lifestyle. I can't imagine arguing about things which I can somewhat afford myself already. I am a member of a country club (where everyone seems married); a sport club, travel every season for 2 weeks on average; go out to nice restaurants.

Is it realistic to find a partner like this? How would I "weed out" those under the parameters I am looking for? Are there dating platforms for wealthier people? I am not on any app at the moment, would it be a poor taste to put the requirements on the profile?

Hi OP. Maybe I’m the only one here but I think you are to be commended for your achievements and also that you should not settle for less than who and what you want. I am also divorced but with none of the education and wealth you possess. I couldn’t be more in awe of what you’ve accomplished and your freedom to do what you want. Good for you!! I don’t know where wealthy people meet since I’m not but I suspect the same way other social groups meet- through families and schools and recreation. A matchmaker doesn’t seem very romantic to me however you don’t seem like someone who will stand around and wait for something good to happen. You are ambitious and make things happen. Have you considered the Bay Area. There are many young female international ambitious entrepreneurs here who think like you do. You’d be very popular here. I think the advice you are getting is yes very American, but beyond that it’s very “east coast”. We are more open minded here! 😉 Best wishes to you and keep it up. I hope my daughters will be as successful as you, although unlikely since I can’t teach them how to do what you’ve done.

For one thing, she was married when she started her business. She had the time to do it. Most women are not in a position of being financially supported while they pursue entrepreneurial ventures. She got lucky. This is not that hard with that kind of safety net in a marriage. she had time and financial support.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, there are plenty. You know what you want and you are entitled to your wishes. I wanted a husband with my lifestyle and background (trust fund and lucrative career) and got exactly that. Be open to dating international men - Europeans and Middle Easterners are more old money and generous and know how to appreciate fine things in life. Stay far away from men who grew up poor or middle class - it takes around 2-3 generations for the poverty trauma to go away, so they will feel guilty to spend and enjoy life.

Thank you ! I am researching match makers and international dating sites. Anyone had experience with a certified status on elite singles or similar ?
I grew up in an upper class family in my home country. We were not rich by the US standards, but we’re very well traveled, had culinary classes, instructors for sports and music.
I also noticed wealthy Americans would live in huge mansions and dump shit load of money into home improvements. But they go to cheap vacations, usually “property exchange” with wealthy friends so they don’t have to pay for hotels. Year after year they go to same friends in North Carlina.
My European friends/law partners live in large apartments or townhouses but they rent real experiences for vacations, windsurf or island hop in Italy, visit museums, see different places. What’s in it for me, living rich lifestyle in a mansion with elevators somewhere in Reno NV?

You are exhausting. Please leave the thread as you said you would.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a woman in early 40s, recently divorced. Not looking to remarry immediately, I just date. But if I was to remarry, it would need to be someone "financially compatible". I have a net worth if $3.5mm (primarily real estate trust-like managed arrangement). No financial obligations except for a very small mortgage (net worth counted after mortgage).

My trust makes around 250k/year. I also work full time at a fed contractor making 100K/year at a contracting position. I am not particular career oriented as I already make enough for single lifestyle. Basically it's like having 2 jobs with gross total income 300-350k depending on a year. Ideally I need my future husband in a 300K+ income bracket, to "restore" the lifestyle I had prior to my divorce. I had a comfortable income with exH at 700-$1mm/year. I like traveling to Europe, skiing, nice clothing, restaurants etc. I would want to mix the income which has to be roughly equal, without mixing our pre-marital assets. That way we both could step up our joint lifestyle and afford more as a couple plus benefit on joint taxes (every economist knows "economy of scale" principle). Of course, we could buy another joint property or start some joint business in real estate which I am very familiar with

My partner would need to have a similar life style: e.g. not being cheap, willing to mix incomes but not assets, like art in other words being accustomed to this lifestyle. I can't imagine arguing about things which I can somewhat afford myself already. I am a member of a country club (where everyone seems married); a sport club, travel every season for 2 weeks on average; go out to nice restaurants.

Is it realistic to find a partner like this? How would I "weed out" those under the parameters I am looking for? Are there dating platforms for wealthier people? I am not on any app at the moment, would it be a poor taste to put the requirements on the profile?

Hi OP. Maybe I’m the only one here but I think you are to be commended for your achievements and also that you should not settle for less than who and what you want. I am also divorced but with none of the education and wealth you possess. I couldn’t be more in awe of what you’ve accomplished and your freedom to do what you want. Good for you!! I don’t know where wealthy people meet since I’m not but I suspect the same way other social groups meet- through families and schools and recreation. A matchmaker doesn’t seem very romantic to me however you don’t seem like someone who will stand around and wait for something good to happen. You are ambitious and make things happen. Have you considered the Bay Area. There are many young female international ambitious entrepreneurs here who think like you do. You’d be very popular here. I think the advice you are getting is yes very American, but beyond that it’s very “east coast”. We are more open minded here! 😉 Best wishes to you and keep it up. I hope my daughters will be as successful as you, although unlikely since I can’t teach them how to do what you’ve done.

For one thing, she was married when she started her business. She had the time to do it. Most women are not in a position of being financially supported while they pursue entrepreneurial ventures. She got lucky. This is not that hard with that kind of safety net in a marriage. she had time and financial support.

You didn't read above that I worked in 3 months since landing on US soil and used my own savings as well to start the business. Everyone has time in life, and it's up to you how to use it. I backtracked my legal career in Europe (I was an associate at a US law firm in German). But we agreed that there would be a "compensatory" side business to me leaving legal career during the marriage. Would I have married my exH, if he wasn't driven or didnt support business development? Of course not! I would have stayed at my law firm. Some other foreign attorneys who stayed are now equity law partners making way more than I make in the US. But there are not married and don't have children, they had to sacrifice all these for their corporate careers. I likely would have been one of them, if I didn't marry

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a woman in early 40s, recently divorced. Not looking to remarry immediately, I just date. But if I was to remarry, it would need to be someone "financially compatible". I have a net worth if $3.5mm (primarily real estate trust-like managed arrangement). No financial obligations except for a very small mortgage (net worth counted after mortgage).

My trust makes around 250k/year. I also work full time at a fed contractor making 100K/year at a contracting position. I am not particular career oriented as I already make enough for single lifestyle. Basically it's like having 2 jobs with gross total income 300-350k depending on a year. Ideally I need my future husband in a 300K+ income bracket, to "restore" the lifestyle I had prior to my divorce. I had a comfortable income with exH at 700-$1mm/year. I like traveling to Europe, skiing, nice clothing, restaurants etc. I would want to mix the income which has to be roughly equal, without mixing our pre-marital assets. That way we both could step up our joint lifestyle and afford more as a couple plus benefit on joint taxes (every economist knows "economy of scale" principle). Of course, we could buy another joint property or start some joint business in real estate which I am very familiar with

My partner would need to have a similar life style: e.g. not being cheap, willing to mix incomes but not assets, like art in other words being accustomed to this lifestyle. I can't imagine arguing about things which I can somewhat afford myself already. I am a member of a country club (where everyone seems married); a sport club, travel every season for 2 weeks on average; go out to nice restaurants.

Is it realistic to find a partner like this? How would I "weed out" those under the parameters I am looking for? Are there dating platforms for wealthier people? I am not on any app at the moment, would it be a poor taste to put the requirements on the profile?

Hi OP. Maybe I’m the only one here but I think you are to be commended for your achievements and also that you should not settle for less than who and what you want. I am also divorced but with none of the education and wealth you possess. I couldn’t be more in awe of what you’ve accomplished and your freedom to do what you want. Good for you!! I don’t know where wealthy people meet since I’m not but I suspect the same way other social groups meet- through families and schools and recreation. A matchmaker doesn’t seem very romantic to me however you don’t seem like someone who will stand around and wait for something good to happen. You are ambitious and make things happen. Have you considered the Bay Area. There are many young female international ambitious entrepreneurs here who think like you do. You’d be very popular here. I think the advice you are getting is yes very American, but beyond that it’s very “east coast”. We are more open minded here! 😉 Best wishes to you and keep it up. I hope my daughters will be as successful as you, although unlikely since I can’t teach them how to do what you’ve done.

For one thing, she was married when she started her business. She had the time to do it. Most women are not in a position of being financially supported while they pursue entrepreneurial ventures. She got lucky. This is not that hard with that kind of safety net in a marriage. she had time and financial support.

You didn't read above that I worked in 3 months since landing on US soil and used my own savings as well to start the business. Everyone has time in life, and it's up to you how to use it. I backtracked my legal career in Europe (I was an associate at a US law firm in German). But we agreed that there would be a "compensatory" side business to me leaving legal career during the marriage. Would I have married my exH, if he wasn't driven or didnt support business development? Of course not! I would have stayed at my law firm. Some other foreign attorneys who stayed are now equity law partners making way more than I make in the US. But there are not married and don't have children, they had to sacrifice all these for their corporate careers. I likely would have been one of them, if I didn't marry

You were married and financially supported to give you time to build the business. Would not have had the time otherwise if you were working as a full-time employee. Your marriage allowed you to do this. Stop acting like you did not have a support system.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a woman in early 40s, recently divorced. Not looking to remarry immediately, I just date. But if I was to remarry, it would need to be someone "financially compatible". I have a net worth if $3.5mm (primarily real estate trust-like managed arrangement). No financial obligations except for a very small mortgage (net worth counted after mortgage).

My trust makes around 250k/year. I also work full time at a fed contractor making 100K/year at a contracting position. I am not particular career oriented as I already make enough for single lifestyle. Basically it's like having 2 jobs with gross total income 300-350k depending on a year. Ideally I need my future husband in a 300K+ income bracket, to "restore" the lifestyle I had prior to my divorce. I had a comfortable income with exH at 700-$1mm/year. I like traveling to Europe, skiing, nice clothing, restaurants etc. I would want to mix the income which has to be roughly equal, without mixing our pre-marital assets. That way we both could step up our joint lifestyle and afford more as a couple plus benefit on joint taxes (every economist knows "economy of scale" principle). Of course, we could buy another joint property or start some joint business in real estate which I am very familiar with

My partner would need to have a similar life style: e.g. not being cheap, willing to mix incomes but not assets, like art in other words being accustomed to this lifestyle. I can't imagine arguing about things which I can somewhat afford myself already. I am a member of a country club (where everyone seems married); a sport club, travel every season for 2 weeks on average; go out to nice restaurants.

Is it realistic to find a partner like this? How would I "weed out" those under the parameters I am looking for? Are there dating platforms for wealthier people? I am not on any app at the moment, would it be a poor taste to put the requirements on the profile?

Hi OP. Maybe I’m the only one here but I think you are to be commended for your achievements and also that you should not settle for less than who and what you want. I am also divorced but with none of the education and wealth you possess. I couldn’t be more in awe of what you’ve accomplished and your freedom to do what you want. Good for you!! I don’t know where wealthy people meet since I’m not but I suspect the same way other social groups meet- through families and schools and recreation. A matchmaker doesn’t seem very romantic to me however you don’t seem like someone who will stand around and wait for something good to happen. You are ambitious and make things happen. Have you considered the Bay Area. There are many young female international ambitious entrepreneurs here who think like you do. You’d be very popular here. I think the advice you are getting is yes very American, but beyond that it’s very “east coast”. We are more open minded here! 😉 Best wishes to you and keep it up. I hope my daughters will be as successful as you, although unlikely since I can’t teach them how to do what you’ve done.

I do think that marriage to the right person is incredibly important for both women and men to succeed in life. In their 20s your daughters don't need to look for wealth, but first of all get an excellent education and jobs themselves. Then choose the husband who is driven, has proven success track record (in sports, academically etc), not necessarily wealthy. There is a lot of "upper class" disrespect towards educated and successful women in "old money" American families, lots of hidden secrets, dirty secrets etc. Don't marry into such a family! It's very important to marry into a good very close knit family where parents love each other. My exH was all of it, but he was once divorced and from a family where dad cheated on mom. I ignored these "red flags" and it backfired at me many years later. Yes, it's sad being alone in mid 40s. But I still don't regret getting married, having a happy marriage for the first 12 year, having a child, building a business. Sometimes in life you can't get it all, as not everything is within your control.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a woman in early 40s, recently divorced. Not looking to remarry immediately, I just date. But if I was to remarry, it would need to be someone "financially compatible". I have a net worth if $3.5mm (primarily real estate trust-like managed arrangement). No financial obligations except for a very small mortgage (net worth counted after mortgage).

My trust makes around 250k/year. I also work full time at a fed contractor making 100K/year at a contracting position. I am not particular career oriented as I already make enough for single lifestyle. Basically it's like having 2 jobs with gross total income 300-350k depending on a year. Ideally I need my future husband in a 300K+ income bracket, to "restore" the lifestyle I had prior to my divorce. I had a comfortable income with exH at 700-$1mm/year. I like traveling to Europe, skiing, nice clothing, restaurants etc. I would want to mix the income which has to be roughly equal, without mixing our pre-marital assets. That way we both could step up our joint lifestyle and afford more as a couple plus benefit on joint taxes (every economist knows "economy of scale" principle). Of course, we could buy another joint property or start some joint business in real estate which I am very familiar with

My partner would need to have a similar life style: e.g. not being cheap, willing to mix incomes but not assets, like art in other words being accustomed to this lifestyle. I can't imagine arguing about things which I can somewhat afford myself already. I am a member of a country club (where everyone seems married); a sport club, travel every season for 2 weeks on average; go out to nice restaurants.

Is it realistic to find a partner like this? How would I "weed out" those under the parameters I am looking for? Are there dating platforms for wealthier people? I am not on any app at the moment, would it be a poor taste to put the requirements on the profile?

Hi OP. Maybe I’m the only one here but I think you are to be commended for your achievements and also that you should not settle for less than who and what you want. I am also divorced but with none of the education and wealth you possess. I couldn’t be more in awe of what you’ve accomplished and your freedom to do what you want. Good for you!! I don’t know where wealthy people meet since I’m not but I suspect the same way other social groups meet- through families and schools and recreation. A matchmaker doesn’t seem very romantic to me however you don’t seem like someone who will stand around and wait for something good to happen. You are ambitious and make things happen. Have you considered the Bay Area. There are many young female international ambitious entrepreneurs here who think like you do. You’d be very popular here. I think the advice you are getting is yes very American, but beyond that it’s very “east coast”. We are more open minded here! 😉 Best wishes to you and keep it up. I hope my daughters will be as successful as you, although unlikely since I can’t teach them how to do what you’ve done.

For one thing, she was married when she started her business. She had the time to do it. Most women are not in a position of being financially supported while they pursue entrepreneurial ventures. She got lucky. This is not that hard with that kind of safety net in a marriage. she had time and financial support.

You didn't read above that I worked in 3 months since landing on US soil and used my own savings as well to start the business. Everyone has time in life, and it's up to you how to use it. I backtracked my legal career in Europe (I was an associate at a US law firm in German). But we agreed that there would be a "compensatory" side business to me leaving legal career during the marriage. Would I have married my exH, if he wasn't driven or didnt support business development? Of course not! I would have stayed at my law firm. Some other foreign attorneys who stayed are now equity law partners making way more than I make in the US. But there are not married and don't have children, they had to sacrifice all these for their corporate careers. I likely would have been one of them, if I didn't marry

You were still financially supported and able to do it because your husband let you do it. My ex-husband would not let me do any entrepreneurial ventures whatsoever. He lied about it before marriage so you got lucky. Stop like you are so amazing because you’re really not— you had time and financial support.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a woman in early 40s, recently divorced. Not looking to remarry immediately, I just date. But if I was to remarry, it would need to be someone "financially compatible". I have a net worth if $3.5mm (primarily real estate trust-like managed arrangement). No financial obligations except for a very small mortgage (net worth counted after mortgage).

My trust makes around 250k/year. I also work full time at a fed contractor making 100K/year at a contracting position. I am not particular career oriented as I already make enough for single lifestyle. Basically it's like having 2 jobs with gross total income 300-350k depending on a year. Ideally I need my future husband in a 300K+ income bracket, to "restore" the lifestyle I had prior to my divorce. I had a comfortable income with exH at 700-$1mm/year. I like traveling to Europe, skiing, nice clothing, restaurants etc. I would want to mix the income which has to be roughly equal, without mixing our pre-marital assets. That way we both could step up our joint lifestyle and afford more as a couple plus benefit on joint taxes (every economist knows "economy of scale" principle). Of course, we could buy another joint property or start some joint business in real estate which I am very familiar with

My partner would need to have a similar life style: e.g. not being cheap, willing to mix incomes but not assets, like art in other words being accustomed to this lifestyle. I can't imagine arguing about things which I can somewhat afford myself already. I am a member of a country club (where everyone seems married); a sport club, travel every season for 2 weeks on average; go out to nice restaurants.

Is it realistic to find a partner like this? How would I "weed out" those under the parameters I am looking for? Are there dating platforms for wealthier people? I am not on any app at the moment, would it be a poor taste to put the requirements on the profile?

Hi OP. Maybe I’m the only one here but I think you are to be commended for your achievements and also that you should not settle for less than who and what you want. I am also divorced but with none of the education and wealth you possess. I couldn’t be more in awe of what you’ve accomplished and your freedom to do what you want. Good for you!! I don’t know where wealthy people meet since I’m not but I suspect the same way other social groups meet- through families and schools and recreation. A matchmaker doesn’t seem very romantic to me however you don’t seem like someone who will stand around and wait for something good to happen. You are ambitious and make things happen. Have you considered the Bay Area. There are many young female international ambitious entrepreneurs here who think like you do. You’d be very popular here. I think the advice you are getting is yes very American, but beyond that it’s very “east coast”. We are more open minded here! 😉 Best wishes to you and keep it up. I hope my daughters will be as successful as you, although unlikely since I can’t teach them how to do what you’ve done.

For one thing, she was married when she started her business. She had the time to do it. Most women are not in a position of being financially supported while they pursue entrepreneurial ventures. She got lucky. This is not that hard with that kind of safety net in a marriage. she had time and financial support.

You didn't read above that I worked in 3 months since landing on US soil and used my own savings as well to start the business. Everyone has time in life, and it's up to you how to use it. I backtracked my legal career in Europe (I was an associate at a US law firm in German). But we agreed that there would be a "compensatory" side business to me leaving legal career during the marriage. Would I have married my exH, if he wasn't driven or didnt support business development? Of course not! I would have stayed at my law firm. Some other foreign attorneys who stayed are now equity law partners making way more than I make in the US. But there are not married and don't have children, they had to sacrifice all these for their corporate careers. I likely would have been one of them, if I didn't marry

You were married and financially supported to give you time to build the business. Would not have had the time otherwise if you were working as a full-time employee. Your marriage allowed you to do this. Stop acting like you did not have a support system.

Of course I had a support system! But so did my exH from me. I was taking care of all household, working 2 jobs (he had one job and "delegated" all child bearing responsibilities to me, traveling 100 years a year on average for his job)
Regardless of my marriage I would be in the same place financially today, just in a different "portfolio". I would not have my son (whom I cant imagine my life without).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a woman in early 40s, recently divorced. Not looking to remarry immediately, I just date. But if I was to remarry, it would need to be someone "financially compatible". I have a net worth if $3.5mm (primarily real estate trust-like managed arrangement). No financial obligations except for a very small mortgage (net worth counted after mortgage).

My trust makes around 250k/year. I also work full time at a fed contractor making 100K/year at a contracting position. I am not particular career oriented as I already make enough for single lifestyle. Basically it's like having 2 jobs with gross total income 300-350k depending on a year. Ideally I need my future husband in a 300K+ income bracket, to "restore" the lifestyle I had prior to my divorce. I had a comfortable income with exH at 700-$1mm/year. I like traveling to Europe, skiing, nice clothing, restaurants etc. I would want to mix the income which has to be roughly equal, without mixing our pre-marital assets. That way we both could step up our joint lifestyle and afford more as a couple plus benefit on joint taxes (every economist knows "economy of scale" principle). Of course, we could buy another joint property or start some joint business in real estate which I am very familiar with

My partner would need to have a similar life style: e.g. not being cheap, willing to mix incomes but not assets, like art in other words being accustomed to this lifestyle. I can't imagine arguing about things which I can somewhat afford myself already. I am a member of a country club (where everyone seems married); a sport club, travel every season for 2 weeks on average; go out to nice restaurants.

Is it realistic to find a partner like this? How would I "weed out" those under the parameters I am looking for? Are there dating platforms for wealthier people? I am not on any app at the moment, would it be a poor taste to put the requirements on the profile?

Hi OP. Maybe I’m the only one here but I think you are to be commended for your achievements and also that you should not settle for less than who and what you want. I am also divorced but with none of the education and wealth you possess. I couldn’t be more in awe of what you’ve accomplished and your freedom to do what you want. Good for you!! I don’t know where wealthy people meet since I’m not but I suspect the same way other social groups meet- through families and schools and recreation. A matchmaker doesn’t seem very romantic to me however you don’t seem like someone who will stand around and wait for something good to happen. You are ambitious and make things happen. Have you considered the Bay Area. There are many young female international ambitious entrepreneurs here who think like you do. You’d be very popular here. I think the advice you are getting is yes very American, but beyond that it’s very “east coast”. We are more open minded here! 😉 Best wishes to you and keep it up. I hope my daughters will be as successful as you, although unlikely since I can’t teach them how to do what you’ve done.

For one thing, she was married when she started her business. She had the time to do it. Most women are not in a position of being financially supported while they pursue entrepreneurial ventures. She got lucky. This is not that hard with that kind of safety net in a marriage. she had time and financial support.

You didn't read above that I worked in 3 months since landing on US soil and used my own savings as well to start the business. Everyone has time in life, and it's up to you how to use it. I backtracked my legal career in Europe (I was an associate at a US law firm in German). But we agreed that there would be a "compensatory" side business to me leaving legal career during the marriage. Would I have married my exH, if he wasn't driven or didnt support business development? Of course not! I would have stayed at my law firm. Some other foreign attorneys who stayed are now equity law partners making way more than I make in the US. But there are not married and don't have children, they had to sacrifice all these for their corporate careers. I likely would have been one of them, if I didn't marry

You were still financially supported and able to do it because your husband let you do it. My ex-husband would not let me do any entrepreneurial ventures whatsoever. He lied about it before marriage so you got lucky. Stop like you are so amazing because you’re really not— you had time and financial support.

If my exH lied to me like that, I would have divorced him after one year of marriage, and returned to my legal career. I would not think twice about holding a sham marriage for my baby etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a woman in early 40s, recently divorced. Not looking to remarry immediately, I just date. But if I was to remarry, it would need to be someone "financially compatible". I have a net worth if $3.5mm (primarily real estate trust-like managed arrangement). No financial obligations except for a very small mortgage (net worth counted after mortgage).

My trust makes around 250k/year. I also work full time at a fed contractor making 100K/year at a contracting position. I am not particular career oriented as I already make enough for single lifestyle. Basically it's like having 2 jobs with gross total income 300-350k depending on a year. Ideally I need my future husband in a 300K+ income bracket, to "restore" the lifestyle I had prior to my divorce. I had a comfortable income with exH at 700-$1mm/year. I like traveling to Europe, skiing, nice clothing, restaurants etc. I would want to mix the income which has to be roughly equal, without mixing our pre-marital assets. That way we both could step up our joint lifestyle and afford more as a couple plus benefit on joint taxes (every economist knows "economy of scale" principle). Of course, we could buy another joint property or start some joint business in real estate which I am very familiar with

My partner would need to have a similar life style: e.g. not being cheap, willing to mix incomes but not assets, like art in other words being accustomed to this lifestyle. I can't imagine arguing about things which I can somewhat afford myself already. I am a member of a country club (where everyone seems married); a sport club, travel every season for 2 weeks on average; go out to nice restaurants.

Is it realistic to find a partner like this? How would I "weed out" those under the parameters I am looking for? Are there dating platforms for wealthier people? I am not on any app at the moment, would it be a poor taste to put the requirements on the profile?

Hi OP. Maybe I’m the only one here but I think you are to be commended for your achievements and also that you should not settle for less than who and what you want. I am also divorced but with none of the education and wealth you possess. I couldn’t be more in awe of what you’ve accomplished and your freedom to do what you want. Good for you!! I don’t know where wealthy people meet since I’m not but I suspect the same way other social groups meet- through families and schools and recreation. A matchmaker doesn’t seem very romantic to me however you don’t seem like someone who will stand around and wait for something good to happen. You are ambitious and make things happen. Have you considered the Bay Area. There are many young female international ambitious entrepreneurs here who think like you do. You’d be very popular here. I think the advice you are getting is yes very American, but beyond that it’s very “east coast”. We are more open minded here! 😉 Best wishes to you and keep it up. I hope my daughters will be as successful as you, although unlikely since I can’t teach them how to do what you’ve done.

For one thing, she was married when she started her business. She had the time to do it. Most women are not in a position of being financially supported while they pursue entrepreneurial ventures. She got lucky. This is not that hard with that kind of safety net in a marriage. she had time and financial support.

You didn't read above that I worked in 3 months since landing on US soil and used my own savings as well to start the business. Everyone has time in life, and it's up to you how to use it. I backtracked my legal career in Europe (I was an associate at a US law firm in German). But we agreed that there would be a "compensatory" side business to me leaving legal career during the marriage. Would I have married my exH, if he wasn't driven or didnt support business development? Of course not! I would have stayed at my law firm. Some other foreign attorneys who stayed are now equity law partners making way more than I make in the US. But there are not married and don't have children, they had to sacrifice all these for their corporate careers. I likely would have been one of them, if I didn't marry

You were still financially supported and able to do it because your husband let you do it. My ex-husband would not let me do any entrepreneurial ventures whatsoever. He lied about it before marriage so you got lucky. Stop like you are so amazing because you’re really not— you had time and financial support.

I am not acting as I am amazing, I don't even consider myself particular successful or wealthy. I "settled" for many things with my corporate career to be a wife and a mom, like many other women. I don't like my W2 job and want to find a different, more challenging and managerial position. I want to have liposuction as I can't get those naughty love handles go. Everyone has areas where you want to achieve more.

For your particular situation with a lying exH - why did you remain in the marriage? I know a very similar case when American husband married a lawyer from a prominent Argentinian family. Brought her to the US, she had a daughter. It turned out he lied about many things, basically locked her in a rural house in Virginia, didn't want her to return or look for a job etc. She ran with the baby on the first plane. There was a lengthly custody case which she won, remaining with the baby in Argentina. She's now a successful business woman. American dad got visitation.

I can only imagine what she went through to return back to her feet after such an abusive marriage!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a woman in early 40s, recently divorced. Not looking to remarry immediately, I just date. But if I was to remarry, it would need to be someone "financially compatible". I have a net worth if $3.5mm (primarily real estate trust-like managed arrangement). No financial obligations except for a very small mortgage (net worth counted after mortgage).

My trust makes around 250k/year. I also work full time at a fed contractor making 100K/year at a contracting position. I am not particular career oriented as I already make enough for single lifestyle. Basically it's like having 2 jobs with gross total income 300-350k depending on a year. Ideally I need my future husband in a 300K+ income bracket, to "restore" the lifestyle I had prior to my divorce. I had a comfortable income with exH at 700-$1mm/year. I like traveling to Europe, skiing, nice clothing, restaurants etc. I would want to mix the income which has to be roughly equal, without mixing our pre-marital assets. That way we both could step up our joint lifestyle and afford more as a couple plus benefit on joint taxes (every economist knows "economy of scale" principle). Of course, we could buy another joint property or start some joint business in real estate which I am very familiar with

My partner would need to have a similar life style: e.g. not being cheap, willing to mix incomes but not assets, like art in other words being accustomed to this lifestyle. I can't imagine arguing about things which I can somewhat afford myself already. I am a member of a country club (where everyone seems married); a sport club, travel every season for 2 weeks on average; go out to nice restaurants.

Is it realistic to find a partner like this? How would I "weed out" those under the parameters I am looking for? Are there dating platforms for wealthier people? I am not on any app at the moment, would it be a poor taste to put the requirements on the profile?

Hi OP. Maybe I’m the only one here but I think you are to be commended for your achievements and also that you should not settle for less than who and what you want. I am also divorced but with none of the education and wealth you possess. I couldn’t be more in awe of what you’ve accomplished and your freedom to do what you want. Good for you!! I don’t know where wealthy people meet since I’m not but I suspect the same way other social groups meet- through families and schools and recreation. A matchmaker doesn’t seem very romantic to me however you don’t seem like someone who will stand around and wait for something good to happen. You are ambitious and make things happen. Have you considered the Bay Area. There are many young female international ambitious entrepreneurs here who think like you do. You’d be very popular here. I think the advice you are getting is yes very American, but beyond that it’s very “east coast”. We are more open minded here! 😉 Best wishes to you and keep it up. I hope my daughters will be as successful as you, although unlikely since I can’t teach them how to do what you’ve done.

For one thing, she was married when she started her business. She had the time to do it. Most women are not in a position of being financially supported while they pursue entrepreneurial ventures. She got lucky. This is not that hard with that kind of safety net in a marriage. she had time and financial support.

You didn't read above that I worked in 3 months since landing on US soil and used my own savings as well to start the business. Everyone has time in life, and it's up to you how to use it. I backtracked my legal career in Europe (I was an associate at a US law firm in German). But we agreed that there would be a "compensatory" side business to me leaving legal career during the marriage. Would I have married my exH, if he wasn't driven or didnt support business development? Of course not! I would have stayed at my law firm. Some other foreign attorneys who stayed are now equity law partners making way more than I make in the US. But there are not married and don't have children, they had to sacrifice all these for their corporate careers. I likely would have been one of them, if I didn't marry

You were still financially supported and able to do it because your husband let you do it. My ex-husband would not let me do any entrepreneurial ventures whatsoever. He lied about it before marriage so you got lucky. Stop like you are so amazing because you’re really not— you had time and financial support.

If my exH lied to me like that, I would have divorced him after one year of marriage, and returned to my legal career. I would not think twice about holding a sham marriage for my baby etc.

Again you got lucky. I was in the wrong state and could not leave until I got back to the DC area because I could not risk getting stuck for 18 years in the wrong state for work reasons. Took me eight years to get back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a woman in early 40s, recently divorced. Not looking to remarry immediately, I just date. But if I was to remarry, it would need to be someone "financially compatible". I have a net worth if $3.5mm (primarily real estate trust-like managed arrangement). No financial obligations except for a very small mortgage (net worth counted after mortgage).

My trust makes around 250k/year. I also work full time at a fed contractor making 100K/year at a contracting position. I am not particular career oriented as I already make enough for single lifestyle. Basically it's like having 2 jobs with gross total income 300-350k depending on a year. Ideally I need my future husband in a 300K+ income bracket, to "restore" the lifestyle I had prior to my divorce. I had a comfortable income with exH at 700-$1mm/year. I like traveling to Europe, skiing, nice clothing, restaurants etc. I would want to mix the income which has to be roughly equal, without mixing our pre-marital assets. That way we both could step up our joint lifestyle and afford more as a couple plus benefit on joint taxes (every economist knows "economy of scale" principle). Of course, we could buy another joint property or start some joint business in real estate which I am very familiar with

My partner would need to have a similar life style: e.g. not being cheap, willing to mix incomes but not assets, like art in other words being accustomed to this lifestyle. I can't imagine arguing about things which I can somewhat afford myself already. I am a member of a country club (where everyone seems married); a sport club, travel every season for 2 weeks on average; go out to nice restaurants.

Is it realistic to find a partner like this? How would I "weed out" those under the parameters I am looking for? Are there dating platforms for wealthier people? I am not on any app at the moment, would it be a poor taste to put the requirements on the profile?

Hi OP. Maybe I’m the only one here but I think you are to be commended for your achievements and also that you should not settle for less than who and what you want. I am also divorced but with none of the education and wealth you possess. I couldn’t be more in awe of what you’ve accomplished and your freedom to do what you want. Good for you!! I don’t know where wealthy people meet since I’m not but I suspect the same way other social groups meet- through families and schools and recreation. A matchmaker doesn’t seem very romantic to me however you don’t seem like someone who will stand around and wait for something good to happen. You are ambitious and make things happen. Have you considered the Bay Area. There are many young female international ambitious entrepreneurs here who think like you do. You’d be very popular here. I think the advice you are getting is yes very American, but beyond that it’s very “east coast”. We are more open minded here! 😉 Best wishes to you and keep it up. I hope my daughters will be as successful as you, although unlikely since I can’t teach them how to do what you’ve done.

For one thing, she was married when she started her business. She had the time to do it. Most women are not in a position of being financially supported while they pursue entrepreneurial ventures. She got lucky. This is not that hard with that kind of safety net in a marriage. she had time and financial support.

You didn't read above that I worked in 3 months since landing on US soil and used my own savings as well to start the business. Everyone has time in life, and it's up to you how to use it. I backtracked my legal career in Europe (I was an associate at a US law firm in German). But we agreed that there would be a "compensatory" side business to me leaving legal career during the marriage. Would I have married my exH, if he wasn't driven or didnt support business development? Of course not! I would have stayed at my law firm. Some other foreign attorneys who stayed are now equity law partners making way more than I make in the US. But there are not married and don't have children, they had to sacrifice all these for their corporate careers. I likely would have been one of them, if I didn't marry

You were still financially supported and able to do it because your husband let you do it. My ex-husband would not let me do any entrepreneurial ventures whatsoever. He lied about it before marriage so you got lucky. Stop like you are so amazing because you’re really not— you had time and financial support.

If my exH lied to me like that, I would have divorced him after one year of marriage, and returned to my legal career. I would not think twice about holding a sham marriage for my baby etc.

Again you got lucky. I was in the wrong state and could not leave until I got back to the DC area because I could not risk getting stuck for 18 years in the wrong state for work reasons. Took me eight years to get back.

Sorry to hear that. Of course circumstances could be different. I was dating my exH for 2 years prior marriage, so it was obvious we wanted similar things in terms of future finances, career plans, children etc. But if he turned around lying, I would just go back to my parents and my home country with the baby and then go from there

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a woman in early 40s, recently divorced. Not looking to remarry immediately, I just date. But if I was to remarry, it would need to be someone "financially compatible". I have a net worth if $3.5mm (primarily real estate trust-like managed arrangement). No financial obligations except for a very small mortgage (net worth counted after mortgage).

My trust makes around 250k/year. I also work full time at a fed contractor making 100K/year at a contracting position. I am not particular career oriented as I already make enough for single lifestyle. Basically it's like having 2 jobs with gross total income 300-350k depending on a year. Ideally I need my future husband in a 300K+ income bracket, to "restore" the lifestyle I had prior to my divorce. I had a comfortable income with exH at 700-$1mm/year. I like traveling to Europe, skiing, nice clothing, restaurants etc. I would want to mix the income which has to be roughly equal, without mixing our pre-marital assets. That way we both could step up our joint lifestyle and afford more as a couple plus benefit on joint taxes (every economist knows "economy of scale" principle). Of course, we could buy another joint property or start some joint business in real estate which I am very familiar with

My partner would need to have a similar life style: e.g. not being cheap, willing to mix incomes but not assets, like art in other words being accustomed to this lifestyle. I can't imagine arguing about things which I can somewhat afford myself already. I am a member of a country club (where everyone seems married); a sport club, travel every season for 2 weeks on average; go out to nice restaurants.

Is it realistic to find a partner like this? How would I "weed out" those under the parameters I am looking for? Are there dating platforms for wealthier people? I am not on any app at the moment, would it be a poor taste to put the requirements on the profile?

Hi OP. Maybe I’m the only one here but I think you are to be commended for your achievements and also that you should not settle for less than who and what you want. I am also divorced but with none of the education and wealth you possess. I couldn’t be more in awe of what you’ve accomplished and your freedom to do what you want. Good for you!! I don’t know where wealthy people meet since I’m not but I suspect the same way other social groups meet- through families and schools and recreation. A matchmaker doesn’t seem very romantic to me however you don’t seem like someone who will stand around and wait for something good to happen. You are ambitious and make things happen. Have you considered the Bay Area. There are many young female international ambitious entrepreneurs here who think like you do. You’d be very popular here. I think the advice you are getting is yes very American, but beyond that it’s very “east coast”. We are more open minded here! 😉 Best wishes to you and keep it up. I hope my daughters will be as successful as you, although unlikely since I can’t teach them how to do what you’ve done.

For one thing, she was married when she started her business. She had the time to do it. Most women are not in a position of being financially supported while they pursue entrepreneurial ventures. She got lucky. This is not that hard with that kind of safety net in a marriage. she had time and financial support.

You didn't read above that I worked in 3 months since landing on US soil and used my own savings as well to start the business. Everyone has time in life, and it's up to you how to use it. I backtracked my legal career in Europe (I was an associate at a US law firm in German). But we agreed that there would be a "compensatory" side business to me leaving legal career during the marriage. Would I have married my exH, if he wasn't driven or didnt support business development? Of course not! I would have stayed at my law firm. Some other foreign attorneys who stayed are now equity law partners making way more than I make in the US. But there are not married and don't have children, they had to sacrifice all these for their corporate careers. I likely would have been one of them, if I didn't marry

You were still financially supported and able to do it because your husband let you do it. My ex-husband would not let me do any entrepreneurial ventures whatsoever. He lied about it before marriage so you got lucky. Stop like you are so amazing because you’re really not— you had time and financial support.

If my exH lied to me like that, I would have divorced him after one year of marriage, and returned to my legal career. I would not think twice about holding a sham marriage for my baby etc.

Again you got lucky. I was in the wrong state and could not leave until I got back to the DC area because I could not risk getting stuck for 18 years in the wrong state for work reasons. Took me eight years to get back.

Sorry to hear that. Of course circumstances could be different. I was dating my exH for 2 years prior marriage, so it was obvious we wanted similar things in terms of future finances, career plans, children etc. But if he turned around lying, I would just go back to my parents and my home country with the baby and then go from there

Stop congratulating yourself. I dated my ex 2.5 years before marriage; you are implying that I didn’t. Lied about more than one thing about the future. Fact of the matter is that you did have a good marriage because you were able to build a business with a supportive financial partner. I didn’t have parents to fall back on. They live in the United States but are completely useless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sort of seems like your first marriage was mostly a business arrangement. I don’t think trying to replicate that is the best plan. In your 40s, you don’t have to marry for crazy passionate love, but marriage is still more than a business arrangement. You should be looking for genuine compatibility, shared interests, kindness and consideration. If you find all of that in a man who only makes $160K, would you really not consider it?

I would start a relationship with a man who’s making 160k but it’s not a sign of a very driven person for DC at age 40. And likely he’s not same life style as me. I would give him ideas how to improve his income situation by moving jobs, making good investments but won’t officially marry until he can show ability to achieve more in life. I’ve made my first million at age 30 only after 5 years in the US

Some jobs pay more than others. This is silly. There are many driven coaches and parents and teachers and nurses. Stop looking just at money and look at energy levels.