How to marry a financially compatible man?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to grow up. I am early 40s divorced with kids. I make double your salary but do not have your wealth. My ex husband makes the same and would not even look at you and he is below the standards you set. You need a reality check. The chances of you finding wealth from a man in a second marriage is less than one percent.

I don’t know how anyone making 600k/year (and 1.2m/year jointly) for years would not have at least $3mm net worth. It means you and your exH were terrible managing your money and assets. I would not want someone who’s wasteful and wouldn’t look at your exH either

I’m talking about salary only in terms of income because that is all we have. I read that OP makes 100k (salary). I am only making 200k for the first time this year. I was making a little over 100 most of my career. My ex husband makes about the same— but with two jobs one being a federal employee. Our total income while married was 250-300 K a year. My ex-husband who earns just under 200k a year would not be interested in you is my point… if someone making that amount of money is not going to be interested in you someone who’s making a lot more money certainly isn’t going to be interested.

You can't tell for your exH who is interesting for him and who's not. Not every 40+ man with children looks for another marriage with kids. My exH prefers dating women his age or slightly younger because the last thing he wants is to deal with a toddler approaching age of 60. But I do agree that my options at 40+ would be more limited than my options at 30+. I can "waive" the height (can be shorter than me), looks (can have a belly as long is not too overweight and is good in bed, doens't need to run every 2 other days etc), no kids requirements.

I am not a trust fund heir. Being the first generation immigrant, I've built my real estate business over 10 years of hard work. In fact, it was "my" business my exH was primarily focused on his corporate career but when I filed for divorce he fought for the business like crazy. Our joint assets were worth around $10mm at the time of divorce, I got slightly less than that after legal fees and had to refinance one of the income properties to keep it. He retained his job 401K, eventually agreeing to "horse traded" assets as he couldn't really focus on the business going forward due to being tied at corporate career.

But I have a very good education (NY Bar) so after divorce I easily secured a position at 100k/year during the pandemic. I don't need to working making W2 salary, my business income would be enough to live rather comfortably. But this extra 100K makes up for the second lost income after divorce. Sorry but your salary of 100K for years even with the recent 200K is just not impressive to me as a female entrepreneur. It's highly insecure to have one source of income and no assets for cushion.

[Anonymous]

I assumed so but OP just confirmed it- she is a first gen immigrant. You are all looking at this through an American lens. OP are you Eastern European by chance?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to grow up. I am early 40s divorced with kids. I make double your salary but do not have your wealth. My ex husband makes the same and would not even look at you and he is below the standards you set. You need a reality check. The chances of you finding wealth from a man in a second marriage is less than one percent.

I don’t know how anyone making 600k/year (and 1.2m/year jointly) for years would not have at least $3mm net worth. It means you and your exH were terrible managing your money and assets. I would not want someone who’s wasteful and wouldn’t look at your exH either

I’m talking about salary only in terms of income because that is all we have. I read that OP makes 100k (salary). I am only making 200k for the first time this year. I was making a little over 100 most of my career. My ex husband makes about the same— but with two jobs one being a federal employee. Our total income while married was 250-300 K a year. My ex-husband who earns just under 200k a year would not be interested in you is my point… if someone making that amount of money is not going to be interested in you someone who’s making a lot more money certainly isn’t going to be interested.

You can't tell for your exH who is interesting for him and who's not. Not every 40+ man with children looks for another marriage with kids. My exH prefers dating women his age or slightly younger because the last thing he wants is to deal with a toddler approaching age of 60. But I do agree that my options at 40+ would be more limited than my options at 30+. I can "waive" the height (can be shorter than me), looks (can have a belly as long is not too overweight and is good in bed, doens't need to run every 2 other days etc), no kids requirements.

I am not a trust fund heir. Being the first generation immigrant, I've built my real estate business over 10 years of hard work. In fact, it was "my" business my exH was primarily focused on his corporate career but when I filed for divorce he fought for the business like crazy. Our joint assets were worth around $10mm at the time of divorce, I got slightly less than that after legal fees and had to refinance one of the income properties to keep it. He retained his job 401K, eventually agreeing to "horse traded" assets as he couldn't really focus on the business going forward due to being tied at corporate career.

But I have a very good education (NY Bar) so after divorce I easily secured a position at 100k/year during the pandemic. I don't need to working making W2 salary, my business income would be enough to live rather comfortably. But this extra 100K makes up for the second lost income after divorce. Sorry but your salary of 100K for years even with the recent 200K is just not impressive to me as a female entrepreneur. It's highly insecure to have one source of income and no assets for cushion.

I know because he does not (1) date women who waste money (2) she only actually earns 100k from working. She screams lazy and entitled. He does not waste money. She does. He also will never remarry. He makes less than her “requirements” and still would not give her the time of day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to grow up. I am early 40s divorced with kids. I make double your salary but do not have your wealth. My ex husband makes the same and would not even look at you and he is below the standards you set. You need a reality check. The chances of you finding wealth from a man in a second marriage is less than one percent.

I don’t know how anyone making 600k/year (and 1.2m/year jointly) for years would not have at least $3mm net worth. It means you and your exH were terrible managing your money and assets. I would not want someone who’s wasteful and wouldn’t look at your exH either

I’m talking about salary only in terms of income because that is all we have. I read that OP makes 100k (salary). I am only making 200k for the first time this year. I was making a little over 100 most of my career. My ex husband makes about the same— but with two jobs one being a federal employee. Our total income while married was 250-300 K a year. My ex-husband who earns just under 200k a year would not be interested in you is my point… if someone making that amount of money is not going to be interested in you someone who’s making a lot more money certainly isn’t going to be interested.

You can't tell for your exH who is interesting for him and who's not. Not every 40+ man with children looks for another marriage with kids. My exH prefers dating women his age or slightly younger because the last thing he wants is to deal with a toddler approaching age of 60. But I do agree that my options at 40+ would be more limited than my options at 30+. I can "waive" the height (can be shorter than me), looks (can have a belly as long is not too overweight and is good in bed, doens't need to run every 2 other days etc), no kids requirements.

I am not a trust fund heir. Being the first generation immigrant, I've built my real estate business over 10 years of hard work. In fact, it was "my" business my exH was primarily focused on his corporate career but when I filed for divorce he fought for the business like crazy. Our joint assets were worth around $10mm at the time of divorce, I got slightly less than that after legal fees and had to refinance one of the income properties to keep it. He retained his job 401K, eventually agreeing to "horse traded" assets as he couldn't really focus on the business going forward due to being tied at corporate career.

But I have a very good education (NY Bar) so after divorce I easily secured a position at 100k/year during the pandemic. I don't need to working making W2 salary, my business income would be enough to live rather comfortably. But this extra 100K makes up for the second lost income after divorce. Sorry but your salary of 100K for years even with the recent 200K is just not impressive to me as a female entrepreneur. It's highly insecure to have one source of income and no assets for cushion.

And i am not trying to be “impressive”; I was only giving factual info. I am not an entrepreneur. (I did not provide my retirement info). I am doing ok. I am not looking for a man or a man’s money like you are. You are pathetic. Stop looking for remarriage. Focus on your own life: you are vapid and materialistic and need to find some kind of meaning without your insane “lifestyle” requirements.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I actually understand OP’s viewpoint very well. She is looking for someone just like her financially and culturally.

I am curious how you built your real estate trust that generates $250k a year, OP.
I am late 40s but not too late for me to get wealthy.

I recommend reading CFA level 1 book and study the annuities. Google for all Excel real estate returns spreadsheets. Prepare your own spreadsheet and find good investments. Then prepay mortgage if it's over return rate on your other assets; stabilize properties renting them out while market is low, sell at 1031 exchange or refinance when the market is high. With a starting point of 100-200K salary you would be at 5mm net worth in about 15 years

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to grow up. I am early 40s divorced with kids. I make double your salary but do not have your wealth. My ex husband makes the same and would not even look at you and he is below the standards you set. You need a reality check. The chances of you finding wealth from a man in a second marriage is less than one percent.

I don’t know how anyone making 600k/year (and 1.2m/year jointly) for years would not have at least $3mm net worth. It means you and your exH were terrible managing your money and assets. I would not want someone who’s wasteful and wouldn’t look at your exH either

I’m talking about salary only in terms of income because that is all we have. I read that OP makes 100k (salary). I am only making 200k for the first time this year. I was making a little over 100 most of my career. My ex husband makes about the same— but with two jobs one being a federal employee. Our total income while married was 250-300 K a year. My ex-husband who earns just under 200k a year would not be interested in you is my point… if someone making that amount of money is not going to be interested in you someone who’s making a lot more money certainly isn’t going to be interested.

You can't tell for your exH who is interesting for him and who's not. Not every 40+ man with children looks for another marriage with kids. My exH prefers dating women his age or slightly younger because the last thing he wants is to deal with a toddler approaching age of 60. But I do agree that my options at 40+ would be more limited than my options at 30+. I can "waive" the height (can be shorter than me), looks (can have a belly as long is not too overweight and is good in bed, doens't need to run every 2 other days etc), no kids requirements.

I am not a trust fund heir. Being the first generation immigrant, I've built my real estate business over 10 years of hard work. In fact, it was "my" business my exH was primarily focused on his corporate career but when I filed for divorce he fought for the business like crazy. Our joint assets were worth around $10mm at the time of divorce, I got slightly less than that after legal fees and had to refinance one of the income properties to keep it. He retained his job 401K, eventually agreeing to "horse traded" assets as he couldn't really focus on the business going forward due to being tied at corporate career.

But I have a very good education (NY Bar) so after divorce I easily secured a position at 100k/year during the pandemic. I don't need to working making W2 salary, my business income would be enough to live rather comfortably. But this extra 100K makes up for the second lost income after divorce. Sorry but your salary of 100K for years even with the recent 200K is just not impressive to me as a female entrepreneur. It's highly insecure to have one source of income and no assets for cushion.

I know because he does not (1) date women who waste money (2) she only actually earns 100k from working. She screams lazy and entitled. He does not waste money. She does. He also will never remarry. He makes less than her “requirements” and still would not give her the time of day.

He also does not date attorneys. Funny.

[Anonymous]

All I can say is no decent man is going to be interested. You are shallow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel like most UMC men will make at least $300k. That should not be hard.

But they have more options than a frumpy and shallow 40-something divorcee.

[Anonymous]

Most of these men are married. You need a major reset of your expectations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to grow up. I am early 40s divorced with kids. I make double your salary but do not have your wealth. My ex husband makes the same and would not even look at you and he is below the standards you set. You need a reality check. The chances of you finding wealth from a man in a second marriage is less than one percent.

I don’t know how anyone making 600k/year (and 1.2m/year jointly) for years would not have at least $3mm net worth. It means you and your exH were terrible managing your money and assets. I would not want someone who’s wasteful and wouldn’t look at your exH either

I’m talking about salary only in terms of income because that is all we have. I read that OP makes 100k (salary). I am only making 200k for the first time this year. I was making a little over 100 most of my career. My ex husband makes about the same— but with two jobs one being a federal employee. Our total income while married was 250-300 K a year. My ex-husband who earns just under 200k a year would not be interested in you is my point… if someone making that amount of money is not going to be interested in you someone who’s making a lot more money certainly isn’t going to be interested.

You can't tell for your exH who is interesting for him and who's not. Not every 40+ man with children looks for another marriage with kids. My exH prefers dating women his age or slightly younger because the last thing he wants is to deal with a toddler approaching age of 60. But I do agree that my options at 40+ would be more limited than my options at 30+. I can "waive" the height (can be shorter than me), looks (can have a belly as long is not too overweight and is good in bed, doens't need to run every 2 other days etc), no kids requirements.

I am not a trust fund heir. Being the first generation immigrant, I've built my real estate business over 10 years of hard work. In fact, it was "my" business my exH was primarily focused on his corporate career but when I filed for divorce he fought for the business like crazy. Our joint assets were worth around $10mm at the time of divorce, I got slightly less than that after legal fees and had to refinance one of the income properties to keep it. He retained his job 401K, eventually agreeing to "horse traded" assets as he couldn't really focus on the business going forward due to being tied at corporate career.

But I have a very good education (NY Bar) so after divorce I easily secured a position at 100k/year during the pandemic. I don't need to working making W2 salary, my business income would be enough to live rather comfortably. But this extra 100K makes up for the second lost income after divorce. Sorry but your salary of 100K for years even with the recent 200K is just not impressive to me as a female entrepreneur. It's highly insecure to have one source of income and no assets for cushion.

I know because he does not (1) date women who waste money (2) she only actually earns 100k from working. She screams lazy and entitled. He does not waste money. She does. He also will never remarry. He makes less than her “requirements” and still would not give her the time of day.

You have no clue about money making or respect for entrepreneurship. My business income is official, I have business tax returns. I own and manage my business producing way more wealth and utility for my clients than someone sitting at a federal job. If someone is making a 300K from a corporate position this person is not wealthier or worthy more than I am. I could have easily made way more than 100K in corporate but I don't have time because I have 2 jobs basically.

So you can keep your boring fed job and your exH - neither are within my sphere of interests.

And yes I am European but I do find that Americans claim they are not about money whereby they are ONLY about money. I don't waste my money: I spend them on what's valuable to me: travel, art, charity, business development, sports etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like most UMC men will make at least $300k. That should not be hard.

But they have more options than a frumpy and shallow 40-something divorcee.

+1 most men will never even make 150k. I am also divorced with kids, look younger than my age but not looking for a man’s money. I would be thrilled if I met a good man I really liked who earn around 150k and do not waste money. I will never remarry. OP is in denial and looking for a unicorn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like most UMC men will make at least $300k. That should not be hard.

But they have more options than a frumpy and shallow 40-something divorcee.

I am not frumpy or shallow. I dont' have no time to waste. With the right person I would discuss politics, art, music, his interests. But in my experience most local men are pretty shallow and locked inside their federal cubical outlook at life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to grow up. I am early 40s divorced with kids. I make double your salary but do not have your wealth. My ex husband makes the same and would not even look at you and he is below the standards you set. You need a reality check. The chances of you finding wealth from a man in a second marriage is less than one percent.

I don’t know how anyone making 600k/year (and 1.2m/year jointly) for years would not have at least $3mm net worth. It means you and your exH were terrible managing your money and assets. I would not want someone who’s wasteful and wouldn’t look at your exH either

I’m talking about salary only in terms of income because that is all we have. I read that OP makes 100k (salary). I am only making 200k for the first time this year. I was making a little over 100 most of my career. My ex husband makes about the same— but with two jobs one being a federal employee. Our total income while married was 250-300 K a year. My ex-husband who earns just under 200k a year would not be interested in you is my point… if someone making that amount of money is not going to be interested in you someone who’s making a lot more money certainly isn’t going to be interested.

You can't tell for your exH who is interesting for him and who's not. Not every 40+ man with children looks for another marriage with kids. My exH prefers dating women his age or slightly younger because the last thing he wants is to deal with a toddler approaching age of 60. But I do agree that my options at 40+ would be more limited than my options at 30+. I can "waive" the height (can be shorter than me), looks (can have a belly as long is not too overweight and is good in bed, doens't need to run every 2 other days etc), no kids requirements.

I am not a trust fund heir. Being the first generation immigrant, I've built my real estate business over 10 years of hard work. In fact, it was "my" business my exH was primarily focused on his corporate career but when I filed for divorce he fought for the business like crazy. Our joint assets were worth around $10mm at the time of divorce, I got slightly less than that after legal fees and had to refinance one of the income properties to keep it. He retained his job 401K, eventually agreeing to "horse traded" assets as he couldn't really focus on the business going forward due to being tied at corporate career.

But I have a very good education (NY Bar) so after divorce I easily secured a position at 100k/year during the pandemic. I don't need to working making W2 salary, my business income would be enough to live rather comfortably. But this extra 100K makes up for the second lost income after divorce. Sorry but your salary of 100K for years even with the recent 200K is just not impressive to me as a female entrepreneur. It's highly insecure to have one source of income and no assets for cushion.

I know because he does not (1) date women who waste money (2) she only actually earns 100k from working. She screams lazy and entitled. He does not waste money. She does. He also will never remarry. He makes less than her “requirements” and still would not give her the time of day.

You have no clue about money making or respect for entrepreneurship. My business income is official, I have business tax returns. I own and manage my business producing way more wealth and utility for my clients than someone sitting at a federal job. If someone is making a 300K from a corporate position this person is not wealthier or worthy more than I am. I could have easily made way more than 100K in corporate but I don't have time because I have 2 jobs basically.

So you can keep your boring fed job and your exH - neither are within my sphere of interests.

And yes I am European but I do find that Americans claim they are not about money whereby they are ONLY about money. I don't waste my money: I spend them on what's valuable to me: travel, art, charity, business development, sports etc.

All of those things you spend on are wasteful and does not build wealth. Family member who makes way more than you do and would never spend money on that crap. That’s why he has so much money. You would not be attractive to truly wealthy people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like most UMC men will make at least $300k. That should not be hard.

But they have more options than a frumpy and shallow 40-something divorcee.

I am not frumpy or shallow. I dont' have no time to waste. With the right person I would discuss politics, art, music, his interests. But in my experience most local men are pretty shallow and locked inside their federal cubical outlook at life.

That was a different poster who was chiming in. More than one person is telling you that you need to be realistic!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to grow up. I am early 40s divorced with kids. I make double your salary but do not have your wealth. My ex husband makes the same and would not even look at you and he is below the standards you set. You need a reality check. The chances of you finding wealth from a man in a second marriage is less than one percent.

I don’t know how anyone making 600k/year (and 1.2m/year jointly) for years would not have at least $3mm net worth. It means you and your exH were terrible managing your money and assets. I would not want someone who’s wasteful and wouldn’t look at your exH either

I’m talking about salary only in terms of income because that is all we have. I read that OP makes 100k (salary). I am only making 200k for the first time this year. I was making a little over 100 most of my career. My ex husband makes about the same— but with two jobs one being a federal employee. Our total income while married was 250-300 K a year. My ex-husband who earns just under 200k a year would not be interested in you is my point… if someone making that amount of money is not going to be interested in you someone who’s making a lot more money certainly isn’t going to be interested.

You can't tell for your exH who is interesting for him and who's not. Not every 40+ man with children looks for another marriage with kids. My exH prefers dating women his age or slightly younger because the last thing he wants is to deal with a toddler approaching age of 60. But I do agree that my options at 40+ would be more limited than my options at 30+. I can "waive" the height (can be shorter than me), looks (can have a belly as long is not too overweight and is good in bed, doens't need to run every 2 other days etc), no kids requirements.

I am not a trust fund heir. Being the first generation immigrant, I've built my real estate business over 10 years of hard work. In fact, it was "my" business my exH was primarily focused on his corporate career but when I filed for divorce he fought for the business like crazy. Our joint assets were worth around $10mm at the time of divorce, I got slightly less than that after legal fees and had to refinance one of the income properties to keep it. He retained his job 401K, eventually agreeing to "horse traded" assets as he couldn't really focus on the business going forward due to being tied at corporate career.

But I have a very good education (NY Bar) so after divorce I easily secured a position at 100k/year during the pandemic. I don't need to working making W2 salary, my business income would be enough to live rather comfortably. But this extra 100K makes up for the second lost income after divorce. Sorry but your salary of 100K for years even with the recent 200K is just not impressive to me as a female entrepreneur. It's highly insecure to have one source of income and no assets for cushion.

I know because he does not (1) date women who waste money (2) she only actually earns 100k from working. She screams lazy and entitled. He does not waste money. She does. He also will never remarry. He makes less than her “requirements” and still would not give her the time of day.

You have no clue about money making or respect for entrepreneurship. My business income is official, I have business tax returns. I own and manage my business producing way more wealth and utility for my clients than someone sitting at a federal job. If someone is making a 300K from a corporate position this person is not wealthier or worthy more than I am. I could have easily made way more than 100K in corporate but I don't have time because I have 2 jobs basically.

So you can keep your boring fed job and your exH - neither are within my sphere of interests.

And yes I am European but I do find that Americans claim they are not about money whereby they are ONLY about money. I don't waste my money: I spend them on what's valuable to me: travel, art, charity, business development, sports etc.

All of those things you spend on are wasteful and does not build wealth. Family member who makes way more than you do and would never spend money on that crap. That’s why he has so much money. You would not be attractive to truly wealthy people.

What, a 15/year club membership is a waste for your wealthy relative? I found most of my long term business clients at my country club! Tennis lessons or a pool membership/or a house pool is wasteful, too? I can afford all of it at 350K and still contribute every year around 40K into 401k; have cash several hundred thousand, sitting in CDs for next 24 months waiting for the next good investment come by etc. I don't look to be uber wealthy but getting to 10mm by my age 55 is a set financial personal goal and I am on route there, despite my spending