How to marry a financially compatible man?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would just get comfortable With being single for now and date people you find interesting and enjoy spending time with. If, in the future, marriage seems like something that you want with a particular person, then weigh all the factors and decide what you want to do. You are early 40s with a grown up son. That is a very different point in life than most 40s professional men in the DC area who are high earners. Many, many of them will still have younger kids.

You don’t need to marry if it doesn’t fit with your life. So, just have fun for now.

I wouldn’t mind my partner to have young kids. I’ve always wanted another child and as long as it’s a good relationship and he’s not trying to not pick on me for not doing everything “his way” with kids, I would not segregate my child from his kids. I would totally host kids parties at my house (or our joint house), visit Disney, take them to sports etc. I would love to be a step mom to younger kids and later have a closer relationship with all the grand kids from my son and his grandkids. I would never refuse to devote joint money to his kids’ needs or education . If it’s a family it won’t be fair for one spouse kids to feel lesser than the other spouse

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What you seek is a business arrangement, not a marriage. Sorry but, you sound incapable of loving, which would explain your current circumstance. I wish you luck.

I am very loving, with endless patience and still pretty good looking. My exH didn’t want to divorce for these reasons and he still didn’t remarry. He was surrounded by ladies hunting for his money on business trips I couldn’t live next 5-10 years like that it was affecting my well being.

Marriage is a financial contract.

Maybe you should think about getting back together with your husband. A lot of things seemed to work for you in that marriage. Take it from somebody older than you, years 25-50 of marriage are about settling in with someone you are comfortable with. Big decisions are over (jobs, kids, etc). You seem to be comfortable with your exhusband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sort of seems like your first marriage was mostly a business arrangement. I don’t think trying to replicate that is the best plan. In your 40s, you don’t have to marry for crazy passionate love, but marriage is still more than a business arrangement. You should be looking for genuine compatibility, shared interests, kindness and consideration. If you find all of that in a man who only makes $160K, would you really not consider it?

I would start a relationship with a man who’s making 160k but it’s not a sign of a very driven person for DC at age 40. And likely he’s not same life style as me. I would give him ideas how to improve his income situation by moving jobs, making good investments but won’t officially marry until he can show ability to achieve more in life. I’ve made my first million at age 30 only after 5 years in the US

[Anonymous]

Easy, just put all this in your online profile or lay it out on the first date.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sort of seems like your first marriage was mostly a business arrangement. I don’t think trying to replicate that is the best plan. In your 40s, you don’t have to marry for crazy passionate love, but marriage is still more than a business arrangement. You should be looking for genuine compatibility, shared interests, kindness and consideration. If you find all of that in a man who only makes $160K, would you really not consider it?

I would start a relationship with a man who’s making 160k but it’s not a sign of a very driven person for DC at age 40. And likely he’s not same life style as me. I would give him ideas how to improve his income situation by moving jobs, making good investments but won’t officially marry until he can show ability to achieve more in life. I’ve made my first million at age 30 only after 5 years in the US

A lot of people don’t care about making large sums of money. Take your advice and shove it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What you seek is a business arrangement, not a marriage. Sorry but, you sound incapable of loving, which would explain your current circumstance. I wish you luck.

I am very loving, with endless patience and still pretty good looking. My exH didn’t want to divorce for these reasons and he still didn’t remarry. He was surrounded by ladies hunting for his money on business trips I couldn’t live next 5-10 years like that it was affecting my well being.

Marriage is a financial contract.

Maybe you should think about getting back together with your husband. A lot of things seemed to work for you in that marriage. Take it from somebody older than you, years 25-50 of marriage are about settling in with someone you are comfortable with. Big decisions are over (jobs, kids, etc). You seem to be comfortable with your exhusband.

No it would not be possible. A very disastrous divorce with fight over assets on his part. He showed so much filth I would never believe he could and can’t still fully process him doing this and the person I married. He also led double life for years cheating on me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sort of seems like your first marriage was mostly a business arrangement. I don’t think trying to replicate that is the best plan. In your 40s, you don’t have to marry for crazy passionate love, but marriage is still more than a business arrangement. You should be looking for genuine compatibility, shared interests, kindness and consideration. If you find all of that in a man who only makes $160K, would you really not consider it?

I would start a relationship with a man who’s making 160k but it’s not a sign of a very driven person for DC at age 40. And likely he’s not same life style as me. I would give him ideas how to improve his income situation by moving jobs, making good investments but won’t officially marry until he can show ability to achieve more in life. I’ve made my first million at age 30 only after 5 years in the US

A lot of people don’t care about making large sums of money. Take your advice and shove it.

300k is not a large sum of money in DC

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sort of seems like your first marriage was mostly a business arrangement. I don’t think trying to replicate that is the best plan. In your 40s, you don’t have to marry for crazy passionate love, but marriage is still more than a business arrangement. You should be looking for genuine compatibility, shared interests, kindness and consideration. If you find all of that in a man who only makes $160K, would you really not consider it?

I would start a relationship with a man who’s making 160k but it’s not a sign of a very driven person for DC at age 40. And likely he’s not same life style as me. I would give him ideas how to improve his income situation by moving jobs, making good investments but won’t officially marry until he can show ability to achieve more in life. I’ve made my first million at age 30 only after 5 years in the US

A lot of people don’t care about making large sums of money. Take your advice and shove it.

Guys who don’t care about making a good living should marry ladies alike not me.

[Anonymous]

In your case I think the best strategy is to remain single, potentially with a friend with benefits (as you seem to have) until you meet someone organically. Men in the category you’re describing are— like you!— pretty specific about what they’re looking for, and there is some overlap with what you want but it’s not 100% and you’ll waste a lot of time trying to filter for it. Do the things you enjoy (global travel, book discussions) and see if you meet someone that way. In the meantime you have your friend for the physical side of things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sort of seems like your first marriage was mostly a business arrangement. I don’t think trying to replicate that is the best plan. In your 40s, you don’t have to marry for crazy passionate love, but marriage is still more than a business arrangement. You should be looking for genuine compatibility, shared interests, kindness and consideration. If you find all of that in a man who only makes $160K, would you really not consider it?

I would start a relationship with a man who’s making 160k but it’s not a sign of a very driven person for DC at age 40. And likely he’s not same life style as me. I would give him ideas how to improve his income situation by moving jobs, making good investments but won’t officially marry until he can show ability to achieve more in life. I’ve made my first million at age 30 only after 5 years in the US

A lot of people don’t care about making large sums of money. Take your advice and shove it.

Guys who don’t care about making a good living should marry ladies alike not me.

Don’t worry, no one is going to marry you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sort of seems like your first marriage was mostly a business arrangement. I don’t think trying to replicate that is the best plan. In your 40s, you don’t have to marry for crazy passionate love, but marriage is still more than a business arrangement. You should be looking for genuine compatibility, shared interests, kindness and consideration. If you find all of that in a man who only makes $160K, would you really not consider it?

I would start a relationship with a man who’s making 160k but it’s not a sign of a very driven person for DC at age 40. And likely he’s not same life style as me. I would give him ideas how to improve his income situation by moving jobs, making good investments but won’t officially marry until he can show ability to achieve more in life. I’ve made my first million at age 30 only after 5 years in the US

A lot of people don’t care about making large sums of money. Take your advice and shove it.

Guys who don’t care about making a good living should marry ladies alike not me.

Don’t worry, no one is going to marry you.

Well, if one married me and remained married for 16 years I guess another could, too. Sorry if I offended any men here but 170k gross with 2-3 kids would really make you count items in your shopping cart. I won’t subsidize it. Their mom should chin on, too. I am not looking for a sponsor myself. If my man makes more than me I wouldn’t expect him contribute more than I do. A mixed joint/separate income and investments marriage would be fine

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sort of seems like your first marriage was mostly a business arrangement. I don’t think trying to replicate that is the best plan. In your 40s, you don’t have to marry for crazy passionate love, but marriage is still more than a business arrangement. You should be looking for genuine compatibility, shared interests, kindness and consideration. If you find all of that in a man who only makes $160K, would you really not consider it?

I would start a relationship with a man who’s making 160k but it’s not a sign of a very driven person for DC at age 40. And likely he’s not same life style as me. I would give him ideas how to improve his income situation by moving jobs, making good investments but won’t officially marry until he can show ability to achieve more in life. I’ve made my first million at age 30 only after 5 years in the US

A lot of people don’t care about making large sums of money. Take your advice and shove it.

Guys who don’t care about making a good living should marry ladies alike not me.

Don’t worry, no one is going to marry you.

My FB makes 0.5mm as AC systems installer, a first generation immigrant from El Salvador. He has 5 rental properties in dmv area and a higher net worth than me. He wants us to marry but he’s 7 years younger and not fluent in English. He never read a book only technical manuals for his job. I am not interested in marrying or even publicity dating him .
So no, there are guys who would totally marry me but I just look for a whole package with education and wealth

[Anonymous]

I feel like this is going to be tough. A lot of men at that income level will be looking at women 10-20 years younger than you. Sorry, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sort of seems like your first marriage was mostly a business arrangement. I don’t think trying to replicate that is the best plan. In your 40s, you don’t have to marry for crazy passionate love, but marriage is still more than a business arrangement. You should be looking for genuine compatibility, shared interests, kindness and consideration. If you find all of that in a man who only makes $160K, would you really not consider it?

I would start a relationship with a man who’s making 160k but it’s not a sign of a very driven person for DC at age 40. And likely he’s not same life style as me. I would give him ideas how to improve his income situation by moving jobs, making good investments but won’t officially marry until he can show ability to achieve more in life. I’ve made my first million at age 30 only after 5 years in the US

A lot of people don’t care about making large sums of money. Take your advice and shove it.

Guys who don’t care about making a good living should marry ladies alike not me.

Don’t worry, no one is going to marry you.

Well, if one married me and remained married for 16 years I guess another could, too. Sorry if I offended any men here but 170k gross with 2-3 kids would really make you count items in your shopping cart. I won’t subsidize it. Their mom should chin on, too. I am not looking for a sponsor myself. If my man makes more than me I wouldn’t expect him contribute more than I do. A mixed joint/separate income and investments marriage would be fine

Are you even listening to yourself? Why don’t you just auction yourself off to the the highest bidder?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel like this is going to be tough. A lot of men at that income level will be looking at women 10-20 years younger than you. Sorry, OP.

I am 43 it’s fine if he’s 50-55 doesn’t need to be anyone in his 40s. But I just look younger and younger men hit on me more often when I go to a pool etc