What do you do when your adult child goes into therapy and lays blame at your feet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He is in pain and he is expressing it and you want to make it go away with a quick "I'm sorry if I anything I did contributed to your unhappiness."

Obviously that is not going to be satisfying for your son! He doesn't want a throwaway non-apology, he wants you to listen and validate his feelings. Why not actually talk it through with him, admit that you made mistakes (specific, not a general "sorry if I made some mistakes") and explain why you did the things you did? Not to make it go away, but so he can see you that you actually care.

I don't think he has doubts that we care. I will admit somethings were mistakes, like homeschooling - it didn't work for him, he fought it. Other things like church were not a mistake even though he doesn't attend church now. The opportunity to go to college was not a mistake. He didn't like it and his grades weren’t good, but he had the chance to try it, but dropped out. Our marriage was challenging and I wish we hid it better from the kids. We did the best we knew at the time. If these are the worse things we did, we should be forgiven.

Don't know that you are still reading... but you say you made mistakes like the homeschooling which didn't work for him... So I assume you tried to homeschool him for kindergarten and after a few weeks/months of obvious failure, you sent him to a real school.. right??? Please don't tell me you kept him home with you for a decade plus in some weird dysfunctional failed attempt at homeschooling.... That really would be deeply creepy and abusive.

Also, reading between the lines, sounds like there was much more to this situation of forcing religion on him....

All parents who are religious "force religion on" their kids. Do you think anyone's kids willingly get out of bed and go to church on Sundays? Or whatever their religion happens to be? Hello, THEY DON'T. We also "force" all kinds of other things on kids, like school, behavior, etc. That's what happens when people raise their kids.

Wow! If the only way you get your kids to do any of this stuff is through force, your parenting abilities are somewhere between awful and non-existent!

LOL do you know any kids? Any families who go to church? Do you REALLY think the kids want to be there? What a joke.

DP. My kids were happy to go to church. You're the joke.

Sure they were.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He is in pain and he is expressing it and you want to make it go away with a quick "I'm sorry if I anything I did contributed to your unhappiness."

Obviously that is not going to be satisfying for your son! He doesn't want a throwaway non-apology, he wants you to listen and validate his feelings. Why not actually talk it through with him, admit that you made mistakes (specific, not a general "sorry if I made some mistakes") and explain why you did the things you did? Not to make it go away, but so he can see you that you actually care.

I don't think he has doubts that we care. I will admit somethings were mistakes, like homeschooling - it didn't work for him, he fought it. Other things like church were not a mistake even though he doesn't attend church now. The opportunity to go to college was not a mistake. He didn't like it and his grades weren’t good, but he had the chance to try it, but dropped out. Our marriage was challenging and I wish we hid it better from the kids. We did the best we knew at the time. If these are the worse things we did, we should be forgiven.

Don't know that you are still reading... but you say you made mistakes like the homeschooling which didn't work for him... So I assume you tried to homeschool him for kindergarten and after a few weeks/months of obvious failure, you sent him to a real school.. right??? Please don't tell me you kept him home with you for a decade plus in some weird dysfunctional failed attempt at homeschooling.... That really would be deeply creepy and abusive.

Also, reading between the lines, sounds like there was much more to this situation of forcing religion on him....

All parents who are religious "force religion on" their kids. Do you think anyone's kids willingly get out of bed and go to church on Sundays? Or whatever their religion happens to be? Hello, THEY DON'T. We also "force" all kinds of other things on kids, like school, behavior, etc. That's what happens when people raise their kids.

Wow! If the only way you get your kids to do any of this stuff is through force, your parenting abilities are somewhere between awful and non-existent!

LOL do you know any kids? Any families who go to church? Do you REALLY think the kids want to be there? What a joke.

DP. My kids were happy to go to church. You're the joke.

Sure they were.

You're angry and clueless, and that's on you. You obviously don't know the attractions of a youth group with a great leader and lots of your friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He is in pain and he is expressing it and you want to make it go away with a quick "I'm sorry if I anything I did contributed to your unhappiness."

Obviously that is not going to be satisfying for your son! He doesn't want a throwaway non-apology, he wants you to listen and validate his feelings. Why not actually talk it through with him, admit that you made mistakes (specific, not a general "sorry if I made some mistakes") and explain why you did the things you did? Not to make it go away, but so he can see you that you actually care.

I don't think he has doubts that we care. I will admit somethings were mistakes, like homeschooling - it didn't work for him, he fought it. Other things like church were not a mistake even though he doesn't attend church now. The opportunity to go to college was not a mistake. He didn't like it and his grades weren’t good, but he had the chance to try it, but dropped out. Our marriage was challenging and I wish we hid it better from the kids. We did the best we knew at the time. If these are the worse things we did, we should be forgiven.

Don't know that you are still reading... but you say you made mistakes like the homeschooling which didn't work for him... So I assume you tried to homeschool him for kindergarten and after a few weeks/months of obvious failure, you sent him to a real school.. right??? Please don't tell me you kept him home with you for a decade plus in some weird dysfunctional failed attempt at homeschooling.... That really would be deeply creepy and abusive.

Also, reading between the lines, sounds like there was much more to this situation of forcing religion on him....

All parents who are religious "force religion on" their kids. Do you think anyone's kids willingly get out of bed and go to church on Sundays? Or whatever their religion happens to be? Hello, THEY DON'T. We also "force" all kinds of other things on kids, like school, behavior, etc. That's what happens when people raise their kids.

Wow! If the only way you get your kids to do any of this stuff is through force, your parenting abilities are somewhere between awful and non-existent!

LOL do you know any kids? Any families who go to church? Do you REALLY think the kids want to be there? What a joke.

DP. My kids were happy to go to church. You're the joke.

Sure they were.

You're angry and clueless, and that's on you. You obviously don't know the attractions of a youth group with a great leader and lots of your friends.

In my experience the church youth groups are a magnet for pedo's. Not saying every adult that is involved with a youth group is weird, but there are some weirdos target kids like there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He is in pain and he is expressing it and you want to make it go away with a quick "I'm sorry if I anything I did contributed to your unhappiness."

Obviously that is not going to be satisfying for your son! He doesn't want a throwaway non-apology, he wants you to listen and validate his feelings. Why not actually talk it through with him, admit that you made mistakes (specific, not a general "sorry if I made some mistakes") and explain why you did the things you did? Not to make it go away, but so he can see you that you actually care.

I don't think he has doubts that we care. I will admit somethings were mistakes, like homeschooling - it didn't work for him, he fought it. Other things like church were not a mistake even though he doesn't attend church now. The opportunity to go to college was not a mistake. He didn't like it and his grades weren’t good, but he had the chance to try it, but dropped out. Our marriage was challenging and I wish we hid it better from the kids. We did the best we knew at the time. If these are the worse things we did, we should be forgiven.

Don't know that you are still reading... but you say you made mistakes like the homeschooling which didn't work for him... So I assume you tried to homeschool him for kindergarten and after a few weeks/months of obvious failure, you sent him to a real school.. right??? Please don't tell me you kept him home with you for a decade plus in some weird dysfunctional failed attempt at homeschooling.... That really would be deeply creepy and abusive.

Also, reading between the lines, sounds like there was much more to this situation of forcing religion on him....

All parents who are religious "force religion on" their kids. Do you think anyone's kids willingly get out of bed and go to church on Sundays? Or whatever their religion happens to be? Hello, THEY DON'T. We also "force" all kinds of other things on kids, like school, behavior, etc. That's what happens when people raise their kids.

Wow! If the only way you get your kids to do any of this stuff is through force, your parenting abilities are somewhere between awful and non-existent!

LOL do you know any kids? Any families who go to church? Do you REALLY think the kids want to be there? What a joke.

DP. My kids were happy to go to church. You're the joke.

Sure they were.

You're angry and clueless, and that's on you. You obviously don't know the attractions of a youth group with a great leader and lots of your friends.

In my experience the church youth groups are a magnet for pedo's. Not saying every adult that is involved with a youth group is weird, but there are some weirdos target kids like there.

In my experience, people like you who generalize with gross stereotypes aren’t worth listening to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He is in pain and he is expressing it and you want to make it go away with a quick "I'm sorry if I anything I did contributed to your unhappiness."

Obviously that is not going to be satisfying for your son! He doesn't want a throwaway non-apology, he wants you to listen and validate his feelings. Why not actually talk it through with him, admit that you made mistakes (specific, not a general "sorry if I made some mistakes") and explain why you did the things you did? Not to make it go away, but so he can see you that you actually care.

I don't think he has doubts that we care. I will admit somethings were mistakes, like homeschooling - it didn't work for him, he fought it. Other things like church were not a mistake even though he doesn't attend church now. The opportunity to go to college was not a mistake. He didn't like it and his grades weren’t good, but he had the chance to try it, but dropped out. Our marriage was challenging and I wish we hid it better from the kids. We did the best we knew at the time. If these are the worse things we did, we should be forgiven.

Don't know that you are still reading... but you say you made mistakes like the homeschooling which didn't work for him... So I assume you tried to homeschool him for kindergarten and after a few weeks/months of obvious failure, you sent him to a real school.. right??? Please don't tell me you kept him home with you for a decade plus in some weird dysfunctional failed attempt at homeschooling.... That really would be deeply creepy and abusive.

Also, reading between the lines, sounds like there was much more to this situation of forcing religion on him....

All parents who are religious "force religion on" their kids. Do you think anyone's kids willingly get out of bed and go to church on Sundays? Or whatever their religion happens to be? Hello, THEY DON'T. We also "force" all kinds of other things on kids, like school, behavior, etc. That's what happens when people raise their kids.

Wow! If the only way you get your kids to do any of this stuff is through force, your parenting abilities are somewhere between awful and non-existent!

LOL do you know any kids? Any families who go to church? Do you REALLY think the kids want to be there? What a joke.

DP. My kids were happy to go to church. You're the joke.

Sure they were.

You're angry and clueless, and that's on you. You obviously don't know the attractions of a youth group with a great leader and lots of your friends.

In my experience the church youth groups are a magnet for pedo's. Not saying every adult that is involved with a youth group is weird, but there are some weirdos target kids like there.

In my experience, people like you who generalize with gross stereotypes aren’t worth listening to.

That's what the pedo's are hoping for. Cover your eyes and ears, your kids are safe in a house of worship.

[Anonymous]

Let go, job as a parent is to bring/raise a human being to contribute to society- be responsible, moral, independent, hopefully kind and loving. Hard job, do the best we can, and then let them go at 18. Hopefully the kid will appreciate or understand you when they are an adult. If not, that’s them. They are an adult and can go on their own. As a parent, let go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lazy therapists always go back to “mom.”

Ask how your mom was growing up, wait for you to say something negative. That. That’s it. That’s why you are having a hard time.

It may be true; However, it doesn’t make it her fault.

Bad usage : mom was a perfectionist. This is why you are a perfectionist. She was terrible. You can fix this somehow by blaming all of it on her.

Good usage : mom was a perfectionist. This is why you are a perfectionist. She is probably that way, because her mom was. Because her dad was abusive. Because of the depression. Or WWII. Etc. It’s just human nature for centuries. Patterns. Here is how you escape that pattern. Here is what to do. And don’t blame her, she is also human.

PP can’t abuse a stranger because PP has no power over a stranger. If you don’t understand how the inherent power that parents have over children intensifies what parents do, it is not surprising that you do not understand what adults who have been subjected to abuse, neglect, gaslighting, parentification, emotional incest, excessive demands for achievement, and all the rest of it are talking about. Maybe it’s good for you that you do not.
My mom was abused and she abused me. I was abused by my mom and YET I have never abused any child, most especially my own. Before you credit my mom for me not being abusive, you should know she was an alcoholic who physically, verbally and mentally abused me and she neglected my physical and emotional needs. My father abandoned the family and didn't protect me. Why am I not a monster? Short answer: you don't abuse children.

So your Mom probably was abused more than you or worse than you or maybe she grew up with less of an education or resources than you, maybe she had more children than you. Your life is not the same as hers. You are emontionally abusing an abused woman - your mother.

Why did she not only not protect, but abuse me? She allowed others to hit me, too. When I came to her for help, she effectively silenced me. Her abuse and neglect of me desensitized me to abuse and contributed to my tolerating dating violence. I was nearly killed by a boyfriend when I was 16.
I never blamed my mother while she lived. I was a dutiful daughter who worked to gainmy mother's love and acceptance, which she never gave me. Tell me again how I abused her.

Your lack of compassion for her pain is violence.

She caused my pain. How would you characterize her? Also, why do I not abuse children?

She was a victim of violence and abuse too. But her pain is nothing. Yours is everything. You seem emotionally unstable so I am sure your children are suffering from your bitterness and emotional trauma, you just can't see past it and recognize how it affects them.

You're a dunderhead. Knowing what my mother suffered gives me understanding of why she was an abusive, neglectful alcoholic. It doesn't mitigate the suffering I endure because of her treatment of me. I have decades of therapy under my belt, much of it *before having children. I am what is known as a good enough mother and my children are thriving. Like my mother, I carry the pain, shame and hurt through this life. Unlike my mother, I DO NOT take it out on others.
I think you are a pot stirring troll and likely "spank" your kids.

This right here is an example of you perpetuating abuse. On strangers if not on your kids, although the fact that you call people names anonymously doesn’t promise well for how you treat your kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lazy therapists always go back to “mom.”

Ask how your mom was growing up, wait for you to say something negative. That. That’s it. That’s why you are having a hard time.

It may be true; However, it doesn’t make it her fault.

Bad usage : mom was a perfectionist. This is why you are a perfectionist. She was terrible. You can fix this somehow by blaming all of it on her.

Good usage : mom was a perfectionist. This is why you are a perfectionist. She is probably that way, because her mom was. Because her dad was abusive. Because of the depression. Or WWII. Etc. It’s just human nature for centuries. Patterns. Here is how you escape that pattern. Here is what to do. And don’t blame her, she is also human.

My mom was abused and she abused me. I was abused by my mom and YET I have never abused any child, most especially my own. Before you credit my mom for me not being abusive, you should know she was an alcoholic who physically, verbally and mentally abused me and she neglected my physical and emotional needs. My father abandoned the family and didn't protect me. Why am I not a monster? Short answer: you don't abuse children.

So your Mom probably was abused more than you or worse than you or maybe she grew up with less of an education or resources than you, maybe she had more children than you. Your life is not the same as hers. You are emontionally abusing an abused woman - your mother.

Why did she not only not protect, but abuse me? She allowed others to hit me, too. When I came to her for help, she effectively silenced me. Her abuse and neglect of me desensitized me to abuse and contributed to my tolerating dating violence. I was nearly killed by a boyfriend when I was 16.
I never blamed my mother while she lived. I was a dutiful daughter who worked to gainmy mother's love and acceptance, which she never gave me. Tell me again how I abused her.

Your lack of compassion for her pain is violence.

She caused my pain. How would you characterize her? Also, why do I not abuse children?

She was a victim of violence and abuse too. But her pain is nothing. Yours is everything. You seem emotionally unstable so I am sure your children are suffering from your bitterness and emotional trauma, you just can't see past it and recognize how it affects them.

You're a dunderhead. Knowing what my mother suffered gives me understanding of why she was an abusive, neglectful alcoholic. It doesn't mitigate the suffering I endure because of her treatment of me. I have decades of therapy under my belt, much of it *before having children. I am what is known as a good enough mother and my children are thriving. Like my mother, I carry the pain, shame and hurt through this life. Unlike my mother, I DO NOT take it out on others.
I think you are a pot stirring troll and likely "spank" your kids.

This right here is an example of you perpetuating abuse. On strangers if not on your kids, although the fact that you call people names anonymously doesn’t promise well for how you treat your kids.

This is nonsense. PP cannot "abuse" a stranger on the internet, because PP has no power over a stranger on the internet. If you don't understand the power that parents have over children, you really have no hope of comprehending how that intensifies the child's experience of things parents do. And it means that the odds are low that you will ever understand what adults who experienced neglect, gaslighting, humiliation/shaming, parentification, emotional incest, and all the rest that is not physical abuse are describing or responding to, or why these things have such long consequences in the life of an adult who experienced them as a child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He is in pain and he is expressing it and you want to make it go away with a quick "I'm sorry if I anything I did contributed to your unhappiness."

Obviously that is not going to be satisfying for your son! He doesn't want a throwaway non-apology, he wants you to listen and validate his feelings. Why not actually talk it through with him, admit that you made mistakes (specific, not a general "sorry if I made some mistakes") and explain why you did the things you did? Not to make it go away, but so he can see you that you actually care.

I don't think he has doubts that we care. I will admit somethings were mistakes, like homeschooling - it didn't work for him, he fought it. Other things like church were not a mistake even though he doesn't attend church now. The opportunity to go to college was not a mistake. He didn't like it and his grades weren’t good, but he had the chance to try it, but dropped out. Our marriage was challenging and I wish we hid it better from the kids. We did the best we knew at the time. If these are the worse things we did, we should be forgiven.

Don't know that you are still reading... but you say you made mistakes like the homeschooling which didn't work for him... So I assume you tried to homeschool him for kindergarten and after a few weeks/months of obvious failure, you sent him to a real school.. right??? Please don't tell me you kept him home with you for a decade plus in some weird dysfunctional failed attempt at homeschooling.... That really would be deeply creepy and abusive.

Also, reading between the lines, sounds like there was much more to this situation of forcing religion on him....

All parents who are religious "force religion on" their kids. Do you think anyone's kids willingly get out of bed and go to church on Sundays? Or whatever their religion happens to be? Hello, THEY DON'T. We also "force" all kinds of other things on kids, like school, behavior, etc. That's what happens when people raise their kids.

Wow! If the only way you get your kids to do any of this stuff is through force, your parenting abilities are somewhere between awful and non-existent!

LOL do you know any kids? Any families who go to church? Do you REALLY think the kids want to be there? What a joke.

DP. My kids were happy to go to church. You're the joke.

Sure they were.

You're angry and clueless, and that's on you. You obviously don't know the attractions of a youth group with a great leader and lots of your friends.

In my experience the church youth groups are a magnet for pedo's. Not saying every adult that is involved with a youth group is weird, but there are some weirdos target kids like there.

In my experience, people like you who generalize with gross stereotypes aren’t worth listening to.

That's what the pedo's are hoping for. Cover your eyes and ears, your kids are safe in a house of worship.

You undermine yourself with every insane post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lazy therapists always go back to “mom.”

Ask how your mom was growing up, wait for you to say something negative. That. That’s it. That’s why you are having a hard time.

It may be true; However, it doesn’t make it her fault.

Bad usage : mom was a perfectionist. This is why you are a perfectionist. She was terrible. You can fix this somehow by blaming all of it on her.

Good usage : mom was a perfectionist. This is why you are a perfectionist. She is probably that way, because her mom was. Because her dad was abusive. Because of the depression. Or WWII. Etc. It’s just human nature for centuries. Patterns. Here is how you escape that pattern. Here is what to do. And don’t blame her, she is also human.

My mom was abused and she abused me. I was abused by my mom and YET I have never abused any child, most especially my own. Before you credit my mom for me not being abusive, you should know she was an alcoholic who physically, verbally and mentally abused me and she neglected my physical and emotional needs. My father abandoned the family and didn't protect me. Why am I not a monster? Short answer: you don't abuse children.

So your Mom probably was abused more than you or worse than you or maybe she grew up with less of an education or resources than you, maybe she had more children than you. Your life is not the same as hers. You are emontionally abusing an abused woman - your mother.

Why did she not only not protect, but abuse me? She allowed others to hit me, too. When I came to her for help, she effectively silenced me. Her abuse and neglect of me desensitized me to abuse and contributed to my tolerating dating violence. I was nearly killed by a boyfriend when I was 16.
I never blamed my mother while she lived. I was a dutiful daughter who worked to gainmy mother's love and acceptance, which she never gave me. Tell me again how I abused her.

Your lack of compassion for her pain is violence.

She caused my pain. How would you characterize her? Also, why do I not abuse children?

She was a victim of violence and abuse too. But her pain is nothing. Yours is everything. You seem emotionally unstable so I am sure your children are suffering from your bitterness and emotional trauma, you just can't see past it and recognize how it affects them.

You're a dunderhead. Knowing what my mother suffered gives me understanding of why she was an abusive, neglectful alcoholic. It doesn't mitigate the suffering I endure because of her treatment of me. I have decades of therapy under my belt, much of it *before having children. I am what is known as a good enough mother and my children are thriving. Like my mother, I carry the pain, shame and hurt through this life. Unlike my mother, I DO NOT take it out on others.
I think you are a pot stirring troll and likely "spank" your kids.

This right here is an example of you perpetuating abuse. On strangers if not on your kids, although the fact that you call people names anonymously doesn’t promise well for how you treat your kids.

This is nonsense. PP cannot "abuse" a stranger on the internet, because PP has no power over a stranger on the internet. If you don't understand the power that parents have over children, you really have no hope of comprehending how that intensifies the child's experience of things parents do. And it means that the odds are low that you will ever understand what adults who experienced neglect, gaslighting, humiliation/shaming, parentification, emotional incest, and all the rest that is not physical abuse are describing or responding to, or why these things have such long consequences in the life of an adult who experienced them as a child.

You have no clue. Posters often try to abuse people over the internet. It’s a power thing. A sad, impotent power game, but a power game nonetheless. Pp is an angry troll who only experiences virtual power… on DCUM of all places.

[Anonymous]

My husband was very involved with his (methodist)church youth groups growing up in the 70s and 80s. He had a tough childhood with the untimely liss if his father and an alcoholic mother. His pastor was a great father figure to him. His pastor was also married with a couple kids. The youth groups were also led by other church volunteer leaders like moms etc. He grew up in a small town and he credits church youth group support with helping him through. He is not religious or church going as an adult though. But more bc he has limited time and not as much need, at least now

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He is in pain and he is expressing it and you want to make it go away with a quick "I'm sorry if I anything I did contributed to your unhappiness."

Obviously that is not going to be satisfying for your son! He doesn't want a throwaway non-apology, he wants you to listen and validate his feelings. Why not actually talk it through with him, admit that you made mistakes (specific, not a general "sorry if I made some mistakes") and explain why you did the things you did? Not to make it go away, but so he can see you that you actually care.

I don't think he has doubts that we care. I will admit somethings were mistakes, like homeschooling - it didn't work for him, he fought it. Other things like church were not a mistake even though he doesn't attend church now. The opportunity to go to college was not a mistake. He didn't like it and his grades weren’t good, but he had the chance to try it, but dropped out. Our marriage was challenging and I wish we hid it better from the kids. We did the best we knew at the time. If these are the worse things we did, we should be forgiven.

Don't know that you are still reading... but you say you made mistakes like the homeschooling which didn't work for him... So I assume you tried to homeschool him for kindergarten and after a few weeks/months of obvious failure, you sent him to a real school.. right??? Please don't tell me you kept him home with you for a decade plus in some weird dysfunctional failed attempt at homeschooling.... That really would be deeply creepy and abusive.

Also, reading between the lines, sounds like there was much more to this situation of forcing religion on him....

All parents who are religious "force religion on" their kids. Do you think anyone's kids willingly get out of bed and go to church on Sundays? Or whatever their religion happens to be? Hello, THEY DON'T. We also "force" all kinds of other things on kids, like school, behavior, etc. That's what happens when people raise their kids.

Wow! If the only way you get your kids to do any of this stuff is through force, your parenting abilities are somewhere between awful and non-existent!

LOL do you know any kids? Any families who go to church? Do you REALLY think the kids want to be there? What a joke.

DP. My kids were happy to go to church. You're the joke.

Sure they were.

You're angry and clueless, and that's on you. You obviously don't know the attractions of a youth group with a great leader and lots of your friends.

In my experience the church youth groups are a magnet for pedo's. Not saying every adult that is involved with a youth group is weird, but there are some weirdos target kids like there.

In my experience, people like you who generalize with gross stereotypes aren’t worth listening to.

That's what the pedo's are hoping for. Cover your eyes and ears, your kids are safe in a house of worship.

You undermine yourself with every insane post.

You are a stupid fool.

[Anonymous]

Be aware that anyone can become a therapist. Anyone. The training and supervision for many therapists comes from other therapists who charge them for thousands of hours to reach certification. It's a money making business, for sure, and the supervision part is very lucrative. I know many therapists in the field that I am in- family therapists, relationship therapists, or children's therapists who actually don't have, and never had families of their own and have trouble staying in a relationship themselves. But they love being the judge in things they are insecure about to begin with, and are often quite unstable.

So, there's that.
And, all, I mean all mothers end up being labeled narcissists. It's a buzz word now, among other therapy speak adages.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Be aware that anyone can become a therapist. Anyone. The training and supervision for many therapists comes from other therapists who charge them for thousands of hours to reach certification. It's a money making business, for sure, and the supervision part is very lucrative. I know many therapists in the field that I am in- family therapists, relationship therapists, or children's therapists who actually don't have, and never had families of their own and have trouble staying in a relationship themselves. But they love being the judge in things they are insecure about to begin with, and are often quite unstable.

So, there's that.
And, all, I mean all mothers end up being labeled narcissists. It's a buzz word now, among other therapy speak adages.

So many people I know with issues become therapists. They are so happy they got help in some area that they want to help others but it’s a cognitive issue that just carries over into their work. Therapy has no medical tests. The only therapy we’ve done that has been helpful is skill based. Learn a skill like school and talk about it. With many people, not just a therapist

[Anonymous]

Kids aren’t born even. Some struggle their entire lives and others take things in stride. As a society we have to get over treating everyone equal. They aren’t.