What did your spouse's midlife crisis look like?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH took the extreme activities and multiple affairs route in his mid-to-late 40s. It started with one-night stands while traveling for business. Then he went sky diving. Then he did some ultimate driving experience with race cars. Then he flew a plane that went really fast.

He started traveling a ton for work and graduated to multiple girlfriends around the country. Around 3-6 at a time. They got too much to juggle, so he started with the luxury escorts. $1,000 per hour. Spent $20K one summer.

Then the gambling. Hiding thousands of dollars he’s lose at casinos.

His main motivation was that he didn’t want to miss out on any life experiences. Would say you only get one chance to do this life.

He’s been in therapy for years now and has done a 180. Somewhere along the way he realized he’d never find what he was looking for. So much guilt, shame, and remorse.

So you stayed with him throughout all of this? That's some difficult stuff to process and then still stay. How many years was he like this? What changed his perspective at the end?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After 30 years of marriage, and turning 50, wife, in a mid-life crisis, had a few affairs. One long term, probably still occurring to this day. When pressed on the issue, she will not agree to a separation or divorce. Too much water under the bridge. I will always forgive her. I just cannot go down the road she's traveled. Never have believed that two wrongs make a right.

She got married at 20 years old???

Yes we did. Your math is correct.

Well then she should be forgiven for sowing the wild oats she never got to sow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After 30 years of marriage, and turning 50, wife, in a mid-life crisis, had a few affairs. One long term, probably still occurring to this day. When pressed on the issue, she will not agree to a separation or divorce. Too much water under the bridge. I will always forgive her. I just cannot go down the road she's traveled. Never have believed that two wrongs make a right.

Well, 50 is kinda old for a 'mid-life' crisis. And I'm wondering if there's really a demand for a 50-year-old AP from multiple men.. Is there?

I'm a nearly 50 year old single woman. Yes, there's a demand. From multiple men. I'm sure it's even higher for an unhappy married woman who's probably down for NSA sex.
She likely has a rotation of hot early thirty-somethings, along with her devoted husband who will never leave her. Not a bad deal for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After 30 years of marriage, and turning 50, wife, in a mid-life crisis, had a few affairs. One long term, probably still occurring to this day. When pressed on the issue, she will not agree to a separation or divorce. Too much water under the bridge. I will always forgive her. I just cannot go down the road she's traveled. Never have believed that two wrongs make a right.

Well, 50 is kinda old for a 'mid-life' crisis. And I'm wondering if there's really a demand for a 50-year-old AP from multiple men.. Is there?

I'm a nearly 50 year old single woman. Yes, there's a demand. From multiple men. I'm sure it's even higher for an unhappy married woman who's probably down for NSA sex.
She likely has a rotation of hot early thirty-somethings, along with her devoted husband who will never leave her. Not a bad deal for her.

Not a great deal for her husband. Yuck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After 30 years of marriage, and turning 50, wife, in a mid-life crisis, had a few affairs. One long term, probably still occurring to this day. When pressed on the issue, she will not agree to a separation or divorce. Too much water under the bridge. I will always forgive her. I just cannot go down the road she's traveled. Never have believed that two wrongs make a right.

Well, 50 is kinda old for a 'mid-life' crisis. And I'm wondering if there's really a demand for a 50-year-old AP from multiple men.. Is there?

I'm a nearly 50 year old single woman. Yes, there's a demand. From multiple men. I'm sure it's even higher for an unhappy married woman who's probably down for NSA sex.
She likely has a rotation of hot early thirty-somethings, along with her devoted husband who will never leave her. Not a bad deal for her.

Just curious, what kind of demand? Demands for NSA sex, or demand for actual committed relationships?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After 30 years of marriage, and turning 50, wife, in a mid-life crisis, had a few affairs. One long term, probably still occurring to this day. When pressed on the issue, she will not agree to a separation or divorce. Too much water under the bridge. I will always forgive her. I just cannot go down the road she's traveled. Never have believed that two wrongs make a right.

Well, 50 is kinda old for a 'mid-life' crisis. And I'm wondering if there's really a demand for a 50-year-old AP from multiple men.. Is there?

I'm a nearly 50 year old single woman. Yes, there's a demand. From multiple men. I'm sure it's even higher for an unhappy married woman who's probably down for NSA sex.
She likely has a rotation of hot early thirty-somethings, along with her devoted husband who will never leave her. Not a bad deal for her.

Just curious, what kind of demand? Demands for NSA sex, or demand for actual committed relationships?

Early 30-somethings banging 50-year old+ moms. Gross. Just gross.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After 30 years of marriage, and turning 50, wife, in a mid-life crisis, had a few affairs. One long term, probably still occurring to this day. When pressed on the issue, she will not agree to a separation or divorce. Too much water under the bridge. I will always forgive her. I just cannot go down the road she's traveled. Never have believed that two wrongs make a right.

Well, 50 is kinda old for a 'mid-life' crisis. And I'm wondering if there's really a demand for a 50-year-old AP from multiple men.. Is there?

I'm a nearly 50 year old single woman. Yes, there's a demand. From multiple men. I'm sure it's even higher for an unhappy married woman who's probably down for NSA sex.
She likely has a rotation of hot early thirty-somethings, along with her devoted husband who will never leave her. Not a bad deal for her.

Just curious, what kind of demand? Demands for NSA sex, or demand for actual committed relationships?

Free sex without having to pay for it. Duh. Not a lot of self-respect there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After 30 years of marriage, and turning 50, wife, in a mid-life crisis, had a few affairs. One long term, probably still occurring to this day. When pressed on the issue, she will not agree to a separation or divorce. Too much water under the bridge. I will always forgive her. I just cannot go down the road she's traveled. Never have believed that two wrongs make a right.

Well, 50 is kinda old for a 'mid-life' crisis. And I'm wondering if there's really a demand for a 50-year-old AP from multiple men.. Is there?

I'm a nearly 50 year old single woman. Yes, there's a demand. From multiple men. I'm sure it's even higher for an unhappy married woman who's probably down for NSA sex.
She likely has a rotation of hot early thirty-somethings, along with her devoted husband who will never leave her. Not a bad deal for her.

Not a great deal for her husband. Yuck.

+1,000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After 30 years of marriage, and turning 50, wife, in a mid-life crisis, had a few affairs. One long term, probably still occurring to this day. When pressed on the issue, she will not agree to a separation or divorce. Too much water under the bridge. I will always forgive her. I just cannot go down the road she's traveled. Never have believed that two wrongs make a right.

Well, 50 is kinda old for a 'mid-life' crisis. And I'm wondering if there's really a demand for a 50-year-old AP from multiple men.. Is there?

I'm a nearly 50 year old single woman. Yes, there's a demand. From multiple men. I'm sure it's even higher for an unhappy married woman who's probably down for NSA sex.
She likely has a rotation of hot early thirty-somethings, along with her devoted husband who will never leave her. Not a bad deal for her.

Divorced 52 year old man. When I was 22 it often took 4-6+ dates before sex would happen. Now at 52 it’s 2-3 and a couple of times first date and the women are always the initiator. I’m very surprised given I’m not the player type. I have zero interest in an unhappily married NSA ONS. They should leave that to their business trips or girls weekends.

[Anonymous]

Does a crisis have to be dramatic or destructive? During the pandemic we moved to a fantasy destination. DH (now 41) days he doesn’t want to go back to our nice, although not that exciting, home town. I encourage DH to follow his dreams as long as we all get a say. Not sure where we’ll end up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After 30 years of marriage, and turning 50, wife, in a mid-life crisis, had a few affairs. One long term, probably still occurring to this day. When pressed on the issue, she will not agree to a separation or divorce. Too much water under the bridge. I will always forgive her. I just cannot go down the road she's traveled. Never have believed that two wrongs make a right.

Well, 50 is kinda old for a 'mid-life' crisis. And I'm wondering if there's really a demand for a 50-year-old AP from multiple men.. Is there?

I'm a nearly 50 year old single woman. Yes, there's a demand. From multiple men. I'm sure it's even higher for an unhappy married woman who's probably down for NSA sex.
She likely has a rotation of hot early thirty-somethings, along with her devoted husband who will never leave her. Not a bad deal for her.

Divorced 52 year old man. When I was 22 it often took 4-6+ dates before sex would happen. Now at 52 it’s 2-3 and a couple of times first date and the women are always the initiator. I’m very surprised given I’m not the player type. I have zero interest in an unhappily married NSA ONS. They should leave that to their business trips or girls weekends.

First date, woman initiator and no condom. It’s insane these days.

[Anonymous]

Yep. This is where poor coping skill learned in childhood emerge. The kids that had alcoholic or cheating parents or poor attachment. They learned to self-soothe through sex and addictions. Instead of looking inside, they compartmentalize. When the going gets really rough midlife and they are unhappy---the drink and the strange sex is the way they get the dopamine hit and try to cope.

I'd be interested to know if this is true. I'm one of the PPs with a spouse who absolutely imploded in his mid-40s. Classic midlife crisis with an affair, new car, withdrawal from the family, etc.

He came from a loving home, had the full suport of his family, and had basically turned everything he touched into gold for years. I have always assumed his lack of resiliency, which showed up when he didn't hit his professional goals by a certain age, was about never having really been denied anything up to that point. It wasn't a bad childhood, it was a GOOD childhood that never taught him to bounce back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After 30 years of marriage, and turning 50, wife, in a mid-life crisis, had a few affairs. One long term, probably still occurring to this day. When pressed on the issue, she will not agree to a separation or divorce. Too much water under the bridge. I will always forgive her. I just cannot go down the road she's traveled. Never have believed that two wrongs make a right.

Well, 50 is kinda old for a 'mid-life' crisis. And I'm wondering if there's really a demand for a 50-year-old AP from multiple men.. Is there?

I'm a nearly 50 year old single woman. Yes, there's a demand. From multiple men. I'm sure it's even higher for an unhappy married woman who's probably down for NSA sex.
She likely has a rotation of hot early thirty-somethings, along with her devoted husband who will never leave her. Not a bad deal for her.

Just curious, what kind of demand? Demands for NSA sex, or demand for actual committed relationships?

Early 30-somethings banging 50-year old+ moms. Gross. Just gross.

Not all women are moms. And yes, early 30-somethings and even younger men do line up to bang them and always have.

[Anonymous]

Wife's hobbies are playing with her iPhone for 10 hours a day, complaining about everything when she does nothing and has no hard responsibilities, procrastination, shopping, if anything is wrong it's everyone else's fault.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After 30 years of marriage, and turning 50, wife, in a mid-life crisis, had a few affairs. One long term, probably still occurring to this day. When pressed on the issue, she will not agree to a separation or divorce. Too much water under the bridge. I will always forgive her. I just cannot go down the road she's traveled. Never have believed that two wrongs make a right.

Well, 50 is kinda old for a 'mid-life' crisis. And I'm wondering if there's really a demand for a 50-year-old AP from multiple men.. Is there?

I'm a nearly 50 year old single woman. Yes, there's a demand. From multiple men. I'm sure it's even higher for an unhappy married woman who's probably down for NSA sex.
She likely has a rotation of hot early thirty-somethings, along with her devoted husband who will never leave her. Not a bad deal for her.

Divorced 52 year old man. When I was 22 it often took 4-6+ dates before sex would happen. Now at 52 it’s 2-3 and a couple of times first date and the women are always the initiator. I’m very surprised given I’m not the player type. I have zero interest in an unhappily married NSA ONS. They should leave that to their business trips or girls weekends.

First date, woman initiator and no condom. It’s insane these days.

I’m definitely not a first date kind of woman but I always have a condom in my bag. If it happens no guy is going to get away without one.