What did your spouse's midlife crisis look like?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Had affair with very close family friend. Left me and the three kids. Not sure if this was due to mid-life or just being a shitty human being.

It surprises me how often they leave.

Oh the majority beg and grovel, they leave because they aren’t allowed back. They will give it an old college try with the AP sometimes, but that usually implodes soon after. Then they are free and start acting like college fraternity bros for a spell.

+1

Only 2% end up together/marry once affair is discovered. And if they temporarily hook up after it’s because they have been booted out of the family home.

The couples that go through this and reconcile you usually never have any clue about. Most people if they are working on the marriage and have kids take that midlife affair to the grave with them. You’d be surprised how many truly happy couples you never could imagine going through this, did at some point in a long 30, 40, 50- year marriage. The affair year doesn’t even register in marriage that long. It’s 0.5% of the marriage 99.5% of it monogamous.

How could you possibly know this information? I had multiple friends growing up where one parent had an affair. Parents divorced, and the cheating spouse married their AP. I’ve noticed that if the AP is better than the spouse - hotter, makes more, sex positive, fun and not a nag, then the cheating spouse leaves. They trade up. If the AP is not so great, then the cheating spouse begs to stay in the marriage.

Many men cheat in midlife without any expectation of ever leaving their wives or families. The vast majority of cheating men (65%) answer they are very happy in their marriages. It’s just variety/midlife/coping blip. Most men also affair down which is why only a fraction leave them the marriage.

[Anonymous]

^ JFC what AP nags? It’s a fantasy. They are meeting for sex not carpooling kids all over the DMV and arguing over chores with their lover.

[Anonymous]

Becoming a major butthole. I think that is common.

[Anonymous]

I’m a 49 year old woman and feel like a mid-life crisis is brewing: with me. Completely bored with where we live and even bored with our friends. Would love to pick up and move to Europe or South America (I can work anywhere, kids are in college). I want to explore a new part of the world, use my language skills, meet new people. Husband doesn’t have any desire to do those things except a couple vacations a year so it looks like I’ll be doing them on my own. I have no desire to have an affair. That’s not the issue and I don’t think that’s how my mid-life crisis will play out

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
You are just bored and transitioning to adulting now, very typical stuff.

I've been adulting since I graduated from college, thank you very much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Great thread. I'm a 39 y/o unmarried male, so my mid life crisis story may not be as fun or as salacious as those from married people, but I'm still having a mid life crisis anyway.

Mine is that I don't particularly like my job (anymore) and I'm not passionate about the subject matter. The problem is, of course, I don't know how to get out of this, though I am interviewing for jobs. If we weren't living in a pandemic, I'd just quit and move to Rio or Santiago and travel around South America for a year. I don't have kids so I could afford to do so. But of course, we are actually living in a pandemic, so I'm leery of the whole "quit job and travel" idea.

I REALLY want to get a dog, but I'm having cold feed about adopting a dog by myself and as a renter in DC. Since I live in DC, I don't drive, so no expensive car for me. I am also not into shiny new expensive electronics either. I would like to get a slightly large TV.

The only good thing about my mid life crisis is that I met a woman who seems to have a lot of potential. I gave up dating during the pandemic prior to vaccination and my return to dating has been great. She's hot and enthusiastic and into me, so I could not be happier there. But that is my mid-life crisis.

Cool, your crisis hasn’t happened yet. This is not it.