What did your spouse's midlife crisis look like?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After 30 years of marriage, and turning 50, wife, in a mid-life crisis, had a few affairs. One long term, probably still occurring to this day. When pressed on the issue, she will not agree to a separation or divorce. Too much water under the bridge. I will always forgive her. I just cannot go down the road she's traveled. Never have believed that two wrongs make a right.

How can you always forgive her?? Nope. One and done. No 2nd chances.

She won't agree to separation or divorce because you are footing the bill for her lifestyle. How can you even sleep with her, knowing that she is sleeping with so many different men (and it's unprotected, bub)?

Dude, multiple affairs is not okay. Why are you still with her? You don't need her to agree to divorce. You file the papers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:After 30 years of marriage, and turning 50, wife, in a mid-life crisis, had a few affairs. One long term, probably still occurring to this day. When pressed on the issue, she will not agree to a separation or divorce. Too much water under the bridge. I will always forgive her. I just cannot go down the road she's traveled. Never have believed that two wrongs make a right.

You guys have interesting psychology. No judgement. Just saying.

[Anonymous]

He got super into far left politics. We're still very happily married, but he's a Anarcho communist now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He got super into far left politics. We're still very happily married, but he's a Anarcho communist now.

Mine went the opposite: from moderate to hardcore Trump supporter. I’d check the browser history and he’d spend all night watching alt right videos.

Couldn’t even have a conversation about it, he’d immediately escalate and start yelling “oh yea you’re one of those feminists/liberals/communists now!”

Even after the divorce he still tries to engage in political discussions when we have to talk about kid stuff, then gets angry and hangs up the phone when I don’t agree with him.

I find the whole thing pretty funny now, but I do worry for our kids. He has some very warped beliefs about women and I’m afraid the kids will pick them up.

[Anonymous]

30 year marriage. Still together

In mid to late 40s, he spent lots of time on fitness activities - 24 hour adventure/mountain bike/marathon type stuff. Left me with kids all weekend most weekends.

When that fizzled in early 50s and his career stalled, he started drinking more, gained weight, and reaching out to old HS girlfriends on social media to get attention/compliments. Crossed some boundaries, but always on line. I imagine he wanted to keep the façade of 18 year old self so in person wouldn't work. It hurt, led to many fights and promises to stop. In the end, I lost respect for him - told him once he was a cliché, and I meant it.

During the same time, I got my groove back - revamped career, more time for friends/interests/fitness.

There is still love, great sex and friendship, but it changed the relationship. I would walk away now if something happened again. My advice - work on yourself, not your spouse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:30 year marriage. Still together

In mid to late 40s, he spent lots of time on fitness activities - 24 hour adventure/mountain bike/marathon type stuff. Left me with kids all weekend most weekends.

When that fizzled in early 50s and his career stalled, he started drinking more, gained weight, and reaching out to old HS girlfriends on social media to get attention/compliments. Crossed some boundaries, but always on line. I imagine he wanted to keep the façade of 18 year old self so in person wouldn't work. It hurt, led to many fights and promises to stop. In the end, I lost respect for him - told him once he was a cliché, and I meant it.

During the same time, I got my groove back - revamped career, more time for friends/interests/fitness.

There is still love, great sex and friendship, but it changed the relationship. I would walk away now if something happened again. My advice - work on yourself, not your spouse.

It's best you don't know what happened some of those weekends away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Turned into video game addict, spend at least 5 hour daily, more on weekends

Same with mine. My STBXH always played video games every now and then, but the pandemic has really allowed him to put a lot of time into it. I didn't realize how much money he has spent on gaming (not always, but I heard up to $2k a month), and that he met someone else through it as well. I also heard his ranking in the game really went to his head.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:After 30 years of marriage, and turning 50, wife, in a mid-life crisis, had a few affairs. One long term, probably still occurring to this day. When pressed on the issue, she will not agree to a separation or divorce. Too much water under the bridge. I will always forgive her. I just cannot go down the road she's traveled. Never have believed that two wrongs make a right.

If you are good with forgiving her then good for you. But I would be a little selfish on occasion in regards to yourself. Doesn't have to be a revenge affair, but I wouldn't be hesitant about doing things (travelling, buying an expensive toy, etc) to balance the scales a little.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After 30 years of marriage, and turning 50, wife, in a mid-life crisis, had a few affairs. One long term, probably still occurring to this day. When pressed on the issue, she will not agree to a separation or divorce. Too much water under the bridge. I will always forgive her. I just cannot go down the road she's traveled. Never have believed that two wrongs make a right.

She got married at 20 years old???

Yes we did. Your math is correct.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He got super into far left politics. We're still very happily married, but he's a Anarcho communist now.

He sounds awesome. All the anarchists I know are the most kind and generous people I’ve met. They have a nice community that is supportive and positive. It mostly involves clothing swaps and playing pickup soccer and hanging out at dive bars. Good people.

[Anonymous]

At 40 he had been with one company 15 years and while he was doing very well he had grown to hate going to work and it affected all of us. Then he suddenly quit early one July and there we were with no health insurance, no income and three young children. I was crazed but he was happy and that’s a bad combination. But to his credit we had saved a lot of money so we weren’t going to starve. He did nothing all summer except be on vacation and then after Labor Day he got his act together. Long story short, he quickly got back to work and he ended up having an incredibly successful career. To me it felt like a crisis at the time but ultimately it worked out.

[Anonymous]

Motorcycle

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Cheating with a colleague from work. Leaving me and kids to move to a small apartment.

This is exactly what mine is doing. Moving into the city, small expensive apartment near his lover. Leaving me and and the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:After 30 years of marriage, and turning 50, wife, in a mid-life crisis, had a few affairs. One long term, probably still occurring to this day. When pressed on the issue, she will not agree to a separation or divorce. Too much water under the bridge. I will always forgive her. I just cannot go down the road she's traveled. Never have believed that two wrongs make a right.

Want her out? Cut her off. No vacations, eating out, fancy cars. She'll agree when you mean business.

[Anonymous]

She was in her mid-40’s and overly concerned about her “waning” looks and loss of desirability which I said was ridiculous. She was ripe to be picked and she was by a neighbor so two families got blown up.