If your 15 year old daughter has a boyfriend do you allow her to go to his house?

[Anonymous]

I didn’t have a boyfriend until I was 17, but we had sex in the back of my car often.
If my daughter has a boyfriend at 15, who is not yet driving, I would say no unless I knew the parents and they were on the same page in regards to an adult being home and generally aware of what was happening ( doors open, not hanging out in bedrooms, etc)
They are young. You need to be really in top of it. Asking a 15 year old to be on top of contraception and safe sex if asking a lot. Remove the possibility for as long as possible!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These discussions about teens and dating always make me wonder a little bit about what it is that parents really value and how they think you get there. If the goal is "no sex for teens" then basically you shouldn't let them out of the house. If they are getting in cars, going on walks, visiting friends (not just boyfriend's house) the opportunity will be there. It seems curious to me to put so much emphasis on limits/boundaries that are essentially meaningless in attaining that goal.
So what's the other option - actually I'd like my teens to respect and value themselves enough that they decide when they have sex and that they do it safely and with full consent. I want them educated, I want them confident, and I want them to own this very important part of themselves and treat it with respect. Everything we know about education and sex is this leads to better outcomes. But to do that you have to approach sex as a positive thing, not as a scary thing that nobody will talk about and you definitely can't go to your boyfriends house because what if....
Listen people, the average age to have sex for first time is 17. That means LOT of 15 and 16 year olds are getting busy. I'm gonna guess exactly nobody delays having sex because their parents impose arbitrary rules about whose house they can go to. Have the hard conversations, it's really worth it.

You don't get it. The Goal is NOT "no sex for teens". It's about boundaries, boundaries for a 15 year old girl.

Too much permissive and uninvolved parenting advice here.

The boundary you can’t go to your boyfriends house is a meaningless boundary hence just a platitude to make you feel good about your lack of parenting.

Please explain how "meaningless" of a boundary is when I tell my teen daughter she can't go to her boyfriend's house.

Please, your are worse than a teen!

Because she is still going to his house you just think she is at Karen’s. But your too dense to help her navigate this stage of her life because your head is in the sand.

You're still hanging here? I'm the PP, I'm sorry many of us are not as promiscuous as you were at 15.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These discussions about teens and dating always make me wonder a little bit about what it is that parents really value and how they think you get there. If the goal is "no sex for teens" then basically you shouldn't let them out of the house. If they are getting in cars, going on walks, visiting friends (not just boyfriend's house) the opportunity will be there. It seems curious to me to put so much emphasis on limits/boundaries that are essentially meaningless in attaining that goal.
So what's the other option - actually I'd like my teens to respect and value themselves enough that they decide when they have sex and that they do it safely and with full consent. I want them educated, I want them confident, and I want them to own this very important part of themselves and treat it with respect. Everything we know about education and sex is this leads to better outcomes. But to do that you have to approach sex as a positive thing, not as a scary thing that nobody will talk about and you definitely can't go to your boyfriends house because what if....
Listen people, the average age to have sex for first time is 17. That means LOT of 15 and 16 year olds are getting busy. I'm gonna guess exactly nobody delays having sex because their parents impose arbitrary rules about whose house they can go to. Have the hard conversations, it's really worth it.

You don't get it. The Goal is NOT "no sex for teens". It's about boundaries, boundaries for a 15 year old girl.

Too much permissive and uninvolved parenting advice here.

The boundary you can’t go to your boyfriends house is a meaningless boundary hence just a platitude to make you feel good about your lack of parenting.

Please explain how "meaningless" of a boundary is when I tell my teen daughter she can't go to her boyfriend's house.

Please, your are worse than a teen!

Because she is still going to his house you just think she is at Karen’s. But your too dense to help her navigate this stage of her life because your head is in the sand.

You're still hanging here? I'm the PP, I'm sorry many of us are not as promiscuous as you were at 15.

Np.. what an ugly thing to say. I feel bad for your children- not only because you don't know how to be a parent other than by controlling their every move or nothing-- but because you are mean and hateful when challenged. Poor kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These discussions about teens and dating always make me wonder a little bit about what it is that parents really value and how they think you get there. If the goal is "no sex for teens" then basically you shouldn't let them out of the house. If they are getting in cars, going on walks, visiting friends (not just boyfriend's house) the opportunity will be there. It seems curious to me to put so much emphasis on limits/boundaries that are essentially meaningless in attaining that goal.
So what's the other option - actually I'd like my teens to respect and value themselves enough that they decide when they have sex and that they do it safely and with full consent. I want them educated, I want them confident, and I want them to own this very important part of themselves and treat it with respect. Everything we know about education and sex is this leads to better outcomes. But to do that you have to approach sex as a positive thing, not as a scary thing that nobody will talk about and you definitely can't go to your boyfriends house because what if....
Listen people, the average age to have sex for first time is 17. That means LOT of 15 and 16 year olds are getting busy. I'm gonna guess exactly nobody delays having sex because their parents impose arbitrary rules about whose house they can go to. Have the hard conversations, it's really worth it.

You don't get it. The Goal is NOT "no sex for teens". It's about boundaries, boundaries for a 15 year old girl.

Too much permissive and uninvolved parenting advice here.

The boundary you can’t go to your boyfriends house is a meaningless boundary hence just a platitude to make you feel good about your lack of parenting.

Please explain how "meaningless" of a boundary is when I tell my teen daughter she can't go to her boyfriend's house.

Please, your are worse than a teen!

Because she is still going to his house you just think she is at Karen’s. But your too dense to help her navigate this stage of her life because your head is in the sand.

You're still hanging here? I'm the PP, I'm sorry many of us are not as promiscuous as you were at 15.

Np.. what an ugly thing to say. I feel bad for your children- not only because you don't know how to be a parent other than by controlling their every move or nothing-- but because you are mean and hateful when challenged. Poor kids.

Calling someone "promiscuous" when they were, well, promiscuous is hateful? OK then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These discussions about teens and dating always make me wonder a little bit about what it is that parents really value and how they think you get there. If the goal is "no sex for teens" then basically you shouldn't let them out of the house. If they are getting in cars, going on walks, visiting friends (not just boyfriend's house) the opportunity will be there. It seems curious to me to put so much emphasis on limits/boundaries that are essentially meaningless in attaining that goal.
So what's the other option - actually I'd like my teens to respect and value themselves enough that they decide when they have sex and that they do it safely and with full consent. I want them educated, I want them confident, and I want them to own this very important part of themselves and treat it with respect. Everything we know about education and sex is this leads to better outcomes. But to do that you have to approach sex as a positive thing, not as a scary thing that nobody will talk about and you definitely can't go to your boyfriends house because what if....
Listen people, the average age to have sex for first time is 17. That means LOT of 15 and 16 year olds are getting busy. I'm gonna guess exactly nobody delays having sex because their parents impose arbitrary rules about whose house they can go to. Have the hard conversations, it's really worth it.

You don't get it. The Goal is NOT "no sex for teens". It's about boundaries, boundaries for a 15 year old girl.

Too much permissive and uninvolved parenting advice here.

The boundary you can’t go to your boyfriends house is a meaningless boundary hence just a platitude to make you feel good about your lack of parenting.

Please explain how "meaningless" of a boundary is when I tell my teen daughter she can't go to her boyfriend's house.

Please, your are worse than a teen!

Because she is still going to his house you just think she is at Karen’s. But your too dense to help her navigate this stage of her life because your head is in the sand.

You're still hanging here? I'm the PP, I'm sorry many of us are not as promiscuous as you were at 15.

Np.. what an ugly thing to say. I feel bad for your children- not only because you don't know how to be a parent other than by controlling their every move or nothing-- but because you are mean and hateful when challenged. Poor kids.

Calling someone "promiscuous" when they were, well, promiscuous is hateful? OK then.

Lol. These darn promiscuous teens. We must put a stop to it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These discussions about teens and dating always make me wonder a little bit about what it is that parents really value and how they think you get there. If the goal is "no sex for teens" then basically you shouldn't let them out of the house. If they are getting in cars, going on walks, visiting friends (not just boyfriend's house) the opportunity will be there. It seems curious to me to put so much emphasis on limits/boundaries that are essentially meaningless in attaining that goal.
So what's the other option - actually I'd like my teens to respect and value themselves enough that they decide when they have sex and that they do it safely and with full consent. I want them educated, I want them confident, and I want them to own this very important part of themselves and treat it with respect. Everything we know about education and sex is this leads to better outcomes. But to do that you have to approach sex as a positive thing, not as a scary thing that nobody will talk about and you definitely can't go to your boyfriends house because what if....
Listen people, the average age to have sex for first time is 17. That means LOT of 15 and 16 year olds are getting busy. I'm gonna guess exactly nobody delays having sex because their parents impose arbitrary rules about whose house they can go to. Have the hard conversations, it's really worth it.

You don't get it. The Goal is NOT "no sex for teens". It's about boundaries, boundaries for a 15 year old girl.

Too much permissive and uninvolved parenting advice here.

The boundary you can’t go to your boyfriends house is a meaningless boundary hence just a platitude to make you feel good about your lack of parenting.

Please explain how "meaningless" of a boundary is when I tell my teen daughter she can't go to her boyfriend's house.

Please, your are worse than a teen!

Because she is still going to his house you just think she is at Karen’s. But your too dense to help her navigate this stage of her life because your head is in the sand.

You're still hanging here? I'm the PP, I'm sorry many of us are not as promiscuous as you were at 15.

This is true. The idea that teens would have sex is preposterous and the fact that you did must mean you were literally a prostitute. This is the obvious conclusion. Please, parents, be responsible and get your daughters a chastity belt like any normal, responsible parent would.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These discussions about teens and dating always make me wonder a little bit about what it is that parents really value and how they think you get there. If the goal is "no sex for teens" then basically you shouldn't let them out of the house. If they are getting in cars, going on walks, visiting friends (not just boyfriend's house) the opportunity will be there. It seems curious to me to put so much emphasis on limits/boundaries that are essentially meaningless in attaining that goal.
So what's the other option - actually I'd like my teens to respect and value themselves enough that they decide when they have sex and that they do it safely and with full consent. I want them educated, I want them confident, and I want them to own this very important part of themselves and treat it with respect. Everything we know about education and sex is this leads to better outcomes. But to do that you have to approach sex as a positive thing, not as a scary thing that nobody will talk about and you definitely can't go to your boyfriends house because what if....
Listen people, the average age to have sex for first time is 17. That means LOT of 15 and 16 year olds are getting busy. I'm gonna guess exactly nobody delays having sex because their parents impose arbitrary rules about whose house they can go to. Have the hard conversations, it's really worth it.

You don't get it. The Goal is NOT "no sex for teens". It's about boundaries, boundaries for a 15 year old girl.

Too much permissive and uninvolved parenting advice here.

The boundary you can’t go to your boyfriends house is a meaningless boundary hence just a platitude to make you feel good about your lack of parenting.

Please explain how "meaningless" of a boundary is when I tell my teen daughter she can't go to her boyfriend's house.

Please, your are worse than a teen!

Because she is still going to his house you just think she is at Karen’s. But your too dense to help her navigate this stage of her life because your head is in the sand.

You're still hanging here? I'm the PP, I'm sorry many of us are not as promiscuous as you were at 15.

Np.. what an ugly thing to say. I feel bad for your children- not only because you don't know how to be a parent other than by controlling their every move or nothing-- but because you are mean and hateful when challenged. Poor kids.

Calling someone "promiscuous" when they were, well, promiscuous is hateful? OK then.

Why are you still here?
You've been told it's within the average age range for sex. You're using the word "promiscuous " incorrectly. You clearly are an ineffective and brutal parent. We got it.
Move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These discussions about teens and dating always make me wonder a little bit about what it is that parents really value and how they think you get there. If the goal is "no sex for teens" then basically you shouldn't let them out of the house. If they are getting in cars, going on walks, visiting friends (not just boyfriend's house) the opportunity will be there. It seems curious to me to put so much emphasis on limits/boundaries that are essentially meaningless in attaining that goal.
So what's the other option - actually I'd like my teens to respect and value themselves enough that they decide when they have sex and that they do it safely and with full consent. I want them educated, I want them confident, and I want them to own this very important part of themselves and treat it with respect. Everything we know about education and sex is this leads to better outcomes. But to do that you have to approach sex as a positive thing, not as a scary thing that nobody will talk about and you definitely can't go to your boyfriends house because what if....
Listen people, the average age to have sex for first time is 17. That means LOT of 15 and 16 year olds are getting busy. I'm gonna guess exactly nobody delays having sex because their parents impose arbitrary rules about whose house they can go to. Have the hard conversations, it's really worth it.

You don't get it. The Goal is NOT "no sex for teens". It's about boundaries, boundaries for a 15 year old girl.

Too much permissive and uninvolved parenting advice here.

The boundary you can’t go to your boyfriends house is a meaningless boundary hence just a platitude to make you feel good about your lack of parenting.

Please explain how "meaningless" of a boundary is when I tell my teen daughter she can't go to her boyfriend's house.

Please, your are worse than a teen!

Because she is still going to his house you just think she is at Karen’s. But your too dense to help her navigate this stage of her life because your head is in the sand.

You're still hanging here? I'm the PP, I'm sorry many of us are not as promiscuous as you were at 15.

Np.. what an ugly thing to say. I feel bad for your children- not only because you don't know how to be a parent other than by controlling their every move or nothing-- but because you are mean and hateful when challenged. Poor kids.

Calling someone "promiscuous" when they were, well, promiscuous is hateful? OK then.

Being a prudish prig doesn't mean everyone else is a ho.
LoL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These discussions about teens and dating always make me wonder a little bit about what it is that parents really value and how they think you get there. If the goal is "no sex for teens" then basically you shouldn't let them out of the house. If they are getting in cars, going on walks, visiting friends (not just boyfriend's house) the opportunity will be there. It seems curious to me to put so much emphasis on limits/boundaries that are essentially meaningless in attaining that goal.
So what's the other option - actually I'd like my teens to respect and value themselves enough that they decide when they have sex and that they do it safely and with full consent. I want them educated, I want them confident, and I want them to own this very important part of themselves and treat it with respect. Everything we know about education and sex is this leads to better outcomes. But to do that you have to approach sex as a positive thing, not as a scary thing that nobody will talk about and you definitely can't go to your boyfriends house because what if....
Listen people, the average age to have sex for first time is 17. That means LOT of 15 and 16 year olds are getting busy. I'm gonna guess exactly nobody delays having sex because their parents impose arbitrary rules about whose house they can go to. Have the hard conversations, it's really worth it.

You don't get it. The Goal is NOT "no sex for teens". It's about boundaries, boundaries for a 15 year old girl.

Too much permissive and uninvolved parenting advice here.

The boundary you can’t go to your boyfriends house is a meaningless boundary hence just a platitude to make you feel good about your lack of parenting.

Please explain how "meaningless" of a boundary is when I tell my teen daughter she can't go to her boyfriend's house.

Please, your are worse than a teen!

Because she is still going to his house you just think she is at Karen’s. But your too dense to help her navigate this stage of her life because your head is in the sand.

You're still hanging here? I'm the PP, I'm sorry many of us are not as promiscuous as you were at 15.

Np.. what an ugly thing to say. I feel bad for your children- not only because you don't know how to be a parent other than by controlling their every move or nothing-- but because you are mean and hateful when challenged. Poor kids.

As soon as somebody goes ad hominem you know they know they lost the argument.

[Anonymous]

Probably not a good idea if you don't want to be a grandma.

Make sure she is on reliable birth control.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When my DD was that age I did let her go to boyfriends house a handful of times. I asked her if parents were around and she said yes. Totally possible she wasn’t telling the truth, though we had a pretty open and trusting relationship . But honestly at that age I think it’s a pretty big parent overreach to be calling parents and discussing those kinds of details. I think either you let your kid go or you don’t, but should keep parent to parent communication out of it.

+1.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Probably not a good idea if you don't want to be a grandma.

Make sure she is on reliable birth control.

Encourage open and honest communication. Have conversations about sex, pregnancy, stds, consent etc. Your teen isn’t going to have any less sex because they don’t have access to their bedroom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t have a boyfriend until I was 17, but we had sex in the back of my car often.
If my daughter has a boyfriend at 15, who is not yet driving, I would say no unless I knew the parents and they were on the same page in regards to an adult being home and generally aware of what was happening ( doors open, not hanging out in bedrooms, etc)
They are young. You need to be really in top of it. Asking a 15 year old to be on top of contraception and safe sex if asking a lot. Remove the possibility for as long as possible!

Nobody said the girl should spend time in the boys bedroom or when the parents are not home.

People are saying if the parents are home they may still have sex, if you don’t let them visit eat other at their own homes they will meet up at friends, or the mall, or the movies, or the woods… but they will meet up and the might still have sex.

You are right. A 15 year old can not navigate this without help, help from a grown educated adult. Many would argue 27 is too young wait till 19.

The fact is if she is going to have sex she is going to have sex.

You need to talk to her about safe sex, contraceptives, STIs, consent, being used, emotions that come with sex.

You should say you are too young!

Just making meaningless “boundaries” and sending her off without the tools to navigate this very confusing choice she will have issues.

Head out of sand!

[Anonymous]

There is setting boundaries, and being a permissive parent. I believe in boundaries.

[Anonymous]

That opens the door wide open for things to happen. No, I would not allow this nor would I allow her to be alone with him in any capacity. It’s important that you have a good https://bit.ly/3h88jZh relationship with your daughter, communicating with her regularly and speak to her frankly about why you are not allowing it. Invite him to your house when you or another adult is home and make sure no doors are closed.