If your 15 year old daughter has a boyfriend do you allow her to go to his house?

[Anonymous]

My teens know that dating is not allowed. They are focussed on academics, ECs, social life etc. They are not latchkey kids and our lives revolve around our children. So, no boyfriend or girlfriend until they are in college.

Now, since we are not White and come from a culture of arranged marriages, it is quite possible that our children are unable to find someone to marry on their own. Well, the solution to that is that if they have great career and have a good income, there is no lack of choices for them. Finding a good match and having it all is not a pipe dream. But, first - study hard and make something of your life. Nurture the friends and relatives in your life. Treat the world well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am so glad my family is ugly.

LOL. My family is nerdy and late-blooming. Suitors aren't beating down the doors. For that, I am grateful.

Glad to know you think they aren't doing anything online either

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My teens know that dating is not allowed. They are focussed on academics, ECs, social life etc. They are not latchkey kids and our lives revolve around our children. So, no boyfriend or girlfriend until they are in college.

Now, since we are not White and come from a culture of arranged marriages, it is quite possible that our children are unable to find someone to marry on their own. Well, the solution to that is that if they have great career and have a good income, there is no lack of choices for them. Finding a good match and having it all is not a pipe dream. But, first - study hard and make something of your life. Nurture the friends and relatives in your life. Treat the world well.

This is horrifying

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My teens know that dating is not allowed. They are focussed on academics, ECs, social life etc. They are not latchkey kids and our lives revolve around our children. So, no boyfriend or girlfriend until they are in college.

Now, since we are not White and come from a culture of arranged marriages, it is quite possible that our children are unable to find someone to marry on their own. Well, the solution to that is that if they have great career and have a good income, there is no lack of choices for them. Finding a good match and having it all is not a pipe dream. But, first - study hard and make something of your life. Nurture the friends and relatives in your life. Treat the world well.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My teens know that dating is not allowed. They are focussed on academics, ECs, social life etc. They are not latchkey kids and our lives revolve around our children. So, no boyfriend or girlfriend until they are in college.

Now, since we are not White and come from a culture of arranged marriages, it is quite possible that our children are unable to find someone to marry on their own. Well, the solution to that is that if they have great career and have a good income, there is no lack of choices for them. Finding a good match and having it all is not a pipe dream. But, first - study hard and make something of your life. Nurture the friends and relatives in your life. Treat the world well.

Funny thing is you think this is a good thing and time and time again it is linked to immature growth, lack of street smarts, poor autonomy, severe lack of communication skills, and extremely high anxiety and silent depression.

But straight A's and no sex is all that matters!! Great job

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 15 year old girl is a lesbian. I let her go to her GF’s house, but the GF’s family chaperones them. I do not chaperone when the GF comes here.

That is really different. She faces zero risk of pregnancy. And compared to a heterosexual, her risk of contracting an STI from her lesbian girlfriend is vastly lower, even if they were to have “sex.”

It isn’t different. Stop saying that. It’s demeaning

It’s totally different. Nothing is going to happen if it’s just 2 teenage girls.

So you are only worried about pregnancy? That’s it.

I am more concerned with the emotional and mental damage having early sex, being used, rumors, and stunted relationships. It doesn’t matter if it’s Herero or homo relationships. It’s a huge jump going into the sexual world and it changes you

If it’s just 2 curious tween or teen girls, they are probably just making out with a pillow. It is not real sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Invite the parents to dinner and get to know them. Talk openly about your parenting style.

There is a 0% chance I'm going out to dinner with my son's gf's parents and I'm not interested in discussing my parenting style with them. Good grief.

Agree!!! This is a teen bf. Not a husband to be.

Parents should not be friends with their kid’s friends or romantic relationships.

Have their cell phones or double check where they are, yes.

Dinners, gatherings, etc… No.

Same with inviting teen bf/gf to events and vacations. Ick ick ick

Why?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My teens know that dating is not allowed. They are focussed on academics, ECs, social life etc. They are not latchkey kids and our lives revolve around our children. So, no boyfriend or girlfriend until they are in college.

Now, since we are not White and come from a culture of arranged marriages, it is quite possible that our children are unable to find someone to marry on their own. Well, the solution to that is that if they have great career and have a good income, there is no lack of choices for them. Finding a good match and having it all is not a pipe dream. But, first - study hard and make something of your life. Nurture the friends and relatives in your life. Treat the world well.

This is horrifying

No, PP,

YOU are horrifying, along with xenophobic and bigoted.

[Anonymous]

I'm fine with going to one another's house if parents/older siblings are home.

I also talk to my teen about sex, birth control and consent. He's a boy.

Teens WILL find a way to have sex if that is their end goal. I don't have to be loose with the rules/have no boundaries for that to happen. Teens need guidance and expectations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My teens know that dating is not allowed. They are focussed on academics, ECs, social life etc. They are not latchkey kids and our lives revolve around our children. So, no boyfriend or girlfriend until they are in college.

Now, since we are not White and come from a culture of arranged marriages, it is quite possible that our children are unable to find someone to marry on their own. Well, the solution to that is that if they have great career and have a good income, there is no lack of choices for them. Finding a good match and having it all is not a pipe dream. But, first - study hard and make something of your life. Nurture the friends and relatives in your life. Treat the world well.

Funny thing is you think this is a good thing and time and time again it is linked to immature growth, lack of street smarts, poor autonomy, severe lack of communication skills, and extremely high anxiety and silent depression.

But straight A's and no sex is all that matters!! Great job

And time and time again, teen sex has led to teen pregnancy, welfare, poor financial outcomes, child abuse, dissatisfaction with life, anxiety, and depression.

Bit you think teens having sex is all that matters!! Poor job

[Anonymous]

Yes, teens have sex and yes to birth control, consent and std discussions, etc. That said, we still live in a patriarchy where women are shamed for their sexuality. Until that changes, I will be sending the message to my daughter and any/all boyfriends that she is cherished, loved and special- not someone with indifferent parents/chaotic home life. You can still be protective of a sexually active daughter. We don’t have to make it easy and casual, so she thinks it’s no big deal to move on to the next boyfriend in HS. There is no going to his house unless it is a family invite/party. His parents judge just like anyone else. He should be a little afraid of us and think twice before ghosting and other bad behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My teens know that dating is not allowed. They are focussed on academics, ECs, social life etc. They are not latchkey kids and our lives revolve around our children. So, no boyfriend or girlfriend until they are in college.

Now, since we are not White and come from a culture of arranged marriages, it is quite possible that our children are unable to find someone to marry on their own. Well, the solution to that is that if they have great career and have a good income, there is no lack of choices for them. Finding a good match and having it all is not a pipe dream. But, first - study hard and make something of your life. Nurture the friends and relatives in your life. Treat the world well.

Funny thing is you think this is a good thing and time and time again it is linked to immature growth, lack of street smarts, poor autonomy, severe lack of communication skills, and extremely high anxiety and silent depression.

But straight A's and no sex is all that matters!! Great job

Boo, it is your kids who are suicidal, have mental illness, fail to launch, become onlyFans stars, make minimum wages and fail in adulting. There is no morality and decency is how they are raised.

My kids may be slow in forming romantic relationships and take their time in becoming sexually active , but as a result they excel in life. They succeed in education, career, marriage, raising kids, having a good social life and becoming financially successful. Statistics are available about our success stories if you dare to Google it.
Also Google divorce rates, addiction, domestic violence and suicide rates. In every measure, your kids are failing. What is horrifying is that you are still concerned about making sure that they get their sexual jollies because “it feels so good”.

.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My teens know that dating is not allowed. They are focussed on academics, ECs, social life etc. They are not latchkey kids and our lives revolve around our children. So, no boyfriend or girlfriend until they are in college.

Now, since we are not White and come from a culture of arranged marriages, it is quite possible that our children are unable to find someone to marry on their own. Well, the solution to that is that if they have great career and have a good income, there is no lack of choices for them. Finding a good match and having it all is not a pipe dream. But, first - study hard and make something of your life. Nurture the friends and relatives in your life. Treat the world well.

Funny thing is you think this is a good thing and time and time again it is linked to immature growth, lack of street smarts, poor autonomy, severe lack of communication skills, and extremely high anxiety and silent depression.

But straight A's and no sex is all that matters!! Great job

And time and time again, teen sex has led to teen pregnancy, welfare, poor financial outcomes, child abuse, dissatisfaction with life, anxiety, and depression.

Bit you think teens having sex is all that matters!! Poor job

There is no one on DCUM that is gonna have a teen that gets and stays pregnant. Give me a break

And giving your kids autonomy doesn't mean that equals sex. It's your fear which is why you put them in a chokehold to do nothing. If you communicate and trust and teach your kids to be adults before they leave college, they are much better off.

The amount of kids leaving college crying home to mommy before one semester over is insane. They can't cope because they don't have Mommy to guide them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 15 year old girl is a lesbian. I let her go to her GF’s house, but the GF’s family chaperones them. I do not chaperone when the GF comes here.

That is really different. She faces zero risk of pregnancy. And compared to a heterosexual, her risk of contracting an STI from her lesbian girlfriend is vastly lower, even if they were to have “sex.”

It isn’t different. Stop saying that. It’s demeaning

It’s totally different. Nothing is going to happen if it’s just 2 teenage girls.

So you are only worried about pregnancy? That’s it.

I am more concerned with the emotional and mental damage having early sex, being used, rumors, and stunted relationships. It doesn’t matter if it’s Herero or homo relationships. It’s a huge jump going into the sexual world and it changes you

If it’s just 2 curious tween or teen girls, they are probably just making out with a pillow. It is not real sex.

Wow. I really, really hope you don't have a lesbian/bi daughter.

I cannot imagine having a mother who is so completely ignorant and dismissive of the reality of lesbian relationships -- which are often not just sexual, but intensely intimate friendships.

I'm a lesbian and my first sexual relationship was at 15 with my best friend. It did not end well, and it nearly destroyed me.

This -- YOU -- are why suicide is so common among gay teens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am so glad my family is ugly.

LOL. My family is nerdy and late-blooming. Suitors aren't beating down the doors. For that, I am grateful.

Lol!!! Love it! You guys are cracking me up.