If your 15 year old daughter has a boyfriend do you allow her to go to his house?

[Anonymous]

This is new territory for us and she has asked to go hang out at his house. If you allow this, do you confirm first that his parents will be home? If so, how? He's been to our house a few times and she knows she's not allowed to be in the house alone with him.

[Anonymous]

Call his parents. Do your job.

Ask them if they are allowed to be alone at his house. If so then nope.

[Anonymous]

Nope - they can go out in public only. I would absolutely insist on confirming directly with the parents (not by text, by voice) that they'll be home.

[Anonymous]

Yes. I make sure the parent was home. They still had sex in the basement.

So then I only allowed them at my house when I was home and they had sex.

[Anonymous]

My 15 year old girl is a lesbian. I let her go to her GF’s house, but the GF’s family chaperones them. I do not chaperone when the GF comes here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. I make sure the parent was home. They still had sex in the basement.

So then I only allowed them at my house when I was home and they had sex.

This poster makes a good point. You were all teens once. Plenty happens in other places besides houses. Be too strict and they will start sneaking around even more. Set rules then hope for the best and continue conversations about safe sex and unwanted pregnancies, STDs, consent, abstinence, etc.

[Anonymous]

BTDT. Teens will find a way. Talk about safe sex and contraception.

[Anonymous]

Yes, so long as she’s on birth control and he’s also using condoms. I’d rather they have sex safely in one of our homes than somewhere else.

[Anonymous]

When my DD was that age I did let her go to boyfriends house a handful of times. I asked her if parents were around and she said yes. Totally possible she wasn’t telling the truth, though we had a pretty open and trusting relationship . But honestly at that age I think it’s a pretty big parent overreach to be calling parents and discussing those kinds of details. I think either you let your kid go or you don’t, but should keep parent to parent communication out of it.

[Anonymous]

Hell no

[Anonymous]

My 15 yr old is not allowed to date but reading for when she's a 16 yr old 10th grader. I'm not looking forward to this at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When my DD was that age I did let her go to boyfriends house a handful of times. I asked her if parents were around and she said yes. Totally possible she wasn’t telling the truth, though we had a pretty open and trusting relationship . But honestly at that age I think it’s a pretty big parent overreach to be calling parents and discussing those kinds of details. I think either you let your kid go or you don’t, but should keep parent to parent communication out of it.

I agree with this. If you aren’t comfortable don’t let her go but you can’t micromanage the other parents and have no idea how well they will be surprised if even they say they are home

[Anonymous]

As others said, speak with his parents and find out their comfort zone. I know some parents that let their teen have bf/gf in their bedroom with door closed. I would NOT allow that in my home and want to know what other parents allow so I can determine where dc will hang out with gf. I known a mom that allowed her dd to have bf in her room and could hear them having sex from room below.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As others said, speak with his parents and find out their comfort zone. I know some parents that let their teen have bf/gf in their bedroom with door closed. I would NOT allow that in my home and want to know what other parents allow so I can determine where dc will hang out with gf. I known a mom that allowed her dd to have bf in her room and could hear them having sex from room below.

But as others said, how much can you control? My parents didn’t allow boys over when no one was home and even when they were home, never allowed them upstairs for any reason. They wouldn’t even let them use the upstairs bathrooms. This didn’t stop my sister or me from sneaking them over when no one was home. We both did this. I was never caught. She was and kept doing it.

[Anonymous]

No- but I don’t want my 15 y.o. having sex so I won’t enable it. In a few years when I know she can effectively give consent then she can sneak around behind my proverbial back.