husband called the cops - need divorce lawyer

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm trying to image the officers' conversation after they left: Dude, did we just respond to a call from a father because his wife asked him to give his baby a bottle?

Holy mackerel. So sorry, OP.

I am 100% sure that is not the impression the cops left with because he (calm, rational husband) would never let them leave with that impression.

[Anonymous]

My gut is, in addition to the child rearing, OP is doing everything else in the house and bringing home the bacon as well (remember, she WOH). Why would he ever want this perfect situation to end?

What is WOH?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let's take a step back for a quick minute.

Can we all agree that this isn't about the one night feeding? No one calls the cops about a single night feeding. There is an underlying issue here, probably multiple. Yes, DH was a jerk and pulled an insane move to call the cops. No doubt about that. But what has been happening in the months/years prior to this incident?

Call me whatever name you want but an unprovoked call to the cops doesn't sound like it's all one sided where DH is at fault for everything under the sun. I don't want to victim blame and I'm not doing that but I just want to know more about what the underlying relationship was all about and how it was going before this incident.

Isn't anyone else curious about the length of the relationship, how DH has treated DW before they had kids, how old both parties are, what cultures they come from, etc? How is it that DCUM automatically jumps to, this marriage can't be save, counseling doesn't work for DH, and get a divorce?

Sounds like both parties are somewhat at fault in the relationship but in this specific incident, DH went way too far in calling the cops.

No, both parties are not at fault. The abusive husband is at fault.

At first he was great, sometimes amazing, and then, slowly, he became dissatisfied. Then he started picking on her. It seemed like nothing she could do was right. And all she would do was provoke him. He turned over furniture or thew things out (her things), or threw things. But he would be sorry, or not acknowledge it at all, and everything would be great again. But she just wouldn't stop provoking him. Slowly she saw her friends and family less (he didn't like them) and she could never relax because she never felt at ease at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let's take a step back for a quick minute.

Can we all agree that this isn't about the one night feeding? No one calls the cops about a single night feeding. There is an underlying issue here, probably multiple. Yes, DH was a jerk and pulled an insane move to call the cops. No doubt about that. But what has been happening in the months/years prior to this incident?

Call me whatever name you want but an unprovoked call to the cops doesn't sound like it's all one sided where DH is at fault for everything under the sun. I don't want to victim blame and I'm not doing that but I just want to know more about what the underlying relationship was all about and how it was going before this incident.

Isn't anyone else curious about the length of the relationship, how DH has treated DW before they had kids, how old both parties are, what cultures they come from, etc? How is it that DCUM automatically jumps to, this marriage can't be save, counseling doesn't work for DH, and get a divorce?

Sounds like both parties are somewhat at fault in the relationship but in this specific incident, DH went way too far in calling the cops.

No, both parties are not at fault. The abusive husband is at fault.

At first he was great, sometimes amazing, and then, slowly, he became dissatisfied. Then he started picking on her. It seemed like nothing she could do was right. And all she would do was provoke him. He turned over furniture or thew things out (her things), or threw things. But he would be sorry, or not acknowledge it at all, and everything would be great again. But she just wouldn't stop provoking him. Slowly she saw her friends and family less (he didn't like them) and she could never relax because she never felt at ease at home.

Only one party is at fault for threatening violence for being asked to take over a common parenting duty and then calling the cops to say he's being provoked - and I'll give you a hint - it's not the OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let's take a step back for a quick minute.

Can we all agree that this isn't about the one night feeding? No one calls the cops about a single night feeding. There is an underlying issue here, probably multiple. Yes, DH was a jerk and pulled an insane move to call the cops. No doubt about that. But what has been happening in the months/years prior to this incident?

Call me whatever name you want but an unprovoked call to the cops doesn't sound like it's all one sided where DH is at fault for everything under the sun. I don't want to victim blame and I'm not doing that but I just want to know more about what the underlying relationship was all about and how it was going before this incident.

Isn't anyone else curious about the length of the relationship, how DH has treated DW before they had kids, how old both parties are, what cultures they come from, etc? How is it that DCUM automatically jumps to, this marriage can't be save, counseling doesn't work for DH, and get a divorce?

Sounds like both parties are somewhat at fault in the relationship but in this specific incident, DH went way too far in calling the cops.

NP. There are always two sides but what strikes me about OP's story and makes me side with her is that the DH refused to help the baby. Obviously he was doing it to spite her, but decent people who truly have their children's best interests at heart, wouldn't do that no matter how they were feeling toward their spouse/partner in the moment. He could've helped the baby and THEN called the cops if there was a concern about how things would go with the OP - although if that was the case, why would he continue to bring the baby back to OP if he thought she was going to fly off the handle or do something?

This sounds like a man who has no regard for his own child's well-being and who is more concerned about positioning himself to be the blameless party and making OP look bad for whatever reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So, he isn't threatening the kids with violence, if that makes any difference. It's unspecified but I think threats are against me and destruction of my stuff.

Refusing to feed the baby actually is a threat.
Please get out of this situation pronto.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let's take a step back for a quick minute.

Can we all agree that this isn't about the one night feeding? No one calls the cops about a single night feeding. There is an underlying issue here, probably multiple. Yes, DH was a jerk and pulled an insane move to call the cops. No doubt about that. But what has been happening in the months/years prior to this incident?

Call me whatever name you want but an unprovoked call to the cops doesn't sound like it's all one sided where DH is at fault for everything under the sun. I don't want to victim blame and I'm not doing that but I just want to know more about what the underlying relationship was all about and how it was going before this incident.

Isn't anyone else curious about the length of the relationship, how DH has treated DW before they had kids, how old both parties are, what cultures they come from, etc? How is it that DCUM automatically jumps to, this marriage can't be save, counseling doesn't work for DH, and get a divorce?

Sounds like both parties are somewhat at fault in the relationship but in this specific incident, DH went way too far in calling the cops.

NP. There are always two sides but what strikes me about OP's story and makes me side with her is that the DH refused to help the baby. Obviously he was doing it to spite her, but decent people who truly have their children's best interests at heart, wouldn't do that no matter how they were feeling toward their spouse/partner in the moment. He could've helped the baby and THEN called the cops if there was a concern about how things would go with the OP - although if that was the case, why would he continue to bring the baby back to OP if he thought she was going to fly off the handle or do something?

This sounds like a man who has no regard for his own child's well-being and who is more concerned about positioning himself to be the blameless party and making OP look bad for whatever reason.

There are not two sides. This man is threatening violence against this woman. This has nothing to do with the baby or anything else.

He called the cops to intimidate her. He immediately straightened up and seemed calm and rational. I'm going to make a good guess that (tired, sleep deprived, abused, and distraught) OP was a little less calm and rational than he.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let's take a step back for a quick minute.

Can we all agree that this isn't about the one night feeding? No one calls the cops about a single night feeding. There is an underlying issue here, probably multiple. Yes, DH was a jerk and pulled an insane move to call the cops. No doubt about that. But what has been happening in the months/years prior to this incident?

Call me whatever name you want but an unprovoked call to the cops doesn't sound like it's all one sided where DH is at fault for everything under the sun. I don't want to victim blame and I'm not doing that but I just want to know more about what the underlying relationship was all about and how it was going before this incident.

Isn't anyone else curious about the length of the relationship, how DH has treated DW before they had kids, how old both parties are, what cultures they come from, etc? How is it that DCUM automatically jumps to, this marriage can't be save, counseling doesn't work for DH, and get a divorce?

Sounds like both parties are somewhat at fault in the relationship but in this specific incident, DH went way too far in calling the cops.

My point being- so that he would look good and she would look bad. He knows exactly what he's doing.

NP. There are always two sides but what strikes me about OP's story and makes me side with her is that the DH refused to help the baby. Obviously he was doing it to spite her, but decent people who truly have their children's best interests at heart, wouldn't do that no matter how they were feeling toward their spouse/partner in the moment. He could've helped the baby and THEN called the cops if there was a concern about how things would go with the OP - although if that was the case, why would he continue to bring the baby back to OP if he thought she was going to fly off the handle or do something?

This sounds like a man who has no regard for his own child's well-being and who is more concerned about positioning himself to be the blameless party and making OP look bad for whatever reason.

There are not two sides. This man is threatening violence against this woman. This has nothing to do with the baby or anything else.

He called the cops to intimidate her. He immediately straightened up and seemed calm and rational. I'm going to make a good guess that (tired, sleep deprived, abused, and distraught) OP was a little less calm and rational than he.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So, he isn't threatening the kids with violence, if that makes any difference. It's unspecified but I think threats are against me and destruction of my stuff.

Do a quick little google search on kids killed by their dads in 2018. Thousands of stories will come up. This is not about you.

Doorways for women in arlington.

[Anonymous]

Let me make this easier for you OP:
https://twitter.com/womencountusa?lang=en

If you open the data table, you will see all of the women killed by men in 2018. Also listed are children who died with their moms.

I really am not trying to scare you but you and your kids are in danger.

[Anonymous]

Just take the kids and move with your parents OP; there is really nothing he can do. If he calls the cops on you again, have your parents there. A man calling the cops over a night time bottle feeding is not rational. If my DH tried to pull this type of crap, I would leave immediately. Are you or the husband are originally from the US? Seems over the to, if you ask me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, he isn't threatening the kids with violence, if that makes any difference. It's unspecified but I think threats are against me and destruction of my stuff.

Do a quick little google search on kids killed by their dads in 2018. Thousands of stories will come up. This is not about you.

Doorways for women in arlington.

Mother are almost as likely to kill their kids as fathers. Remember we are equal and can do anything a man can do.


https://www.cnn.com/2017/07/07/health/filicide-parents-killing-kids-stats-trnd/index.html

Also... "thousands" is an overreach about 500 times each year with mothers doing almost half of the killings.

If a man feels in danger he should call the police also.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let's take a step back for a quick minute.

Can we all agree that this isn't about the one night feeding? No one calls the cops about a single night feeding. There is an underlying issue here, probably multiple. Yes, DH was a jerk and pulled an insane move to call the cops. No doubt about that. But what has been happening in the months/years prior to this incident?

Call me whatever name you want but an unprovoked call to the cops doesn't sound like it's all one sided where DH is at fault for everything under the sun. I don't want to victim blame and I'm not doing that but I just want to know more about what the underlying relationship was all about and how it was going before this incident.

Isn't anyone else curious about the length of the relationship, how DH has treated DW before they had kids, how old both parties are, what cultures they come from, etc? How is it that DCUM automatically jumps to, this marriage can't be save, counseling doesn't work for DH, and get a divorce?

Sounds like both parties are somewhat at fault in the relationship but in this specific incident, DH went way too far in calling the cops.

My point being- so that he would look good and she would look bad. He knows exactly what he's doing.

NP. There are always two sides but what strikes me about OP's story and makes me side with her is that the DH refused to help the baby. Obviously he was doing it to spite her, but decent people who truly have their children's best interests at heart, wouldn't do that no matter how they were feeling toward their spouse/partner in the moment. He could've helped the baby and THEN called the cops if there was a concern about how things would go with the OP - although if that was the case, why would he continue to bring the baby back to OP if he thought she was going to fly off the handle or do something?

This sounds like a man who has no regard for his own child's well-being and who is more concerned about positioning himself to be the blameless party and making OP look bad for whatever reason.

There are not two sides. This man is threatening violence against this woman. This has nothing to do with the baby or anything else.

He called the cops to intimidate her. He immediately straightened up and seemed calm and rational. I'm going to make a good guess that (tired, sleep deprived, abused, and distraught) OP was a little less calm and rational than he.

What?? Of course this had to do with the baby and whatever other issues had been going on up to this point. I also made the point of saying that he called the cops to make OP look bad. I just wonder what's been going on in their marriage that this is the result? That does not mean that OP did anything to provoke it, of course. The point being is that it's obviously not a healthy relationship when one spouse calls the cops on the other over something like this, and OP should do whatever she has to for the sake of herself and her baby.

And calling the cops on someone is not threatening violence. It's many things, sure, but not that. In this case, I think it was calculating, manipulative and out of line for the DH to call the cops in this situation. But I didn't read anything in the OP or her subsequent posts that her DH actually threatened her with violence over the baby issue, or that he was out of control prior to calling the cops. Again, I'm not saying that OP is wrong or that the DH was justified in his actions. Between the back-and-forth with the baby and calling the cops, the man seems unhinged (and I don't say that lightly).

[Anonymous]

There's more to this story but that doesn't really matter. You two do not need to be together.

[Anonymous]

And calling the cops on someone is not threatening violence. It's many things, sure, but not that. In this case, I think it was calculating, manipulative and out of line for the DH to call the cops in this situation. But I didn't read anything in the OP or her subsequent posts that her DH actually threatened her with violence over the baby issue, or that he was out of control prior to calling the cops. Again, I'm not saying that OP is wrong or that the DH was justified in his actions. Between the back-and-forth with the baby and calling the cops, the man seems unhinged (and I don't say that lightly).

You should go back and read her original post then. She states that her husband has threatened violence in the past and specifically threatened violence when the asked him to do the night feedings before this incident.

But yeah, it's just an unhealthy dynamic.