husband called the cops - need divorce lawyer

[Anonymous]

"They told my husband to go somewhere else if he didn't want to be there, and suggested that he set up cameras to record what goes on to protect himself (he told them he had called them to protect himself against my baseless accusations of abuse)." THIS.

The cops will ALWAYS believe the husband because he ALWAYS looks like he is the calm, rational one and the wife is a mess (because he has made her a mess). Please read the book I suggested OP.

This was not true for me. My exH called the cops on me, similar situation except we had no kids. I will forever be grateful to the responding MoCo officers who saw through his BS and arrested him. I refused to testify against him in court and didn't even begin to realize how abusive he was until many months after that incident. Please, OP, seek individual therapy.

[Anonymous]

Why did you have another baby with him? Wasn't it clear after the first one that he sucks?

It sounds like you push eachothers buttons and this doesn't sound like the whole story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why did you have another baby with him? Wasn't it clear after the first one that he sucks?

It sounds like you push each others buttons and this doesn't sound like the whole story.

I don't understand this either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Long story short: My husband is verbally and emotionally abusive and has threatened physical violence. I've been trying to make it work because we have 2 small kids.

I've been waking up every time with our baby (now 10 months). Sunday night, i was up with him 5 times and was exhausted (I WOH). So the following morning (yesterday) I told my husband I needed help and that I expected him to feed the baby a bottle overnight. He's never fed the baby. He didn't say anything to that.

I asked him to do this once previously, about a month ago when I was very sick, and he threatened violence. I told him that was unacceptable but... he still didn't feed the baby. I was too sick to fight with him over it. I fed the baby.

Last night I left the formula and a bottle on the counter and I left the monitor on next to his bed (I sleep in a room with the baby, he sleeps downstairs so the baby doesn't bother him). I texted him that I was going to sleep and I thanked him in advance for helping me get a better night's sleep.

He turned off the monitor and went to sleep.

When the baby woke up, I brought him downstairs, woke up my husband and put the baby on the bed with him. I told him the baby needed a bottle. I went back upstairs.

He brought baby back upstairs without feeding him, put him back in his crib. I brought baby back to him, said he needed to be fed.

Husband again threatened violence, then called the cops, accused me of provoking him to violence and of trying to make him do something that would work against him in a custody battle (I wasn't - I just wanted him to feed baby so I could sleep). Cops came. It was crazy. I can't believe he would do something that would possibly get our kids taken away from us.

He has been accusing me of manipulating him into doing something that would get him in trouble. He was very clear to the cops that he was the one to contact them, as if I were the wrongdoer in the situation, and very sure that he was extremely well-behaved in front of them. I have not yet contacted a lawyer. As I said, I've been trying to make this work. I just wanted him to feed baby a bottle so I could get a couple hours of sleep. But I think I'd better contact a lawyer now.

Any lawyer recommendations?
What else should I be doing? I'm in therapy. I've got some money. I have parents who can help.

As someone who had authorities called on me by my husband/family (he used a therapist who he rooked in), understand one thing: the police are not stupid and neither is social services. I won't go through the details except to tell you they were surprised when told by social services that if they called again, that social services would press charges against them. That ceased their behavior.

Take the baby and go to your parent's home and stay there. Then decide what to do.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, I don’t believe the cops for one second sided with your husband. I know it might have felt that way, but no.
I don’t care how calm he was acting. Telling anybody that “wife is driving me to hit her”? That’s not going to fly. Not in court. I can’t believe posters are saying he is being smart. The idiot has it on record that he is threatening violence. That he had to have police intervene in feeding his child, because he couldn’t handle it. Bitch had it coming isn’t a legal defense or excuse.
The cops were trying to calm everyone down and not get shot, because domestic calls are where they are mostly likely to be killed.
They asked you if you felt safe, and you said yes.
Wrong answer by the way, but too late now.
Pretty much all they can do is tell you guys to work it out.
That had zero power to do anything at that point.

[Anonymous]

I only read the original post not any responses, and I do NOT agree with your husband but I can not imagine why on earth you wouldn't feed a hungry baby, instead of walking up and down the steps multiple times trying to prove a point. Please don't put the baby in the middle of your argument.

Your husband sounds like a real @$$hole. I'd GTFO out there.

[Anonymous]

I hope you’ve spoken with an attorney

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't put your baby in the hands of an angry asshole.

. This. My god.

Please stop blaming her. [/quot

Her fault she’s in this mess

[Anonymous]

You clueless women are the reason poor cops get killed trying to stop the abusive asshole

Where is your self esteem?!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I said earlier that he is setting you up.

I agree 100% with the other posters that say he's going to file and ask for sole custody to try to get you to give up all sorts of things just so you can have your kids 50%.

He's setting you up as mentally unstable. Could your mother, sister, cousin, or friend come and give you some relief with the baby? Ignore all the people that are giving you grief for the baby being up at night. They've never had a baby that wasn't a sleeper. I have two nieces that really never slept as babies, no matter what their parents tried.

Any chance there's another woman? He could just be your garden variety psychopath, but he seems to really want to leave in a very strong financial position.

So sorry you are dealing with this. Take care of yourself.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, he isn't threatening the kids with violence, if that makes any difference. It's unspecified but I think threats are against me and destruction of my stuff.

Do a quick little google search on kids killed by their dads in 2018. Thousands of stories will come up. This is not about you.

Doorways for women in arlington.

Mother are almost as likely to kill their kids as fathers. Remember we are equal and can do anything a man can do.


https://www.cnn.com/2017/07/07/health/filicide-parents-killing-kids-stats-trnd/index.html

Also... "thousands" is an overreach about 500 times each year with mothers doing almost half of the killings.

If a man feels in danger he should call the police also.

FFU incel monster.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, he isn't threatening the kids with violence, if that makes any difference. It's unspecified but I think threats are against me and destruction of my stuff.

Do a quick little google search on kids killed by their dads in 2018. Thousands of stories will come up. This is not about you.

Doorways for women in arlington.

Mother are almost as likely to kill their kids as fathers. Remember we are equal and can do anything a man can do.


https://www.cnn.com/2017/07/07/health/filicide-parents-killing-kids-stats-trnd/index.html

Also... "thousands" is an overreach about 500 times each year with mothers doing almost half of the killings.

If a man feels in danger he should call the police also.

It's interesting that the CNN article states mothers are "as likely to be the killers as dads," but then the graph clearly states the percentages, with 42.6% of mothers being responsible for murdering their children and 57.4% of dads killing their children. Approximately 15% difference seems significant enough to modify that statement.

FFU incel monster.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So, he isn't threatening the kids with violence, if that makes any difference. It's unspecified but I think threats are against me and destruction of my stuff.

Not wanting to feed your child is violent. Plain and clear.

[Anonymous]

I’m generally opposed to divorce, but OP this story is bananas. You need to start doing the following ASAP:

- Contact an attorney. Assess what the varying retainers are and how you will pay for it. If you don’t want DH to know, you’ll have to come up with cash, an account he does not have access to, or get a loan from your family.

- Budget. You WOH, which is good as I assume you already have childcare. Come up with a budget assuming he pays you nothing.

- In the interim, ask if he will attend marriage counseling.

- Start coming up with a list of all this crazy stuff.

[Anonymous]

When someone tells you who they are, believe them. He has threatened violence multiple times and you do not need him to make good on it before you leave. He could hurt you or the baby. Rent an apartment and get the hell out immediately.