S/O what do you gain from maintaining a a friendship with a man whose wife hates you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interesting how his wife Myst be abusive if she doesn't like you sniffing around her husband.

Paranoia isn’t sexy.

And being overly interested in another woman's husband is usually not a smart thing.

I was friends with him long before she was the picture have no designs on him other than friendship. I’m sorry you’re so terrified your husband’s going to fall for someone else and leave you, but projecting your emotional issues on everyone else isn’t going to help.

Oh, get over yourself. He married her. That's the person he's committed himself to whether you like her or not. Judging from this post she probably has valid reasons for hating you. You sound pushy and disrespectful towards their marriage. If you really cared about your friend you would make more of an effort to be on good terms with his wife. But I sense an "eff her" mentality on your part.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interesting how his wife Myst be abusive if she doesn't like you sniffing around her husband.

Paranoia isn’t sexy.

And being overly interested in another woman's husband is usually not a smart thing.

I was friends with him long before she was the picture have no designs on him other than friendship. I’m sorry you’re so terrified your husband’s going to fall for someone else and leave you, but projecting your emotional issues on everyone else isn’t going to help.

Oh, get over yourself. He married her. That's the person he's committed himself to whether you like her or not. Judging from this post she probably has valid reasons for hating you. You sound pushy and disrespectful towards their marriage. If you really cared about your friend you would make more of an effort to be on good terms with his wife. But I sense an "eff her" mentality on your part.

I was married before he even met her, it’s not like I was sitting around hoping he’d fall for me. I’ve never anything but kind and pleasant to her, her hatred of me is her issue, not mine. Just like your emotions are your issue, not hers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interesting how his wife Myst be abusive if she doesn't like you sniffing around her husband.

Paranoia isn’t sexy.

And being overly interested in another woman's husband is usually not a smart thing.

I was friends with him long before she was the picture have no designs on him other than friendship. I’m sorry you’re so terrified your husband’s going to fall for someone else and leave you, but projecting your emotional issues on everyone else isn’t going to help.

Oh, get over yourself. He married her. That's the person he's committed himself to whether you like her or not. Judging from this post she probably has valid reasons for hating you. You sound pushy and disrespectful towards their marriage. If you really cared about your friend you would make more of an effort to be on good terms with his wife. But I sense an "eff her" mentality on your part.

I was married before he even met her, it’s not like I was sitting around hoping he’d fall for me. I’ve never anything but kind and pleasant to her, her hatred of me is her issue, not mine. Just like your emotions are your issue, not hers.

So you'll continue to get together with him for coffee, drinks, whatever whether she likes it or not, right? That is certainly your choice to make. I just would not be comfortable seeing him under those circumstances. If I did get together with him I would want my own husband and probably other friends around, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just seems like unnecessary headache and drama for people in their 30s or 40 s and beyond. I'd rather put time into relationships that don't have a cloud over them. Plus I'd be a little uncomfortable spending time with someone who does things to irritate their spouse .

I've heard the she's insecure/ immature reasoning and that's got nothing to do with our relationship. But honestly that sounds a lot like the " she's crazy" excuse cheaters give and APs buy.
So help me understand ?

And yes I have male friends and my husband has female friends, but we all get along.

Sounds like you need to leave married men alone.

You probably give off a predator vive when you are around him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interesting how his wife Myst be abusive if she doesn't like you sniffing around her husband.

Paranoia isn’t sexy.

And being overly interested in another woman's husband is usually not a smart thing.

I was friends with him long before she was the picture have no designs on him other than friendship. I’m sorry you’re so terrified your husband’s going to fall for someone else and leave you, but projecting your emotional issues on everyone else isn’t going to help.

Oh, get over yourself. He married her. That's the person he's committed himself to whether you like her or not. Judging from this post she probably has valid reasons for hating you. You sound pushy and disrespectful towards their marriage. If you really cared about your friend you would make more of an effort to be on good terms with his wife. But I sense an "eff her" mentality on your part.

I was married before he even met her, it’s not like I was sitting around hoping he’d fall for me. I’ve never anything but kind and pleasant to her, her hatred of me is her issue, not mine. Just like your emotions are your issue, not hers.

So you'll continue to get together with him for coffee, drinks, whatever whether she likes it or not, right? That is certainly your choice to make. I just would not be comfortable seeing him under those circumstances. If I did get together with him I would want my own husband and probably other friends around, too.

Sounds like you know you can’t trust yourself around men. That’s not true for everyone, but it’s good to know your own flaws and be careful with them.

[Anonymous]

Well, DH's best friend long ago, got mad that we went on a short day trip that we planned long ago, and he and his gf then(wife now) were supposed to join. Called in the morning to say her back is bad, and they can't go. We went, and then that night when we were back called DH to tell him his feelings were hurt we went without them and should have spend time with him that day. (In phone conversation, he was all like, no you go). I am pretty sure I am not the insecure one in this particular situation. I have an accent(immigrant) and he called on the phone and mocked talked like some stranger with a strong accent. He was 25 when this happened, so not teens. Who cares now, but this was so weird to me at the time.
DH has other friends who are regular, nice people. I have ton of friends, so I would guess that if wife is normal regular person, that best friend is doing something weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, DH's best friend long ago, got mad that we went on a short day trip that we planned long ago, and he and his gf then(wife now) were supposed to join. Called in the morning to say her back is bad, and they can't go. We went, and then that night when we were back called DH to tell him his feelings were hurt we went without them and should have spend time with him that day. (In phone conversation, he was all like, no you go). I am pretty sure I am not the insecure one in this particular situation. I have an accent(immigrant) and he called on the phone and mocked talked like some stranger with a strong accent. He was 25 when this happened, so not teens. Who cares now, but this was so weird to me at the time.
DH has other friends who are regular, nice people. I have ton of friends, so I would guess that if wife is normal regular person, that best friend is doing something weird.

I’m so confused....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, DH's best friend long ago, got mad that we went on a short day trip that we planned long ago, and he and his gf then(wife now) were supposed to join. Called in the morning to say her back is bad, and they can't go. We went, and then that night when we were back called DH to tell him his feelings were hurt we went without them and should have spend time with him that day. (In phone conversation, he was all like, no you go). I am pretty sure I am not the insecure one in this particular situation. I have an accent(immigrant) and he called on the phone and mocked talked like some stranger with a strong accent. He was 25 when this happened, so not teens. Who cares now, but this was so weird to me at the time.
DH has other friends who are regular, nice people. I have ton of friends, so I would guess that if wife is normal regular person, that best friend is doing something weird.

I’m so confused....

I was confused too! I asked DH if his male friend is gay and if something is happening there. Now, DH is not gay, but I am not so sure about his friend, even now. What are you confused about? My reaction or DH's or friend's? DH is not friend with him anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interesting how his wife Myst be abusive if she doesn't like you sniffing around her husband.

Paranoia isn’t sexy.

And being overly interested in another woman's husband is usually not a smart thing.

I was friends with him long before she was the picture have no designs on him other than friendship. I’m sorry you’re so terrified your husband’s going to fall for someone else and leave you, but projecting your emotional issues on everyone else isn’t going to help.

Oh, get over yourself. He married her. That's the person he's committed himself to whether you like her or not. Judging from this post she probably has valid reasons for hating you. You sound pushy and disrespectful towards their marriage. If you really cared about your friend you would make more of an effort to be on good terms with his wife. But I sense an "eff her" mentality on your part.

I was married before he even met her, it’s not like I was sitting around hoping he’d fall for me. I’ve never anything but kind and pleasant to her, her hatred of me is her issue, not mine. Just like your emotions are your issue, not hers.

So you'll continue to get together with him for coffee, drinks, whatever whether she likes it or not, right? That is certainly your choice to make. I just would not be comfortable seeing him under those circumstances. If I did get together with him I would want my own husband and probably other friends around, too.

Sounds like you know you can’t trust yourself around men. That’s not true for everyone, but it’s good to know your own flaws and be careful with them.

Uh, no. But if my good male friend had a jealous wife like that I would go out of my way to avoid any appearance of impropriety on my part. I'm not generally a sh*t stirrer.

[Anonymous]

Nothing to gain - just move on. When I was in law school years ago, I had a casual friendship with a guy whose wife hated me. I'm not sure why because the friendship was based on being in the same study group and liking some of the same sports teams. It wasn't a physical or emotional affair. He was a nice guy, but not worth the drama created by his wife (who claimed to be uncomfortable with me because I was Jewish and not a Christian, but the guy had other Jewish friends)

[Anonymous]

Marriage is more important than friendship. If your relationship with someone who is married is causing drama in the marriage, and the married partner is too weak or needy to end the friend ship, you should have the dignity and maturity to do so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interesting how his wife Myst be abusive if she doesn't like you sniffing around her husband.

Paranoia isn’t sexy.

And being overly interested in another woman's husband is usually not a smart thing.

I was friends with him long before she was the picture have no designs on him other than friendship. I’m sorry you’re so terrified your husband’s going to fall for someone else and leave you, but projecting your emotional issues on everyone else isn’t going to help.

Oh, get over yourself. He married her. That's the person he's committed himself to whether you like her or not. Judging from this post she probably has valid reasons for hating you. You sound pushy and disrespectful towards their marriage. If you really cared about your friend you would make more of an effort to be on good terms with his wife. But I sense an "eff her" mentality on your part.

I was married before he even met her, it’s not like I was sitting around hoping he’d fall for me. I’ve never anything but kind and pleasant to her, her hatred of me is her issue, not mine. Just like your emotions are your issue, not hers.

So you'll continue to get together with him for coffee, drinks, whatever whether she likes it or not, right? That is certainly your choice to make. I just would not be comfortable seeing him under those circumstances. If I did get together with him I would want my own husband and probably other friends around, too.

Sounds like you know you can’t trust yourself around men. That’s not true for everyone, but it’s good to know your own flaws and be careful with them.

Uh, no. But if my good male friend had a jealous wife like that I would go out of my way to avoid any appearance of impropriety on my part. I'm not generally a sh*t stirrer.

But why are you catering to the “appearance” of impropriety if there is none?

If you have a security person following you in a store, do you suddenly leave, just because rhy were following you?
Would you pay a parking ticket, if you knew you were properly parked?
Would you pay a bill collector for a bill you knew want yours?

[Anonymous]

Let's be honest here. It is because women know that most men aren't really friends with women just for being friends. It might have ended that way, but most guys always have an ulterior motive. Any woman that is not butt ugly has experienced that. Friends only till he starts pursuing you. So, while women might never be into that guy friend, he was, in 99%, into that female friend, if he is straight, at one point, and hoped for something. So year, she might not be worried that the female friend has feeling for her DH, she is most likely worried about his feelings for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interesting how his wife Myst be abusive if she doesn't like you sniffing around her husband.

Paranoia isn’t sexy.

And being overly interested in another woman's husband is usually not a smart thing.

I was friends with him long before she was the picture have no designs on him other than friendship. I’m sorry you’re so terrified your husband’s going to fall for someone else and leave you, but projecting your emotional issues on everyone else isn’t going to help.

Oh, get over yourself. He married her. That's the person he's committed himself to whether you like her or not. Judging from this post she probably has valid reasons for hating you. You sound pushy and disrespectful towards their marriage. If you really cared about your friend you would make more of an effort to be on good terms with his wife. But I sense an "eff her" mentality on your part.

I was married before he even met her, it’s not like I was sitting around hoping he’d fall for me. I’ve never anything but kind and pleasant to her, her hatred of me is her issue, not mine. Just like your emotions are your issue, not hers.

So you'll continue to get together with him for coffee, drinks, whatever whether she likes it or not, right? That is certainly your choice to make. I just would not be comfortable seeing him under those circumstances. If I did get together with him I would want my own husband and probably other friends around, too.

Sounds like you know you can’t trust yourself around men. That’s not true for everyone, but it’s good to know your own flaws and be careful with them.

Uh, no. But if my good male friend had a jealous wife like that I would go out of my way to avoid any appearance of impropriety on my part. I'm not generally a sh*t stirrer.

But why are you catering to the “appearance” of impropriety if there is none?

If you have a security person following you in a store, do you suddenly leave, just because rhy were following you?
Would you pay a parking ticket, if you knew you were properly parked?
Would you pay a bill collector for a bill you knew want yours?

I would not do anything to purposely stoke jealousy in my friend's wife. Obviously, she doesn't like it when you meet up with her husband. You don't like her and she doesn't like you. If she feels uncomfortable with the amount of attention that you are paying her husband, oh well. Rightly or wrongly she doesn't want you two hanging out alone together like that. I would personally plan to meet with the guy when others were around.

As much as you love your friend, you have no idea what kind of husband he is to his wife or whether or not he has been unfaithful. He tells you a lot but he probably doesn't tell you everything. He may be doing and saying things to his wife that are making her feel insecure. Regardless, he married her and you should respect their marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interesting how his wife Myst be abusive if she doesn't like you sniffing around her husband.

Paranoia isn’t sexy.

And being overly interested in another woman's husband is usually not a smart thing.

I was friends with him long before she was the picture have no designs on him other than friendship. I’m sorry you’re so terrified your husband’s going to fall for someone else and leave you, but projecting your emotional issues on everyone else isn’t going to help.

Oh, get over yourself. He married her. That's the person he's committed himself to whether you like her or not. Judging from this post she probably has valid reasons for hating you. You sound pushy and disrespectful towards their marriage. If you really cared about your friend you would make more of an effort to be on good terms with his wife. But I sense an "eff her" mentality on your part.

I was married before he even met her, it’s not like I was sitting around hoping he’d fall for me. I’ve never anything but kind and pleasant to her, her hatred of me is her issue, not mine. Just like your emotions are your issue, not hers.

So you'll continue to get together with him for coffee, drinks, whatever whether she likes it or not, right? That is certainly your choice to make. I just would not be comfortable seeing him under those circumstances. If I did get together with him I would want my own husband and probably other friends around, too.

Sounds like you know you can’t trust yourself around men. That’s not true for everyone, but it’s good to know your own flaws and be careful with them.

Uh, no. But if my good male friend had a jealous wife like that I would go out of my way to avoid any appearance of impropriety on my part. I'm not generally a sh*t stirrer.

You are the problem, not the wife.

Leave married men alone.