S/O what do you gain from maintaining a a friendship with a man whose wife hates you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You aren't equal to your friend's wife PP. Sorry.

Get over that notion.

It’s not my concern where I “rank” relative to anyone else in my friend’s mind as long as I am respecting his preferences, boundaries, etc., and him mine. If he needs to rank relationships and cut people off accordingly, that’s for him to decide and I respect him as a person capable of making that decision.

If I knew our friendship were interfering with his marriage because he’d revealed feelings for me beyond friendship, I would put distance for his sake, not his wife’s, because I am not available or otherwise interested in leading him on. But without any evidence of such feelings, I’m not going to cut him off over his wife’s irrational jealousy.

[Anonymous]

The pp responding like it’s her job is insufferable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The pp responding like it’s her job is insufferable.

And woefully misguided.

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The pp responding like it’s her job is insufferable.

And woefully misguided.

Here’s a clue: if he wants to cheat on you, he doesn’t need me to do it. Even if I dropped him entirely, he could screw some other random chick. You will always be worrying that there’s someone else he’d rather eff than you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The pp responding like it’s her job is insufferable.

And woefully misguided.

Uh oh. Now she looks unbalanced.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The pp responding like it’s her job is insufferable.

And woefully misguided.

It’s funny that you think there is only one person.

Like PP just responded.. there are plenty of people your DH can get with if he so chooses. He doesn’t need a friend from the past.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok Gone Girl
Enjoy your trainwreck

You realize Gone Girl is about a batshit wife, right?

Yes I do but you have it covered so well. So just Bat shit crazy “friend”

I’m not the one flipping my shit on DCUM about someone else’s platonic relationship.

NP here. No but you are on DCUM flipping your shit about someone else’s marriage and frankly you don’t understand rank. The wife comes first.

Besides, she might know something you don’t like she overheard him telling a guy friend about your butt or boobs or how he used to want to date you. Or he cheated on her and he’s never told you because he wants to sleep with you next. You just don’t know. Whatever it is, give his wife some respect and stop pushing her buttons. Besides, if she is an insecure bat-shit person why do you care? He’s a grown man, he married her. Walk away.

Rank? Seriously?

If the wife came first, then her husband would bow out. She doesn’t “rank” over me in life. If he wants her to lord over him, that’s his choice. He has the option to call end the friendship.

My marriage is equal, and my friends are equal, but on a different plane. It’s so weird to discuss rank.

Yeah, I agree with the pp who said that you don't understand rank. In your mind, friends and spouses rank the same but that is not true for most people. We love our friends and we care about them but we are committed to our spouses and we actually do answer to our spouses. Friends just don't have the same level of skin in the game. Not even close.

Okay then, great rank guru... please explain to me how his wife should rank over me in my own life?

I mean, my brother is in the military and outranks me There, but he still has to help with the dishes when he visits and I make dinner. BecUse his rank means FA to me in terms of our relationship. Just like the “ranks” of my friend’s spouses mean nothing to me. That’s their relationship to negotiate.

Okay troll.

It means butt out of these people's marriage and go find your own friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok Gone Girl
Enjoy your trainwreck

You realize Gone Girl is about a batshit wife, right?

Yes I do but you have it covered so well. So just Bat shit crazy “friend”

I’m not the one flipping my shit on DCUM about someone else’s platonic relationship.

NP here. No but you are on DCUM flipping your shit about someone else’s marriage and frankly you don’t understand rank. The wife comes first.

Besides, she might know something you don’t like she overheard him telling a guy friend about your butt or boobs or how he used to want to date you. Or he cheated on her and he’s never told you because he wants to sleep with you next. You just don’t know. Whatever it is, give his wife some respect and stop pushing her buttons. Besides, if she is an insecure bat-shit person why do you care? He’s a grown man, he married her. Walk away.

Rank? Seriously?

If the wife came first, then her husband would bow out. She doesn’t “rank” over me in life. If he wants her to lord over him, that’s his choice. He has the option to call end the friendship.

My marriage is equal, and my friends are equal, but on a different plane. It’s so weird to discuss rank.

Yeah, I agree with the pp who said that you don't understand rank. In your mind, friends and spouses rank the same but that is not true for most people. We love our friends and we care about them but we are committed to our spouses and we actually do answer to our spouses. Friends just don't have the same level of skin in the game. Not even close.

Okay then, great rank guru... please explain to me how his wife should rank over me in my own life?

I mean, my brother is in the military and outranks me There, but he still has to help with the dishes when he visits and I make dinner. BecUse his rank means FA to me in terms of our relationship. Just like the “ranks” of my friend’s spouses mean nothing to me. That’s their relationship to negotiate.

Okay troll.

It means butt out of these people's marriage and go find your own friends.

I have my own friends. One of them includes your husband. We’ve been friends for 25 years. I don’t care what you think, but I do care what he thinks. I didn’t marry him - you did. Take your issues up with him.

Oh wait... you did, and he didn’t GAF. Because he is his own person, and not concerned with your “ranks”. I’ll butt out (a stupid term, but whatever), when he tells me to.

He’s a good person, but your need for control is going to drive him away. And me, along with the other 5 of us (some male, some female) that got through high school and all other life together, will be There to get him through again. Because that’s what friends do.

[Anonymous]

Op, the way you keep flipping your lid with total nonsense is be deeply disappointed if ANYONE I knew chose to spend time with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You aren't equal to your friend's wife PP. Sorry.

Get over that notion.

It’s not my concern where I “rank” relative to anyone else in my friend’s mind as long as I am respecting his preferences, boundaries, etc., and him mine. If he needs to rank relationships and cut people off accordingly, that’s for him to decide and I respect him as a person capable of making that decision.

If I knew our friendship were interfering with his marriage because he’d revealed feelings for me beyond friendship, I would put distance for his sake, not his wife’s, because I am not available or otherwise interested in leading him on. But without any evidence of such feelings, I’m not going to cut him off over his wife’s irrational jealousy.

Are you 16 yo?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The pp responding like it’s her job is insufferable.

And woefully misguided.

Here’s a clue: if he wants to cheat on you, he doesn’t need me to do it. Even if I dropped him entirely, he could screw some other random chick. You will always be worrying that there’s someone else he’d rather eff than you.

There she goes again!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You aren't equal to your friend's wife PP. Sorry.

Get over that notion.

It’s not my concern where I “rank” relative to anyone else in my friend’s mind as long as I am respecting his preferences, boundaries, etc., and him mine. If he needs to rank relationships and cut people off accordingly, that’s for him to decide and I respect him as a person capable of making that decision.

If I knew our friendship were interfering with his marriage because he’d revealed feelings for me beyond friendship, I would put distance for his sake, not his wife’s, because I am not available or otherwise interested in leading him on. But without any evidence of such feelings, I’m not going to cut him off over his wife’s irrational jealousy.

Are you 16 yo?

No, when I was 16 I let myself get caught up in the drama of my friends’ relationships. Now I’m mature enough to let them figure it out on their own.

[Anonymous]

It’s just the one crazy aggressive responder, I’m sure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s just the one crazy aggressive responder, I’m sure.

Pretending that ANYone else agrees with her at this point.