Do you ever regret not marrying for the "lifestyle"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In the 2020s I think you will start to see an acceleration of downwardly mobile whites move to Europe.

Earning 1500 euros a month in a small walkable town in Italy (like Verona) is “nicer” than being lmc/working poor in the USA.

Yes, because Europe will gladly open up their borders for these people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid finished college and got a job. They will stay for 3 years at home with us so that they can leave home with at least 150K saved.

What does this have to do with OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In the 2020s I think you will start to see an acceleration of downwardly mobile whites move to Europe.

Earning 1500 euros a month in a small walkable town in Italy (like Verona) is “nicer” than being lmc/working poor in the USA.

Yes, because Europe will gladly open up their borders for these people.

Have you seen Bloomberg, it’s accelerating and lots of Americans qualify thru various methods

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you 30, 40, 50? For early to mid 30s, not uncommon.

So true. We're frugal. It took a while and COVID stay-at-home to pull the house together. 30s, early 40s bought house. Finally in 50s with tween, house looks put together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess I assumed my married life would be similar to my parents and my family life growing up. I would live in a nice single family house in a nice neighborhood. I would have 2 cars and a dog. I would decorate the house for Christmas. I would have nice furniture.

Well...I married someone with whom our combined income does not make that life feasible in Northern Virginia. We rent an apartment and cannot afford to have nice furniture. It now seems that that life will never come by to us. I am trying to make peace with it. Anyone else in similar circumstances?

Why would you assume this while not choosing a career with matching salary and making sound financial decisions?

NP here. Things are totally different now. My parents worked but didn’t have high earning jobs, and somehow still had a nice home and 2 cars and 2 kids. The same jobs today would not buy that same lifestyle, at least not in this area.

Op and I are roughly the same age. Things have been trash for Millennials since we graduated what magic wand did you and op think was going to fall out of the sky?
Truth is you weird spoilt rotten had shot handed to you all your life and never had to think about or plan anything. Just thought shit would be there for you always like a spoilt child

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In the 2020s I think you will start to see an acceleration of downwardly mobile whites move to Europe.

Earning 1500 euros a month in a small walkable town in Italy (like Verona) is “nicer” than being lmc/working poor in the USA.

This is about as clueless as Biden administration officials telling the poors that if they don't like the price of gas, they should buy an EV (average EV price $66,000).

If your life is going downhill in America, you are certainly not going to be able to afford a move to Europe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a lower standard of living that I grew up with. My parents were medical professionals in the midwest and were affluent. My home life was also horrific. I moved out here for a low paying job but I had a great friend network and I loved what I did. It was really healing for me. I married a guy who is the opposite of my father. My DH is emotionally available, kind, loving and I'm his favorite person. I feel the same about him. DH is also under-employed, has ADHD and, by DCUM standards, isn't worthy. Yet, I'd much rather have my 'poors' lifestyle than the affluent lifestyle I grew up with. My life is rich in the things that matter.

And, if I wanted that affluent lifestyle, I wouldn't expect to obtain in through marriage. If I want it, I'll earn it.

+1 YES!

[Anonymous]

OP, how old are you? And how long have you been married? Are you comparing apples to apples when you look at the lifestyle when you we’re raised to where you are now? I married when I was in my late 20s, we had ikea furniture and your typical hand me downs dining table, couch, etc to furnish our apartment. We slowly saved and bought a starter home and started our family and eventually upgraded to a single family home by the time our kids started school. At this point, I had more experience and my income grew.

When I got my first job out of college, I was expecting to earn the salaries my parents made — this was at the peak of their careers after 20+ years of professional experience. When looking at houses, I expected to immediately buy the single-family home. There’s a natural progression. It’s all about perspective. (They’re called starter Hines for a reason, everyone has to start somewhere!) I was expecting the same that I had growing up (a good salary, a nice home, etc), when I was first starting out. But many years later, I’m in a different place with my career (income), have a family, 2 cars, SFH.

When you look back at your upbringing, are you comparing the same stage of life where you are now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, how old are you? And how long have you been married? Are you comparing apples to apples when you look at the lifestyle when you we’re raised to where you are now? I married when I was in my late 20s, we had ikea furniture and your typical hand me downs dining table, couch, etc to furnish our apartment. We slowly saved and bought a starter home and started our family and eventually upgraded to a single family home by the time our kids started school. At this point, I had more experience and my income grew.

When I got my first job out of college, I was expecting to earn the salaries my parents made — this was at the peak of their careers after 20+ years of professional experience. When looking at houses, I expected to immediately buy the single-family home. There’s a natural progression. It’s all about perspective. (They’re called starter Hines for a reason, everyone has to start somewhere!) I was expecting the same that I had growing up (a good salary, a nice home, etc), when I was first starting out. But many years later, I’m in a different place with my career (income), have a family, 2 cars, SFH.

When you look back at your upbringing, are you comparing the same stage of life where you are now?

I'm old (40) and have worked for 19 years. I have nicer things because I've worked a long time. My gen z/millenial coworkers want the same things I have, and some have nicer things, but those are funded by their parents or they're in debt up to their eyeballs

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe you're not hot enough to marry a guy who makes that kind of money, so it was never going to happen and there's no point in regretting it.

Meh, I’ve noticed that a lot of rich guys, even hot ones, are married to plain women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In the 2020s I think you will start to see an acceleration of downwardly mobile whites move to Europe.

Earning 1500 euros a month in a small walkable town in Italy (like Verona) is “nicer” than being lmc/working poor in the USA.

Yes, because Europe will gladly open up their borders for these people.

Yes, with their declining birthrates, they will be happy to open their borders to white, Christian educated Americans, especially those who have ancestral roots on those countries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Downward mobility. It’s brutal. It’s not even about what you do or don’t have, it’s knowing what you’re missing.

One thing I’ve noticed is that it hits white gentiles way more than Asians or Jews.

Hispanics and blacks seem in general to be upwardly mobile.

Jews and Asians maintain or are above or slightly below.

White gentile parents definitely don’t talk to their kids seriously about downward mobility risks like Jewish and Asian parents do and it shows years later

They do too. WTF are you talking about? Sounds more like some bigoted dig.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In the 2020s I think you will start to see an acceleration of downwardly mobile whites move to Europe.

Earning 1500 euros a month in a small walkable town in Italy (like Verona) is “nicer” than being lmc/working poor in the USA.

This is about as clueless as Biden administration officials telling the poors that if they don't like the price of gas, they should buy an EV (average EV price $66,000).

If your life is going downhill in America, you are certainly not going to be able to afford a move to Europe.

Not true.

Downwardly mobile whites where the parents were umc professionals but the kids are lmc/working precáriat will be better off in Europe.

The main difference is cheap/downscale neighborhoods In Western Europe are a lot more palatable to live in than in the us.

Being downwardly mobile/poor comes with a host of headaches that you don’t get in Western Europe regarding safety, food supply, Walkability etc.

I the us, the issue with being poor/downwardly mobile isn’t that you can’t buy material things like wealthier people can.

It is that you end up getting stuck in awful neighborhoods/schools that are just more dangerous and unpleasant in day to day life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Downward mobility. It’s brutal. It’s not even about what you do or don’t have, it’s knowing what you’re missing.

One thing I’ve noticed is that it hits white gentiles way more than Asians or Jews.

Hispanics and blacks seem in general to be upwardly mobile.

Jews and Asians maintain or are above or slightly below.

White gentile parents definitely don’t talk to their kids seriously about downward mobility risks like Jewish and Asian parents do and it shows years later

They do too. WTF are you talking about? Sounds more like some bigoted dig.

No. Not really. This actually came up in the school and teens sub-forum before when some other op (who was an immigrant) why white umc locals didn’t push their kids and were cool with them coasting

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In the 2020s I think you will start to see an acceleration of downwardly mobile whites move to Europe.

Earning 1500 euros a month in a small walkable town in Italy (like Verona) is “nicer” than being lmc/working poor in the USA.

Yes, because Europe will gladly open up their borders for these people.

Yes, with their declining birthrates, they will be happy to open their borders to white, Christian educated Americans, especially those who have ancestral roots on those countries.

Yep