Do you ever regret not marrying for the "lifestyle"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No I don’t. I read that “what’s it like to have a happy marriage” thread and I don’t know how life would have been different had I married somebody else, but I know for sure that I have a happy marriage with my husband and that’s all that matters.

But you should recognize that your situation is common as a result of both Boomer political policies and the fact that Boomers don’t have enough money to retire. Yes, some Gen. Xers and millennials have made it but your situation is the norm. This is the economy, not you or your husband.

Those generalizations are so weird. All the boomers I know are retired. The ones that aren't it's because either they love their job or they don't want to be at home with their retired spouse all the time. I'm a retired boomer and I never made more than 60K in my life and for the first ten years of married life I was a SAHM. My exH is retired and he was a house painter. We are both living happy retirement lives. I'm pretty sure you are not the expert on boomers, politics, the economy, retirement or anything else.

[Anonymous]

I think most people would prefer being wealthy, doesn't matter if its by inheritance, marriage, work, lottery or whatever. What they don't know is that wealth (after a certain basic standard) has little to do with having a content and happy life. If they got it, tgey'll be watching shing for something else.

[Anonymous]

*wishing for

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Maybe you're not hot enough to marry a guy who makes that kind of money, so it was never going to happen and there's no point in regretting it.

Meh, I’ve noticed that a lot of rich guys, even hot ones, are married to plain women.

The common thing I’ve noticed if the women were plain were that they came from wealthy or hyper connected families.

Lot of plain looking daughters of politicians, judges etc have wealthy husbands who could do better

This. There are surprisingly few stunning wives in wealthier social circles.

This is very true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Downward mobility. It’s brutal. It’s not even about what you do or don’t have, it’s knowing what you’re missing.

One thing I’ve noticed is that it hits white gentiles way more than Asians or Jews.

Hispanics and blacks seem in general to be upwardly mobile.

Jews and Asians maintain or are above or slightly below.

White gentile parents definitely don’t talk to their kids seriously about downward mobility risks like Jewish and Asian parents do and it shows years later

They do too. WTF are you talking about? Sounds more like some bigoted dig.

No. Not really. This actually came up in the school and teens sub-forum before when some other op (who was an immigrant) why white umc locals didn’t push their kids and were cool with them coasting

I'm Jewish. Generally speaking, immigrants of all ethnicities likely have an overrepresented genetic predisposition to be more restless, less satisfied with the status quo and a greater willingness to take risks. This is a great fitness payoff in the larger, evolutionary context, but has plenty of drawbacks at the personal level. Until these populations experience a high enough degree of genetic assimilation (which for non-orthodox U.S. Jews will likely happen within the next couple of generations if it hasn't happened already), you're going to more easily identify these sorts of differences between groups. I don't think it's fundamentally bigoted to notice and try to explain differences between ethnic groups if you can do it dispassionately, but humans aren't great at this b/c we are a status-obsessed species.

This has been happening with jews.

In fact, there have been several jewish journalists discussing the downward mobility they’ve personally experienced.

[Anonymous]

https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2022/08/downward-economic-mobility-boomer-generation-x-debt/671260/

written by a jewish american.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think most people would prefer being wealthy, doesn't matter if its by inheritance, marriage, work, lottery or whatever. What they don't know is that wealth (after a certain basic standard) has little to do with having a content and happy life. If they got it, tgey'll be watching shing for something else.

Sorry, OP didn’t deserve wealthy, they described comfortable and having a pretty basic minimum wealth is important to a happy life. I didn’t believe that when I was younger, but have seen realized how much harder it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I divorced my rich H for a man who actually loved me for me.

Then I found out he was also a cheater. Now that I know all men lie and cheat, I wish I had just stayed with the rich one. At least I didn’t have to work and I could buy whatever I wanted.

Maybe you should choose better men 😀

PP. With the Internet, it’s ALL men. They will all solicit pictures from women, send pictures, sext, whatever. It’s now so easy to hide I don’t think any man will remain faithful.

NP. Sorry you’ve been burned but you are deluding yourself. Of course all men aren’t cheaters and liars and I think deep down you know that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2022/08/downward-economic-mobility-boomer-generation-x-debt/671260/

written by a jewish american.

Yep, you're right and I agree with his overall argument but he neglects to mention a really critical component of his success--social capital. His father was extremely well connected and Larry King was like an uncle to him. But the breakdown of the American Dream isn't just a reflection in the rise of the costs of goods and services but also the breakdown of community and social connections. Lacking these connections, even on a less exalted scale as the author's, is a huge liability for the majority of humans.

So to get closer to what this thread was actually about, part of avoiding downward mobility in mate selection includes not only intellect and career prospects, but the willingness to integrate yourself and your family into communities that can help and provide social support along the way. Immigrants tend to have this. We live in such an individually minded society that this is easily forgotten.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe you're not hot enough to marry a guy who makes that kind of money, so it was never going to happen and there's no point in regretting it.

Meh, I’ve noticed that a lot of rich guys, even hot ones, are married to plain women.

The common thing I’ve noticed if the women were plain were that they came from wealthy or hyper connected families.

Lot of plain looking daughters of politicians, judges etc have wealthy husbands who could do better

This. There are surprisingly few stunning wives in wealthier social circles.

Funny, from what I’ve seen, most millionaires’ wives look like the “Middle Class” wife.

[Anonymous]

Op - many many of us don’t have the life we imagined. I can afford many things I like but bc I have worked basically every hour of the day to crawl the career ladder bc dh wasn’t succeeding in doing so (and bc I guess why not me?)

I know you didn’t ask but I love the hearth and hand collab with target for furniture and also tj maxx has wonderful stuff. Furniture doesn’t have to cost a ton to be chic and pretty

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe you're not hot enough to marry a guy who makes that kind of money, so it was never going to happen and there's no point in regretting it.

Meh, I’ve noticed that a lot of rich guys, even hot ones, are married to plain women.

The common thing I’ve noticed if the women were plain were that they came from wealthy or hyper connected families.

Lot of plain looking daughters of politicians, judges etc have wealthy husbands who could do better

This. There are surprisingly few stunning wives in wealthier social circles.

This is very true.

My wife is stunning. She knows it but isn't a jerk about, she's very humble.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe you're not hot enough to marry a guy who makes that kind of money, so it was never going to happen and there's no point in regretting it.

Meh, I’ve noticed that a lot of rich guys, even hot ones, are married to plain women.

The common thing I’ve noticed if the women were plain were that they came from wealthy or hyper connected families.

Lot of plain looking daughters of politicians, judges etc have wealthy husbands who could do better

This. There are surprisingly few stunning wives in wealthier social circles.

This is very true.

My wife is stunning. She knows it but isn't a jerk about, she's very humble.

Educated, smart people like beauty too, but they aren’t drawn to the Kardashian or Real Housewives cartoonish and flashy look. We are wealthy and the women tend to be very fit, athletic, slim and have a natural pretty look. They don’t wear cartoonish false eyelashes have boob and butt implants, giant blowfish lips and heavy drag make up.

Many lie class people think these women are plain or not pretty because they like the trash look.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe you're not hot enough to marry a guy who makes that kind of money, so it was never going to happen and there's no point in regretting it.

Meh, I’ve noticed that a lot of rich guys, even hot ones, are married to plain women.

The common thing I’ve noticed if the women were plain were that they came from wealthy or hyper connected families.

Lot of plain looking daughters of politicians, judges etc have wealthy husbands who could do better

This. There are surprisingly few stunning wives in wealthier social circles.

This is very true.

My wife is stunning. She knows it but isn't a jerk about, she's very humble.

Educated, smart people like beauty too, but they aren’t drawn to the Kardashian or Real Housewives cartoonish and flashy look. We are wealthy and the women tend to be very fit, athletic, slim and have a natural pretty look. They don’t wear cartoonish false eyelashes have boob and butt implants, giant blowfish lips and heavy drag make up.

Many lie class people think these women are plain or not pretty because they like the trash look.

Nice try, but there are naturally beautiful women don’t look fake and are well above just “slim,” “fit,” and athletic, and the rich men still seem to choose to marry the plain ones.

[Anonymous]

The trick is to marry someone you love who you know has potential. I didn't know this at the time, but in retrospect, I can see now that you have to snag such a man in college or your very young twenties when you are still at the height of your youth/beauty. Pick a guy who has great earning potential (> 500k) and who you could also love.