Do you ever regret not marrying for the "lifestyle"?

[Anonymous]

You need to change your mindset on wealth creation. You can get what you want but not if you think marrying a rich guy is the only way. I get so frustrated with women that think a guy is a financial plan. You also have income earning potential. It’s not exactly equal given that men earn more for the same jobs. But you you need to stop messing around in your low paid job and work out how to increase your income. Go to night school and get some training. There are so many ways.

[Anonymous]

Make the money you want.

Why is this on your spouse?

[Anonymous]

I'm surprised how obsessed people here are with money, as if its the only resource for a meaningful life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm surprised how obsessed people here are with money, as if its the only resource for a meaningful life.

It’s because we are in a very high cost of living area, surrounded by wealth, so it feels like you can’t keep up when really they are doing fine. Op could be living in any other city and not feel bad at all. Op, you should move.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm surprised how obsessed people here are with money, as if its the only resource for a meaningful life.

It’s because we are in a very high cost of living area, surrounded by wealth, so it feels like you can’t keep up when really they are doing fine. Op could be living in any other city and not feel bad at all. Op, you should move.

Agreed. We have friends who moved to Baltimore and bought a 5 bedroom home. The commute was only another 20 min or so. They did stop socializing in DC regularly, but that may also be because they could finally afford kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Make the money you want.

Why is this on your spouse?

This. I mean, what’s the issue beyond this?

[Anonymous]

My kid finished college and got a job. They will stay for 3 years at home with us so that they can leave home with at least 150K saved.

[Anonymous]

Nobody ever says "Well, now that I have some nice furniture I will spend the next several decades basking in my sense of accomplishment."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe you're not hot enough to marry a guy who makes that kind of money, so it was never going to happen and there's no point in regretting it.

What kind of money? You can live that life on 200k a year. Ask me how I know...
OP and her spouse can easily make 100k each if that lifestyle is their priority.

A nursing degree is 1.5 years away from a bachelors in another subject. You are guaranteed 100k in income with a nursing degree.

And you can actually work while pursuing that.

If the lifestyle is your priority go back and get a nursing degree.

My family is full of nurses. They all have that lifestyle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Make the money you want.

Why is this on your spouse?

This. I mean, what’s the issue beyond this?

Exactly. And I don’t understand why OP can’t decorate for the holidays…??

[Anonymous]

No I don’t. I read that “what’s it like to have a happy marriage” thread and I don’t know how life would have been different had I married somebody else, but I know for sure that I have a happy marriage with my husband and that’s all that matters.

But you should recognize that your situation is common as a result of both Boomer political policies and the fact that Boomers don’t have enough money to retire. Yes, some Gen. Xers and millennials have made it but your situation is the norm. This is the economy, not you or your husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm surprised how obsessed people here are with money, as if its the only resource for a meaningful life.

It’s because we are in a very high cost of living area, surrounded by wealth, so it feels like you can’t keep up when really they are doing fine. Op could be living in any other city and not feel bad at all. Op, you should move.

Agreed. We have friends who moved to Baltimore and bought a 5 bedroom home. The commute was only another 20 min or so. They did stop socializing in DC regularly, but that may also be because they could finally afford kids.

NP. I was just about to say…come to my neighborhood in the Baltimore suburbs! SFH, two cars, nice big yard for our kids, great neighbors, and the house is all decked out for Christmas. And we don’t even make all that much money.

[Anonymous]

Desire is pain.

[Anonymous]

Regret, no. But sometimes I wonder what that would have been like to either marry rich or choose a more lucrative career path. I didn't grow up with it, though, so it's not as hard not to have all the nice things.

Also, my friends who did end up in that lifestyle aren't any happier, necessarily. And their conversations are boring, like which airport lounges have the best perks or real estate trends. I don't think their trips are necessarily more fun than backpacking around Europe on a shoestring was. They jump through more hoops to live richly the "right" way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NOVA changed too. It used to be very middle class. Now it's UMC and expensive. Many MC folks have left the beltway entirely.

x10000

Grew up here and back in the 80 and even the early 90s I too thought like the OP but then land available to build began to shrink and land and housing costs shot up.