Middle-aged single men: what are you relationships with 20-something women like?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know woman in there 20s that can have much more intellectual conversations than most woman in their 40s. And I know woman in their 40's that can put most 20 somethings to shame in the bedroom.

Stop trying to paint picture based on the ages of ADULTS, paint a picture of individuals.

Yes, but generally speaking: youth is beauty and there is absolutely no competing with its fresh magic. And as many have noted, a young woman in her 20s is happy and optimistic (because she is not yet a caretaker.) Again generalizing, but women in their 40s are far more likely to know their body and how to unleash its orgasmic potential. For some men, this is probably not a bonus.

😂😂😂😂😂😂 Older woman coping again.

Younger woman here.

"63 per cent of women aged over 45 are orgasming every sexual encounter. This compares to just 36 per cent of women aged 18 to 25. "
https://www.menshealth.com.au/age-women-have-the-most-orgasms/

See! The younger women should date okder guys!

[Anonymous]

Men will listen to younger women and be more interested in socializing with them because they are more attractive; its science

There are many scientific studies that show attractiveness is very important in social interactions

[Anonymous]

I am a woman in my 50s and fully admit that I was probably more intellectually stimulating in my 20s/30s because I had time to read more, and wasn't wasting time on social media

[Anonymous]

I’ve posted a few times in this thread and I don’t plan to change from the age range I date. I’m 42 and find it extremely easy to date attractive women aged 22-26, but know that perhaps in 3-5 years I won’t be able to. Will reassess then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I dated a very wealthy late 40s man when I was in my late 20s in law school. I got the sense he was looking for escapism and was uninterested in a woman who was focused on her career and his intellectual equal. Nice guy but only looking to escape his middle-aged life. I then dated a man in his early 40s who was much more of a match, but also in essential ways just looking to escape his middle-age responsibilities.

Anyway any man in his 40s dating an undergrad clearly has issues. At least I had already lived a lot and knew how to take care of myself. A 19 yr old is almost a child.

Especially today's 19 yr olds. I keep hearing stories about college freshman who don't know how to do laundry...and agree, it's about middle aged men seeking a last gasp at being young again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:just posted in another SB/sd related thread

"i'm m/48/divorced with two young kids/no intent to marry (at least for another 10yrs lol) and have been a SD for several years now (sexless marriage before the D)

AMA!"

anyway to answer the OP question ... a LOT of 20s young girls who are SB acutally have plenty of stuff in common and tons and tons to talk about. why is this even a question? books, movies, music, travel, food, politics, religion the list is endless. most of the SB i have dated are from either GW, American or G'town so it is not like dating uneducated bimbos. the beauty of the relationship is that these young girls are developing interests, have ideals, dreams, and more often than not have a life outlook that is not "tainted" by too much negative life experience. i find the conversations (before and after the sex) to be quite fun actually. all my SB and I go out on regular dates too like movies, restaurants and shit. One of them I have taken with me overseas five times for fun vacations (sex filled, fun filled and yes conversation filled as well)

it seems only the frumpy 40+ hags of DC would even ask a stupid question like this.

so basically you take advantage of immature 20 year olds because you can’t handle women your own age. PS: the 20 year olds think you’re gross and sketchy.

Well, the mature ones think that. The immature ones, like I was, felt flattered, because we didn't realize what the hell was going on and how gross these men were.

+1. and the sex was inevitably bad with the gross men, no?

Ha yes it was terrible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In my early 20s I dated several men in their late 30s and early 40s.
What do we talk about? Men love to talk about themselves, so I learned a lot of career advice, investing advice, how to order wine at fancy restaurants, how to work a room and network at their corporate events. I got a glimpse of my life 15 years in the future and it served me well early in my career.
What do you do besides dinner and sex? Go to the movies and concerts, go hiking, go to a winery or a museum. All the things I did on dates with men my own age.
Do they hang out with your friends? No. You can take a 24 yr old to a cocktail party, but you can’t take a man with gray hair to a kegger.

I never dated guys with kids, so they were more like the Peter Pan types who haven’t settled down. It’s fun when you also don’t want to settle down. Once I was ready to get married, I dated guys my own age.

I'm married to an older man (10 yr difference) and my younger friends never felt fully comfortable with DH. It sucks also because the women married to his friends viewed me as a threat, in some respects, so it has been hard to find couples to hang out with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I don't think I have a low opinion of women in their 20s. Generally, our babysitters are college and grad students. Some are quite mature, and I like many of them. But I can't imagine having more than an occasional conversation with them that doesn't feel like parent/child or mentor/mentee. The interests, the naivete ... so much just doesn't seem to match up to someone who's been an independent, professional adult for 20 years and a parent, to boot. But thanks for the responses. Interesting. one thing that seems clear is that even when there is conversation, it's not enough to build a strong relationship. They still fade out after a few months, at best.

NP here, a woman. I agree with you, and it betrays a certain misogyny on the part of these men that they admire that naivete and unfounded optimism. They think they're defending the intellects of these young women, when in fact they're insulting them by admiring women at their least intellectually evolved state.

I think it betrays misogyny on the part of women who resent younger women, TBH.

I don't think any of us resent these young women. Well, I don't anyway. I think the whole thing sounds sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my early 20s I dated several men in their late 30s and early 40s.
What do we talk about? Men love to talk about themselves, so I learned a lot of career advice, investing advice, how to order wine at fancy restaurants, how to work a room and network at their corporate events. I got a glimpse of my life 15 years in the future and it served me well early in my career.
What do you do besides dinner and sex? Go to the movies and concerts, go hiking, go to a winery or a museum. All the things I did on dates with men my own age.
Do they hang out with your friends? No. You can take a 24 yr old to a cocktail party, but you can’t take a man with gray hair to a kegger.

I never dated guys with kids, so they were more like the Peter Pan types who haven’t settled down. It’s fun when you also don’t want to settle down. Once I was ready to get married, I dated guys my own age.

I'm married to an older man (10 yr difference) and my younger friends never felt fully comfortable with DH. It sucks also because the women married to his friends viewed me as a threat, in some respects, so it has been hard to find couples to hang out with.

This part of an age-gap relationship got better for me over time but I still have more girlfriends and few couple friends, although I think I like it better this way. I fell for an older man in my twenties because I had just gotten out of a relationship with someone my own age who was extremely irresponsible and immature and it felt great to be with someone who was literally the exact opposite: established, organized, emotionally mature, dependable, and also objectively looks much younger than his age, even now. At the time and even now I downplayed our age difference because of how I feel with him. He also wasn't serially dating younger women nor was I serially dating older men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I don't think I have a low opinion of women in their 20s. Generally, our babysitters are college and grad students. Some are quite mature, and I like many of them. But I can't imagine having more than an occasional conversation with them that doesn't feel like parent/child or mentor/mentee. The interests, the naivete ... so much just doesn't seem to match up to someone who's been an independent, professional adult for 20 years and a parent, to boot. But thanks for the responses. Interesting. one thing that seems clear is that even when there is conversation, it's not enough to build a strong relationship. They still fade out after a few months, at best.

NP here, a woman. I agree with you, and it betrays a certain misogyny on the part of these men that they admire that naivete and unfounded optimism. They think they're defending the intellects of these young women, when in fact they're insulting them by admiring women at their least intellectually evolved state.

I think it betrays misogyny on the part of women who resent younger women, TBH.

I don't think any of us resent these young women. Well, I don't anyway. I think the whole thing sounds sad.

I’m very aware I’m a brief, month to two-month fling in these women’s life before they go on to date and eventually marry men their own age. I treat everyone with kindness and respect. It’s not sad for them or for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my early 20s I dated several men in their late 30s and early 40s.
What do we talk about? Men love to talk about themselves, so I learned a lot of career advice, investing advice, how to order wine at fancy restaurants, how to work a room and network at their corporate events. I got a glimpse of my life 15 years in the future and it served me well early in my career.
What do you do besides dinner and sex? Go to the movies and concerts, go hiking, go to a winery or a museum. All the things I did on dates with men my own age.
Do they hang out with your friends? No. You can take a 24 yr old to a cocktail party, but you can’t take a man with gray hair to a kegger.

I never dated guys with kids, so they were more like the Peter Pan types who haven’t settled down. It’s fun when you also don’t want to settle down. Once I was ready to get married, I dated guys my own age.

I'm married to an older man (10 yr difference) and my younger friends never felt fully comfortable with DH. It sucks also because the women married to his friends viewed me as a threat, in some respects, so it has been hard to find couples to hang out with.

This part of an age-gap relationship got better for me over time but I still have more girlfriends and few couple friends, although I think I like it better this way. I fell for an older man in my twenties because I had just gotten out of a relationship with someone my own age who was extremely irresponsible and immature and it felt great to be with someone who was literally the exact opposite: established, organized, emotionally mature, dependable, and also objectively looks much younger than his age, even now. At the time and even now I downplayed our age difference because of how I feel with him. He also wasn't serially dating younger women nor was I serially dating older men.

You're lucky. Problem is when your friends prefer couple activities and there is awkwardness with your DH due to age. I have ended up kind of lonely as a result. In this post-pandemic time, I'm making a concerted effort to create my own social life. I wish my DH and I had more couple socializing options, and I am still trying to make that happen more than it does. Wish I could view it as positively as you do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my early 20s I dated several men in their late 30s and early 40s.
What do we talk about? Men love to talk about themselves, so I learned a lot of career advice, investing advice, how to order wine at fancy restaurants, how to work a room and network at their corporate events. I got a glimpse of my life 15 years in the future and it served me well early in my career.
What do you do besides dinner and sex? Go to the movies and concerts, go hiking, go to a winery or a museum. All the things I did on dates with men my own age.
Do they hang out with your friends? No. You can take a 24 yr old to a cocktail party, but you can’t take a man with gray hair to a kegger.

I never dated guys with kids, so they were more like the Peter Pan types who haven’t settled down. It’s fun when you also don’t want to settle down. Once I was ready to get married, I dated guys my own age.

I'm married to an older man (10 yr difference) and my younger friends never felt fully comfortable with DH. It sucks also because the women married to his friends viewed me as a threat, in some respects, so it has been hard to find couples to hang out with.

This part of an age-gap relationship got better for me over time but I still have more girlfriends and few couple friends, although I think I like it better this way. I fell for an older man in my twenties because I had just gotten out of a relationship with someone my own age who was extremely irresponsible and immature and it felt great to be with someone who was literally the exact opposite: established, organized, emotionally mature, dependable, and also objectively looks much younger than his age, even now. At the time and even now I downplayed our age difference because of how I feel with him. He also wasn't serially dating younger women nor was I serially dating older men.

You're lucky. Problem is when your friends prefer couple activities and there is awkwardness with your DH due to age. I have ended up kind of lonely as a result. In this post-pandemic time, I'm making a concerted effort to create my own social life. I wish my DH and I had more couple socializing options, and I am still trying to make that happen more than it does. Wish I could view it as positively as you do.

I'm the PP and I definitely still relate. I have felt depressed about not having couples friends at different times. We have some couple friends, but those friendships are shallow and usually more work-related than social. We don't vacation with other families, for example. I have worked over the past few years to make more girlfriends who share my interests - book club, running group, friends that I play other sports with, connecting with friends from school for girls' trips, and sister/mom trips. DH also tries really hard to hang with people closer to my age since those are the age of our kids' friends parents, and they are open to it but I don't see them forming close bonds. We recently bought a boat and tried to go out once a week with another couple or family all summer, which was fun and I hope it built up some social capital.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my early 20s I dated several men in their late 30s and early 40s.
What do we talk about? Men love to talk about themselves, so I learned a lot of career advice, investing advice, how to order wine at fancy restaurants, how to work a room and network at their corporate events. I got a glimpse of my life 15 years in the future and it served me well early in my career.
What do you do besides dinner and sex? Go to the movies and concerts, go hiking, go to a winery or a museum. All the things I did on dates with men my own age.
Do they hang out with your friends? No. You can take a 24 yr old to a cocktail party, but you can’t take a man with gray hair to a kegger.

I never dated guys with kids, so they were more like the Peter Pan types who haven’t settled down. It’s fun when you also don’t want to settle down. Once I was ready to get married, I dated guys my own age.

I'm married to an older man (10 yr difference) and my younger friends never felt fully comfortable with DH. It sucks also because the women married to his friends viewed me as a threat, in some respects, so it has been hard to find couples to hang out with.

This part of an age-gap relationship got better for me over time but I still have more girlfriends and few couple friends, although I think I like it better this way. I fell for an older man in my twenties because I had just gotten out of a relationship with someone my own age who was extremely irresponsible and immature and it felt great to be with someone who was literally the exact opposite: established, organized, emotionally mature, dependable, and also objectively looks much younger than his age, even now. At the time and even now I downplayed our age difference because of how I feel with him. He also wasn't serially dating younger women nor was I serially dating older men.

You're lucky. Problem is when your friends prefer couple activities and there is awkwardness with your DH due to age. I have ended up kind of lonely as a result. In this post-pandemic time, I'm making a concerted effort to create my own social life. I wish my DH and I had more couple socializing options, and I am still trying to make that happen more than it does. Wish I could view it as positively as you do.

What about his friends and their wives? My DH is in his 40s (I am late 20s) and because most moms in this area are older, I end up with a lot of friends older than me. Without my kid I look really young but in the context of being a mom and my level at work, I pass for early 30s usually, and DH looks younger, so a lot of our friends are ~35-37 and assume we are both that age, too.

[Anonymous]

As a woman who has long term dated a much younger man (started me very early 40s to his very late 20s), there are definitely references we don't share, but it's also pretty cool to learn about things that you don't know about. My worldview was enlarged. I like his friends and find they are a lot more interesting than most of the gen-xers I know. That's for various reasons, but maybe partly because my generation settled down earlier. But they also make me feel old sometimes...especially the older I get. His friends are generally in their early 30s now, but a lot were mid twenties when I met them, and I found them smart and fun to talk to--but they know things I don't, and I also have experiences they have yet to have and so therefore don't understand. They are fun to be around because they aren't jaded and tired yet.

I'm guessing it's pretty similar? I'm not a guy. But not all young people are stupid. In fact, I think as we age, people tend to stop being as interesting and get mired in patterns--including myself. My BF and I have a lot of things in common, as much as we don't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a woman who has long term dated a much younger man (started me very early 40s to his very late 20s), there are definitely references we don't share, but it's also pretty cool to learn about things that you don't know about. My worldview was enlarged. I like his friends and find they are a lot more interesting than most of the gen-xers I know. That's for various reasons, but maybe partly because my generation settled down earlier. But they also make me feel old sometimes...especially the older I get. His friends are generally in their early 30s now, but a lot were mid twenties when I met them, and I found them smart and fun to talk to--but they know things I don't, and I also have experiences they have yet to have and so therefore don't understand. They are fun to be around because they aren't jaded and tired yet.

I'm guessing it's pretty similar? I'm not a guy. But not all young people are stupid. In fact, I think as we age, people tend to stop being as interesting and get mired in patterns--including myself. My BF and I have a lot of things in common, as much as we don't.

Man here who dates younger and your experience matched mine.