Middle-aged single men: what are you relationships with 20-something women like?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know woman in there 20s that can have much more intellectual conversations than most woman in their 40s. And I know woman in their 40's that can put most 20 somethings to shame in the bedroom.

Stop trying to paint picture based on the ages of ADULTS, paint a picture of individuals.

Eh. They are having sex. They are having “intellectual” conversations but without the understanding of life experience, like you would do with your kids. I have intellectual conversations with my 11 year old, but they are not the conversations of an equal with an equal understanding of ideals vs reality. Is it intellectual sure. Is it the same? No.

That said, a man can feel that fatherly feelings put him more in control of the relationship, but a woman does not ever want to be a mother to another person and this is why women typically don’t seriously date younger men.

If you want to seriously compare two adults with degrees and careers in conversation it to you talking to your 11yo child, that I believe that you and your child are even more equal conversations than you think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know woman in there 20s that can have much more intellectual conversations than most woman in their 40s. And I know woman in their 40's that can put most 20 somethings to shame in the bedroom.

Stop trying to paint picture based on the ages of ADULTS, paint a picture of individuals.

Eh. They are having sex. They are having “intellectual” conversations but without the understanding of life experience, like you would do with your kids. I have intellectual conversations with my 11 year old, but they are not the conversations of an equal with an equal understanding of ideals vs reality. Is it intellectual sure. Is it the same? No.

That said, a man can feel that fatherly feelings put him more in control of the relationship, but a woman does not ever want to be a mother to another person and this is why women typically don’t seriously date younger men.

If you want to seriously compare two adults with degrees and careers in conversation it to you talking to your 11yo child, that I believe that you and your child are even more equal conversations than you think.

Right- so that hit a nerve and you now feel the need to insult.
That definitely improves your point. Insults always do!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know woman in there 20s that can have much more intellectual conversations than most woman in their 40s. And I know woman in their 40's that can put most 20 somethings to shame in the bedroom.

Stop trying to paint picture based on the ages of ADULTS, paint a picture of individuals.

Eh. They are having sex. They are having “intellectual” conversations but without the understanding of life experience, like you would do with your kids. I have intellectual conversations with my 11 year old, but they are not the conversations of an equal with an equal understanding of ideals vs reality. Is it intellectual sure. Is it the same? No.

That said, a man can feel that fatherly feelings put him more in control of the relationship, but a woman does not ever want to be a mother to another person and this is why women typically don’t seriously date younger men.

If you want to seriously compare two adults with degrees and careers in conversation it to you talking to your 11yo child, that I believe that you and your child are even more equal conversations than you think.

Right- so that hit a nerve and you now feel the need to insult.
That definitely improves your point. Insults always do!

It didn’t hit a nerve and wasn’t an insult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know woman in there 20s that can have much more intellectual conversations than most woman in their 40s. And I know woman in their 40's that can put most 20 somethings to shame in the bedroom.

Stop trying to paint picture based on the ages of ADULTS, paint a picture of individuals.

Eh. They are having sex. They are having “intellectual” conversations but without the understanding of life experience, like you would do with your kids. I have intellectual conversations with my 11 year old, but they are not the conversations of an equal with an equal understanding of ideals vs reality. Is it intellectual sure. Is it the same? No.

That said, a man can feel that fatherly feelings put him more in control of the relationship, but a woman does not ever want to be a mother to another person and this is why women typically don’t seriously date younger men.

If you want to seriously compare two adults with degrees and careers in conversation it to you talking to your 11yo child, that I believe that you and your child are even more equal conversations than you think.

Right- so that hit a nerve and you now feel the need to insult.
That definitely improves your point. Insults always do!

It didn’t hit a nerve and wasn’t an insult.

Good thing you don’t date old married women like me then- we misunderstand each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know woman in there 20s that can have much more intellectual conversations than most woman in their 40s. And I know woman in their 40's that can put most 20 somethings to shame in the bedroom.

Stop trying to paint picture based on the ages of ADULTS, paint a picture of individuals.

Eh. They are having sex. They are having “intellectual” conversations but without the understanding of life experience, like you would do with your kids. I have intellectual conversations with my 11 year old, but they are not the conversations of an equal with an equal understanding of ideals vs reality. Is it intellectual sure. Is it the same? No.

That said, a man can feel that fatherly feelings put him more in control of the relationship, but a woman does not ever want to be a mother to another person and this is why women typically don’t seriously date younger men.

There is nothing better than having a beautiful young woman who is glass eyed and positive about the world. One who has youthful enthusiasm. I’ll take that or a older and wiser cynic any day.

[Anonymous]

OP is really selling women in their 20s short. OP was one of those at one point too I assume. Were you boring and couldn't keep up a conversation then?

There's plenty to talk about -- not everything has to be a cultural reference, and it's possible to learn from each other about what was popular to each generation anyway. It's fun to learn new things.

[Anonymous]

Think of sitcoms from MTM to The Office. There is always mutual give and take between people with significant age gaps. So why not IRL?

[Anonymous]

LOL as always a thread that asks men for their opinion is dominated by women explaining what men’s opinions should be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:LOL as always a thread that asks men for their opinion is dominated by women explaining what men’s opinions should be.

I’m confused everyone is agreeing that men see women in their 20s as beautiful companions who discuss deep topics with starry eyed youthful enthusiasm without grounding in ageist/cynical reality. All the men have agreed with OP, but just used different language to describe the same thing. How is this telling men what their opinion should be?

[Anonymous]

just posted in another SB/sd related thread

"i'm m/48/divorced with two young kids/no intent to marry (at least for another 10yrs lol) and have been a SD for several years now (sexless marriage before the D)

AMA!"

anyway to answer the OP question ... a LOT of 20s young girls who are SB acutally have plenty of stuff in common and tons and tons to talk about. why is this even a question? books, movies, music, travel, food, politics, religion the list is endless. most of the SB i have dated are from either GW, American or G'town so it is not like dating uneducated bimbos. the beauty of the relationship is that these young girls are developing interests, have ideals, dreams, and more often than not have a life outlook that is not "tainted" by too much negative life experience. i find the conversations (before and after the sex) to be quite fun actually. all my SB and I go out on regular dates too like movies, restaurants and shit. One of them I have taken with me overseas five times for fun vacations (sex filled, fun filled and yes conversation filled as well)

it seems only the frumpy 40+ hags of DC would even ask a stupid question like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know woman in there 20s that can have much more intellectual conversations than most woman in their 40s. And I know woman in their 40's that can put most 20 somethings to shame in the bedroom.

Stop trying to paint picture based on the ages of ADULTS, paint a picture of individuals.

Yes, but generally speaking: youth is beauty and there is absolutely no competing with its fresh magic. And as many have noted, a young woman in her 20s is happy and optimistic (because she is not yet a caretaker.) Again generalizing, but women in their 40s are far more likely to know their body and how to unleash its orgasmic potential. For some men, this is probably not a bonus.

[Anonymous]

I'm late 50s. A year ago I was dating someone a dozen years younger, and I liked that. Since the breakup I've ended up sleeping with several mid- and late-20s women. One of them didn't become a girlfriend, or a FWB, but she had become a really close platonic friend. We have similar interests and challenges in life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm late 50s. A year ago I was dating someone a dozen years younger, and I liked that. Since the breakup I've ended up sleeping with several mid- and late-20s women. One of them didn't become a girlfriend, or a FWB, but she had become a really close platonic friend. We have similar interests and challenges in life.

How does a 50-something man meet women in the 20's and get them to be interested in going out with the older, perhaps not fully sexually-functional, kind? This is a serious question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm late 50s. A year ago I was dating someone a dozen years younger, and I liked that. Since the breakup I've ended up sleeping with several mid- and late-20s women. One of them didn't become a girlfriend, or a FWB, but she had become a really close platonic friend. We have similar interests and challenges in life.

How does a 50-something man meet women in the 20's and get them to be interested in going out with the older, perhaps not fully sexually-functional, kind? This is a serious question.

On dating websites just mention pampering: swanky dinners, weekends away, shopping for clothes and jewelry. Be generous and expansive with a sense of humor- do not be possessive, controlling or budget-conscious. Use Viagra and buy her a vibrator. Confidence is key. Expect these relationships to be short-lived.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I don't think I have a low opinion of women in their 20s. Generally, our babysitters are college and grad students. Some are quite mature, and I like many of them. But I can't imagine having more than an occasional conversation with them that doesn't feel like parent/child or mentor/mentee. The interests, the naivete ... so much just doesn't seem to match up to someone who's been an independent, professional adult for 20 years and a parent, to boot. But thanks for the responses. Interesting. one thing that seems clear is that even when there is conversation, it's not enough to build a strong relationship. They still fade out after a few months, at best.