Middle-aged single men: what are you relationships with 20-something women like?

[Anonymous]

When I was in my 20s I had a couple relationships like this with older men, and I found the age difference to be sexy and fun. But there was always something about it that bothered me, I felt that the only reason they were with me was my age, and vice versa.Not really the basis of a strong relationship. I ended up marrying someone around my age and I love that we have the same references, and are going through the same stages of life together. There’s something sweet about being the same age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a woman in my 50s and fully admit that I was probably more intellectually stimulating in my 20s/30s because I had time to read more, and wasn't wasting time on social media

Hahaha! I’m sorry, no. I spend a lot of time with highly intelligent early to mid 20s, and they are babies. You might *feel* that way, but 20-26 olds don’t even have a fully formed brain. Old guys say this because they are thinking with their d***s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a woman in my 50s and fully admit that I was probably more intellectually stimulating in my 20s/30s because I had time to read more, and wasn't wasting time on social media

Hahaha! I’m sorry, no. I spend a lot of time with highly intelligent early to mid 20s, and they are babies. You might *feel* that way, but 20-26 olds don’t even have a fully formed brain. Old guys say this because they are thinking with their d***s.

About take off for the weekend with my girlfriend, but it was fun participating in this thread and reading all the comments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a woman in my 50s and fully admit that I was probably more intellectually stimulating in my 20s/30s because I had time to read more, and wasn't wasting time on social media

Hahaha! I’m sorry, no. I spend a lot of time with highly intelligent early to mid 20s, and they are babies. You might *feel* that way, but 20-26 olds don’t even have a fully formed brain. Old guys say this because they are thinking with their d***s.

Gosh, I am a woman and I really think we need to stop with this nonsense. Older women are no more intellectually interesting or deep or valuable than younger women. I also feel like I was just as interesting when I was 23 as at 43. And my body was certainly better than, but I don’t care. Women should see their inherent value as not tied to either their age or how “intellectually stimulating“ they are. People have strong and meaningful relationships throughout their lives, and for all different reasons. I’m not at all threatened by older men going out with younger women. There is a lot of love to go around in the world, and people can find the relationship for them at any age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a woman in my 50s and fully admit that I was probably more intellectually stimulating in my 20s/30s because I had time to read more, and wasn't wasting time on social media

Hahaha! I’m sorry, no. I spend a lot of time with highly intelligent early to mid 20s, and they are babies. You might *feel* that way, but 20-26 olds don’t even have a fully formed brain. Old guys say this because they are thinking with their d***s.

Whatever. It doesn’t fit your morals. Change the law and turn the country into even more of a nanny state if you want to interfere in relationships between legally consenting adults.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a woman in my 50s and fully admit that I was probably more intellectually stimulating in my 20s/30s because I had time to read more, and wasn't wasting time on social media

Hahaha! I’m sorry, no. I spend a lot of time with highly intelligent early to mid 20s, and they are babies. You might *feel* that way, but 20-26 olds don’t even have a fully formed brain. Old guys say this because they are thinking with their d***s.

Gosh, I am a woman and I really think we need to stop with this nonsense. Older women are no more intellectually interesting or deep or valuable than younger women. I also feel like I was just as interesting when I was 23 as at 43. And my body was certainly better than, but I don’t care. Women should see their inherent value as not tied to either their age or how “intellectually stimulating“ they are. People have strong and meaningful relationships throughout their lives, and for all different reasons. I’m not at all threatened by older men going out with younger women. There is a lot of love to go around in the world, and people can find the relationship for them at any age.

If you don’t understand why people are skeptical about a 45 seeking out 20 yr olds because he finds them “less jaded” than women his own age … don’t know what to tell you. 99% of these guys are gross exploiters.

[Anonymous]

I'm 47, look 40, and get tons of looks from the 25-35 crowd.

And the women over 45 hate it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a woman who has long term dated a much younger man (started me very early 40s to his very late 20s), there are definitely references we don't share, but it's also pretty cool to learn about things that you don't know about. My worldview was enlarged. I like his friends and find they are a lot more interesting than most of the gen-xers I know. That's for various reasons, but maybe partly because my generation settled down earlier. But they also make me feel old sometimes...especially the older I get. His friends are generally in their early 30s now, but a lot were mid twenties when I met them, and I found them smart and fun to talk to--but they know things I don't, and I also have experiences they have yet to have and so therefore don't understand. They are fun to be around because they aren't jaded and tired yet.

I'm guessing it's pretty similar? I'm not a guy. But not all young people are stupid. In fact, I think as we age, people tend to stop being as interesting and get mired in patterns--including myself. My BF and I have a lot of things in common, as much as we don't.

Man here who dates younger and your experience matched mine.

Same. I find that the younger women dating me do it out of preference, whereas the older women dating me do it as they are less likely to attract (or be attracted to) younger men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm late 50s. A year ago I was dating someone a dozen years younger, and I liked that. Since the breakup I've ended up sleeping with several mid- and late-20s women. One of them didn't become a girlfriend, or a FWB, but she had become a really close platonic friend. We have similar interests and challenges in life.

How does a 50-something man meet women in the 20's and get them to be interested in going out with the older, perhaps not fully sexually-functional, kind? This is a serious question.

I meet them on Bumble and Hinge. I am fully functional, and highly skilled. But I am also old enough to not be completely controlled by my hormones. It's a good place to be. I'll also note I have a PhD and a semi-prominent job.

I can try to explain what the young women I met in the last year like about me: one just liked that I was older and affectionate. She was looking to settle down. She had a MS degree in science. The second was a computer scientist with a BS from an excellent university. She liked my wild, kinky side and the extravagant dates I could take her on. she is an amazing freak. The third woman became a friend. She is finishing a PhD in a scientific field and will have an amazing career. I think what she likes is that I am so interested in her life and her success and she says she appreciates my wisdom. Despite our age difference, we both face some of the same challenges in life right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a woman in my 50s and fully admit that I was probably more intellectually stimulating in my 20s/30s because I had time to read more, and wasn't wasting time on social media

Hahaha! I’m sorry, no. I spend a lot of time with highly intelligent early to mid 20s, and they are babies. You might *feel* that way, but 20-26 olds don’t even have a fully formed brain. Old guys say this because they are thinking with their d***s.

Shall we take away their right to vote also? Seems like they can't be trusted to make any decisions!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm late 50s. A year ago I was dating someone a dozen years younger, and I liked that. Since the breakup I've ended up sleeping with several mid- and late-20s women. One of them didn't become a girlfriend, or a FWB, but she had become a really close platonic friend. We have similar interests and challenges in life.

How does a 50-something man meet women in the 20's and get them to be interested in going out with the older, perhaps not fully sexually-functional, kind? This is a serious question.

I meet them on Bumble and Hinge. I am fully functional, and highly skilled. But I am also old enough to not be completely controlled by my hormones. It's a good place to be. I'll also note I have a PhD and a semi-prominent job.

I can try to explain what the young women I met in the last year like about me: one just liked that I was older and affectionate. She was looking to settle down. She had a MS degree in science. The second was a computer scientist with a BS from an excellent university. She liked my wild, kinky side and the extravagant dates I could take her on. she is an amazing freak. The third woman became a friend. She is finishing a PhD in a scientific field and will have an amazing career. I think what she likes is that I am so interested in her life and her success and she says she appreciates my wisdom. Despite our age difference, we both face some of the same challenges in life right now.

What a catch!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a woman in my 50s and fully admit that I was probably more intellectually stimulating in my 20s/30s because I had time to read more, and wasn't wasting time on social media

Hahaha! I’m sorry, no. I spend a lot of time with highly intelligent early to mid 20s, and they are babies. You might *feel* that way, but 20-26 olds don’t even have a fully formed brain. Old guys say this because they are thinking with their d***s.

Gosh, I am a woman and I really think we need to stop with this nonsense. Older women are no more intellectually interesting or deep or valuable than younger women. I also feel like I was just as interesting when I was 23 as at 43. And my body was certainly better than, but I don’t care. Women should see their inherent value as not tied to either their age or how “intellectually stimulating“ they are. People have strong and meaningful relationships throughout their lives, and for all different reasons. I’m not at all threatened by older men going out with younger women. There is a lot of love to go around in the world, and people can find the relationship for them at any age.

the intellectual stimulation part is a red herring. The issue is self-worth and boundaries. Older women know how to set boundaries and call men out on their BS. Younger women have a much much harder time with that not.

But I will say that PP does have a unique insight into the intellect of a 23yo v a 43yo. We probably thought we were much smarter than we actually were 20 years ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a woman in my 50s and fully admit that I was probably more intellectually stimulating in my 20s/30s because I had time to read more, and wasn't wasting time on social media

Hahaha! I’m sorry, no. I spend a lot of time with highly intelligent early to mid 20s, and they are babies. You might *feel* that way, but 20-26 olds don’t even have a fully formed brain. Old guys say this because they are thinking with their d***s.

Shall we take away their right to vote also? Seems like they can't be trusted to make any decisions!

No, but car insurance companies agree with neuroscientists that brains aren’t fully mature until 25-ish.

Honestly from my stand point go enjoy the young girls, but even when I was one of them and dated older I recognized that there was an imbalance of power and life experience that made it a short term fun relationship that wasn’t ever serious or even that intimate emotionally. I don’t think it was a bad dynamic, but ephemeral. The male posters here seem to be unable to call it what it is and are quite defensive about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would say that people in their 40s are actually less interesting when it comes to intellectual and stimulating conversations than adults in their 20s.

I have a niece in her 20s and I quite enjoy spending time with her. She is into many different things as she has the energy and enthusiasm that I once had but no longer do. She has travelled and goes to various art / music productions, she reads, she has an interest in certain political issues. She has a full time career that she is passionate about. She has been in 3 serious longish relationships. I think she is actually a far more interesting person to have conversations with than I am at this point in life!

I think age gap relationships can work if people have shared interests and a deep connection. Many aspects of life that create compatibility are not dependent on chronological age. Relationships at any age are a challenge so if you really click with someone I say go for it!

That's so odd to me. I mean, I definitely had stimulating intellectual conversations in my 20s, but I still have them now at 40.

I agree with the first poster of these two. When I was in my 20s, I was pretty interesting. And a very smart older woman thought so too.

Now that I'm in my 50s, I find some women in their 20s and 30s very interesting. Most of them are pretty dull, but the interesting ones exist, and the same thing was true when I myself was in my 20s. I have had plenty of interesting multi-day text conversations with young women, but I have not been successful in trying to meet them in person, with only a couple of exceptions that did not turn out very well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm late 50s. A year ago I was dating someone a dozen years younger, and I liked that. Since the breakup I've ended up sleeping with several mid- and late-20s women. One of them didn't become a girlfriend, or a FWB, but she had become a really close platonic friend. We have similar interests and challenges in life.

How does a 50-something man meet women in the 20's and get them to be interested in going out with the older, perhaps not fully sexually-functional, kind? This is a serious question.

I meet them on Bumble and Hinge. I am fully functional, and highly skilled. But I am also old enough to not be completely controlled by my hormones. It's a good place to be. I'll also note I have a PhD and a semi-prominent job.

I can try to explain what the young women I met in the last year like about me: one just liked that I was older and affectionate. She was looking to settle down. She had a MS degree in science. The second was a computer scientist with a BS from an excellent university. She liked my wild, kinky side and the extravagant dates I could take her on. she is an amazing freak. The third woman became a friend. She is finishing a PhD in a scientific field and will have an amazing career. I think what she likes is that I am so interested in her life and her success and she says she appreciates my wisdom. Despite our age difference, we both face some of the same challenges in life right now.

What a catch!

Why the sarcasm? I'm not the guy with a PhD and semin-prominent job, but I have no doubt that he actually is something of a catch. He seems to be having real relationships with smart women who are younger. Does anyone doubt that he would get plenty of interest from women his own age with good jobs and educations? He'd probably look like "a catch" to many of them.