30 year age gap between fiancé and myself

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Isn't love wonderful?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you Russian or Ukrainian or Slovakian?

She is from Uzbekistan but her parents spent a few years in the US at the time she was born, I'm guessing. She was not an "expat" in Uzbekustan was a native born abroad, or at least somebody from a very similar culture.

OP, go for it. It will be financially worth it. Based on your ( lack of) education and ambition your own earning potential is close to nil anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you Russian or Ukrainian or Slovakian?

She is from Uzbekistan but her parents spent a few years in the US at the time she was born, I'm guessing. She was not an "expat" in Uzbekustan was a native born abroad, or at least somebody from a very similar culture.

OP, go for it. It will be financially worth it. Based on your ( lack of) education and ambition your own earning potential is close to nil anyway.

Why so mean?

[Anonymous]

30 years is a lot. A whole generation. It will make it difficult eg to have friends in common.

[Anonymous]

Not a good life plan.

[Anonymous]

Very transparent and obvious troll.

[Anonymous]

Don’t do it. You’ll be stuck taking care of him by time you are 50, and you’ll likely start to resent him. My MIL went through this with my much older FIL. She regrets not paying attention to age.

[Anonymous]

Are you ok being widowed by 50/60 yrs old? Then possibly being alone the rest of your life? And having the years from 40-50 be with an old man? Most 40-50 year olds are still pretty active, most 70-80 yr olds are not. I wouldn’t be ok with guaranteeing this future for myself, but maybe you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

ninanoriella wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eh. It's not a bad idea. Marry an old guy with money, have a kid or two, and in ten years when he slows down and needs a nurse, you'll still be young enough to start over.

Is he rich enough to pay for a nurse or will OP have to be the caregiver.

When the man is 80, and probably needing some help, OP will be my age.. 50. I can tell you right now, that as a 50 yr old woman, in no way in h3ll would I want to take care of a husband who is as old as my father. I'd be taking care of both elderly men. Gag.. h3ll no.

OP may end up having to take care of her elderly husband and elderly parents at the same time.

OP here. Yes- he easily has enough money to support what would be equivalent to several generations of my family and do it well. He already has a household manager, housekeeping, driver, and a personal assistant that has been helping me out with my work.

Oh okay. Standard “youth for money” transaction. Go for it. But be careful with your prenup. You don’t want to be left penniless if when you’re 40 he decides his next wife should be 22.

+1. I probably would not be this blunt about it, but essentially this - make sure you are going to be set up financially in the even of divorce, his end of life if he lives to be elderly, or his death. You are giving up certain parts of your youth here. I'd also make getting a college degree a priority.

[Anonymous]

Those of us who are 55 will tell you that we are very different than we were at 25. At 25 I was so meek, so worried about everyone else, so unconcerned with what I wanted, the power differential that I would have had me relinquishing my entire life to someone more in control. And I wouldn't have recognized that if you had told me when I was 25.

[Anonymous]

If he didn’t want kids before he met you, he doesn’t want them now. What he does want is to f**ck a younger woman without protection, and he may want to get you pregnant which isn’t the same as wanting to have a family with you. He just knows how to say the words you want to hear since he’s had 30 more years experience on the planet then you have.

If I’m wrong, tell him you want to get married tomorrow or even today. I don’t understand why you all are engaged and not already married if he is sincere in what he’s telling you. The world is not kind to single moms which is what you are on the verge of becoming.

As for business school, go. I might have a different answer if you were legally married and trying to get pregnant. You are not, at least not legally married.

I’m concerned that he’s offering you experience in your business which won’t get you far if/when you break up. Nobody speaks well of an ex, at least not initially. Also, you don’t want to get tagged as having gotten your work experience because you were sleeping with the boss. You are worth more then that. Business school would be good for you and offers things he can’t offer.

As for him being self conscious about the age difference, he needs to get over that. He is choosing to date you, if he doesn’t present like the luckiest man on the planet, that is a problem. I’d say this about a guy your own age too, he should be thrilled at getting to do life with you.

I’d run, op. Normally I’d say you are an adult and so is he, but I’m getting a yucky vibe from this situation.


Normally I’d say you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Isn't love wonderful?

Who are these people?

[Anonymous]

I would marry him if I loved him but get a prenup that protects you, the lady giving him the invaluable gift of her youth. I would also leave his company as soon as we married, and wait at least three years before even trying to get pregnant. If you are on the fence about wanting kids, it is in your best interest not to have any with him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:His DNA is fried. Don’t have kids with old people.

That would be my main concern too. But otherwise as long as you have a solid pre-nup, I'd say enjoy!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would marry him if I loved him but get a prenup that protects you, the lady giving him the invaluable gift of her youth. I would also leave his company as soon as we married, and wait at least three years before even trying to get pregnant. If you are on the fence about wanting kids, it is in your best interest not to have any with him.

This is the best advice on this thread.