30 year age gap between fiancé and myself

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't do it!! Run!!! I'm 35 he's 52 our sex drives are no longer compatible. He finishes quickly. Unless he has an 8 figure bank account run. Older men are set in their ways. If I could talk to 25 yr old me I'd drag her by her weave to the guys her own age looking at her. So many regrets.

My husband is 13 years older then me and we have zero issue. As of now, I don’t feel he is much older than me at all...

How old are you guys?

I married a 42 yr old when I was 30. Now at 40 and 52, there’s the tiniest hint that age 50+ is different. Kind of makes me nervous.

[Anonymous]

Please follow my lead! Date an older (like 20 years or so?) but very rich guy long enough to get plenty of money basically for an NDA (in my case, just 2 years when I was 18-20), leave with plenty, and marry for love.

[Anonymous]

Pp: but that was trolly of me, sorry! Just make sure you have legal protection, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - First of all, don't listen to these people. 55 is not old. My father is in his 70s and is very active. Goes to the gym regularly, travels, is in excellent health and the whole nine. I know an 80 year old man who travels and drives a motorcycle still. If you don't mind a man 30 years your senior then please don't allow these people's negative comments deter you. Maybe they're all married to lazy, fat ass men with a whole slew of health issues and who aren't aging gracefully. It happens. Funny thing is, many of these women who are commenting are probably pushing 50 themselves. No one is promised tomorrow. You could marry someone 28, 35, 42 or whatever and they could drop dead in a week. No one knows the future. Live your best life, and for goodness sakes, stay off DCUM.

Everyone always has the unicorn example. My parents are fit and active. They are 79 and 80 and have always been in good health/taken care of their health, but they are slowing down and changing. I’m thirty years younger and cannot imagine being married to a man my dad’s age at a time when I’m still raising a teen and tween, working full-time, etc.

And your parents are almost the same age and going thru the same age and decade together. Cute!

They've been married 52 years! Lots of ups and downs but my dad is cute - he always says, "You don't let go of a Larla." (my mom).

Despite being almost 30 years older than me they both looked so young for so long that my mother was legitimately taken as my sister and because I always looked older for my age in my teens/twenties I have been mistaken for my father's wife by strangers in restaurants, etc. I say this because their approaching 80 has really been a shift. Neither one looks anywhere near 80, no memory problems, etc., but the slowing down and loss of filter/personality shifts are very stark to me. I'm saying this b/c OP may want to take into account that the person that she has today may not be the person she has at 50, when she is still pretty much herself.

I’m sorry that they’re having a difficult time now, but this is very sweet! Congrats on great parents, PP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't do it!! Run!!! I'm 35 he's 52 our sex drives are no longer compatible. He finishes quickly. Unless he has an 8 figure bank account run. Older men are set in their ways. If I could talk to 25 yr old me I'd drag her by her weave to the guys her own age looking at her. So many regrets.

My husband is 13 years older then me and we have zero issue. As of now, I don’t feel he is much older than me at all...

Ok, and we have 17 yrs. He's not fat either things don't work the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - First of all, don't listen to these people. 55 is not old. My father is in his 70s and is very active. Goes to the gym regularly, travels, is in excellent health and the whole nine. I know an 80 year old man who travels and drives a motorcycle still. If you don't mind a man 30 years your senior then please don't allow these people's negative comments deter you. Maybe they're all married to lazy, fat ass men with a whole slew of health issues and who aren't aging gracefully. It happens. Funny thing is, many of these women who are commenting are probably pushing 50 themselves. No one is promised tomorrow. You could marry someone 28, 35, 42 or whatever and they could drop dead in a week. No one knows the future. Live your best life, and for goodness sakes, stay off DCUM.

In 23 years, OP will be 48 and her finance will be Joe Biden’s age. Biden is in great physical shape for a guy his age. He still has the mental acuity to be President. But would you honestly want to be under 50 and married to someone like Biden? Some women would. Some women wouldn’t. The ones warning OP are the ones who wouldn’t. I’m 47 and I have a lot of respect for Biden, but I don’t find him sexually attractive.

It wouldn't be my choice either, but if OP likes it, I love it.

She never asked anyone IF she should marry the guy, she asked about challenges and here comes all the evil of DCUM acting like this guy has one foot in the grave. It's pretty ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - First of all, don't listen to these people. 55 is not old. My father is in his 70s and is very active. Goes to the gym regularly, travels, is in excellent health and the whole nine. I know an 80 year old man who travels and drives a motorcycle still. If you don't mind a man 30 years your senior then please don't allow these people's negative comments deter you. Maybe they're all married to lazy, fat ass men with a whole slew of health issues and who aren't aging gracefully. It happens. Funny thing is, many of these women who are commenting are probably pushing 50 themselves. No one is promised tomorrow. You could marry someone 28, 35, 42 or whatever and they could drop dead in a week. No one knows the future. Live your best life, and for goodness sakes, stay off DCUM.

In 23 years, OP will be 48 and her finance will be Joe Biden’s age. Biden is in great physical shape for a guy his age. He still has the mental acuity to be President. But would you honestly want to be under 50 and married to someone like Biden? Some women would. Some women wouldn’t. The ones warning OP are the ones who wouldn’t. I’m 47 and I have a lot of respect for Biden, but I don’t find him sexually attractive.

It wouldn't be my choice either, but if OP likes it, I love it.

She never asked anyone IF she should marry the guy, she asked about challenges and here comes all the evil of DCUM acting like this guy has one foot in the grave. It's pretty ridiculous.

This cracked me up. Honestly, to answer OP’s question...there will be insecurities but I’m more concerned about how this guy is manipulating her with the baby issue and having unprotected sex just to see if she’ll fall pregnant. I have a 34yo age gap with my husband and I’m childfree by choice; we are very much on the same wavelength. OP sounds a little naive and I don’t mean to say this disparagingly. Even if she meets a guy her age, he could be an a-hole. So her main concern is really to figure out whether this guy is a control freak, not because of his age but because of his character.

[Anonymous]

Don't do this unless he's really rich and likely to die before you're 40.

[Anonymous]

I’m the poster you responded to about why you aren’t getting married this week. Thank you, op.

I’d be with you if you were having a wedding in a church or wherever you expected people to attend, but a courthouse wedding won’t detract from your brother’s big day, not at all.
Boys are different from girls, your brother may not really even notice you got married, he’ll be happy for you, but boys don’t think the way girls do “My sister ruined my graduation because she got married the week after!”.

My husband’s aunt who is in her 80’s had planned a June wedding. Then she and her finance decided to get married in December, a good thing as they both got covid shortly after the wedding. They were treated much better by medical staff as a legitimate married couple v. a boyfriend and girlfriend.

I’d be wondering if your boyfriend gave you what my husband calls a shut up ring, basically no intent of getting married but you give the ring so your girlfriend will shut up and more importantly keep putting out.


I wouldn’t wait, op. Waiting only means you guys are boyfriend and girlfriend. Engagement really doesn’t mean much especially if you want children There’s a reason the line from Hamilton “if you love this woman go get her” is so popular. You have the desire and the legal right to marry and to do so this week. Why aren’t you?

[Anonymous]

Is he rich

[Anonymous]

If you think you will be happy, don't worry about the age difference

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m the poster you responded to about why you aren’t getting married this week. Thank you, op.

I’d be with you if you were having a wedding in a church or wherever you expected people to attend, but a courthouse wedding won’t detract from your brother’s big day, not at all.
Boys are different from girls, your brother may not really even notice you got married, he’ll be happy for you, but boys don’t think the way girls do “My sister ruined my graduation because she got married the week after!”.

My husband’s aunt who is in her 80’s had planned a June wedding. Then she and her finance decided to get married in December, a good thing as they both got covid shortly after the wedding. They were treated much better by medical staff as a legitimate married couple v. a boyfriend and girlfriend.

I’d be wondering if your boyfriend gave you what my husband calls a shut up ring, basically no intent of getting married but you give the ring so your girlfriend will shut up and more importantly keep putting out.


I wouldn’t wait, op. Waiting only means you guys are boyfriend and girlfriend. Engagement really doesn’t mean much especially if you want children There’s a reason the line from Hamilton “if you love this woman go get her” is so popular. You have the desire and the legal right to marry and to do so this week. Why aren’t you?

We are in the process on negotiating on a prenup. He has a lawyer and he paid for mine. Also my dress is still being prepared because I wanted to lose more weight.

And I was the one who didn’t want a big wedding because to be honest I didn’t go to college so I don’t have a whole lot of friends so the turnout would be basically my family anyway. And it’s not so much that I’m stealing anybody’s thunder- my brother is across the country and he’s a Type A personality who wants to ace his finals regardless if it will matter in the future. Flying out will stress him out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pp: but that was trolly of me, sorry! Just make sure you have legal protection, OP.

OP here- thanks. We’re due to sign off on a prenup that I believe is rather favorable to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pp: but that was trolly of me, sorry! Just make sure you have legal protection, OP.

OP here- thanks. We’re due to sign off on a prenup that I believe is rather favorable to me.

And I'm engaged to Chris Evans

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't do it!! Run!!! I'm 35 he's 52 our sex drives are no longer compatible. He finishes quickly. Unless he has an 8 figure bank account run. Older men are set in their ways. If I could talk to 25 yr old me I'd drag her by her weave to the guys her own age looking at her. So many regrets.

My husband is 13 years older then me and we have zero issue. As of now, I don’t feel he is much older than me at all...

How old are you guys?

I married a 42 yr old when I was 30. Now at 40 and 52, there’s the tiniest hint that age 50+ is different. Kind of makes me nervous.

Wait until he gets to 60+. It gets even more different. I was 30 when I married a 42 yr old. I am now 52 and he is 64. He has changed and aged so much since 60, and not for the better. I hope 60+ treats you and your husband better.