30 year age gap between fiancé and myself

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - First of all, don't listen to these people. 55 is not old. My father is in his 70s and is very active. Goes to the gym regularly, travels, is in excellent health and the whole nine. I know an 80 year old man who travels and drives a motorcycle still. If you don't mind a man 30 years your senior then please don't allow these people's negative comments deter you. Maybe they're all married to lazy, fat ass men with a whole slew of health issues and who aren't aging gracefully. It happens. Funny thing is, many of these women who are commenting are probably pushing 50 themselves. No one is promised tomorrow. You could marry someone 28, 35, 42 or whatever and they could drop dead in a week. No one knows the future. Live your best life, and for goodness sakes, stay off DCUM.

Everyone always has the unicorn example. My parents are fit and active. They are 79 and 80 and have always been in good health/taken care of their health, but they are slowing down and changing. I’m thirty years younger and cannot imagine being married to a man my dad’s age at a time when I’m still raising a teen and tween, working full-time, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - First of all, don't listen to these people. 55 is not old. My father is in his 70s and is very active. Goes to the gym regularly, travels, is in excellent health and the whole nine. I know an 80 year old man who travels and drives a motorcycle still. If you don't mind a man 30 years your senior then please don't allow these people's negative comments deter you. Maybe they're all married to lazy, fat ass men with a whole slew of health issues and who aren't aging gracefully. It happens. Funny thing is, many of these women who are commenting are probably pushing 50 themselves. No one is promised tomorrow. You could marry someone 28, 35, 42 or whatever and they could drop dead in a week. No one knows the future. Live your best life, and for goodness sakes, stay off DCUM.

Everyone always has the unicorn example. My parents are fit and active. They are 79 and 80 and have always been in good health/taken care of their health, but they are slowing down and changing. I’m thirty years younger and cannot imagine being married to a man my dad’s age at a time when I’m still raising a teen and tween, working full-time, etc.

And your parents are almost the same age and going thru the same age and decade together. Cute!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Isn't love wonderful?

Totally looks like her dad. Ewwwww!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Isn't love wonderful?

Totally looks like her dad. Ewwwww!

or grandad

double ew

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please don't do it, please walk away with the memories and with love.

I am 15 years into a 25 year age gap marriage that started when I was 29. Please please please don't do it. I didn't marry for money, it was (and is) for love, genuinely. But two kids in and Im 45 and he's almost 70. I promise you, it isn't worth it. It will hurt if you love him, I still love my husband very much and he is young for his age, works in a busy job, involved with kids, plays tennis, but the chasm is getting bigger by the year.
You will be okay without him. You will.

Seriously, you sound like a b*** talking about your husband like that. I’m also in an 25+ age gap marriage myself but I’m an old soul and love being home. I am childfree by choice and DH is retired. He is still very active and we love our life together. I only hope that he lives to at least a hundred and when people ask what’s his secret, he’ll say “ My wife” 😁

Sounds like pp struck a nerve. You know what she said is true which caused your vitriol reaction. It is what it is. Life is about choices. Choose wisely.

[Anonymous]

What a judgemental group! OP did not ask for advice on whether she should marry or get a prenup. She asked for advice for preparing for the challenges that such a marriage will bring.

If you don't have wisdom to share on how to make it work, why bother to chime in? Especially with one word comments like "yuck" or "gross"
Are we in grade school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What a judgemental group! OP did not ask for advice on whether she should marry or get a prenup. She asked for advice for preparing for the challenges that such a marriage will bring.

If you don't have wisdom to share on how to make it work, why bother to chime in? Especially with one word comments like "yuck" or "gross"
Are we in grade school?

No, but op was in grade school he was our age🤮

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would marry him if I loved him but get a prenup that protects you, the lady giving him the invaluable gift of her youth. I would also leave his company as soon as we married, and wait at least three years before even trying to get pregnant. If you are on the fence about wanting kids, it is in your best interest not to have any with him.

This is the best advice on this thread.

He would be almost 60 if they tried to have a kid after 3 years. Chances of having a SN baby goes up with dad's age, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What a judgemental group! OP did not ask for advice on whether she should marry or get a prenup. She asked for advice for preparing for the challenges that such a marriage will bring.

If you don't have wisdom to share on how to make it work, why bother to chime in? Especially with one word comments like "yuck" or "gross"
Are we in grade school?

No, but op was in grade school he was our age🤮

yuck, gross

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please don't do it, please walk away with the memories and with love.

I am 15 years into a 25 year age gap marriage that started when I was 29. Please please please don't do it. I didn't marry for money, it was (and is) for love, genuinely. But two kids in and Im 45 and he's almost 70. I promise you, it isn't worth it. It will hurt if you love him, I still love my husband very much and he is young for his age, works in a busy job, involved with kids, plays tennis, but the chasm is getting bigger by the year.
You will be okay without him. You will.

Seriously, you sound like a b*** talking about your husband like that. I’m also in an 25+ age gap marriage myself but I’m an old soul and love being home. I am childfree by choice and DH is retired. He is still very active and we love our life together. I only hope that he lives to at least a hundred and when people ask what’s his secret, he’ll say “ My wife” 😁

what did ^PP say that makes her sound like a b***. She said she still loves her DH, and he's fit and very involved. What about that makes OP sound like a b***?

[Anonymous]

Yikes girl

[Anonymous]

Are you a mail order bride OP?

[Anonymous]

I would ONLY marry a childless filthy rich terminally ill old fart!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - First of all, don't listen to these people. 55 is not old. My father is in his 70s and is very active. Goes to the gym regularly, travels, is in excellent health and the whole nine. I know an 80 year old man who travels and drives a motorcycle still. If you don't mind a man 30 years your senior then please don't allow these people's negative comments deter you. Maybe they're all married to lazy, fat ass men with a whole slew of health issues and who aren't aging gracefully. It happens. Funny thing is, many of these women who are commenting are probably pushing 50 themselves. No one is promised tomorrow. You could marry someone 28, 35, 42 or whatever and they could drop dead in a week. No one knows the future. Live your best life, and for goodness sakes, stay off DCUM.

In 23 years, OP will be 48 and her finance will be Joe Biden’s age. Biden is in great physical shape for a guy his age. He still has the mental acuity to be President. But would you honestly want to be under 50 and married to someone like Biden? Some women would. Some women wouldn’t. The ones warning OP are the ones who wouldn’t. I’m 47 and I have a lot of respect for Biden, but I don’t find him sexually attractive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please don't do it, please walk away with the memories and with love.

I am 15 years into a 25 year age gap marriage that started when I was 29. Please please please don't do it. I didn't marry for money, it was (and is) for love, genuinely. But two kids in and Im 45 and he's almost 70. I promise you, it isn't worth it. It will hurt if you love him, I still love my husband very much and he is young for his age, works in a busy job, involved with kids, plays tennis, but the chasm is getting bigger by the year.
You will be okay without him. You will.

Seriously, you sound like a b*** talking about your husband like that. I’m also in an 25+ age gap marriage myself but I’m an old soul and love being home. I am childfree by choice and DH is retired. He is still very active and we love our life together. I only hope that he lives to at least a hundred and when people ask what’s his secret, he’ll say “ My wife” 😁

what did ^PP say that makes her sound like a b***. She said she still loves her DH, and he's fit and very involved. What about that makes OP sound like a b***?

I don’t know... sometimes we react the most harshly to things we are not ready yet to face or see in ourselves. Their situations, despite the age gap being a similarity, are actually quite different though. One marriage involves kids and another marriage doesn’t. That has a big impact on the marriage.