Depressed, and upset ..boyfriend broke up with me and I think his mother was the reason

[Anonymous]

Op where do you see yourself in 5...10 years? Do you have goals? Plans? Or are you going to keep busting your butt just to attempt to keep a roof over your head?

Do all your plans involve getting married?

If you have no plans for yourself, it's going to be hard finding a quality guy to marry.

[Anonymous]

Wow op I am so sorry. Your boyfriend obviously doesn't love you. Move on. I do not have a bachelors degree and I am married to a doctor now. My husband is from a culture where women do not typically work. He had zero judgment. I dated other men before my husband and it wasn't a problem. I worked as a preschool teacher for many years and they were fine with my career choice. Now that my husband is finished with residency I can finish my BA. The right guy will support you and help you with your goals.

[Anonymous]

Some of you are destined to be the mil you hate in the relationship forum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow op I am so sorry. Your boyfriend obviously doesn't love you. Move on. I do not have a bachelors degree and I am married to a doctor now. My husband is from a culture where women do not typically work. He had zero judgment. I dated other men before my husband and it wasn't a problem. I worked as a preschool teacher for many years and they were fine with my career choice. Now that my husband is finished with residency I can finish my BA. The right guy will support you and help you with your goals.

Did you read that the OP has no goals?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow op I am so sorry. Your boyfriend obviously doesn't love you. Move on. I do not have a bachelors degree and I am married to a doctor now. My husband is from a culture where women do not typically work. He had zero judgment. I dated other men before my husband and it wasn't a problem. I worked as a preschool teacher for many years and they were fine with my career choice. Now that my husband is finished with residency I can finish my BA. The right guy will support you and help you with your goals.

Being a teacher is a perfectly respectable career choice, even if it's something that most of us on DCUM wouldn't choose for ourselves for various reasons. And OP doesn't have any education or any goals. Well, she does have one goal: to trap some unsuspecting guy into supporting her and her kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow op I am so sorry. Your boyfriend obviously doesn't love you. Move on. I do not have a bachelors degree and I am married to a doctor now. My husband is from a culture where women do not typically work. He had zero judgment. I dated other men before my husband and it wasn't a problem. I worked as a preschool teacher for many years and they were fine with my career choice. Now that my husband is finished with residency I can finish my BA. The right guy will support you and help you with your goals.

Did you read that the OP has no goals?

She does have goals. She wants to be a wife and mother. She wants a man interested in being the breadwinner while she is a traditional wife and stays home and cares for the kids. It’s a DCUM sin to want these things without obtaining a PhD first, but it’s a goal and it doesn’t make op the horrible names many of you have chosen to call her. As pp pointed out there are many high salaried men that want this and many of them grew up with highly educated and high powered moms and dads. The things your adult children desire and value in their personal relationships may be vastly different from what you would choose.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow op I am so sorry. Your boyfriend obviously doesn't love you. Move on. I do not have a bachelors degree and I am married to a doctor now. My husband is from a culture where women do not typically work. He had zero judgment. I dated other men before my husband and it wasn't a problem. I worked as a preschool teacher for many years and they were fine with my career choice. Now that my husband is finished with residency I can finish my BA. The right guy will support you and help you with your goals.

Did you read that the OP has no goals?

She does have goals. She wants to be a wife and mother. She wants a man interested in being the breadwinner while she is a traditional wife and stays home and cares for the kids. It’s a DCUM sin to want these things without obtaining a PhD first, but it’s a goal and it doesn’t make op the horrible names many of you have chosen to call her. As pp pointed out there are many high salaried men that want this and many of them grew up with highly educated and high powered moms and dads. The things your adult children desire and value in their personal relationships may be vastly different from what you would choose.

There's nothing wrong with that. However, if you want a "traditional" life, you need to take the "traditional" route. If that is the life she wanted, she should have found a suitable man, married him, and then had children. Now she has a child and no career- that's a lot of "untraditional" baggage and most people, male or female, would not be interested. So maybe she needs to revise her plans?

[Anonymous]

https://goo.gl/images/6orGBL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow op I am so sorry. Your boyfriend obviously doesn't love you. Move on. I do not have a bachelors degree and I am married to a doctor now. My husband is from a culture where women do not typically work. He had zero judgment. I dated other men before my husband and it wasn't a problem. I worked as a preschool teacher for many years and they were fine with my career choice. Now that my husband is finished with residency I can finish my BA. The right guy will support you and help you with your goals.

Did you read that the OP has no goals?

She does have goals. She wants to be a wife and mother. She wants a man interested in being the breadwinner while she is a traditional wife and stays home and cares for the kids. It’s a DCUM sin to want these things without obtaining a PhD first, but it’s a goal and it doesn’t make op the horrible names many of you have chosen to call her. As pp pointed out there are many high salaried men that want this and many of them grew up with highly educated and high powered moms and dads. The things your adult children desire and value in their personal relationships may be vastly different from what you would choose.

Yes, there are some "high salaried men" who want a wife who stays home and raises the kids, but "the kids" are usually "their kids", not "her kid(s)".

As a PP said, I think the 'traditional housewife' boat sailed away from OP when she had a kid as a poor, uneducated, single mom. She may still find a positive father figure for her child, and a husband to love and be loved by, but I think she's a bit delusional to think she's going to have high quality men lining up to support her and her child. I guess deep down she knows that, and that's why she's so upset that this guy broke things off.

[Anonymous]

OP, the most important thing right now is that you have a child depending on you to take care of her, and you can never depend on a partner you have to argue or shame into valuing you.

The rest is noise. Focus on that, and then figure it out from there. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow op I am so sorry. Your boyfriend obviously doesn't love you. Move on. I do not have a bachelors degree and I am married to a doctor now. My husband is from a culture where women do not typically work. He had zero judgment. I dated other men before my husband and it wasn't a problem. I worked as a preschool teacher for many years and they were fine with my career choice. Now that my husband is finished with residency I can finish my BA. The right guy will support you and help you with your goals.

Did you read that the OP has no goals?

She does have goals. She wants to be a wife and mother. She wants a man interested in being the breadwinner while she is a traditional wife and stays home and cares for the kids. It’s a DCUM sin to want these things without obtaining a PhD first, but it’s a goal and it doesn’t make op the horrible names many of you have chosen to call her. As pp pointed out there are many high salaried men that want this and many of them grew up with highly educated and high powered moms and dads. The things your adult children desire and value in their personal relationships may be vastly different from what you would choose.

Most, ok, all the SAHMs, I know, are highly educated, equivalent to their husbands. Most met in college or grad school. Similar values are generally considered a prerequisite for a successful marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One of my regrets about moving to the US is the fear that one of my children would end up marrying a single parent. You didn't mention OP if your XBF's family is non-white? In no other country would people be completely okay with a single, successful man marrying a woman who already has a child by another man. It's not so bad if the genders were reversed but single moms are really looked down upon by mainstream society, especially when they are unmarried. I also would not be okay playing grandparent to a child who isn't from any of my own children. No offense but I think the American trend of blended families is too idealistic.

I’m glad I don’t live in your home country. What a backward, awful view of single mothers and children! Woman become single mothers for all sorts of reasons, many of which are not their faults. To judge and stigmatise them and their children for this, and to treat them as damaged goods, is simply wrong. And I’m glad that we are more progressive than that and more enlightened in this country.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of my regrets about moving to the US is the fear that one of my children would end up marrying a single parent. You didn't mention OP if your XBF's family is non-white? In no other country would people be completely okay with a single, successful man marrying a woman who already has a child by another man. It's not so bad if the genders were reversed but single moms are really looked down upon by mainstream society, especially when they are unmarried. I also would not be okay playing grandparent to a child who isn't from any of my own children. No offense but I think the American trend of blended families is too idealistic.

. You are not a nice person. I bet life in the US will provide you with all that you deserve.

Exactly. Especially the part about “playing grandparent” to a kid you are not related to. How awful! If PP views children and other human beings with such contempt, and this is actually ingrained in her sad culture, then maybe she doesn’t belong here and she should go back to whatever lovely garden spot she hailed from. We don’t need anymore assholes here.

[Anonymous]

Most people don’t have college degrees. DC is unusual in the level of education and income that people enjoy.

I’m not sure if OP is in DC, but she may have better luck in a another area where people aren’t so materialistic. Of course, that means that OP would have to be open-minded about people from “flyover states,” etc,

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow op I am so sorry. Your boyfriend obviously doesn't love you. Move on. I do not have a bachelors degree and I am married to a doctor now. My husband is from a culture where women do not typically work. He had zero judgment. I dated other men before my husband and it wasn't a problem. I worked as a preschool teacher for many years and they were fine with my career choice. Now that my husband is finished with residency I can finish my BA. The right guy will support you and help you with your goals.

Did you read that the OP has no goals?

She does have goals. She wants to be a wife and mother. She wants a man interested in being the breadwinner while she is a traditional wife and stays home and cares for the kids. It’s a DCUM sin to want these things without obtaining a PhD first, but it’s a goal and it doesn’t make op the horrible names many of you have chosen to call her. As pp pointed out there are many high salaried men that want this and many of them grew up with highly educated and high powered moms and dads. The things your adult children desire and value in their personal relationships may be vastly different from what you would choose.

Most, ok, all the SAHMs, I know, are highly educated, equivalent to their husbands. Most met in college or grad school. Similar values are generally considered a prerequisite for a successful marriage.

That’s mainly because SAHMs tend to be from upper middle class backgrounds. Poorer women have to work.